Rainwater
Chapter 26: Confessions
Rating: R for sexual situations and suggestions, adult topics and language.
WitchyPrincess

Confessions

Confession, they say, is good for the soul. Throw your hands up, tilt your head back, and shout all that you know to the world. For everyone to hear. For everyone to see and judge.

They can't say anything to you that you haven't already said of yourself. Every thought they have of you, you've already had. So, what's the point in keeping it all bottled up inside?

Why keep it secret, stored discreetly, as if you're ashamed of what you are? What you know and what you've done? I say, don't be afraid. Gather your courage and give it all you've got. Tell every soul in sight.

Because it's time. Now's the place. And I won't be scared anymore; it's my world for the taking.

–Marron Chestnut

She was late. She was late and if she didn't make it to this lunch on time she was going to be even later for something else, and that was really what was bothering her. Well, that and the fact that, suddenly, she didn't even want to go. She didn't want to sit in a room with her family and friends...and Trunks, whom she wasn't sure what to classify as, and pretend not to be uncomfortable.

Her parents were going to be there, after all. Her father was going to be sitting in the same room as Trunks and herself, while everyone tried their hardest to get along. It had been, of course, Bulma's suggestion and Bulma's solution to everyone's problems. But Pan didn't think it would work out so well.

Still, it didn't matter what she thought. The only thing that mattered was that she showed up on time. And she wouldn't even be able to do that if she couldn't get out of her lunch on time, so she really was in a bit of a predicament.

To be honest, Pan didn't even know why she had set up this lunch in the first place. Except that she thought it might have had something to do with hearing Brandon's voice coming out of the other end of Trunks' cell phone. It made her think about everything she'd left behind when Trunks came back into her life, and she knew with certainty, after that, that she didn't want to be that girl. The one who gave up everything, forgot everything, and pushed everyone else aside simply because she had fallen in love. She had always despised women who stopped having lives because they had boyfriends...or significant others...or whatever the hell Trunks was to her...and she didn't want to be one of those girls now.

So she had done the logical thing and called up her former friend to reconcile what she had lost. Then, however, she hadn't expected to meet the girl after just talking to Trunks. She hadn't expected to be late because something Trunks had said had completely thrown her off balance and made her mood uneasy. Neither had she expected the flutter of jealousy that surged up her stomach and marched all the way to her throat the second she saw Sydney's face.

This girl had dated Trunks while they were...when they had been...

But Sydney had not known that, Pan firmly reminded herself as she placed a wide, forced, smile onto her lips. Sydney had not known and Pan could not blame her because of something that wasn't her fault. Besides, it had been established, though unofficially, that Trunks had not been dating Sydney, he had been working a business deal the easiest way he knew how.

That didn't stop Pan's eyes from narrowing slightly as she shook the brunette's hand and took a seat at the table.

"I thought it was about time you decided to talk to me again, Pan," Sydney smirked leaning back into her chair with a satisfied grin. "You could have just told me he was your boyfriend and none of this would have ever happened."

"He's not my boyfriend," Pan snapped, for a reason unknown to her.

Sydney smirked. "No? Well, perhaps not, but you're in love with him all the same."

"What's it matter to you?" Pan questioned defensively, looking decidedly uncomfortable.

"Nothing, really, I was just stating what I knew. There's no need to get your panties in a twist, sweetheart, I'm not going to fight you for him. He was a jackass anyway. The second he got the deal it was like: Sydney who?" She waved her hand in a dismissive gesture, an evilly playful glint lighting her eyes as she said the next part, "I'm betting he hasn't forgotten your name, though."

"What makes you say so?" Pan questioned, some of the bite leaving her stance and tone.

"You wouldn't be here otherwise, now would you? And, be honest Pan, you would have hated me for life if you had lost him over me."

Pan sighed deeply, the annoyance showing on her face. "I'm not as shallow as all that, Sid." Even as she said it, she could feel the cold, gripping fingers of anger and hate coil around her heart at the scenario. She would not only have hated Sydney, she would have killed her. It was lucky for the girl that it hadn't happened that way.

"Whatever, Pan. Listen," Sydney smiled darkly, resting her arm on the table and leaning across it slightly. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I knew that you were upset when you found out that I was seeing Trunks, but that didn't stop me and it should have. I should have at least asked you what was wrong. I mean, don't get me wrong, I knew what was bothering you. I'm not stupid. But I should have had the decency, as your friend, to step aside when I figured it out. And I didn't.

