"The Reason"
By
Scoutfan22
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Disclaimer: I don't own "Underworld".
Summary: "I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be. A reason to start over new and the reason is you."
Feedback: (a writer does not live on reviews alone)
Rating: PG-13
Author's notes: Due to the positive reviews from my previous "Underworld" story ("My Infatuation"), I've decided to do another story in the same vein. This is a continuation, but kind of a one-shot thing. Oh heck, just read it!
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I'm not a perfect person
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If you had told me 200 years ago that I would be madly in love with a half-vampire-half-lycan-hybrid human, for whom I've defied all the ancient blood laws and killed an Elder, I would have told you that you were crazy.
But yet, here I am.
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There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
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Michael checks the rearview mirror to watch me pretending to be asleep in the backseat then focuses his attention back on the road. The dark tinted windows keep out the sunlight, but I can still feel the warmth on my pale skin.
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I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
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I have to say, now that we've realized our feelings for each other, there's a new sense of openness that surrounds us and our actions. I rather like the feeling of his arms around me… the way he gazes at me in that quiet way of his… his soft lips coaxing mine open in kiss… even a gentle touch is enough to totally calm me.
Usually vampires don't have many emotions. I haven't felt anything like this since I was human, and that was an eternity ago.
I suppose my former brethren would ask me why I am with him.
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I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
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Michael brings out the humanity in me I thought I'd lost long ago. He's shown me many things that I'd forgotten. The simple beauty found in a flower, or the smell of a perfume, even the twinkle in the stars.
It's not always easy, because he is still learning to master the beast inside of him.
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I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
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On full moon nights, we find an abandoned place and let him transform, but he insist on being chained to the wall for the three days. It hurts me to see him, for he seems to be disgusted with himself as he goes from human to beast three times in succession every month. Luckily, he's never broken out of the chains, but there have been moments where he begs me to let him go, or to shoot him. I stay strong for him though, because I can only help him.
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I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
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It's in those moments that I grab his hand and talk encouragingly and calmly to him, though my heart is breaking at the sadness in his eyes. It's in those moments that I despise the lycans for doing this to him; that I despise myself for biting him and making himself for what he is. One night I couldn't take it anymore, and I broke down crying.
I haven't done that for years. I've shed tears, yes, but haven't had a complete break down.
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I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
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That night, he had changed, and the pleading began…
(Flashback)
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I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
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"Selene, please, let me go. Please, I'm begging you. Please, god, please."
I bit my lip and shook my head. He began to cry and managed to say through sobs, "Then just kill me. Please, I can't do this. I can't take this anymore, please. Selene, please…"
I took his hand and said in a shaky voice, "Michael, my love, don't say that. You can do this. I love you."
He looked at me, those jet black eyes brimming with tears, and in that moment I could see his anguish. "Please, kill me. Just end it, I can't—"
I threw his hand away and shrieked at him, "GODAMMIT MICHAEL, I CAN'T!! TO KILL YOU WOULD KILL ME TOO, AND I'VE SACRIFICED TOO DAMN MUCH TO WATCH YOU DIE AGAIN!!"
I collapsed to my knees and began to sob uncontrollably, "I couldn't save my family, but I could at least save you. Please don't do this to me. God, this is all my fault, I shouldn't have turned you, then you wouldn't have to go through this…"
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I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
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Michael watched the entire episode in complete silence, though there were tears still falling down his face.
After a moment, I heard his voice. "Selene, get up and look at me."
When I didn't, he growled quietly, so I did. "Come here." I walked toward him slowly, keeping my eyes to the ground. Soon I was not but a few inches from his face.
"Look me in the eyes."
I did, and icy blue stared into jet black. He leaned forward and gently began to kiss the tears from my face. I almost fainted from the feeling, but closed my eyes and let out a small whimper. When he was finished, he pulled me into his arms and we both sat on the ground.
"You're my reason for going on, Selene. Never doubt that."
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I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
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The car has stopped, and I hear a voice.
"Hey sleepyhead, wake up."
I sit up and yawn, stretching. "What is it?"
"It's almost nightfall. Do you want me to check us into a hotel, or should we keep going?"
Michael turns to me and smiles and I feel happy. Even in the tough times, I will follow him wherever he goes. It doesn't matter.
For he is my reason.
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I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
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Yahoo! It's finished! 12/21/2004 10:16 PM