Rainwater
Chapter 22: The Details
Rating: R for sexual situations and suggestions, adult topics and language.
WitchyPrincess

The Details

Like a child playing in a field of butterflies, running after fireflies, or trying to catch a falling star, I fell ploy to the unspoken promise.

I believed I could hold it, grasp it within my hands and keep it with me always. I believed I could control it. Forsaking consequences and logic, defying nature and every manmade rule, I believed I could grasp fire within my hands, between my curled fingers, and not get burned. Like trying to keep your hands clasped around falling beads of sand or slippery water, I thought I could hold on without losing a drop, missing a single grain.

I was nothing but a moth to a flame in the end.

–Bra Briefs

He had been whistling the few moments before he emptied the girl's trash into one of the larger bags. The robots were broken again, trying to take over the household, and his mother had assigned him the duty of collecting the trash from the billion rooms in the ridiculously huge mansion that they called a home while she worked out the kinks.

The chore wasn't really what caught the tune in his throat, though he did think he was a little old to still get household chores–he didn't complain because, technically, he was a little old to still be living with his mother. In his defense, it was legally his house now. The problem, however, was with what was in the trash.

It was a test. And it wasn't the kind on pencil and paper with right answers and a grade. No, this was a different test entirely and the answer couldn't be misconstrued because it was the digital kind. Problem was, it could only belong to one of three people and he was fairly certain that his sister could be taken off that list as well. That left a fifty-percent chance that...

His throat clenched in panic.

Bra pulled her hands up to her face and wiped the sweat off her brow, her blue eyes shimmering with a life that Pan had not seen there before. It seemed that the stronger her body got, the stronger her sense of self got as well. Pan could sense it, feel it throughout her, just by being around Bra. It was magnificent to watch someone undergo a transformation that you had just undergone yourself. Now she knew what it was like from the outside in.

There was still an undeniable sadness about the girl, but her general outlook on life had improved greatly. That much was obvious.

Pan relaxed her body and watched as Bra's own body followed stance. She noted, with silent satisfaction, that the blue-haired girl didn't drop her defenses until she was sure that Pan wasn't able to attack her again. That meant that Bra was learning and it was all because of what Pan had taught her. A sense of pride surged through Pan at the thought, making her smile lightly at Bra while picking up her training bag and making her way out of the GR, Bra following close behind.

Both girls entered the house through the kitchen door, the conversation that they had been having about training technique dying on their lips as they took their first steps into the room. The boys–Trunks, Goten, and Ubuu–were sitting at the table, with their heads leaning towards the middle of it as if in deep conversation. All of their words, as well, died the second they heard the kitchen door open.

Each of them looked up, all five eyes connecting with each other one by one, each and every one of them experiencing some kind of awkward moment. Without a word, the three boys looked back towards each other and stood up from the table, clearing their throats nervously and mumbling their excuses.

Pan narrowed her eyes as she watched Trunks leave, clenching her fists slightly towards her sides. Neither her nor Bra said anything to each other for a few seconds, both still standing in shocked strangeness. Then Pan shifted her weight and looked over to Bra, wiping the sour expression off her face. She smiled slightly and shrugged her shoulders for the benefit of the other girl, knowing Bra would take Goten's leaving harder than Pan took Trunks'.

Because Trunks was leaving for an entirely different reason than Goten. Trunks was leaving because Pan had made him nervous with her talk of teaching him how to forgive himself and then her awkward behavior almost directly after she said it.

Pan had to admit, she had been avoiding Trunks for the last few days because of some recent events. Ever since Marron's heart to heart with the two girls, Pan had avoided Trunks with the same urgency that he was avoiding her. Needing to do anything rather than actually see his face.

But now she realized that it was all just stupid. They both needed to talk to each other because eventually they were going to have to be friends again. Goten and Bra were, more than likely, going to work out their issues and start a relationship with each other. And then Ubuu and Marron, whether they wanted to or not, were going to be connected for the rest of their lives. Now that Pan was friends with both those girls and Trunks was friends with both the boys, they would have to be able to stay in the same room at some point in time.