"I'm sorry. It was just that, to be honest, he was so damn handsome. And rich and famous. I felt like royalty when I was around him and I wasn't about to give it up because someone else was jealous of me. I didn't know you loved him then. I figured that out when you went months without speaking to me. That doesn't excuse my actions, I know, and I shouldn't try and justify them. But I just want you to fully understand it before you cast me aside again.

"You know him, Pan. You know he's impossible to say no to. Try and put yourself in my position for a second and tell me what you would have done."

Pan thought on it for a second, biting her lips because of the sense the girl was making and the war it was raging on her emotions, before looking into her silver eyes with a slight smile. "For Trunks?" Sydney nodded. "If the roles were switched, honestly, I'd be sitting across from you right now, making the same apology. And you're right, if he were more interested in you than he is in me, I probably wouldn't have called you up at all. I'm that stupidly in love with him.

"Now, if I don't leave soon I'm going to be late for dinner. With his family and mine, of course. And it'll cost me some blood if I'm late to dinner at his mother's house. So, honestly Sid, it was nice to get a chance to talk to you again and straighten this thing out, but I really don't want to be late."

They both stood, Sydney nodding as she rose. "Do you accept my apology then?" She questioned nervously, smiling hesitantly.

"Of course. If I didn't forgive you, I'd be a hypocrite. I'm a lot of things, Sid, but that's not one of them. ...I hope..." They laughed for a second before hugging briefly. As Pan began to walk away, Sydney called,

"I want one of the first invitations to the wedding." And jolted Pan's memory back to her and Trunks' earlier conversation. Pan forced a chuckle as she waved her friend off, trying to ignore the uneasy way her stomach rumbled.

"Fashionably late" was a term Pan was sure Bulma would not appreciate. Still, it couldn't be helped. She had needed to talk with Sydney, it was one of those things that was better done sooner than later. Besides, she felt loads better after having finally gotten a resolution to a pressing problem in her life. Now all she had to do was figure out what exactly she was doing with Trunks and all would be well.

Almost all, she thought sullenly, remembering the look that had contorted her father's face when he had said Trunks' name. She had a feeling that dinner was not going to go over well at all. But that was risk she would have to take and today was the day to do it. Trunks had seemed excited about this dinner, after all, and Pan knew it was mostly because she had agreed to accompany him...as his date.

Now, she had backed out of even that, so the last thing she wanted to do was make a spectacle of herself by showing up late. There was nothing that she could do about that now though, except push her shoulders back and smile when she entered the room. She had a feeling that life was about to get really interesting as she pushed the french doors that led to the sitting room, where she knew they would all be, open. And, taking a look inside, she realized that the feeling was not going to let her down. In any way, shape, or fashion.

Sucking in a breath, she silently willed her legs not to buckle underneath her. But...what the hell was he doing here?

Trunks tried to force down the brilliant grin that spread across his face the second he saw Pan, but was unable to control the emotion. She had come. He was afraid she wouldn't come after their phone conversation. He had shaken her up and he knew that, but he couldn't take back what he said. Especially since he had meant every single word of it.

The smile dropped, however, as soon as he got a good look at her.

Her face was carefully expressionless but he could practically feel her heart pounding in her chest as she stared from him to Brandon Cofler with a slightly pale tint to her skin. Something was wrong but he didn't know what it was. There was a tensed moment of silence, one in which everyone looked from Pan to Trunks to Brandon in confusion, before Pan broke it with a smile.

"Hello everybody, I'm sorry I'm late." Pausing as her eyes made their way back to Brandon, she seemed to take a moment to think something over. When she had decided, she reinforced her smile and addressed the man Trunks hadn't even known that she knew by his name. "Brandon, it's good to see you again."

Her tone was cordial and detached, making Trunks sure that something was going on that he had no idea about. And clearly it was something bad, judging from the disgusted red-tint her father's face was taking on as he seemed to realize whatever it was that Trunks didn't know.

"That's no problem dear," his mother intervened smoothly from the couch she was sitting at, standing abruptly to sweep into damage control. "Why don't we eat, huh?"

It wasn't a suggestion that, in this atmosphere, any of them were going to ignore.

Dinner was strained, at best. Most everyone ate with their heads down, eyes staring intently at their food and nothing else. Goten cast furtive glances at Bra every now and then and she glanced back, both of them seeming to communicate something with their eyes. Neither one of them dared to look at either Marron or Ubuu for the obvious reasons. Marron herself avoided Ubuu's eyes as fervently as he avoided hers and everyone seemed to be trying hard not to stare at Trunks and Pan.

