Rainwater
Chapter 7: Something, Anything
Rating: R for sexual situations and suggestions, adult topics and language.
WitchyPrincess

Something, Anything

The biggest lies ever told start with "Some day I..." and "One day we..." It's automatic flashing red lights that whatever's coming next is never going to happen. Seriously, who believes promises like that anymore? Everyone knows 'someday' is nothing but a link between today and a day that doesn't exist. And 'one day' is just as bad.

So why is it that I'm constantly telling myself those exact phrases? Knowing what I know and not believing that 'someday' or 'one day' exists, why would I put myself through the torture of a promise I never intended to keep? Why would I tell myself I'm going to do something and never do it?

And who am I kidding? I know why.

For the comfort of the situation. People say 'someday' because they don't want to admit they never will. They say 'one day' because they don't want to say 'it'll never happen'. But that's what it really means. And I'm no different.

I like to pretend things will be better. Things will change. That some day, he is going to love me. And one day we will be happy. But the difference between my 'some days' and 'one days' and everyone else's is I know, when I say it, that it probably won't happen. Except, this time, knowing that I'd have someone else to look to when things got rough, someone else to talk to about the burden, I really expected it to work...

–Bra Briefs
#######

Bra examined the blue sweat pants quietly, thinking to herself. There were a million things shooting through her head that she was trying to block out. Namely New York. And Goten.

Life had changed so much for her in the last four years it was amazing the things she had learned. She had fought hard for her independence, had hopped on a plane and traveled to New York without a second thought; but when she'd gotten there she'd discovered things weren't as great as she imagined they would be. Dreams never seem to pan out as wonderfully as people imagine they will.

Everything was just as cold, just as distant. It was still hard to live without him, still hard knowing he loved someone else. Millions of miles and an ocean away, and she still couldn't get him out of her head. She'd tried everything and nothing had worked. And then her parents had declared her independence over and forced her to return home. Return to his observant gaze and confused anger because she'd left him out of something he considered important to him; she'd left him out of her life.

So many things were the same, yet so many things were different now.

She rubbed her fingers lightly over the tattoo on her back, resting on her hip line seductively. She still didn't know what had possessed her to get that tattoo, but she didn't regret it. She liked it. It reminded her of her family and her friends, while she was away.

And in all honesty, it had reminded her of Goten. It was as close as she'd ever get to branding his name on her body. There was a dragon centered on her hips, floating in the sky, its tail wrapped around a cloud - Nimbus. There were dragon-balls scattered around the clouds and dragon, the five star ball was directly in the middle.

When she first decided that she wanted to get a tattoo, she had wanted to find something cute and feminine. A white flower that represented hope, or a butterfly the symbolized freedom. Maybe a shooting star to exemplify her dreams. But, when it came down to it and she was sitting in the chair, she changed her mind. She decided that she wanted Shenlong instead, and when she thought about it he did represent all those things.

After all, he was magic dragon that could grant you nearly any wish. And it was everything her family and friends was built on. What drew them together and kept them close. The reason they fought, the reason they searched and bonded. It just seemed appropriate that Shenlong be the one on her back instead of some corny flower. So she'd had it done and she never regretted it.

Bra smiled, drifting out of her thoughts and pulling on the blue sweat pants. Pan was going to be here in three minutes, Bra had never known the girl to be late when there was fighting involved. Of course, that could have something to do with the fact that Vegita would have disowned Pan if she'd showed up even a minute late for practice with him. She was that man's pride and joy and she knew it.

That was why it was so startling to find out that Pan hadn't been over the entire time Bra was away. Surely it had nothing to do with the fact that Bra had left, as Bra had established with Pan the last time they talked, Bra had been a real bitch to the girl. So the lack of her would seem to have done Pan a favor. Yet...no Pan. Bra wondered why.

Perhaps it had something to do with Trunks. They did seem abnormally uncomfortable with each other. And Pan had called Trunks an 'ass' the last time she talked about him. And she was calling him 'Trunks-San'. When did that happen? Ever since Pan could understand that 'San' was a form of reverence, given to elders and not close friends, she'd been leaving it off of Trunks' name. Why had she suddenly added it back, when she was old enough to not say it anymore? It all sounded slightly odd to Bra. Not to mention the way Pan had kept hinting that Trunks was gay. The younger Pan would have been insulted by the mere insinuation, but this Pan had outright said that he was. Bra smiled lightly, shaking her head.

