Rainwater
Chapter 2: Unacceptable
Rating: R for sexual situations and suggestions, adult topics and language.
WitchyPrincess

Unacceptable

They tell me I'm spiteful. When they look into my eyes they say they don't see love anymore. They ask me what's gone wrong and they profess that they only want to help. But who the hell do they think they are? First, that I would want their help is presumptuous. Second, thinking that I would need it is even worse.

I'm going to be fine all my own. Without their sympathy hugs and 'caring' conversation. The only thing I've ever asked for is to be treated like a responsible, well-educated adult. If they can't give me that then I don't want the offer.

But despite all the anger that's wrapped around my refusal, sometimes when I'm all alone and it's quiet - when there's no one there to converse with me - I listen to the silence. I hear their voices echoing in my head and I know there's truth to their concern. I am spiteful. I have lost the loving look in my eyes. My innocence flew out the window somewhere in adolescence, and it took my self-respect with it.

Now, I realize in those honest moments, I'm struggling for breath at the bottom of an ocean filled with anguish and issue. I can't find my way to the top. I can't breathe and I can't swim up either. I'm lonely and I'm frightened. But I'm afraid that showing that weakness will make me exactly that, weak, so I cover it up with hate and disrespect.

So, yeah, maybe I am spiteful more than I need to be. Maybe I'm impulsive and unresponsive. Maybe I'm cynical and downright nasty. But, maybe, just maybe I'm looking for a lifeline somewhere, just waiting for someone to throw me one, and you're all missing the message. I don't want a kind look or a considerate pat on the back. I want acceptance for who and what I am. I'm sick of being nearly perfect, dammit, I want to be good enough for once.

Don't tell me I'm breaking your heart when I act impulsively, as I always tend to do. Don't chastise me for repeating errors. Stop trying to control what I do and say. Stop bringing up my past mistakes in the midst of my praise, or recalling what a failure I turned out to be. The golden hope of the generation, the one that had the best chance to be a woman Super-Saiyan, the one that could never quite get there. Don't remind me. Just hug me and hold me and accept me.

And please, stop breaking my fragile heart.

—Pan Son
#######

Pan cursed herself, amazed that after all these years she could still get stupider. She still hadn't learned her lesson with twenty-five years of experience. What would it take? She thought cynically, heaving a heavy sigh and closing her eyes, throwing the phone across her living room floor. He wasn't going to call, she knew he wasn't going to call. He'd said he would, she'd thought he would, but she was being stupid again.

She believed him, that was what really got her. She'd lost herself in his arms, was blissfully naive, and lost in daydreams. Now she was wide awake and reality sucked. She couldn't believe he was doing this to her. She couldn't believe she was surprised.

She'd only slept with one other guy in her life and he hadn't called back either. What had she expected? Had she actually thought he'd fall all over himself and profess his undying love for her just because she opened up to him? Let him touch her the way no one else had? Had she truly expected him to call? The truth was, she had. And the truth hurt more than anything anyone could ever do to her.

Here she was, wasting her time thinking about some guy that probably had forgotten all about her at the moment. But he had meant something to her. And it wasn't as if she had just casually fallen into his bed, they'd been dating for months. Almost eight months, to be exact. She wished she didn't care about him, wished she hadn't trusted him. She knew better in the beginning, knew what putting your trust in someone led to. She still had the scars from four years ago to prove it. So why had she given herself so fully to him?

Because she was sure he'd call. She admitted to herself silently. All the other times he'd said he would call her and hadn't, while they were dating, were forgotten. They hadn't slept together then. Then he had the right to not call. Now he simply didn't.

She looked at the phone, lying on the floor in one piece, and wondered if it were broken. Narrowing her eyes, she stood up and walked over to it, picking it up. She turned it on and dialed a few numbers, waiting impatiently for the ring. After three, someone picked up and she sighed in disappointment. It couldn't be broken if someone were answering her, now could it?

"Sydney?" Pan asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, Pan, it is my phone number that you dialed. And the people that you call typically do pick up their phones." Her friend remarked sarcastically as Pan smirked lightly.

