Rainwater
Chapter 16: Secrets
Rating: R for sexual situations and suggestions, adult topics and language.
WitchyPrincess
Secrets
I might be the way everyone thinks I am. Don't think I don't know what you think about me. But you're wrong, it's just me; I know who I am and, believe it or not, I'm proud of me; everything I want to, I always do and I never regret it, not once have I ever, no matter what it is. No matter who it hurts.
But this, I regret.
I haven't been right since; I've lost everything that matters to me with one stone. It isn't fair. I'm used to being sad, even when I'm happy, but this is just ridiculous. I can't even pretend to smile now and I just wish one of them, at least one of them, would talk to me. But neither of them will.
I was taken for granted and I know it. Yet, all I want is for one of them to talk to me and everything would be okay. I wouldn't even bring up what I'm so upset about, I'd even apologize and that's really not my style. All I'm asking for is a little mercy - a little leeway. Forgiveness that I would, and have, given them if they would ask for it. But what do I get instead?
Nothing.
That's all I'm worth, apparently: nothing. Maybe I'll change my name to Worthless. Worthless Chestnut. That does have a certain ring to it; like a penny with a hole in it.
–Marron Chestnut
#######
Bra watched with slightly widened eyes as Pan entered the kitchen. Her face was set into a scowl, eyes angry and red, looking as though she hadn't slept in weeks. This was the third time, just this week, that Pan had stayed over the entire night - It had been going on for a month. They weren't even trying to keep it secret that they were sleeping with each other anymore, Bra thought, slightly testily as she tried not to let her disapproval show.
But Pan deserved so much more than this...this fling. She deserved someone who loved her, truly loved her. Not just someone who adored her body and had a minimal amount of respect for her. Trunks was ruining her and Bra was just sitting by, watching it happen like the worst friend in the world.
Still, she couldn't find the strength to open her mouth and say anything about it this morning. She had problems of her own to deal with, like the doorbell that wouldn't stop ringing, for one thing. And, for another, she knew that Pan simply didn't want to hear anything about it. Not just yet.
"Morning." Bra replied amiably, smiling at the younger girl.
"Advil." Pan responded, nodding her head politely in the process, as she rambled through the medicine drawer.
"Headache?"
"Major one." She nodded, pulling out the bottle and popping it open. She swallowed two of the pills, closing the bottle and heading over to the faucet for water to completely wash it down with. "So, how are you this morning?" She inquired after she'd finished, her eyes lighting as if she knew something that she wasn't about to share.
"Just fine." Bra responded, slightly edgy because she knew what Pan was teasing about.
"That doorbell just keeps on ringing." Pan supplied lightly, as if it were no big deal. Then, shrugging her shoulders, she grabbed a bottle of water and spun around.
"Hey, Pan," Bra called out before she could walk out of the kitchen.
"Yes?" She inquired, eyes still teasing.
"You and I should get together and do something this week. You know, to get away from this house for a bit." There was a pause in which Pan considered the idea, bouncing it around in her head. Then she shrugged and nodded slowly.
"All right. Just pick a day and time. I'm fine with it."
"That's great." Bra responded, smiling slightly.
"But Bra," Pan countered, her voice slightly warning.
"Yeah?"
"Answer the door first."
Bra smiled, lifting her eyebrows in a fashion that showed she didn't think it was funny. "I don't see why I should, it's just Marron."
"You're still not talking to her?"
"I've no reason to."
"She has been your best friend since the moment you two spoke the same adolescent language. You can't tell me you don't miss her, you just invited me out with you."
"She betrayed my trust in her, Pan. And what's wrong with me inviting you somewhere? I like you." She defended.
"You two need to work things out. Talk to her." She prodded, making it more of a command than a plea.
"All right," Bra conceded. "But only on one condition."
"Which is?"
"You allow me to give you some unwanted advice at some point in time."
"Done. I can't promise that I'll follow it, but I can promise that I'll at least let you butt into my life long enough to hear you out. Feel free."