Bra would find out soon enough. Once she and Pan established a real relationship, the kind that students developed with their teachers, and started to trust each other, Pan would share what she wanted to share. Especially since Trunks was Bra's brother, and no one knew the boy better than Bra. Besides, Bra knew that Pan still wanted Trunks. She had to, no one could get over something they had felt that strongly about. Bra knew this from experience.

She shook the thoughts away as she heard the doorbell ring, running out of her room before anyone had the chance to open the door. That way she'd be standing there when Pan walked in and the girl couldn't accuse her of being late.

Bra adjusted the white tank-top she was wearing, straightening her shoulders as she walked into the living room, expecting to see Pan. But it wasn't Pan and who she saw instead made her head spin. It was Goten. And not just any Goten, a ready-to-kick-someone's-ass Goten. He had on a black wife beater and loose blue sweat pants. Bra could see half of his chest and the rippling muscles of his arms as he stood there, looking at her with the same confused, astonishingly blank look on his face.

"You're not Pan." Bra told him seriously. He nodded his head dumbly, apparently not really hearing her because he seemed too busy with something else. She couldn't tell what though. He was just...staring at her. Finally,

"You're not Trunks." He acknowledged, shaking his head. "You're definitely not Trunks." He shook his head again, licking his lips and finally pulling that smile she was so used to out of his memory. Only, it was slightly different...she couldn't point out why. Maybe because there was a slight smirk to it.

"You were going to fight, weren't you?" Bra asked him, slightly crestfallen. "See, I didn't know. Pan's meeting me here and she thinks we've got the GR. I mean, I even got daddy to give us his normal training time and..." He cut her off, a sparkle glittering somewhere deep in his eyes.

"You're going to train?" There was laughter hidden behind that question that ignited all kinds of indignant fires inside of her. She straightened her shoulders, poked out her chest - which caused him to gulp and wipe that ridiculous smile off his face - and rolled her eyes.

"Don't say it like that. Like I'm not half Saiyan." She wanted to pout but didn't, she gave him a death glare instead. He laughed softly, shaking his head and throwing his hands up in a peace offering.

"I'm...I'm sorry, Bra, I was just shocked." He was grinning again, obviously trying not to laugh.

"Well, you can just mosey right back to your little apartment because you're not getting the GR." She crossed her arms and leaned the weight of her body on one hip, glaring dangerously.

"Relax, sweetheart." He winked at her. She was sure her heart nearly jumped out of her chest. She tried to calm the party her molecules started having at the mere action. "Trunks and I are just going to do a bit of sparring." Her eyes narrowed again, she was giving him a mean glare when he added, "In the back yard. Next to the woods." When she didn't ease the death glare he said, "Outside of the GR." Finally, she smiled.

"Yeah, right. Trunks hasn't done 'a bit of sparring' in...years." She had considered counting how many years it had been but changed her mind, not having enough patience to think that far back. "Why would he, out of the blue, call you up and want to spar?"

"I don't know," Goten told her, his eyes still laughing at her as he spoke. "Why would you ask Pan?"

"Maybe I needed to exercise a little frustration." She clenched her fists.

"Yeah, well maybe he did too." He responded lightly.

"Or maybe not." She challenged needlessly. He did laugh then.

"Fine, maybe not B-Chan."

She paused, forcing her mouth to stay closed and not drop open in anger. She hated that she could look like this, hair pulled back into a part pony-tail part bun, form fitting sweat pants, small white tank top that didn't cover her stomach completely and showed off the tattoo on her back, and he could still call her 'B-Chan'. How childish was that name? And why did it always remind her of her place? And where the hell was Pan, she was late.

It was Trunks that walked in when she thought that. Bra eyed him curiously, going over his features with hawk-like precision. On first glance he looked normal, smiling lightly, hair combed, fighting gear on. But upon closer inspection he looked like crap. Only the kind of crap a sister would notice, of course. His eyes had gray bags under them that never existed, no matter how much he worked. His hands were shaking and his smile was plastered on. An unearthly sort of eerie. Also, his eyes weren't shining in even the slightest. They usually lit up a little, at least.