"Yeah, yeah. Listen, do me a favor, okay?"

"Depends. What is it?"

"Call me back when I hang up?" There was silence on the other end. Then,

"Why?" Pan smiled. That was Sydney, right to the point.

"I want to see if my phone works." She informed, trying not to sound stupid. Sydney sighed.

"Brandon hasn't called?" She asked dryly, already knowing the answer. "This is the third time, Pan. When are you going to drop him? Every time he does this you know what he's doing. And then he comes back with flowers and candy and you open the door for him. Why do you do that to yourself? I don't understand it."

"Listen, Sid, spare me the lecture and just call me back, okay?"

"No," The girl replied angrily. "Your phone works fine, that's how you're talking to me."

"But maybe the ringer-"

"Pan, no. Let it go. And the next time he shows up at your door, kick his ass to the curb." With that, Pan heard Sydney hang up the phone, and grumbled under her breath as she pressed the 'end' button. Some help that was, Pan thought angrily, trying not to get worked up.

She needed to get out of this apartment. She needed to go somewhere to clear her head. She couldn't sit here all day and wait for Brandon to call, that would be sad. That would be beyond sad, she silently acknowledged, it would be pathetic.

She'd go to the park. She smiled to herself at the thought, getting up to put something decent on. She was tired of going crazy over this guy. Tired of waiting for him to realize that she was worth it. She wouldn't waste another second praying that he opened his eyes. She didn't understand why he couldn't see her for what she was, but she wished he'd learn how to. She liked him - she really liked him.

#######

Bra sighed sadly, looking down at the letter in her hands and trying to keep her hands from shaking. This wasn't necessarily a bad thing, she reminded herself. This wasn't exactly a death sentence. It could just be one of her father's fleeting mood swings, it could just be a request. But, as she looked back down at the letter and a chill flew through her, she knew it wasn't a request. This was a command - a demand. And it was to be done immediately. Two weeks.

This wasn't just a fleeting thing either, she realized, looking down at the words written on the paper. This was permanent. He meant for good. Always and forever. And he had the power to make sure she adhered to his wishes.

She knew that she could only be away as long as her parents were willing to allow her freedom, that if they demanded she come back, there would be no fighting it. No matter how old she got. Her father could find her anywhere, could bring her back anytime, and she couldn't do a thing to stop it. She thought over her options again, setting the letter down as she drew in a deep breath to calm her nerves.

She tried to look at the bright side, tried to find the silver lining. She'd had four years to discover herself. They had let her have her freedom for much longer than she'd originally thought they would. She had put up a fight, had told them that she wasn't ever going back, and thought they would let her be. But she was wrong. The matter hadn't been solved at all, only postponed. They weren't going to give her any freedom after all. They had only been tricking her all this time and there wasn't a thing she could do about it. She had been wrong; this was a bad thing. A very bad thing.

Two weeks. She had two weeks to get all her stuff together and get a flight home. Two weeks before she fell back into hell. What was she going to do?

#######

Pan threw her door open, fighting the urge to lose all control and head back to the park, find that son-of-a-bitch, and kick his ass. She couldn't believe she'd been so stupid. Her father had warned her in the beginning. Her father had 'told her so'. Brandon, he'd said, was no good for her. He would break her heart and laugh when it was over. Gohan hadn't wanted her to see Brandon. Gohan had refused to stand by and watch his daughter ruin her life with that 'good for nothing boy'.

He'd told her that she shouldn't get involved with anyone she worked with. Especially not her boss. Had told her that she was making a mistake. That thought by itself made Pan more upset than she had been about anything Brandon did. Dende, sometimes she hated her father. If he'd just mind his business and stop being so right about everything in her life, it would be okay.

This was his fault, she thought bitterly. If Gohan had been nice to Brandon they wouldn't have had their last argument and he wouldn't have walked out on her. He would have called her. She wouldn't have seen him in the park, holding hands with some girl that wasn't her, leaning down to kiss her on the lips. She wouldn't be this upset right now if her father had just kept his stupid mouth shut.