"Same here. I can't say I'll make up with her, but I will talk to her." Pan lifted an unsatisfied eyebrow but Bra ignored her. "Now, get upstairs before she sees you. She'll have a field day if she does." Pan turned, starting to walk away when Bra called,
"Pan, are you in a hurry or not? Cause I can have her out of here in less than five minutes."
"Not. Take your time, I'm going to sleep; I didn't get any last night."
"Hey," Bra made a 'tutting' sound, "Way too much information."
"Sorry," Pan chuckled, stopping before she made her way out of the kitchen again. "You know what Bra?" She asked without waiting for a response. "Marron was the one person that you could share everything with. It helps to be able to share your secrets with someone instead of keeping things bottled up inside. You don't want to lose that over one stupid argument. I've never had that, you see, so I can only imagine what it feels like. Don't ruin it because of something that has to do with little old me. Let me fight my own battles."
"This has more to do with Marron's character than it does with you, Pan. But thanks for the advice. And, hey, if you're ever looking for someone to share anything with, you know I'm here, don't you?"
"Thanks, but I'll probably never take you up on that offer. I'm not the sharing kind."
"Probably is better than never. Anyway, the offer stands whenever, if ever, you want to use it."
"I'll keep that in mind. Now," Pan paused, hearing the doorbell sound again with a laugh. "Get the door. Please. It's driving Trunks insane."
Bra laughed as she made her way towards the entry hall.
#######
Marron put her hands on her hips, haughtily, as she waited patiently for someone to answer the door. They didn't want her to ring again, she thought with anger, narrowing her eyes. But she would if she had to, she wasn't going to go away. This was getting to be completely stupid. There was no need for such petty rivalry anymore.
After waiting for more than three months to set things right with her best friend in the world, she felt as if she'd waited long enough. How could Bra still be angry with her? They'd missed three holidays while fighting. Not even Ubuu, whose heart she had completely shattered, held out as long as Bra. The girl could hold a grudge when she really wanted to.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, the door swung open forcefully and Bra stood in front of her, eyes crinkled in anger.
"What do you want?" She asked dangerously, glaring.
"I came here to talk to you and I'm not leaving until you listen."
"Fine, talk." She informed, not moving back to invite Marron in. This simply wouldn't do, Marron decided, crossing her arms and resting her body weight on her right hip. Bra rolled her eyes, sighed, and moved back a little, begrudgingly inviting Marron in.
"All right, but make this quick."
"Fine, I'm sorry about what I said to you. I never meant to hurt you, you know that. And I just hope we can put the past behind us and make up."
Bra sighed, heavily, before shutting the door and walking down the entry-hall, past the den and into the kitchen. "Come on, then, sit down." She agreed, as a smile curved Marron's lips. It was about time they worked some things out.
An hour of apologies and conversation later, Bra and Marron were chatting as if there had never been anything amiss. It wasn't until then, in fact, that Bra remembered Pan was still upstairs and couldn't leave until Marron did. She decided to wrap things up quickly so that the younger girl could leave at her leisure.
"All right, Marron, we'll be right back to normal on one condition." She announced, smiling slightly.
"Which is?" Marron questioned, raising a blonde eyebrow in suspicion.
"Pan and I are going to go out to lunch or something sometime this week. You can come and if you manage to be civil with her throughout it all, friendly even, then we'll be able to work things out just fine."
Marron didn't respond for a while, leaning back in her chair and mentally playing out all the possibilities. Then, "She means a lot to you, doesn't she?"
"Yes." Bra confirmed with a nod of her head.
"Why?"
"Because, she's the closest thing I'll ever have to a sister." Bra answered evasively, thinking of Trunks and Pan's relationship. Thinking of what she could have had with Goten. Thinking, as well, of how close they were in age and how little they had gotten along when they were younger. And how most siblings did not like each other when they were young. Pan was the only true constant in Bra's life, and she couldn't afford to lose that.
She could not always count on a lot of things in Japan, but she could always count on Pan to do what she said she was going to do. That girl had the strongest determination streak. Of course, before Bra left Japan, Pan's promises to 'do something' hadn't been for Bra's benefit. They had usually been in retaliation to something Marron and Bra had done to her.