He turned those blue eyes on her, curiosity in his stare as he lifted a lavender eyebrow. "Why do you look so...revealing? Please put on a bigger...everything, you're distracting my upchuck reaction."

"Oh, go shove off, I'm waiting for Pan. We're supposed to spar today." Bra responded, eyes narrowed again though she wasn't really upset. Coming from her brother, that meant she looked hot.

"Pan called you to spar, too?" For some reason, he seemed amused by this, like Goten had been. Bra's nostrils started to flare as she took defensive mode.

"Why did you say it like that? Like Pan couldn't possibly want to spar with me? What are you trying to say, Trunks, that no one," Goten interrupted her, an annoyed anger lighting his own eyes.

"He didn't say 'Pan called you to spar?', Bra. He said, 'Pan called you to spar too'." Goten seemed to be thinking hard about something as Bra let this sink in, realizing that Goten was right. "What do you mean, Trunks?" Goten continued, as if he knew something everyone else didn't. Suspicious and accusing at the same time. "Do you know something that we don't? Did something happen with you and Pan?" Trunks blushed. Bra rolled her eyes.

"We've had this scheduled since Sunday, you know. And she's late." Bra tapped her feet on the floor, glaring from her brother to Goten, getting the feeling that she knew perfectly well what was going on but not wanting to let Goten interfere. Obviously Trunks and Pan had had a fight recently and now Trunks thought she was taking her frustrations out on Bra. What with the way those two had went at each other's throats on Sunday, Bra wouldn't be surprised if that's exactly what had happened. And she wouldn't be surprised if that was why Pan was late also; the girl didn't want to have to face Trunks.

But this wasn't about Trunks, Bra thought with a small whine. This was about her, and the rest of her life. How could Pan ignore that? How crummy of Pan to consider not showing up, despite Bra nearly begging her to. Even if she didn't want to be here, the least she could do was put aside her own personal feelings to keep her promise to Bra. And, cold fear ran over Bra, as she considered that maybe Pan wouldn't show up at all because of it. What if she changed her mind? Bra closed her eyes, trying hard not to think of it as she heard one of them leave the room and walk towards the back, out the door.

It must have been Trunks because after a moment she heard Goten say, "You know, I haven't seen you without all that make-up on since you were fourteen. You've really got a beautiful face." She didn't open her eyes because she was sure, if she did, that she'd blush from head to toe. Instead she let her lips curve into a slight smile of appreciation as she nodded her head.

"Thank-you." She managed, voice slightly raspy as she pushed the sound out. When she heard his footsteps follow Trunks' she opened her eyes, all the blood rushing to her cheeks. Had he just practically called her beautiful? She certainly thought so.

As that thought rung through her head, the door was pushed open and Pan showed her own self to the living room. Bra didn't even bother to frown at the girl for being late, she felt as if she were lighter than a feather at that moment. Pan had decided to come after all. And Goten was all ready warming up to her. This was going to work, it had to. He'd be in love with her in no time—or at least he'd be interested.

Meanwhile, the girl that had rushed into her house, stopped a few centimeters in front of Bra, her face flushed. She had the same gray spots under her eyes that Trunks was sporting. She also looked a mess at second observations, though she passed first without a hitch. Her hair was pulled back into a proper bun, as though she'd spent extra time on it, she was wearing orange-flared cotton pants and a white shirt that caught her curves wonderfully. And if Bra hadn't been looking for distress she wouldn't have found it anywhere in Pan's countenance. But Pan's hands were shaking as well, when she gave Bra a sideways look that was silently begging for forgiveness.

"It's okay," Bra smiled lightly, almost beaming. "I know about you and Trunks and I thought you weren't going to show." Pan's face paled at least two shades as she backed up, her expression turning sour.

"You know?!" She looked horrified as bits of pink pressed behind the skin of her cheeks. Was she about to blush? "Who told you? Bulma? What exactly do you know? Did he say something about me, because it's not true! I'm not anything he says I am. I didn't know...I mean I knew it was just a joke...And, anyway, I wouldn't decide not to go anywhere simply because that jackass," Bra cut her off, her clear-blue eyes getting large. Pan was calling her brother an 'ass' again, at least Bra assumed she meant Trunks. And she was incredibly riled for some reason.