If he had been supportive instead of telling Pan how dumb she was. If he wasn't right about it. Why was life so unfair? She thought, her throat constricting as she slid down her door and drew her knees up to her chin. She closed her eyes and let the sobs come, let the tears slide down her cheeks, let herself lose it.

Would she ever be good enough for anybody? Would anyone just look at her and accept her? Hold her and not ask questions? Would anyone simply love her without wanting anything in return, without hurting her, without taking away her pride? Would she ever, ever find happiness somewhere?

Could someone love you if you didn't love yourself?

#######

She walked into the office with a swing to her hips, head high. She didn't look at the people around her as she made her way to the back, to her desk, and picked up a box with vengeance. She started to throw things in it; her pencil box flew in, pencils scattering, her notes, her papers, her pictures. Everything went into the box with a loud clang as she worked with a furry fueling her on. She heard people gasp, felt them stop to watch her, heard them whispering that she'd lost her mind.

Some of them knew the truth. Especially the people to the right of her. Where the girl was, Mai. The girl that Brandon had been with at the park. Pan looked up and glared at her as the girl shrank back, lowering her head to her desk. She heard the office door swing open loudly and knew who it was without looking at him. He stormed right to the back, his face set.

He stopped in front of her desk as she opened the drawer and yanked it out, turning it upside down over the box and shaking everything in. Her face was set into a scowl that would have scared Vegita so she was shocked when he placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Pan?" He asked softly as she stopped, looking up into his green eyes.

"What the hell do you want?" She asked, not bothering to lower her voice for privacy. He shrunk back, wincing.

"Calm down, come into my office and tell me what's wrong." He commanded, speaking softly and letting his eyes glance around the room nervously.

"I don't want to be anywhere alone with you, you s.o.b." She vented, narrowing her eyes but not lowering her voice. "I have nothing to say to you except," She threw the drawer down on her desk and reached into her pants pocket, pulling out a note. "Here." She thrust the note into his chest and picked up her box.

"What's this?" He asked hesitantly, trying not to show his fear as he gripped the paper.

"My two week notice, I quit." She started walking away as he stared at it in shock. Then, she heard him kick into action, walking behind her quickly.

"Then where are you going? Two weeks means ten working days, Pan."

"I have a vacation coming up, I'm taking it." She told him over her shoulder, her voice ice cold and biting. "I expect to get paid for these two weeks, too. Or I'll come back in here and trust me, you don't want me back in here."

"Pan, let's talk about this. I don't know what's wrong but I'm sure we can work it out. You realize, don't you, that you were about to be promoted. You can't walk out now, it would be career sui-"

She spun around so fast he lost his train of thought. Her black hair flipped in front of her face as she glowered at him, her lips curling in contempt. "Promote Mai. I never want to see you again." With that she spun back around and continued to walk, hearing scattered whispers of gossip about her as she made her way out of the office.

Screw him, she thought angrily, storming away. Screw all men. They were bad news. Every single one of them. Love just wasn't for her, she admitted as she pushed the building door opened and practically ran to her car in the parking lot. She slammed her box down on the passenger seat, after she'd opened the door, and then slammed the door shut again.

She had to get the hell away from here, she thought angrily. She was going home; not back to her apartment, but back home. To her mother and father's house. She hadn't been around lately, living in Tokyo had kept her away.

#######

Bra felt her heart beating all the way down in her ankles as she stepped off the private jet and looked at the faces before her. Her mother looked like she wanted to cry, her eyes big and glassy as she looked up at Bra, her father was stoic, as usual, the scowl set on his face in permanent ugly, and her brother had a look of anticipation that made it clear he was happy to see her. She was only glad to see her brother and walked right to him, smiling as she fell into his embrace.

"Been a long time, big brother, since I was home." She whispered, still smiling as he ran his hands over her hair and tussled it.

"Yeah, a little visit every month is never enough of me." He teased, smirking down at her. "I've missed you." He whispered back, letting her go. She nodded and backed away, turning to smile at her father. He grunted and nodded his head, his eyes shining despite his cold demeanor.