But Pan had forgiven her for past mistakes without much griping about it. Slowly, the young girl was letting Bra into her life, and if Pan could let Bra in after all they'd been through, then surely anything could happen. If Bra could become friends, true friends, with Pan, she could do anything. Pan was her hope line. The only thing keeping her strung to the idea that sometimes fairy tales did happen in real life. And, that was good for everyone.
"Think of it this way, Marron," Bra provided, a small smile on her lips. "If you and Pan can get along with one another, even if it requires some effort, then surely anything's possible. Wouldn't you love for anything in the world to be possible?"
"Sure, but that's not the real world. For instance, Ubuu will never truly forgive me and you'll never truly forget about what happened between us. That's just the way things work."
"I told you I would forget it, if you could at least try to do this, and I will. I, despite my many faults that you are such an expert at, am no liar."
"See what I mean?"
"You haven't agreed to my terms yet, so it doesn't count. And, anyway, what does Ubuu have to forgive you for?"
"Sleeping with him." Marron answered casually, as if it were an everyday occurrence.
"What?!" Bra yelled with confusion.
"I was drunk. And, anyway, he doesn't think I remember."
"You're kidding?"
"No, I'm not."
"But why would he sleep with you if you were drunk? Didn't he know you were drunk?"
"I...don't remember. Only that I threw myself at him."
"So...You don't remember sleeping with him, just the before?"
"Yeah, pretty much." Marron answered, almost sadly. "I mean, he's talking to me now but he still hasn't truly forgiven me. I can tell."
"Marron, have you asked him about what happened?" Bra asked cautiously.
"No, I told you he doesn't think I remember anything."
"You should ask him. Maybe nothing happened. Maybe you passed out or something."
"And maybe I slept with him. I'd rather not know the whole truth, Bra."
Bra sighed, thinking of Pan again, and nodding her head. "Well, at least tell me if you're willing to try and get along with Pan."
Marron paused again, biting her lip before agreeing. "Yes. I'll try, I promise I'll try."
"That's all I ask. Thank you."
"Only because it means so much to you." Marron warned as she stood up.
"Don't go into this thinking of me, Marron." Bra informed, shaking her head. "Do this for you. This could be really good for you. Pan's a wonderful person, you've no idea. And, besides, we all sort-of need each other. We could help each other out, I've always thought so."
"Yeah, yeah. I said I'd try, didn't I?"
"Yes, you did." Bra agreed, walking her to the door. "So I'll call you with the arrangements and I'll see you sometime this week."
"All right." Marron agreed as she made her way out of Capsule, while thinking about what a disaster this was going to be. There was no way she and Pan could get along, they just didn't think alike, at all, and it would never work. Besides, both their tempers in the same room had never turned out to be a good thing.
#######
"Okay, let's get a few things straight from the beginning," Pan started, looking at her plate and then back up to the two girls. "Neither of us is going to insult, offend, or disrespect the other throughout this whole meal." She eyed Marron especially before continuing. "We'll keep our not-so-constructive thoughts to ourselves. Is that clear?"
"Absolutely, Pan." Bra agreed, smiling encouragingly from one girl to the other.
"Crystal." Marron spoke at about the same time, more of an edge to her voice than Bra's.
"Good. Also, let's try and not share anything too personal. As I don't trust you Marron, not even as far as I can throw you, and I'm sure you feel the same about me."
"You're absolutely right. So, we'll keep it light."
"That doesn't mean we can't talk at all." Bra warned. "We have to talk about something."
"Everything about my personal life is off limits." Marron disagreed.
"Mine too." Pan supplied, giving Bra a serious look.
"Like there's that much to know," Marron responded automatically, cupping her hand over her mouth a second after it had come out. Pan only glared, but didn't respond, before Marron whispered an insincere, "Sorry..."
"I'm sure." Pan responded, looking down at her food again to mask her angry scowl. This was never going to work. Both of them had that thought at the exact same time, trying hard not to show their annoyance with the other. Bra could sense the tension and reacted immediately.
