Chapter 10
He took two cautious steps in the darkness. The soft patter of his footsteps seemed like a shout in the empty silence. He paused, breathless. Had they heard? The clouds shifted for a moment and the light of the moon shone through faintly. Just enough light, he thought. He could see the hut only a few feet away from the place where he was standing. He knew instinctively that his mother was there.
He pulled his lightsaber from his belt and walked the remaining few feet. The hut was made of some sort of animal hide. The stench was enough to turn a man's stomach, but he didn't even notice it. His thoughts were on one thing. He glanced around before igniting his saber and slicing through the hides. He pushed his way into the darkened hut.
There she was, just as he had seen her so many times before. Her broken form hung from a wooden cross. He crept toward her and pulled her wrists loose from the leather thongs. Her body slumped against his as he sunk to the ground.
"Mom?"
She murmured his name and turned her bruised and sorrowful face toward him. "Why didn't you keep your promise?" she asked softly. "You promised to free them. Why didn't you?"
"Mom, I'm sorry, I-" he halted. The shadowy figure was in front of them. A hood concealed its face. The figure bent over his mother. He heard a peculiar hum and a low gasp from his mother. The figure stood; his mother was dead. Somehow he knew that the figure was leering at him from the shadows of its hood. He did not shed a tear, but pure agony exploded from his heart and expanded until it filled every fiber of his being.
He was unaware of the movement of the mysterious figure until he felt a chill breath on the back of his neck. The being laughed a mirthless, evil laugh. That was the last sound he heard before a blade pierced his back. He felt no pain. He was merely aware of the appalling sensation of a foreign object entering his body. He felt himself fading into the darkness.
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Anakin's eyes popped open; his body was drenched in sweat. There were tears in his eyes, so he lifted his hand and wiped them away. He rolled out of the bed and walked toward the window. His hand rested on the frame as he stared at the city lights with unseeing eyes. His thumb traced patterns on the cool metal. The dream was coming now with alarming regularity. Each time it was longer and more frightening. Anakin thought of his mother's words. His promise.... He didn't even know he remembered that promise. Now it all came back to him.
He had been so sure that Qui-Gon had come to free all the slaves. He hadn't. When he took Anakin away, Anakin had promised his mother that he would return to free her and all of the other slaves. He sighed softly. He had come back to free her, and he had found her free. He had seen her receive her ultimate freedom.
Grief is such an odd thing. You never really get over losing someone you love. Some would say that time heals all wounds, but it doesn't. It had been several months since his mother's death, but Anakin still grieved. The memory had faded enough that he didn't think of it every waking moment, but at times the oddest things would remind him of Shmi. Memories that he had once held onto and treasurede now brought exquisite pain. Thinking of his mother reminded him of how she died. It reminded him of his failure. Anakin's hands clenched into fists. He thought of her being helpless as she was tortured by Tuskens. His fist pounded the window frame.
"They're animals." He mumbled. That's what he'd told Padme. That was after he had slaughtered them.
The thoughts exploded in his head and he whirled away from the window. He did the only thing he could do when he felt this way. He lashed out angrily. A remote was in the corner. He snatched it and pushed the button to activate it. He ignited his lightsaber and began to strike at the remote. He dodged and swiped. He grunted a few times. He leaped over the remote and struck it just as his door hissed open. A very sleepy Obi-Wan was staring at him questioningly. Anakin turned off his lightsaber and the remote instantly became still.
"What are you doing, Anakin?" Obi-Wan's voice was groggy.
Anakin panted, all of the feelings that had caused his to lash out were draining from him, leaving him weak and sorrowful. "I was - practicing." It was the only excuse he could think of.
"In the middle of the night?" Obi-Wan asked. Anakin nodded. Obi-Wan frowned, then yawned. "Anakin, don't let your desire to become the best deprive you of the things that are important to you. Things like sleep."
Anakin was crushed. He was in so much pain, nd Obi-Wan seemed to take every opportunity to put him down. He truly looked at Obi-Wan as a father figure, but lately he didn't even want to be around him. Anakin took a deep breath, "I'm sorry. I'll stop now."
Obi-Wan nodded and shuffled away. The door hissed closed. Anakin's lightsaber dropped from his hand. All of his strength fled his body. The grief swept over him in waves. It wrenched his heart and tied his stomach in knots. He struggled to keep the tears and sobs back. He collapsed helplessly to the floor. The room was hushed, but it was filled with inaudible screams.