She sighed and ran up to him, wrapping her arms around his neck as he grunted again, smirking this time. "Brat. You look excited for someone so against coming home."

"Well, make the best of what you've got." She answered distantly, pulling away from him. "Especially when you don't have a choice." She added, her tone slightly biting. Before he could chastise her, she turned again and ran to her mother, throwing her arms around the woman.

Bulma nearly strangled her with the grip she had around Bra's waist as she hugged back. "You are never leaving home again." Bulma warned, turning her eyes into small slits as she pulled away from her daughter. "Look at you," She marveled, making Bra move back so that she could examine.

Bra spun around, letting her mother gather the full view. Her hair was still long and flowing, but it was more full now, wavy and touching her mid-back. Her blue jeans were low cut and hugged her body, her red shirt showing off the bottom half of her stomach and back. Bulma gasped as she caught a glimpse of her daughter's back.

"Bra!" She admonished. "I've never seen that before." She sounded almost in awe as her eyes landed on the head of the dragon the protruded from the tip of Bra's jeans. "When did you get a tattoo?" She sounded more curious than angry as she asked. Bra blushed and shrugged her shoulders as if it were no big deal, avoiding her father's and brother's gazes. She could tell they were scowling.

"What kind of tattoo?" Trunks asked, turning her around so that he could see her back. He put his finger on her jeans, pushing the hem of the jeans down a little. She jumped and narrowed her eyes, trying to turn around and push his hands away; he wouldn't let her move.

"This is Shenlong," He said after a moment, staring. "And it looks like the dragon balls are there too." He added, looking up at his father and moving his fingers away. She spun around, glaring.

"And," She added defiantly. "Nimbus is at the bottom of it all." She crossed her arms and smirked, daring them to challenge her. Both Bulma and Trunks looked to Vegita, seeing what he was going to say. But Vegita only snorted and turned around.

"Let's get home, brats. I'm sure the woman has lots of planning to do." Bulma smiled lightly and nodded, her eyes gleaming.

"I can't wait until every gets together so they can see how beautiful you are now. This is going to be wonderful, sweetheart."

"You're throwing a party?" Bra asked, faltering in her step. Her mother nodded. "No," Bra stated firmly. "You can't throw me a party. I don't want to see anyone." She shook her head, blue hair swaying back and forth.

"Don't be silly," Bulma informed her offhandedly. "I've already sent out the invitations."

Bra groaned, following behind her parents and shooting another dirty look at her brother. He shrugged and gave an offended, innocent look that told her, without words, that he couldn't help it.

"Mother does what mother wants to do." Trunks muttered, elbowing his sister as they walked to the air car. He saw that sad look in her eyes again and he didn't like it. He'd do anything to make her smile.

"Will Pan be there?" She asked, her blue eyes looking into his searchingly. There was hope there, he saw it spark behind her eyes. But why? He wondered, shifting uncomfortably. When had she started to like Pan?

He hadn't thought of Pan in at least three years, hadn't seen her in nearly four. Since Bra's last party, when they parted on such bad terms. She'd been doing everything in her power, since then, to avoid him and he'd been doing the same. Now why would Bra be asking about her? They'd never been close before.

"I'm sure she got an invitation." He answered evasively, trying not to blush because he was so distracted by the thought of seeing Pan again. The mere thought of her made his stomach turn with anger and apprehension. He wasn't sure if he was guilty or angry, but he didn't like the feeling either way. He'd broken her young heart and he knew she'd never forgive him for it. But, more than that, she'd broken his.

Her words hadn't been taken lightly. They had hit too close to home. She'd been too close to the truth for him to ignore them. He hated her for it. But he felt bad for her because of what he'd done. And both the conflicting emotions made him think he'd lose his mind. It was better to just avoid the subject of Pan all together. And then there was the issue of that kiss.