"For my sanity why don't the two of you just pretend to get along so we can get this over with without any bruises or wounds that will leave a permanent reminder. All right?"
They both nodded, neither one of them looking at the other as they did so, but the frowns weren't visible on their faces. Bra sighed, wondering how the hell she was supposed to get anywhere with these two. It wasn't until half-way through lunch that the first baby-steps were taken and neither of the girls sitting at the table even set it off.
"Pan," A pretty brunette called as she approached the table. She had long, wavy hair and shimmering silver eyes that glistened as if the sun were permanently shining in them. There was a crooked smile on her face as she came up to Pan's seat and placed a hand on her hip. "You forgot how to phone me?"
Pan's eyes widened as a smile spread on her own face. She cleared her throat before shaking her head and casting a nervous glance at Bra and Marron. "No, Sydney, I've been...busy."
"I'll bet." She answered sarcastically, reading the tone in Pan's voice correctly "After Brandon, I thought you'd be a lot less busy. If you know what I mean."
Pan bit her lip, trying not to glower at the girl as she contained her calm. Sydney was her friend, she had been there for her through all of Brandon's crap. They weren't exactly the 'best of' or anything, but they got along great and Pan usually enjoyed being in the young woman's company. But today, Pan just felt annoyed that Sydney wanted to know about her life. Couldn't she have just walked past and gone on with her business, as if Pan weren't there?
"So," Pan asked uneasily, changing the subject. "What are you doing here?"
"Oh," Her silver eyes absolutely danced as she spoke up, her cheeks turning a slight pink color. "Oh, I haven't told you? I met someone..." Then she paused, as if thinking it over curiously. "Well, I didn't exactly meet someone so much as I was forced into it, but..." She shrugged, a smirk conquering her lips.
Pan lifted an eyebrow, temporarily delighted for the girl. Even though Sydney had never had any trouble in the male department, still, Pan had never seen her glisten like this. "And who, may I ask, is this young man that you met?"
She giggled a little, looking down at the floor and then back up at them, casting a glance to Bra before continuing. "I, um, he isn't exactly young. And, I mean, we're not exactly dating. But he went to daddy for a business meeting and now he wants to see me for lunch to 'discuss' things." She did air quotes when she said 'discuss'. "And you know what that means, right? Because, he could easily talk to daddy about things and he asked for me. And, I mean, this is the third time we've 'discussed' things." At this, she winked wickedly at Pan, playing with her fingers.
"And?" Pan questioned, curious despite herself, a small smile prickling at her lips. "Go on, who is he?"
"Hm," Sydney teased, biting her lip as if she were thinking hard about whether or not to answer. "Just Trunks Briefs, president of Capsule Corporations, I'll have you know." She gushed finally as Pan felt all the wind sweep right out of her system.
Her face fell, her entire body freezing in position as the words slipped passed Sydney's lips and penetrated the air. Immediately, Sydney knew she had said something wrong and lifted an eyebrow, catching herself.
"Pan, what's wrong?" She asked softly, a hand reaching out to touch Pan's shoulder. Pan jerked back, a dangerous look in her eyes, finally coming to. She pushed her chair back and considered standing up but couldn't make her legs work. She coughed instead, glancing over at Bra before turning back to Sydney. The blue haired girl had a face that almost mimicked Pan's for shock.
"I'm sorry, but you said Trunks, right?"
For a moment, Sydney didn't answer, placing that tone of voice correctly. Reading Pan's look with absolute accuracy. Then, after a few seconds of contemplation, she smiled softly and started to laugh. "Yeah, Trunks. That's what I said all right." She rocked back on her feet happily, as if figuring the pieces to a jig-saw puzzle. "You grew up with him, didn't you? God, Pan, why didn't you tell me he was such a hunk?"
"Because he's a lying, disgusting, deceitful son-of-a-bitch, that's why." Pan answered hotly, trying to calm her breathing. To her surprise, a hand found her shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze and it wasn't Bra's. It was Marron.