But it wasn't only that; it wasn't for that reason that Pan wanted them to reconcile. She had meant what she said to Trunks that day, nearly two weeks ago, when they'd had that talk. She had honestly and truly forgiven him; she understood his heartbreak and she seriously wanted to do something–anything that she could–to help him. Not because she was stupid or naive but because she loved him and there was nothing she could do about it. Her heart truly went out to him. But, then again, maybe that did make her stupid and naive.

In either case, she still wanted to help him out in any way she could. And that was the best way she could think of. Not to mention, she honestly missed him when he wasn't around and having his friendship was much better than not having anything at all.

So seeing him walk away from her as if they hadn't talked about things at all, truly bothered her. It probably would have hurt her feelings if he hadn't made an honest attempt to try and talk to her no more than three days ago and she completely blew him off. She had been too upset and nervous to see him then. But she was ready now and she thought it was time to go and tell him that. Clearly, he wasn't going to come to her again. He probably thought she'd changed her mind about the whole friendship thing but she hadn't.

Goten, on the other hand, hadn't had any communication at all with Bra. And Pan couldn't imagine being completely ignored, or completely ignoring, someone she cared so much about. Someone who hadn't even had the chance to screw up the relationship yet because it didn't exist. She understood that Bra was waiting for Goten to make the first move, that she was waiting for Goten to put up some kind of fight for her attentions, and Pan didn't really blame Bra for her maneuvers. But she also understood that her uncle didn't want to push himself into Bra's life if he wasn't what she wanted anymore, and he didn't think she wanted him anymore. How could he think she did when she always gave him the cold shoulder every time they crossed paths?

So, basically, they were in a dead-lock. Neither one of them were going to move and Pan really didn't know what she was going to do about them. She knew, though, that she had to do something. There was no reason for them to be apart when they both have finally learned what they mean to one another. It was silly and ridiculous.

Which led her to the Marron and Ubuu predicament. Seriously, at this point, it was just beyond stupid. And there was no one to blame for the entire mess. It would be easy to say everything was Marron's fault but then, you had to know Marron to understand. She wasn't the one that Pan would blame for the situation at all. Pan would blame Ubuu.

Hell, Pan had been an Ubuu. And, being an Ubuu, she knew that the boy had been aware of what Marron was capable of in relationships before he slept with her. Pan had certainly known with Trunks. And, just as Pan had with Trunks, he expected Marron to fall in love with him simply because he loved her. And when it didn't work out with her automatically, he lost his cool and became completely discouraged.

Now it seemed as though he wanted to talk to her but didn't know what to say. And she was just as lost for words as he was so there was no help in that department.

The only difference between Pan and Trunks and Marron and Ubuu was that Ubuu learned his lesson the first time whereas Pan had not. And then, of course, there was the fact that Marron actually did love Ubuu and simply hadn't told him. Which ultimately changed nothing if Ubuu felt used the way Pan had. He wouldn't be able to ever forget that. Except, Marron was pregnant and they were already tied to each other for the rest of their lives. So Pan knew that eventually Ubuu would give in.

"Are you hungry?" Bra's false happiness pulled Pan out of her world of thoughts, bringing attention to the slight rumble of Pan's stomach with the question. Pan nodded sheepishly and patted her stomach, almost protectively, butterflies filling her abdomen because of thoughts that she would rather keep to herself. Forever, if possible.

"Are you avoiding me?"

He quirked an eyebrow, his customary response to questions he thought ridiculous or had obvious answers, before smiling slightly and looking over at the other two men in the room. He was either asking for permission to break the conversation they had been having before the girl interrupted or he was asking them to leave the room. Both stared back obstinately, but neither of them moved, so the girl assumed that he was silently apologizing for her rudeness.

"Are you avoiding me?" He countered, the smile not leaving his lips. His eyes said he knew something she didn't and she wondered what it was. "Because, if I'm not mistaken, I wasn't the one who made up the bogus excuse about extra work last week. I am your boss, you know. I didn't exactly believe that one, Pan."

There was the smirk she had been waiting for. She narrowed her eyes and stepped into the room, shutting the door behind her to tell the boys, through her actions, that they were not to leave her and Trunks alone. Honestly, it was more because she was standing in his room, and she didn't want to be alone with him in his room, than it was that she didn't want to be alone with him.