That mind-blowing, body-numbing kiss. A kiss that he'd looked her directly in the face and lied about. He wasn't exactly sure why, except that he didn't want her. And he certainly didn't want to be attracted to her. But clearly he had been. That kiss had shaken him from the inside out, it was so intense. No one, not one person since, had ever kissed him like that. Like he was their whole world and they never wanted anything else but him. And he'd been looking.

Bra's words drew him out of the haunting thoughts. "But is she coming?" She asked impatiently.

"Do you want her to come?" He avoided again, trying not to shift his gaze. She'd know something was up if he looked away from her.

"Yes, I do. There's something I want to discuss with her. If I'm going to be staying here, it's not going to be like last time. She's got to help me with something so, yes, I need to see her. Will you make sure she comes?" She asked, eyes boring into him with her plea.

He couldn't look at his sister and tell her no. He couldn't turn her down when he saw the first glimmers of happiness that he had seen in a long time. He couldn't crush that light in her face. He'd give anything, anything to make sure she found her peace of mind again.

Watching Bra before she left, and these last four years, was like watching a dead man walking. She'd had nose bleeds from stress, passed out from being too upset. She'd lost her appetite often from being distressed. She'd lost her hope, her happiness, her glow. And it killed him to see it and know there was nothing he could do about it. She was his sister, for Dende's sake. She was the only person he'd ever truly loved unconditionally. She deserved to smile and be happy, even if he wasn't.

If there was a way he could give it to her, he was going to. No matter what it cost him.

"Yeah, Bra. I'll make sure she comes." He promised, patting her shoulder and turning her around, making her start to walk toward the car again. "Now, let's go before father loses his patience with us." He teased, trying to smile through the lump in his throat. He was the reason Pan wouldn't want to come, how was he going to get her to come?

#######

"Don't forget, Pan, that you need to be at Capsule Corps in three hours. Please don't be late." Her mother reminded, a slight plea to her voice. Pan scowled, crossing her arms and giving her mother a 'yeah right' look.

"I told you that I'm not going to that and I meant it, mom." Pan told her stubbornly, pulling on her jacket. "I just wish I hadn't come home, is all." She muttered, forgetting that her mother was still in the room.

"Pan," Her mother chastised, closing her eyes and silently praying for strength. "All your father was trying to say is that you need to be more responsible in your decisions. You're a wonderful girl, it's just that you're so..."

"Why do people do that?" Pan interrupted, glaring. "Why do you and dad always follow the 'lovely girl' line with 'it's just...'? Why is there always something wrong with me?" She challenged, trying not to raise her voice.

"Let's not do this," Videl shook her head, trying to avoid another fight. "You've already had it out with your father."

"As far as I'm concerned he can fester in it until I die. I'm not apologizing." Pan warned, her voice raising despite herself. "Do you remember what he said to me? Do you remember how he butted into my life? How he threw my mistakes in my face as if I'm not trying? He had no right to make me feel like that. No right to practically tell me I was a screw up!"

"He did not." Videl argued, trying not to lose her patience with her over-emotional daughter. "You're just distraught. It's only been three weeks since you ended things with Brandon and you're looking for someone to blame. Let's not do this."

"Why do you always think this is about something less than what it is? Dad and I are always arguing and it's never about what it really is, with you. Dad thinks I'm an idiot. He's disappointed in me, nothing I ever do is enough for him. Nothing I try is right to him! And you take up for him like everything's my fault. You're no better."

"Pan, just go on home so you can get ready for the party." Videl warned, placing her thumb and pointer fingers on the bridge of her nose in frustration. She was starting to get a headache.

"You don't listen to me and dad practically hates me. Then you wonder why I am the way I am. I told you - I'm not going to that stupid ass party. I'd rather die."

"First," This was her father's booming voice, anger emanating in his eyes as he walked into the room. "You will watch your language when you talk to your mother. Second, you will go to this party because it would be incredibly rude if you didn't. This isn't just some random excuse for music and dancing, Pan, this is a welcome home thing for Bra. The girl has been gone for four years and the least you can do is make an appearance."