"Listen, Sydney was it?" Marron questioned, getting into the conversation with a light smile. "Excuse my friend here, but we were all under the impression that Mr. Briefs was seeing someone. Maybe they've broken up now." She shrugged lightly, squeezing Pan's shoulder again to get her to smile. "Anyway, I wouldn't be surprised if they haven't. This wouldn't be the first time Trunks has tried something like that. Here's a bit of advice, before we leave–because we really must be getting out of here–don't trust the man as far as you can throw him. I grew up with him too, and this here," She motioned to Bra. "Is his sister. I'm sure you're well aware. Listen to us, he's not worth the trouble."
Marron stood up, her eyes glimmering with honestly and concern as she removed her hand from Pan's shoulder. "But I know you're going to cast my opinion aside the second you see his deep-blue eyes; they all do. Just think back on what I said, okay?"
Sydney was frowning by now, giving the girl a curt nod before turning away without so much as a good-bye. Marron sighed, picking up her purse and giving Bra and Pan looks. "Let's go." And without even turning around, she stormed right out of the restaurant.
#######
The first half of the ride back was completely silent, none of the girls trusting themselves to speak. Marron drove and Pan sat in the back, not missing the glances that Bra kept casting her every few seconds. Finally, when she could take it no more, Pan sighed heavily and leaned up so that she could glare at Bra.
"Don't keep looking at me like that. I haven't lost my first pet or something; I could care less who Trunks screws, okay?"
"I haven't said anything, Pan." Bra answered lightly, leaning back in her chair and turning her head away from Pan's prying eyes.
"But you were thinking it. I could read it in your eyes. I don't need your sympathy."
"Fine. I'm going to say something then, and it has nothing to do with defending or condemning my brother. Just stating simple fact in a completely unbiased nature, trust me." She paused, drawing a breath that let Pan know she didn't want to hear what Bra was about to say.
"Just don't–"
"Shut-up Pan, and listen to me." She paused for a second, to make sure Pan would comply, and then delved in. "Okay. When Trunks is trying to settle a deal he chooses the one person who he thinks he can break down the easiest and goes after them. He manipulates them and wears them down however he feels he can. That's just the way he does business. But I've never seen it go farther than that, if you know what I mean. Never farther than business. He's just a shrewd man that likes getting what he wants even if it means deceiving some innocent heart or tricking some honest people."
"Are you finished?" Pan questioned dryly, having sat back by now with a scowl on her lips.
"Just don't...don't take it personal, is all."
Pan lifted a black eyebrow dangerously, crossing her arms in indignation. "Didn't I just say that I don't care what he does with his spare time? Trust me, I don't take it personally."
"Then why do you look like you're ready to go Super Saiyan on me?" Bra snapped back, whipping her head around. "Listen, I'm not taking up for him. That's not what I'm trying to do here. I'm only trying to point out what I think is going on, that's all. But you don't have to listen to me if you don't want to."
"You love your brother a lot, don't you?" Pan asked suddenly, changing topic completely. Her perceptive brown eyes not leaving Bra's face as she answered.
"More than anything else on this Earth and you know it. But that doesn't mean I'd lie for him to you. If I'd known something like that was going on, Pan, I would have told you."
"I wasn't accusing you, Bra." She stated simply, leaning her head back against the seat.
"Then what are you saying, Pan?"
"Just that, if it's any consolation, I'd rather be related to you than Paris."
They fell into a comfortable silence once again after that, each girl lost in their own world. Something changed inside Marron then; made her realize that Pan had never had that before. Someone that was close enough to be a sister to her. Someone that understood her without words. Marron had never thought of it that way in her life; she had always assumed that Pan wasn't missing anything. Marron had always been content with Bra and never considered that, consequently, Pan was left out of the loop.
After all, Pan had the boys. All of them. Not just Trunks and Goten, but Vegita and Gohan and even Krillin. Even Marron's mother sometimes preferred Pan's company to Marron's and so, because of it, Marron had never considered what Pan was missing. She seemed to have everything and, seeing her like this, with all defenses dropped, made Marron realize how wrong she'd been. How cruel.
She pulled over to the side of the road, placing the car in park and turning around abruptly. There were tears in her eyes as she turned around to face Pan.