"Well I'm not the one that got up and walked out of the room you had just entered without so much as a hello. Nor am I the one that turns around every time we cross paths. So, once again, are you avoiding me?" She challenged back, tone light and even. It was obvious that they weren't truly arguing, simply teasing one another.

The other two must have thought it odd because they began to glance back and forth between Pan and Trunks as if they had both grown two heads out of the blue.

"Darling, you wound me," Trunks over-exaggeratedly placed his hand over his heart, stepping back as if being shot. "I cherish every moment spent in your presence. Why would I ever avoid you?"

"Ha, ha," Pan mock laughed, unconsciously moving her hands up to hug her waist. All three sets of eyes dropped from her face to the hands encircling her abdomen, before coming back up again, curiously-strange expressions on their faces. It made her decidedly uncomfortable and she dropped her hands immediately.

"I think we need to talk," both she and Trunks offered at the same time, a more serious tone to each of their voices.

Ubuu and Goten got off their chairs, as if to leave, but Pan and Trunks stopped them before they could complete the action.

"No," Pan's eyes widened as she said it, while Trunks' hands went out in a halting motion. "We'll...uh..."

"Talk out there." Trunks pointed awkwardly to his door, his voice slightly uneven as he said it, eyes jumping from the boys to Pan before going back to the door.

"Right," Ubuu intoned, trying very hard not to roll his eyes.

"Fine." Goten shrugged a moment after, reseating himself after Ubuu did the same.

They all looked at each other for a moment longer, unspoken questions and information hanging thickly in the air between them. Finally, Pan moved towards the door and held it open for Trunks, as she was closest. This awoke his mind and his feet began to move in her direction unsurely.

It was very obvious that their conversation was going to be a strained one.

"Why are Goten and Ubuu here?" Pan shot off the second they were in a 'safe' room. They were in the game room, standing about three feet apart. The sexual tension between them was still hanging heavily in the room, like black drapes that blocked out the sun.

"We were talking." Trunks answered evasively, careful not to blink as he made the statement. She wasn't browbeating that information out of him, of that he was determined.

If they were going to talk about that subject, she was going to have to bring it up. He definitely wasn't going to be the one to say anything. Not about this, not this time.

Pan was in charge of this entire situation and she knew it. She had to know it because Trunks truly had no idea what to do or how to do it. He was losing his mind thinking about her, going half-insane just worrying what he should do and shouldn't do. What he should say and shouldn't say when he saw her.

It was easier just to avoid the questions, the topic, all together. And last week hadn't made things any easier. The only good thing that had happened last week was that Pan seemed to adapt his habit of avoiding, and began to dodge corners when she saw him. It made his job a whole lot easier to do. But then, that hadn't really been good because it left him feeling horrible about things.

That and it left him wondering why she felt the need to avoid him so avidly. Made it seem as if there was something she was hiding, which only made him suspicious and reminded him of why he had thought last week horrible in the first place: the trash.

But if it had been her 'trash' in Bra's trash can, then surely she would have told him. Or, maybe, she was telling him now. He braced himself for the possibility, wondering what it would feel like after she'd said it. Imagining what his face would look like when he heard it.

He had to make sure not to make some kind of horrible face, as if this were bad news. It wasn't really. He just felt horrible about it because, once again, it meant he'd made a mistake. And she was left to deal with the consequences of it.

And, really, there was nothing he could do about it. If Pan were–he might as well just think it, after all, she was about to tell him she was–pregnant, then he couldn't really help her. He couldn't carry the child for her and he had an inkling that pregnancy was hard on Saiyan women. At the same time, though, she didn't have to deal with this alone.

He would be there for her every step of the way. Through every single craving and every single pain or cramp. She wouldn't be able to get him away if she paid him to leave. If she ran away even, he'd find her. She was pregnant so she was stuck with him now.

And that was what was bothering him, honestly. He was taking a secret pleasure out of the fact that he had her now. He had trapped her in a relationship with him that she clearly didn't want, because of his own negligent mistakes, and he was happy about it. That made him feel completely guilty but it didn't wipe away the joy that the thought of Pan having his child brought.