"Relax Pan, no one told me." The older girl smiled happily, giving Pan a reassuring pat on the shoulders. "I just figured. The way you two are always all over each other, at each other's throats and stuff, I just,"

"We are not!" Pan seemed disgusted, perfectly slandered. She shook her head to ward off the image, Bra laughed.

"Yes you are, don't even try to play it off." This time she was sure Pan blushed. "Look, it's cool Pan. I mean, I don't know why you have such a strong distaste for my brother but," she shrugged. "As long as you keep to killing him in the office and not in front of me, I don't care. So, did my mother walk in on you two while you were fighting or something? Is that why you thought she told me?"

"Fighting?" Pan asked apprehensively, smiling slightly as if something were incredibly amusing. "Well, she...um, walked in on us, yes." Pan nodded, her eyes lighting as she seemed to visibly relax. Bra shrugged, wondering what that was all about.

"Anyways, Trunks must be upset about it because he and Goten are sparring right now. But don't worry, we've still got the GR." This seemed to make Pan upset again. Or incredibly uncomfortable. Bra wondered what was going on with the girl. Shouldn't she be happy if Trunks was upset? If she had managed to drive Trunks to distraction? Didn't they hate each other now? Wasn't that the deal?

"So, anyway, what was just a joke?" Bra tried to make casual conversation as they headed out into the GR. She didn't want to look at Goten, to be distracted by Goten.

"Huh?" Pan questioned, her thoughts obviously somewhere else.

"When you were talking about what happened with you and Trunks, frantically, might I add, you said you didn't know it was just a joke. Or you did know...one of them?" Bra shook her head. "What was a joke?"

"What, Bra?" Pan asked again, still not listening. Her eyes were trained to the sky, obviously watching what Bra had convinced herself she didn't want to look for. But there they were, Trunks and Goten, fighting as if it had only been yesterday. Bra lost her train of thought and both she and Pan walked over to the GR in silence.

#######

For some reason, Bulma was sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Pan when she and Bra were through training. Trunks had already stopped fighting to get ready for work, Pan noticed though she didn't really want to. She had been trying to clear her mind of Trunks, not wonder where he was going and what he was doing.

How dare that jerk take advantage of her attraction to him simply to prove he didn't fumble during four-play. She felt...angry and confused. They had an incredible attraction to one another, not even he could deny that, and now she was wondering how she was going to face him ever again. She wasn't stupid enough to think he hadn't felt just as hot for her while he was proving his point, but she still felt used just the same.

Especially since he had told her, under no uncertain terms, four years ago that he would never be interested in her. Now she just didn't know what to think, what to believe. She didn't know what was going on with them, except that she wanted him, a lot, and he seemed to share the feeling. But he'd said, hadn't he, that he was just proving a point. So that was why he'd done it. As for her, she had enjoyed every single moment of it.

She'd betrayed herself, forgotten that she was supposed to hate him, and that was the worst thing that could have happened to her. How could she lose herself like that around him? Clearly, she couldn't be alone with him again; at least, she'd have to keep her defenses up when she was with him. Now that she knew he was not totally against touch her, taking advantage of her would be easy for him to do.

And now she was going to have to explain what happened to Bulma. What could be more embarrassing than talking to the mother of the guy you'd just been caught fooling around with about what happened? At this moment, as Bulma told Bra that she'd like to have a few minutes alone with Pan to 'talk', she couldn't think of anything.

Bra gave Pan a sympathizing look, assuming it was about the 'fight' Bulma had walked in on, presumably. Pan wanted to grab Bra's hand and tell her not to go away. She wanted to run with Bra and never speak to Bulma again. But, more than any of those things, she wanted the floor to simply open up and swallow her whole. This was so horrifying.

"Are you sure this can't wait, Bulma? I've got to," Pan cringed at the thought, "Be in the office in an hour. Couldn't we talk about this some other time?" She questioned once she and Bulma were alone together.

"Certainly it can wait, Pan." The girl almost smiled with her relief, but she had a feeling there was a catch to Bulma's words. "But for how long? When would we both have the time? Besides, you're here now." Bulma waved towards the dinning chair opposite hers, silently telling Pan to sit.