Pan put on the meanest scowl she could muster, trying hard not to continue to yell at her parents. They were always like this. But this was her life and if she didn't want to go somewhere, it was her damn decision. If she wanted to swear, it was her decision. If she wanted to sleep with her boss, well, that was her choice too. They had no say in it. None.

"Anything else you'd like to dictate about my life, father?" She questioned, the bite clear in her voice.

"Yes, as a matter of fact. You will lose that tone with me and take off the insolent look on your face. You may live in your own house and be old enough to do what you want on your own time, but I am still your father and you will show me respect, young lady." He responded, forehead wrinkling.

"And while you're at it, you'll apologize to your mother for yelling at her. And then you'll put a smile on your face instead of looking so nasty, you might get stuck like that."

"According to some," She started, keeping her tone and scowl. "I already have." She spun around, grabbing the doorknob and pulled on it. Her father was behind her in an instant, pulling her back with the angriest expression she'd ever seen on his face She almost quivered from fear, she fought hard so that she didn't.

"Pan, I've always only had your best interest at heart. But if you feel so strongly that I'm ruining your life then fine, I'll just bite my tongue." He told her, the anger seeping into his words. "I won't say anything anymore, won't interfere in the least unless you specifically ask for my opinion. I'll keep my mouth shut and let you live your life the way you want to. Is that what you want? For me to be distant and mind my own business?"

"Yes, daddy," She spat, surprised by his words to her. "That is what I want. And I'd like you to start with this party. I'm not going." She yanked her arm away from his grasp and swung the door all the way open, walking out.

"Fine," He called after her. "You call and tell Bulma-San yourself. I'm minding my own business now."

"Fine!" She yelled, slamming the door.

#######

Trunks played the message Pan left on the answering machine again, making sure he'd heard her right. His hands were clenched to his sides as he listening, his breath coming out slowly, angrily. She couldn't be doing this to them. This wasn't acceptable. He'd expected it, yet, somehow, it made him angry to hear the words himself.

"Hello Vegita, Bulma, and Trunks-San, this is Pan. I was just calling to let you know that I won't be able to make it to Bra's homecoming party tonight. Tell Bra I'm really sorry, will you? And tell her that, if she's interested, we could get together sometime later. Just the two of us," Her voice sounded slightly mocking here, like she thought the idea was laughable. She probably did, but Trunks didn't.

And just when had he become Trunks-San? He wished he'd known about it, it would have made him happier. Especially since she used the formal address on his name but not on his parents' names. They were older than he was and it just sounded kind of funny to his ears. The message continued with,

"Once again, I'm really sorry I won't be able to come," Sure you are, Trunks thought, gritting his teeth. "Hope you understand. Bye!"

He erased the message, shaking his head. Oh, he understood all right. But what Pan didn't understand was that she wasn't backing out of this. He wouldn't let her. For some reason it was important to his sister that she be there and Trunks had promised Bra that Pan would be there.

He may have been considered a lot of things in his life, especially by Pan, but he was not a dirty liar. He didn't break promises he made to his sister, of all people. He loved his sister and he was going to keep her happy.

She hadn't talked about much of anything since she got home. She'd only told him a little bit about New York and the people she had met. Barely mentioned her life, all four years worth of it, and didn't seem to have the energy to do anything but get out of bed. But she was excited about this, about Pan, and he wasn't going to question it. If Bra wanted Pan, the princess would get Pan. And she had made it clear that she wanted Pan.

It was his job to deliver. Pan was going to have to set aside any differences she had for Trunks, at least for this one night, and come over to Capsule. Even if he had to drag her by the hair, kicking and screaming. He would see to it that she got there. Her refusal was unacceptable, that was all there was to it.

To be continued...

Sidenote to gracyneekap: Vegita (or Vegeta) can be spelled either way. They do that in Dragonball, like Krillen, Krillin; Goku, Gokou, etc. Because of the American translations, the names are different/not deicided upon (like: Bura, Bulla, and Bra are all the same person).

I won't usually do authors notes, but since I just made an exception: thank the rest of you for you enthusiastic interest in my work. I love when you review. It makes my day.