She was going to have his baby.

"What are you grinning for, Trunks?" She asked, a nip of annoyance in her voice as she crossed her arms.

He straightened his face immediately, cursing inwardly because of the blush that started at his nose and spread all over his face. "Nothing." He answered shortly, shaking his head and trying to push back the grin that wanted to spread across his face. She was going to have his baby. "Was there something you had to tell me?" He prompted, finally feeling ready–anxious–to hear this news.

"No," his face dropped at her statement. "There was something I had to ask you." She continued, clarifying the situation for him.

He tried not to look confused and disappointed as he motioned for her to go on but he didn't think he achieved his goal because of the curious look she gave him.

Her brow wrinkled and she frowned at him. "What did you think I was going to say?" She asked, her voice alight as she questioned him.

"Nothing." He shook it off, pretending he didn't know what she was talking about at all. "I don't know what you want to talk about."

"Okay, then what do you want to talk about?" She avoided asking the question that she had said she wanted to ask, seemingly nervous. He couldn't imagine what she had to be nervous about, he was the one that had no idea if he was going to be a father soon or not.

The thought came unbidden and unreasonably angry. He sighed, shaking it off as he looked at her. "I just wanted to know if you were serious about that friend idea?" He noted that his tone was accusatory as he asked her but couldn't do anything about it. He realized that he probably sounded as if he were telling her that she was being a lousy friend, and that hadn't been his intention at all. He just wanted to know why she wouldn't tell him something this important.

She had known for he-didn't-know-how-long and she hadn't felt the need to tell him yet. There was no logical reason why she should keep it to herself. Unless she were scared to tell him. Or she hated him so much that she couldn't even admit it to herself.

Dende, he prayed that wasn't the case.

"Trunks," she answered after a second because she had to regain herself. His tone had taken her off guard. "Why would I say something like that if I didn't mean it?"

"That isn't an answer, Pan. An answer is 'yes' or 'no.' And that wasn't it. But honestly, I wouldn't blame you if you hated me. It's okay to just say that and leave." He countered seriously, the concern and vulnerability clear in his expression.

Her face softened, a smile invading her lips. "Of course I meant it. In fact, that's what I came to talk to you about. Your first lesson in self-forgiveness: stop blaming yourself for everything. You got me?" She walked closer to him, placing a hand on his shoulder as she said this next part, keeping her tone soft and compassionate. "I'm a big girl, Trunks, and I wouldn't say something to you that I didn't intend to follow through on. Especially not something that important. When I said that I forgave you, I meant that I forgave you. There's no need to worry over my sincerity, I promise."

Her eyes stared straight into his as she said this, making sure that he understood she meant everything that she said, without exception. They were friends, whether he wanted to accept it or not. She wasn't going to let him run scared from this scenario. She needed him to maintain his calm because she needed him. If she lost him as a friend because of his own paranoia, she didn't know what she would do.

Trunks drew in a breath, looking back at her with the same intensity, before nodding. She had a feeling that he was expecting something from her; she felt like he was expecting her to say something, to make some kind-of announcement. She didn't really know what to tell him...

Oh, yeah. She had said that she had a question for him. "Oh, and I wanted to know if you and I could do something tonight. You know, like catch a movie or," she shrugged, looking up at him for any help that he could offer.

"Go dancing?" He suggested, not knowing where in the world the thought came from. His brow furrowed as he realized that it was his own voice that he heard suggesting that, looking just as shocked as she did. Apparently, neither one of them could believe what had just happened.

This felt way too much like a date...

"Yeah," she accepted slowly. "Dancing is good. And, you know, you should invite the guys. And I'll make sure Marron and Bra come along." She smiled mischievously, a glitter in her eyes as she tried hard not to laugh. Trunks was giving her a horrified expression.

"I don't think that's such a good idea, Pan." Trunks argued, shaking his head and giving her a weary look. "I don't know if you're aware, but.."

"I'm aware. And, if we can work out our problems, they'll just have to get over it. Bra's coming if I had to tie her up and drag her there. Same with Marron. Now, where do you suggest we go?" Her tone left no room for argument and neither did her smile.