"Is this about yesterday? Because, I know what it looked like, but honestly Bulma-San, I," But Bulma cut her off, a pleased smile curving onto her beautiful face. She reached up and pulled her glasses off, leaning across the table to look at Pan directly, her deep blue eyes boring into the girl.

"You don't need to be uncomfortable, Pan. The last thing I'm going to do is lecture you. In fact, what I had to say was quite the opposite." Her voice held a teasing air to it as she said this. Pan gulped with confusion, looking behind her to make sure they were completely alone even though she knew they were. She could scan people's ki after all.

"Well, you weren't going to praise me for what happened...were you?" There was a sliver of terror in her voice as she asked, hoping that Bulma would say that her suggestion was ridiculous. She didn't.

"Pan, I think now's the perfect time to have this discussion." She ignored the question all together, as if Pan hadn't even asked it.

"What discussion is that?"

"Do you love my son?" She ignored Pan's question again. The young girl choked on her own saliva as Bulma asked the question.

"What? What would make you think I loved him? I mean...okay, I know what would make you think that but...Well, Bulma-San, sex and love are two completely different things these days. It's not like when you were,"

"Pan," Bulma warned, her face slightly amused as she interrupted. "If you're about to finish that with something along the lines of 'it's not like it was in your day', don't. I am perfectly aware of the difference between sex and love, trust me." Bulma tried not to snicker as she closed her eyes, the urge overwhelming her willpower.

"I don't mean to sound crude or like a slut but...Well, what you saw wasn't love, Bulma."

"You haven't answered my question. I asked if you loved my son. Not if I was witnessing some profession of that love. Tell me the truth Pan, I already know the answer."

"What makes you think I'm in love with your son? Why would you assume that,"

"Darling, why would you assume that I meant I already knew you loved him? Perhaps I already knew you didn't?"

"Well...what's the purpose of this anyway?" Pan tried to find some solid ground in this conversation. She was confused as hell.

"I simply wanted to be sure. And now I am." Bulma nodded, smiling again. Pan raised a suspicious eyebrow.

"What are you sure of?"

"You do love my son." There was satisfaction in her voice as she answered.

"Why would you think so?"

"I already told you. You assumed I meant I already knew you did love him. You answered my question without even realizing it."

"So, now you're a psychologist? Maybe I only assumed that's what you meant because everyone else thinks I do. Or maybe,"

"Pan, it's okay. I want you to love him."

"Why would you want me to love someone that I could never have?" Pan asked without meaning to, not able to stop herself in time. But she was just slightly outraged by Bulma's admission.

"Because yesterday I became quite sure that you're what he needs. And you're obviously what he wants." She winked at the girl as she finished, catching the red that crept up her neck.

"Yesterday was a mistake that won't happen again." Pan stated firmly.

"No doubt he'll be giving you the same lecture in," Bulma looked down at her watch. "About forty minutes. But for now, why don't we drop our guards and be honest with each other?"

"What is it you're waiting for me to say, then?"

"I want you to say that, being perfectly honest, if you had your choice yesterday would have been the beginning of lots of 'mistakes'."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because I'm going to tell you how to get your way. You love my son and when you're through with him, if you listen to me, he'll love you too."

"Why would you do that for me?" Pan asked, not bothering to correct the woman. If Bulma wanted to think she was in love with Trunks, that was fine. Whatever.

"Because my children need something that I don't know how to give them. And I think I just figured out what it was." Silently Bulma added, You. You shake up their lives and make them smile. Moments ago I just saw my daughter happier than she's ever been. And yesterday I saw the life shining in my son's eyes. They need you, Pan, and I'm going to give you to them.

"And you think I'm going to give it to Trunks?"

"Once he falls in love, his life will be so much better than it's been. It would make everyone happy. So, are you interested?"

"In loving your son?" No, Pan thought, nearly shaking her head. No, I'm not interested. But I'm plenty interested in him loving me...

"In being in love."

"Tell me what to do."

She didn't, instead she changed the subject again. "Do you know about how Vegita and I fell I love?" She waited until Pan shook her head 'no' before she continued. "He was staying at Capsule to train and fight the androids."

"I know, Bulma. He stayed for three years and somehow you two fell in love and you got pregnant. But then he went into space to become a Super-Saiyan and when he came back he had to fight the androids, but he finally got back to be with you and Trunks. I know all about that. I thought you were going to tell me the real story."

