Not a creature was stirring...well except the husband who tried to put his hand up his wife's blouse.
She beat his ass, and threatened him with care,
"Not until your dick gets larger, and you cut your hair!"
The children were nestled in their cheap Wal-mart beds
While tube worms and tics crawled through their nasty ass heads
Oh yeah, and they were also thinking about St. Nick
"That bastard only gave me a Playstation Two last year! What a prick!"
They slept with excitement, and joy, or whatever you wanna call it
Suddenly the pain in the ass boy sat up, "Let's steal daddy's wallet!"
The children got up, grabbed the wallet and away they lurked
Having a rich, loaded dad really had its perks!
When all of a sudden out of the window the children saw
A sleigh and some reindeer! Boy did they stare in awe!
The children heard a thump by the chimney it must be him!
"I wanna see him first! Move or I'll scalp your ass Jim!"
the young boy shouted "Gee golly gosh sir, are you Santa Clause!?"
The old fat man, did a double take and then paused
"Yes...er...sure I'm Santa Clause! I'm here to give you presents!!"
"Good!" Shouted the boy, "last year my drunk ass daddy said they got eaten by pheasants!"
"But you must go back to sleep or else no gifts for you!"
Aww replied the children "SHUT UP!" Santa said and threw at them, his shoe
The children slept tight and sound that night
And in the morn, they leapt out of bed with delight!
The children all shouted "It's time for presents, it's time for cheer!"
"Jesus," the author of this remarked "This story is tasteless and queer."
They ran to the Christmas tree! Suddenly their faces went pale
"WHAT!?!" the mom screamed, and already the stress made her fat as a whale.
"No presents here, no stockings, and where's daddy's wallet?"
The dad pointed "9-1-1 you better go call it."
"I wouldn't do that if I were you"
Said the fat old man dressed in blue "I thought you were Santa! Weren't you wearing red..."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, OR YOU'LL ALL BE DEAD!"
And with that the old man mumbled to himself
"Man if I rob AND kill the kids I'll definitely go to Hell!"
And with that the old man shrugged, and fired shotgun shells all around
"MERRY CHRISTMAS FUCKERS!" and he went up the chimney, he had earlier come down
There is a moral to this story, one you should pay fair attention to...
I just can't seem to find it...Maybe you can ya fuckin Jew
Merry Chanukah, Christmas, Kwanza, and more
Have a happy holiday P.S. your wife is a whore