Both girls stared at her in silence for a minute before they both opened their mouths, but Marron beat them to it. "I'm a horrible, horrible person." She looked directly at Pan as she said this, her eyes glimmering with unshed tears. "I'm atrocious and I should be punished severely for the rest of my life for what I've done to you."
Pan rolled her eyes but didn't respond, simply looked out the window instead. "I'm no angel, you know." Pan finally offered, after a long few minutes of stretched silence in which no one even breathed loudly, turning her head back to Marron.
"Pan, I..." She caught her breath, distracted, remembering how to talk again before continuing. "At the hotel in the Carribean, I–"
"Forget it."
"No. I. You don't understand." Marron shook her head, looking from Pan to Bra. "I didn't say what I said, then, to be spiteful. Well, maybe a little. But that wasn't it, really." Marron drew in another staggering breath before continuing. "I said it because I wanted to see your reaction. I wanted to know if something was going on between you and Trunks."
"And?"
"And there was." She cleared her throat. "There is. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not the idiot I pretend to be. I see things other people don't usually. And, I'm not blind Pan, I know you were in Trunks' room when I was at Bra's earlier this week."
"How do you..."
"I was raised around fighters too, you know. I picked up on a few things."
"So you've known, all this time that we've..." Pan swallowed, a thought occurring to her. "Who else knows?"
Marron smirked, almost apologetically. "I believe, everyone knows. Well, except Goten."
"Wait, you mean...everyone? And no one's said anything?"
"They all wanted to hear it from you guys. You know, parents do that sometimes. Let their children make their own mistakes. It's called being jerks."
"Well, I don't care," Pan said after a second, resolving something in her mind. Her eyes got cold. "They can ignore it all they want. Just as long as they don't say anything, I don't care."
"Pan, you don't mean..." This was Bra, her eyes alert as she realized what Pan was saying. "You're not going to continue..?"
"I don't see why I shouldn't."
"Shrink his shirts." Marron responded cryptically, eyes glistening.
"What?" Both girls questioned in unison.
"Offer to take them to the dry cleaners, then have them shrunk. It'll drive him insane. Switch his sugar with salt, buy him smaller shoes that look exactly like his shoes, change his brand of after shave, but leave it in the same bottle as the old kind. You know, the little things.
"I dated a guy like Trunks once. A real control freak, you know. And when he cheated no me that's what I did to him. He thought he was losing his mind; he went over the edge before he figured it out." Marron started giggling before the other two, but soon, they were all holding their stomachs and gasping for breath.
"Marron," Bra admonished, her face red from laughter. "You didn't."
"Sure did." After a few more seconds, they all sobered and Marron turned back to Pan expectantly. Pan shook her head.
"No thanks. I don't want to hurt him, Marron. I'm responsible for myself, after all, and I knew what I was getting into. It wouldn't be right."
Marron eyed her critically for a long time before responding with, "How long have you been in love with him?"
Pan didn't even hesitate with her response. "Since before I knew what the feeling meant."
"Does he know?"
"Maybe." Pan shrugged, not really wanting to think on the possibility of him knowing and still treating her the way he did. She preferred to pretend that he thought she felt the same way he did. That way, when he was a jackass to her, she didn't get so offended.
"But he doesn't care. Then he's using you." She stated as if it were a revelation.
"I'm letting him use me. I don't see how there's any difference."
"How can you not? Pan, you don't deserve this."
"It's none of your business." By the snap in her tone, Marron could tell she'd hit a soft spot. She didn't press the matter.
"Fine. Sorry."
"Forget about it. And I mean it, forget about it."
"Don't worry, I'm not going to say anything."
"I wasn't worried." Pan stated viciously as Marron turned around to start up the car again. Marron ignored her snappiness, a brief smile finding her lips over what had just happened.
She and Pan had broken through years of walls in a matter of minutes. Sure, there was still some resistance there, but they were no longer enemies. They were very close to what Marron would call friends. And, she realized suddenly as she started the car and eased back onto the road, she wanted them to be. Secret sharing and all.
To be continued...