How Did it Come to This?
The long walk back to the Gryffindor dorm seemed to be a nice time to think things over about what has just occurred. Certainly it seemed that to become Draco's friend all you had to do was ask and Ginny found something strange about that.
She continued to walk in the dark silence until coming upon the fat lady picture and watching as the fat lady attempted to sing opera for the thousandth time.
"Pheonix." Ginny repeated the password over again until the fat lady heard her and with a distasteful look, let her in.
Ginny was faced with an unpleasant sight. On the couch sat a very angry looking person with red flaming hair. Harry was sitting on the chair with a blank expression and Hermoine sat looking at her nails.
Ron was the first to look at the door and start exploding.
"Ginerva Weasley where have you been for the past four hours! I was worried to death thinking that… well I don't exactly know but you can't just run off where ever you want to without anyone knowing!" His voice made her grimace while Harry and Hermoine just sat on the couch looking anywhere but at the two Weasleys.
"I…I'm sorry Ron I had to do some homework! Sheesh no reason to get all out of shape and I wasn't hungry so I went to the Library and worked on some extra stuff, no big deal. Why do you insist on treating my like a kid! I swear you act worse than mom when it comes to this protectivness." Ginny retorted back hoping to get through to her older and loved brother. Its like he can't trust her and everything she does, everywhere she goes he has to know about it.
Walking slowly up to her he embraced her in a hug with a more relaxed expression.
"I'm sorry Gin, your right. It's just… ever since your first year I … I've always had to make sure your safe, because the thought of losing you it just kills me."
She looked at her brother with a small smile, it warmed her up to know he cared so much but she needed to be let go.
"I know Ron but I'm a big girl and I can take on the world now. How am I going to be able to really live life if you're always there to live it for me?" Her question was stating the fact of what she wanted, a little freedom.
"Ok." Ron whispered in obvious hurt that he was going to have to let her handle things on her own.
"Good. I'm really tired and it's been an exhausting and long day so I am going to go to bed. Night guys."
Good nights could be heard through out the room as Ginny walked up the steps with eagerness to reach her bed.
Back in the Gryffindor common room Ron sat sulking on the couch next to Harry as everything fell silent.
"I never thought it would hurt this much." He spoke glumly.
"What would hurt?" Hermoine asked with a sympathetic look.
"Letting her go."
Meanwhile Ginny dropped off all of her stuff by her bed and gathered her pajamas. She quickly changed, brushed her teeth, washed her face, and put her inhaler by her bedside before slipping into the cool, comfortable red sheets.
She started to wonder about the next day and hoped that she could ask Draco some more questions if he was in a better mood. Then the black book that she saw him leave with came into her mind. It reminded her a lot of Tom Riddles book… but it couldn't be? That was just another question she was going to have to ask him over time.
Grabbing Luka she fell into a sleep with curious thoughts about the boy who seemed to never stop surprising her.
"Ginny stop fidgeting, honestly your acting like you need to get somewhere!" Hermoine spoke with an edge in her voice. Ginny squirmed around in her chair waiting for her friend to hurry up with buying some inked quills. To Ginny Hermoine was the slowest person she knew when it came to shopping.
"You know what Herm I'll catch up with you later I… need to go meet up with a teacher about an assignment." Ginny quickly lied as she rushed out the door and headed out of Hogsmeade, back towards the lake near the castle. She was already ten minutes late for her meeting with Draco and Hermoine seemed to want to baby sit her all day.
Ginny slowed down once she got nearer to the lake and felt a little more relaxed when she saw the blonde head of Draco surrounded by a black cloak. He was sitting a few feet away from the frigid looking lake with something in his hands. When Ginny was a few feet away she recognized the item to be the black book he had carried last night, only now he was writing in it.
"Draco?"
He turned around and quickly closed the book like he was caught doing something he shouldn't have been up to.
She walked towards him and sat down on the dead log that had once been a living plant.
"Hey Ginny. I was just looking at something." He spoke with strangeness in his voice. She didn't know it but he had had another dream last night, a worse one.
Brushing back the red strands that had escaped her ponytail she smiled at him and then looked at the half frozen lake.
"Certainly is beautiful." She gestured towards the lake to get him out of his awkwardness.
"Mmm." Was his only reply.
"You know Draco now that we're friends and civilized towards each other do you think you could tell me what you couldn't before?" This time she looked at him and watched his eyes fall to the ground.
"I don't…I can't Ginny I'm sorry." He looked up at her with his eyes giving off a glint and she could swear it looked like he was about to cry.
"You can trust me Draco, I promise." She reached over and put her hand on his.
At this Draco backed up and stood with what looked like anger starting to show on his face.
"STOP IT! JUST STOP NOW! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO, TO BE LIKE HER? I MEAN YOUR JUST LIKE HER AND… I CAN'T STAND IT! IT KILLS ME, YOUR KILLING ME GINNY!" He shouted into the air as a silent tear fell from his face, a face of grief. He couldn't stand the fact that she acted just like her with her smile, laughter, eyes, everything reminded him of her, his sister.
Ginny was surely shocked at his outburst but walked over to where he was standing and put her hands on his shoulders.
"Draco, what are you talking about? Who do I remind you of?" She stared at him waiting for an answer but he bit his tongue. He couldn't tell her, she would hate him, and he hated him.
Finally he couldn't stand it and he couldn't be with her right now. He was embarrassing himself and she was suffocating him with the past memories.