"So," Trunks finally started, trying to break the ice. "How do you and Brandon know each other, Pan?" He thought he was asking a casual, light question but was proved wrong when Videl dropped her fork and Goten cleared his throat loudly.

Pan shifted in her seat, dropping her own eyes for a second, before looking back up at Trunks–who was across the table from her–with forced calm. "I used to work for him," she answered as Brandon supplied,

"We used to work together."

Glancing at each other, she tried again. "He was my boss," while Brandon voiced,

"We were friends."

Pan shot a glare in his direction, he was next to Trunks, before turning back to Trunks' blue eyed stare. The expression on her face spoke wonders for his curiosity. She obviously did not want to talk about it. Not here or anywhere else for that matter.

It was then that Marron decided to switch the attention from Pan to herself. "I'm nearly three months pregnant." She announced calmly, still scooping mashed potatoes into her mouth as she said the words. Her mother stiffened at her side after hearing the news, her entire countenance becoming more guarded. Her father choked on his beef but forced himself not to say anything as he tried to remember how to breathe.

"I'm the father." Ubuu volunteered, following Marron's example and finishing off his rice. His shoulders tensed and it was clear that he was waiting for Krillin to explode, but the moment never came.

Juuhanchigou dropped her chopsticks and cast a dark look in Ubuu's direction before scooting her chair back and getting up from the table. Krillin chuckled nervously, looking from his wife to his child before shaking his head, avoiding Ubuu's gaze, and following after the irate blonde.

"Well," Bulma started, sweat-dropping and wanting desperately to save her dinner from being ruined. Bra chose that moment to interrupt, clearing her throat and casting a bright smile on her face.

"Goten and I are dating." She informed chirpily, throwing a wink in Goten's direction. He was sitting next to Vegita and nearly lost his entire dinner on the table when she made the announcement.

Vegita shifted in his chair menacingly, drawing back his shoulders to showcase his importance and cast a murderous stare at Goten.

"Uh..." Goten chimed in. "We...uh..."

Vegita growled.

Goten's face reddened and his speech stopped entirely.

"We plan on getting married at the beginning of next year, for fair warning." Bra continued, still smiling with oblivious joy.

"That's wonderful honey," Bulma intoned, afraid of the turn her dinner party was taking. "That means we've got a wedding to plan. I'm so glad." By then, at the self reminder of a wedding, she was nearly glowing with excitement and had already forgotten Marron's earlier announcement and the uproar it had caused.

Pan was almost swallowing her food whole, she was eating it so fast. Trunks hadn't taken his eyes off her throughout the entire ordeal and she could practically hear him telling her that she should declare that they were together.

But were they together? And, even if they were, did she want everyone at this table to know? Did she want her father to know? Bra and Marron had surprised everyone enough for all of them; Pan had not even known that Goten was with Bra until just now, and there was no need to do any more shocking tonight.

Trunks obviously did not agree because even as she had the thought, she heard him clear his throat very obviously and loudly. Everyone's attention had shifted to them and Marron's eyes rose curiously.

"Don't you think you should go talk to your mother?" Pan questioned instead, looking right back into Marron's blue eyes.

"No." The girl state succinctly, shaking her head. "She needs a day to calm down first. I'll talk to her tomorrow."

"We will talk to her tomorrow." Ubuu interjected with a firm correction, eyes hard as he silently relayed that this wasn't to be negotiated.

"Then don't you think that the two of you should talk tonight?" Pan prodded, wanting desperately for Trunks to stop staring at her beneath his lashes. Marron didn't respond and Ubuu didn't know what to say so the table went back to dinner-plate scrapping silence.

"So, how have things been, Pan?" Brandon asked awkwardly, after a few minutes, not knowing what else to do.

She sucked on her teeth, slanting her eyes at him before looking back to her plate, but did not respond for the span of ten heartbeats. Finally, "Fine," in a clipped, icy tone. "And how's Mai?"

She spat the name with distaste, brown eyes shining in hatred.

"Isn't that your wife?" Trunks chose to enter the conversation as well, remembering that this was a client he was supposed to be winning over and realizing that Pan was not going to acknowledge him.

"Uh..." Brandon rambled off, looking guiltily from Trunks to Pan and back again.