He hated to tell someone who looked that happy about an idiotic idea, that the idea was... idiotic. It just didn't seem right to burst her bubble. Besides, if he had to spend an awkward night with Pan, brooding over why she wouldn't tell him she was pregnant, then at least he'd have some amusement during it all. And he'd be able to test his theory for fact.

"How about The Talisman? I've heard a good bit about how wonderful it is and I've been meaning to try it out. But I'm not exactly the partying type of guy, you know. I think it'd be a great opportunity to try it." He supplied instead of arguing with her the way he had originally wanted to.

This could possibly be a very good thing.

Things had been a whole lot simpler when her best friend was just her best friend. When the person she dreamt about holding her didn't have a face or a name. Things were easier when she didn't know what she would be doing eight months from now; hell, she hadn't even known what she would be doing eight days from now.

Things were easier when she only had to think for herself and not concern herself with anyone else. Now it wasn't just about her, anymore. And, soon, it wouldn't even be about her at all. She didn't know what being a mother would be like but she did know that she was scared witless. And she had no one to share this fear with.

Her friends thought she deserved what she'd gotten, even though they hadn't been crude enough to say it to her face, and she really couldn't blame them. She felt the same way. She had made her own bed and now she had to lay in it. That didn't mean she had to look forward to it, however.

Still, she had to find the good in her situation or she wouldn't be able to survive it. And, she supposed, the best thing was that she would have a remnant of the only man she ever had and ever would really love, in her child. The worst part, however, was that she had to tell that man that she was pregnant.

And there was no way that he wouldn't want to be involved in his child's life. Of course, she had to chance the possibility that he would look her in the face and doubt that it was even his child. She straightened her shoulders, as she looked at herself in the mirror, and prepared herself for that possibility. He would be justified in his thought if he asked, because he had known her to be promiscuous. But on this one thing, she was sure. And, for that, she was the most thankful.

She had not slept with anyone for more than three months before Ubuu and she hadn't slept with anyone since. At least she had that to offer him, if she was going to ruin his life sometime in the near future. And it had to be the near future because if she waited any longer to tell him she was pregnant, when Pan and Bra knew, the chance of the results being disastrous could only increase.

If there was one thing that she didn't need more of in her life, it was drama.

She sighed heavily as she spun, examining herself in the mirror. She lifted her shirt, poked her stomach out, sucked it in, and then shoved the shirt back down with force. She repeated the process again from one side, then again from the other. Finally, when she'd made her way all the way back to the front, her doorbell sounded and she jumped, stopping herself from doing it again.

Forcing a smile on her face, she pulled the door open slightly and peered out. The smile dropped immediately, however, when she saw the face of the person behind the door.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, almost harshly, without stepping back from the door to let the person in.

Bra threw her body heavily on the bed, finally letting out the scream that she had been holding in nearly all day. It had been building up inside of her since the moment she and Goten's eyes met and he stood up from the table and excused himself without even taking the time to say excuse me to her. He hadn't even spoken a hello. Nothing.

He just picked himself up from the table, as if she weren't even standing there, and walked right out of the room. They all had. As if nothing was strange. As if nothing needed to be asked or answered.

He got up and left the room as if she didn't even matter.

Bra was tired of being invisible. It was time to put an end to being seen through, she decided, rolling over on her side and trying to push the memory of the blank look of his face out of her mind. He hadn't cared about her at all, she realized as her stomach swooped down into her knees. He wouldn't pause to toss her a quarter if she was dying of starvation from lack of money.

He didn't realize she existed. And she had thought that she could make that man fall in love with her! How? He hadn't skipped a beat when she threw him out of her life. He hadn't asked to talk to her, be with her, or anything of the sort. He hadn't even ever apologized to her. He didn't even want to be friends with her.

She got it now: she didn't even register on his radar. She was not important. And that was okay, she didn't need him. Not anymore.

It wasn't until she had that thought that she realized she was sniffing. Her nose was stuffy. Was she getting sick? Her throat felt constricted and her chest was heaving. Maybe she had a fever?

Then she tasted the salty wetness that was sliding down her cheeks and realized that she wasn't sick at all. She was crying. She was actually crying. Real tears.