"I have to go." He lifted her arms off of him and he started to walk towards the castle with a blank expression showing.
She stood there and looked into the distant with nothing showing. She couldn't stand to see him suffer because she reminded him of someone else but she wanted to find out whom that other person was. Tears started to stain her cloak as she turned to see Draco still heading out of the clearing and back to the castle.
Ginny needed to know. She ran as fast as her feet could carry her and continued even when her breathing started to come in great gasps until she ran right into Draco, knocking him and her on the ground.
She saw no expression in his face even when he got up and she followed but blocked his way.
"Draco tell me who she was." She commanded firmly.
He just looked at her and then outburst in anger.
"MY SISTER OK! MY BLOODY SISTER! SHE…SHE'S DEAD AND…and…" His words were lost as he fell back onto the grass and cried with his hands covering his face.
Ginny sat down next to him and listened to his mumblings.
"I didn't… it was an accident…I …so sorry."
Ginny pressed her hand on his back and started to rub it while using soothing words to try and calm him down.
After an hour or so the sky started to darken and rain began to drizzle, then pour. The two stayed where they were and just listened to the rain pour over everything.
Draco lifted his face and wiped his sleeve over his eyes to clear them. He composed himself and looked as if nothing ever happened as they sat in silence for a few more moments.
"She acted just like you." Ginny lifted to her to see him facing the setting sun as she listened intently.
He gave a small chuckle at the remembrance of his younger sibling.
"Her smile, laugh, the way she acted…. you are just like her. She had your eyes which was odd because every Malfoy known had gray or blue eyes, but she had these bright, big honey-hazel eyes that always lit up the world." He smiled at the thoughts that ran through his head and watched intently as the sun shifted down with the clouds looking like they were all looking at it in wonder.
"How did she die?" Ginny asked quietly but simply, not looking at him but following his gaze to the sun.
There was silence again before he found his voice to speak.
"She was five…and I was seven. We were sitting in the living room while my mom was in the kitchen making dinner and my dad was due home from an important meeting. When he came home he dropped off his things in the living room near where I was sitting before walking off to his study. At first I thought nothing of the objects but something caught my eye. Tayler was playing on the floor with some dolls that our Grandmother had given her for her birthday-" He bit his quivering lip as more silent tears fell and he watched them mix in with the rain.
"I got up from the couch where I was reading and found this black shiny object. It was so enticing looking that I had the urge to touch it so I picked it up slowly and quietly so as not to let anyone know. Rolled it around in my hand a few times and then found a little trigger on in. I didn't know it would…" A loud sob came out of his lips and he dared not to look at Ginny.
"I thought it was toy so I pulled the trigger and it made this really loud noise… I…I found out later it had been a muggle contraption called a gun and that it was a weapon for killing. After the loud noise I looked around the room to see if I broke anything and then I saw Talyer lying like she was sleeping. I sensed something wrong though so I put the black thing down and kneeled over her and…. and."
Ginny was now crying herself as she felt the pain and hurt that Draco had been carrying wash over her. She now understood why he was always heartbroken looking.
Draco just leaned his head against her chest and cried as hard as he could. She leaned her head on this and cried as well, the story was so vivid and real to her it was like she was there.
After a few minutes Draco lifted himself up and looked at Ginny who still has silent tears falling down her freckled face.
"Ginny I killed my own sister…I'm a murderer. Now you know why I hate muggles and why I am the way I am. I'd give anything just to have her back." He looked into her eyes and searched for help, or for an answer of some kind.
"Draco…it's not your fault. You have to let it go and forgive yourself, you can't carry this all of your life." Her voice cracked but she regained control and stared back into his gray orbs.
"No."
"No what?"
"I CAN'T" He screamed so close to her ear that she felt like twenty people were yelling at her.
"WELL YOU HAVE TO!" She screamed back to try and get it through to him. He was killing himself by bearing this pain and he needed to let it go.
This time he stood up and sneered at her.
"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! YOU LIVE IN A PERFECT WORLD WITH EVERYONE WHO LOVES YOU AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HOW YOUR LIFE WILL TURN OUT BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT YOU HAVE FAMILY! WELL I DON'T! I HAVE NOTHING; ALL I HAVE IS THE PAIN OF THE FACT THAT I KILLED SOMEONE I LOVED DEARLY! DO YOU HAVE TO BEAR SUCH A PAIN THAT YOU'RE SKIN CRAWLS WHEN YOU REMEMBER? DO YOU GET HEADACHES BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT FROM THE VIVID AND REALISTIC MEMORIES IN YOUR NIGHTMARES? YOU DON'T GET IT GINNY YOU JUST DON'T!" Out of breath he ran back to the castle.
Ginny didn't know what to say or think. She felt numb and cold, ignorant and blind to that fact that what he needed was someone to love and she wanted to be that someone.
Looking over where he just was she glanced down to see the black book that she had seen him with. Hesitantly she grabbed the book and slipped it into her cloak pocket before heading back into the castle. Half of her felt like crying for the rest of her life and the other half felt like running up to Draco and cradling him in her arms and tell him that its ok, its ok to show emotion and to show that you care about someone.
As she crept back into the castle she felt another tear and wiped it away as quickly as it came down. She was not going to cry for someone who wouldn't cry for himself.
A/N: Wow, that almost made me cry! Well I promised more action and I gave more action! So tell me what you think because I want to know if I'm going in the right direction.