"I am. But what makes you think that's not the real story?"

"He leaves you pregnant to go and become Super? I mean, come on, he's not Goku, Vegita's always cared more for his family than fighting."

Bulma burst into a fit of laughter. "No, he hasn't. Goku loved his family a million times more than Vegita ever did. That was why Vegita thought Goku was so weak, because his family was his weakness."

"Gohan was his weakness. He had no qualms about leaving the rest of us behind. Every chance he got."

"Oh, Pan,"

"Don't, finish your story."

"Right," Bulma quickly nodded, knowing not to get too heavy into discussion of Goku. She could only defend him so much. "Anyway, Vegita and I hated each other. We fought and insulted each other every chance we got."

"Not much has changed." Pan smirked as Bulma nodded.

"Yeah, and it probably never will. But that's not the point. The point is, Vegita didn't fall in love with me during those three years. And he went to space because he didn't want to be with me."

"But...Trunks...born...And you two were..."

"Yeah, Pan. But weren't you the one that told me sex and love didn't go hand in hand? Sex, Pan, is sex. It can happen without love, but you were wrong about them not going hand in hand. Eventually..." She let the thought linger, not finishing. "Vegita wasn't going to come back to me. It was future Trunks that ultimately changed his mind, I believe. Seeing what his son could be. But in the future, he never came back."

"Maybe he would have if he hadn't died. Maybe he did love you in both time lines."

"Maybe he did, Pan." But her eyes were telling Pan she didn't believe it. The young girl tilted her head, studying the woman closely.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because Vegita didn't love me. He didn't even like me. But he came back. And Trunks is not nearly as cold as Vegita was then. Do you see?" There was tense silence for a moment before Pan's eyes widened.

"Are you telling me to sleep with Trunks? Even if I would consider that, it wouldn't work. I doubt I could even make him want me, much less love me."

"He already wants you. And I'm not telling you to do anything. I'm simply saying that..." Bulma stood up, straightening her designer shirt and pulling her shoulders back, putting her glasses back on. "You'd be amazed what sex can do to change a man's heart."

Pan sat there dumbly for a few minutes after Bulma walked away, her mouth slightly open. She couldn't believe what she'd just heard. Bulma was condoning such behavior from her? It went against everything she knew, everything she'd been taught. How could that woman tell her to do something like that? And, worse yet, how could she be considering it?

She must have sat with her mouth open for three minutes before she felt Trunks' ki approaching the kitchen. He paused when he saw her, nearly turning around and heading back in the other direction. But for some reason he turned back around, a determined look on his face. He cleared his throat nervously, a slight smirk pressing his lips.

"Are you mad at me, Pan?" When she blinked but didn't respond, and didn't close her mouth, he said, "Listen, I...well, I shouldn't have...Okay, I'm sorry. Are you happy, now?"

Her mouth stayed open, her eyes blinked again.

"Fine." He consented to her silence. "You don't have to come back to the office if you don't want to."

Still, silence.

"Pan...say something...anything. Are you okay?"

Something, anything. She could walk away right now. She could turn around and pretend she hadn't heard Bulma. Pretend like there wasn't a small chance that she could seduce Trunks and make him love her. And then, then she could...Say something, anything, Pan. She told herself.

"I'll see you in thirty minutes, okay." She smiled easily at him, getting up slowly and straightening her shirt as she walked towards him. "Oh, and don't worry about yesterday." She casually ran her hand across his cheek as she shook her head. Then, ignoring his shocked expression, she walked past him and out of the kitchen.

She couldn't believe she was going to do this.

To be continued...

sidenote to Ryuzuki: thank-you for pointing out the "four-play/ foreplay" fiasco. I did not know that - or, rather, I didn't pay much attention to it - and I sincerely appreciate the correction. I love it when you guys listen to my pleas.

To the rest of you, I am honestly pleased with the exceptional response that I've been recieving for this story even though I haven't updated NSN yet. I'd like to tell you that an update is on it's way but I'll just have to be honest here: I can't make myself write that story - no matter what I try. I'm so sorry, but I haven't stopped trying. I don't intend to. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this installment of Rainwater. (And I hope there weren't too many mistakes because I didn't do the usual read-through. Life has been a bit busy this week. Sorry.)