She hopped off the bed, not believing that this was actually happening, and ran to the mirror. She had to see this for herself. She could feel it, but she had to see it. She had to really believe it. She ran right up to the mirror, stopping only right before her face brushed with the glass and, sure enough, there were the crystal clear tears. They were sliding down her face in rapid succession. Her face was turning red.

Everything that she had been holding inside for years, everything that had built up and been pent up inside her, came pouring out of her in that moment. Every scathing glance from someone else, every time someone hurt her or belittled her, every time people shoved her off as if she wasn't important, came rushing back. Every party she had ever gone to and been encouraged to pretend to be vapid and peppy, every time she had ever jokingly told someone she was stupid to just to fit in, every single degree of pain and frustration that she had felt came seeping out.

The going-away party that her best friend missed, her first love spent making out with his girlfriend, and her brother spent sulking about a young girl that she hadn't even like–because she had been jealous of Pan at the time. Her father's good-bye. Her mother's casual dismissals. Her brother's over-protective, neglecting attitude. Her father's disappointment. The way she could never meet her mother's expectations. The downward spiral of her brother after she left him...

Everything spiraled and circled her, falling out of her soul like rainwater dripping from the morning leaves of sleepy trees. All her emotions pulled out of her body and dripped down, cleansing the part of her that had weighed her down for so long.

The dam was broken. It no longer existed; she was free.

"Bra," she heard a voice call her back to the world of the present, a hand touching her shoulder gently. She hadn't even been aware that someone was in her room. "Why are you crying and laughing at the same time?"

"What are you doing here?" Marron repeated, more hostile this time, when the person didn't respond.

"I'm not allowed to visit a friend?" Paris asked innocently as she pushed Marron out of the way and showed herself into the small apartment. "I mean, we haven't seen each other in a while."

"You and Goten broke up," Marron decided to take the direct approach, eyeing the girl suspiciously. "I was his friend, yours by association. You are no longer associated, therefore, we are no longer friends." She clarified, as if the girl were daft.

"So are you asking me to get out?" Paris questioned flatly, eyeing Marron a little closer, the smile that had been on her face disappearing. "Because I can leave if that's what you want." She sugar-coated, even though her tone was still dangerous.

There was an unspoken challenge in Paris' voice as she asked the question, secretly daring Marron to tell her to leave. There would be consequences, Marron knew, if she did.

But, honestly, Marron was tired of playing this pointless game. She was tired of being trapped in unwritten rules of civility and the necessity to share gossip. She had nothing to say to Paris. She wasn't about to tell the girl what was going on with Goten or Bra, and she really wasn't going to tell Paris that she was pregnant.

Marron just wanted the girl to go away and, if that was how she felt, then she should be able to say so. She shouldn't be trapped in some unyielding circle that didn't allow her to breathe when she wanted to draw in a breath. There was no need to play this game anymore.

She wasn't that person anymore.

"Actually, yes Paris, I was on my way out." She told the woman. It wasn't a complete lie, she had been thinking about going out. And, besides, there was no need to be totally rude just because she no longer wanted to humor the girl with false civility.

"Oh, well then, you won't mind if I accompany you. Right?"

"A-" Marron had opened her mouth to say that it was actually kind-of personal, but stopped herself before she even uttered the first word. Why should she have to explain herself to this girl. They weren't friends. They weren't even associates anymore. She had no reason to make excuses to Paris. If anyone should be explaining anything, it should be Paris.

The phone rang in time enough to cover the awkward second that Marron took contemplating this truth. Marron only rolled her eyes and turned around, walking to pick it up. Clicking the on button, she turned back to Paris and shook her head. "Why are you here?" She asked before saying a nice, "Hello?"

Paris made no move to reply as Marron talked on the phone, bursting out with the occasional, "Well, why would I?" and "I don't think so."

Paris quirked a curious eyebrow as she made out the phrases, "Tonight?" and "The Talisman?" Before hearing her ex's name mentioned. Smiling slowly, she turned around and headed towards Marron's door. She had all she wanted.

"You know what Mar, I just remembered that I have a nail appointment in twenty minutes. I must get going. Luv ya, babe." And she slammed the door nastily behind her.

To be continued...