"She's about to have a baby, isn't she? Boy or girl?" Trunks continued on, not noticing or not caring about the stiffness that his line of questions caused.

"A boy," Brandon offered reluctantly. "She's eight months along."

"That's wonderful. You must be excited. I know I can't wait to have children of my own," He cast another sidelong glance at Pan with that sentence and forced himself not to smirk when she shifted uncomfortably again.

If she wasn't going to tell everyone, he was at least going to make her as uncomfortable as possible.

"I only want one child, two at the most," Bra delivered, looking at Goten for his opinion. "I couldn't see myself chasing after a house full of Sa-" her sentence died for a second, realizing that she had a houseguest, before she picked back up with, "Satan's advocates. You know how hyper toddlers can be," with a nervous laugh.

Pan's stomach twisted bitterly at the words, her eyes drifting from Bra to Goten, then Ubuu and Marron's barely-showing belly, before going over to Trunks. Her heart skipped and, before she could stop herself, she had pushed her chair back and was getting up from the table.

"Excuse me," she mumbled softly, her voice nearly cracking as she turned around.

"Pan," Brandon called before Trunks could get any words out. "Could I have a word?" He looked incredibly guilty but Pan didn't know that, she only nodded and continued walking out of the room, not bothering to look back at his face.

She was fighting back tears.

Stepping calmly into the entrance room, Pan slide the door shut and took a seat in the plush chair, resting her head against the back with tired grace. "What is it?"

"If I had known you were going to be here, I wouldn't have come," he filled in softly, looking down at her with sincerity in his green eyes–eyes that were so dull now they almost looked gray.

"Yeah well," she started bitterly, but he cut her off.

"Let me finish, please?" He asked, drawing back his shoulders in a soldier's stance. "If I had known I wouldn't have come but I'm glad I didn't know.

"I just want you to know that what happened between us had nothing to do with you. God, if I could take it back I would. I was an idiot. I was a blind idiot who didn't see what he had until it was already too late. And now I know that it's too late to make things right again but if you would just consider forgiving me I,"

"Brandon, you're married for heaven's sake." Pan nearly roared, sitting up in her chair. "You aren't seriously suggesting what I think you are?"

"I didn't think you would." He told her defensively. "I was only seeing where I stood in the scheme of things. Pan, I've always loved you, you know that. Losing you was the biggest mistake of my life."

"You didn't love me, Brandon. You don't know what love is." She told him with a hard edge to her tone, standing up to signify that she had nothing else to say to him.

"You should leave." She announced, pointing to the door.

"But Trunks–"

"Probably heard everything you just said to me and won't hesitate to snap your neck in half if he sees your face." Her eyes told him what her words didn't because she felt that all the Saiyan men were listening, not just Trunks, and she didn't want her father to hear of anything going on between her and Trunks.

The second Brandon was out of the door, Trunks was at her side. He didn't say anything, but she could feel the tension in him as easy as if it were her own. He took her elbow in his hand and led her to the door without a word, holding it open for her and following her out.

"Do you think they can hear us from here?" He whispered after walked around to the side of the house that was farthest away from where everyone was sitting. She shook her head no and looked up into his stormy blue eyes, hesitant to know what he was thinking.

"Good." He crossed his arms and made a show of towering over her. "Who the hell was that?" His voice was menacing enough for her to force down the laugh that wanted to erupt at his ridiculous question.

She couldn't stop the glib comment, however. "What do you mean, who was that? You invited him for dinner."

"Don't toy with me, Pan, you know what I'm asking."

"What do they think you're doing right now?" She asked cautiously.

"Giving my client a hospitable goodbye." He told her shortly. "Bra kept them amused enough to not eavesdrop in your conversation."

"She just left you alone, is that it?"

"Stop changing the subject." He commanded, annoyed.

"I'm not. I'm just trying to make sure the bases are covered."

"Why do we have to even 'cover bases'? Why haven't we just told them?"

"I," She stopped, unable to provide an answer, and crossed her own arms. "Now who's changing the subject?"

"Only because I'm still waiting for an answer to my first question."

"You already have an answer to your first question. That was Brandon Cofler. My old boss and ex-boyfriend. He cheated with Mai, another one of his employees, and, according to you they are married and expecting a child in a month. Though, it appears they are not very happy together. At least, Brandon can't be happy. But then, he's always been a jerk."

"Then why on earth did you date him?" Trunks roared, looking angrier by the second.

"I don't know, why was I with you? You were no better in the beginning."