He took two cautious steps in the darkness. The soft patter of his footsteps seemed like a shout in the empty silence. He paused, breathless. Had they heard? The clouds shifted for a moment and the light of the moon shone through faintly. Just enough light, he thought. He could see the hut only a few feet away from the place where he was standing. He knew instinctively that his mother was there.
He pulled his lightsaber from his belt and walked the remaining few feet. The hut was made of some sort of animal hide. The stench was enough to turn a man's stomach, but he didn't even notice it. His thoughts were on one thing. He glanced around before igniting his saber and slicing through the hides. He pushed his way into the darkened hut.
There she was, just as he had seen her so many times before. Her broken form hung from a wooden cross. He crept toward her and pulled her wrists loose from the leather thongs. Her body slumped against his as he sunk to the ground.
"Mom?"
She murmured his name and turned her bruised and sorrowful face toward him. "Why didn't you keep your promise?" she asked softly. "You promised to free them. Why didn't you?"
"Mom, I'm sorry, I-" he halted. The shadowy figure was in front of them. A hood concealed its face. The figure bent over his mother. He heard a peculiar hum and a low gasp from his mother. The figure stood; his mother was dead. Somehow he knew that the figure was leering at him from the shadows of its hood. He did not shed a tear, but pure agony exploded from his heart and expanded until it filled every fiber of his being.
He was unaware of the movement of the mysterious figure until he felt a chill breath on the back of his neck. The being laughed a mirthless, evil laugh. That was the last sound he heard before a blade pierced his back. He felt no pain. He was merely aware of the appalling sensation of a foreign object entering his body. He felt himself fading into the darkness.
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
Anakin's eyes popped open; his body was drenched in sweat. There were tears in his eyes, so he lifted his hand and wiped them away. He rolled out of the bed and walked toward the window. His hand rested on the frame as he stared at the city lights with unseeing eyes. His thumb traced patterns on the cool metal. The dream was coming now with alarming regularity. Each time it was longer and more frightening. Anakin thought of his mother's words. His promise.... He didn't even know he remembered that promise. Now it all came back to him.
He had been so sure that Qui-Gon had come to free all the slaves. He hadn't. When he took Anakin away, Anakin had promised his mother that he would return to free her and all of the other slaves. He sighed softly. He had come back to free her, and he had found her free. He had seen her receive her ultimate freedom.
Grief is such an odd thing. You never really get over losing someone you love. Some would say that time heals all wounds, but it doesn't. It had been several months since his mother's death, but Anakin still grieved. The memory had faded enough that he didn't think of it every waking moment, but at times the oddest things would remind him of Shmi. Memories that he had once held onto and treasurede now brought exquisite pain. Thinking of his mother reminded him of how she died. It reminded him of his failure. Anakin's hands clenched into fists. He thought of her being helpless as she was tortured by Tuskens. His fist pounded the window frame.
"They're animals." He mumbled. That's what he'd told Padme. That was after he had slaughtered them.
The thoughts exploded in his head and he whirled away from the window. He did the only thing he could do when he felt this way. He lashed out angrily. A remote was in the corner. He snatched it and pushed the button to activate it. He ignited his lightsaber and began to strike at the remote. He dodged and swiped. He grunted a few times. He leaped over the remote and struck it just as his door hissed open. A very sleepy Obi-Wan was staring at him questioningly. Anakin turned off his lightsaber and the remote instantly became still.
"What are you doing, Anakin?" Obi-Wan's voice was groggy.
Anakin panted, all of the feelings that had caused his to lash out were draining from him, leaving him weak and sorrowful. "I was - practicing." It was the only excuse he could think of.
"In the middle of the night?" Obi-Wan asked. Anakin nodded. Obi-Wan frowned, then yawned. "Anakin, don't let your desire to become the best deprive you of the things that are important to you. Things like sleep."
Anakin was crushed. He was in so much pain, nd Obi-Wan seemed to take every opportunity to put him down. He truly looked at Obi-Wan as a father figure, but lately he didn't even want to be around him. Anakin took a deep breath, "I'm sorry. I'll stop now."
Obi-Wan nodded and shuffled away. The door hissed closed. Anakin's lightsaber dropped from his hand. All of his strength fled his body. The grief swept over him in waves. It wrenched his heart and tied his stomach in knots. He struggled to keep the tears and sobs back. He collapsed helplessly to the floor. The room was hushed, but it was filled with inaudible screams.