"Did you love him, Pan?" His voice was light, a near whisper, as he asked. She could both see and hear the distress in it.

"I thought so at the time, Trunks. But I was wrong, okay? You're the only person I've ever loved and you damn well know it."

His hands somehow found their way to her waist, his lips pressing the juncture between her jaw bone and her ear. Her body molded with his, her own arms wrapping around his neck. He kissed his way down her neck before backing her towards the wall and letting his hands slide up her silk shirt and run sensuous circles across her midriff.

She moaned lightly, throwing her head back and letting it bang lightly against the brick of the wall before she dove her fingers into his hair. He pushed against her, rubbing his body against hers, before brining his lips up to meet hers.

The kiss was slow, promising, as he explored her mouth with his tongue, memorizing the warm recesses of her. He broke it slowly, pulling his head back and resting his forehead against her own to catch his breath.

"I'm sorry." He said after a second of pause. "I just..."

She dipped her body so that her pelvis brushed against his and caused his thoughts to halt abruptly where they were. Her lips swept across his temple and trailed down his face before suffocating his lips. She pulled him closer as they kissed, her body telling his that she had not minded at all.

"Pan," he pleaded in between kisses. "Really, we should," her leg curved around his and forced a closer intimacy, making him groan instead of finish his statement.

His fingers were unbuttoning her blouse as if they controlled themselves, and he marveled at both himself and her when he caught sight of her bra-clad chest. He scooped his head down anyway, though, and kissed her collarbone gently. His tongue swept across the top of her chest before he scattered kisses along the line of the fabric.

She was wearing a black, lace bra, much to his pleasure. Instead of pushing the material off of her skin as well, he placed his lips over the fabric that covered her nipple and nipped it lightly, eliciting a seductive cry of pleasure from her as he preceded to suck the area. She threw her body into him full-force, gripping his hair instead of running her fingers through it.

After a moment of unhinged passion, he drew back from her, catching his breath again.

"We should talk." He managed as she struggled to catch her own breath.

"I don't want to–"

"Why did you get so upset in there? Was it because of Brandon and his wife? Or was it something else?" He left the implication hanging in the air as his fingers worked on re-buttoning her shirt for her.

"You shouldn't ask questions when you already know the answer, Trunks."

"You can't be mad at the world, Pan," he started, kissing her collarbone again before he re-did the last few buttons. "Simply because of circumstance."

"I'm not mad at the whole world." She countered defensively.

"Oh no?" He asked teasingly. "Just Marron because she is pregnant and Bra because she doesn't want to be pregnant. And probably Mai too, whom you don't even know. It won't stop after that."

"You shouldn't want to marry me, Trunks." She told him finally, pushing his body away from hers and wrapping her arms around herself defensively.

"I love you, Pan."

"But you want children, not just one child or two, and I can't give you that."

"Pan," he forced himself not to roll his eyes. "I only want children with you. Whether that's one or seven, I don't care, as long as their ours. I don't want anyone but you."

"You only say that now because you can't think about the future, I ,"

"I don't want a future without you in it. If you don't feel the same, baby, there's nothing much I can do about that. But don't try and make it seem like you're not good enough for me. I only want you and I'm not letting you go that easily, either."

"Trunks it's not fair for me to,"

"I'm not letting you go." He told her firmly. "I did that once and it nearly killed me. Whether you want me or not, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. You might as well get used to it."

"I don't want you to go anywhere." She told him, sure for the first time all night.

"Good, because I want to get married sometime before January." His eyes were glittering. "After all, if we're going to keep up with them, children-wise, we're going to need a couple of months head start."

He tensed in anticipation of what she would say, not knowing what he would do if she went all scared again. She paused but she didn't turn away from him. That was a good sign at least.

"I don't know what to say," she told him honestly, after a few beats.

He grinned. "Say you'll marry me."

"I guess I could do that."

He stole her lips again and didn't let them go until both of them were nearly choking for need of oxygen.

Fin.

A/N: There's an epilogue on it's way. Thank you for sticking with me through this!

(As I stated in an author's note on my info page, I don't have the internet right now--this is an aol free trail thingy, I was so desperate to be back online--so I couldn't update the with the last chapter before this. The story's been complete for a while though. I'm sorry you had to wait so long. The only reason why I'm even updating it now, on dial-up, is because I had to check my college admissions status. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been so desperate to be online even.) I'll be back when I can to update with the epilogue. Thanks again for reviewing and reading this! I love you guys so much!!