Saeka: Guys, I fell deeply in love with this idea while drifting off in Classe française… I just had to put it down in my word processor. Just had to. So, I don't know if this has been done before, but if it has, puh, bite me. I don't care. Whatever person had this idea, well, its mine now thankyouverymcuh.
Jesus, I hope someone likes this story. Please.
Summary: (AU) When her life fell to pieces around her, she had nowhere else to go. Distraught, frustrated, and even more terrifyinglyalone, she sold everything she owned and moved toParis to find a better life. Yet, instead, shefound the dark man with darkly brooding reddish-brown eyes... beautiful enough to break her heart.And while he cruelly shattered her heart into pieces,he would know the true meaning of sufferingwhen he lost her. (HieiBotan) Sound cliche? Well, it isn't. Ah, l'amour…
Disclaimer Crud: Listen people, heed what I say when I tell you pigs will never fly. And I will never own YYH.
The Road of Innocents
They say the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
Prologue: Shadows of the Past
Orleans, FranceThe TGV glided smoothly into the train station somewhat late. Glancing absently at his watch, Hiei slung his pack over his should and waited for the doors to open. The train was headed north, to Paris, and Hiei was going with it. He had intended to wait out the summer months and tourists that poured into France's Capitol in the thousands his home in Bordeaux, but something had changed that. It was the same something that had caused him to give up his job as an actor and pick up the strings of a different life. It happened to be the same something that had taken his world, calmly turned it upside down, and shaken the hell out of it. It happened to be the same something who made him think twice about his life, about he thoughts and feelings.
Botan.
He had left her in his apartment in Paris—tears running down her cheeks and her breathing harsh and labored. I can't believe how you can walk away from this, from what we had, Hiei!
I can. And I just did.
She let out a sob, and reached for her purse, rummaging around in it for something. "You know, I thought I love you. And I thought you loved me."
Guess you were wrong.
Her lower lip trembled, and a piece of hair fell downward over her eyes. "Yeah. I guess I was." She pulled out a folded piece of paper. "This is for you, I don't—" she swallowed loudly, "you don't have to read it, but… oh God…" Biting her lip against the assault of more tears, she quickly set the piece of paper on the side table next to the entrance and hurried out.
He had stared at the door for what seemed like hours—wondering why he felt so empty. It had been so easy before: he found someone who intrigued him, wooed her, and then set her out on her ear. It had become a cycle, amusing even, to watch the women beg and plead to take her back. But with Botan… with Botan it was always different. When she left, it made him feel different inside, and didn't offer the cool amount of satisfaction as it did before.
The doors flew open, and a voice called out in French that the train would be departing to Dijon with further stops to Paris in five minutes. As a few people filled out, Hiei stood calmly to the side, catching the bits and pieces of a group of young girl's conversation beside him.
"…It is him…"
"…oh, il est si beau…"
"YOU'RE SO SEXY, HIEI!!" One of the girls yelled out loud.
Frowning, he moved towards the doors, shifting his pack as he waited for the last of the passengers to get off the train. It irritated him that he could be recognized in a place like Orleans. His reputation was a nuisance, people standing following him around with cameras and asking for his autograph. Now the whole train would know he was on it. He sighed, and pushed his dark sunglasses higher up on his nose, anticipating the buzzing group of people that would constantly surround him on the three-hour train ride to Paris. He had shoved his hair into a baseball cap, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, hoping that no one would notice him.
It was safe to say that that idea was shot and blown to hell.
There was a time when he wouldn't have minded to be recognized—when it amused him to see girls fawn all over him. That idea stopped ever since he saw a blue-haired woman climbing out of a taxicab on the Rue de Innocents. She had looked so lost, so fragile, that he wanted to wrap her into his arms and kiss her senseless. She had smiled absently to the driver, paid him, and looked out unto the square she had just arrived in. There was a fountain in the center, a large a beautifully architectured piece, its water cascading from a miniature Arc d'Triomphe into the pool below. High school students lounged around the bottom, flicked the butts of their cigarettes into sidewalk. A few tall elms grew around the square, the teenagers taking refuge in its shade. The crowded streets were filled with people in their liason, grabbing something to eat before the long commute home. And she had stood there, her pack shouldered artfully across her back, her wide eyes assessing the laughter and jokes of the people around her. She saw him, sitting in one of the chairs in the outdoor café's that littered the streets of Paris, and focused in on how he stared at her. He looked back at her: his face solemn and revealing nothing. She smiled brilliantly at him, nodding her head slightly before disappearing into a hotel.
He knew that he had to have her. And look where it got me. I can't sleep for wanting her. I can't think without being reminded of the way she acted, the way she looked when I touched her, kissed her…
"You're pack, monsieur?"
The voice was a welcome escape from Hiei's brooding thoughts. "Oui, merci," He said, nodding at the steward who was leaning out of the newly opened door. He handed him his knapsack before pulling himself aboard and finding his seat. Glancing at his ticket, he filed into seat N-56, which was next to a seemingly pleasant looking old woman.
"Bonjour!" She said amiably, eyeing Hiei as he stowed his satchel underneath his seat.
"Bonjour," He muttered before settling back into his seat. The woman peered over horn-rimmed spectacles at him, shrugged, and went back to reading her novel.
"Je ne sais pas…" she murmured to herself as she turned the page.
Ignoring the woman's comment, Hiei glanced over out the window as a lady spoke over the intercom in cool French, calling the last of the passengers onboard, saying that they will depart for Dijon momentarily. The gentle hills of Southern France were a beautiful sight in any weather—especially as it was today, the sun beaming down from a sky of an eerie, glowing blue in the emerald perfection of the land. A lone cow danced around in the fields, its bell ringing solemnly out in the distance.
As the train began to move and pick up speed along the magnets in the track, Hiei slid the picture of Botan out from his jeans pocket, looked at it, reminding himself again why he was doing this. The picture was of her; her lovely blue hair in a wild disarray around her head, her amethyst eyes sparkling and smoldering with too many emotions to name, a slight smile playing on her lips. She looked surprised, as if she had turned around and noticed someone sticking a camera in her face and commanding her to smile. The initial outcome had been arresting: her smile promising everything and revealing nothing.
"She is beautiful, nes pas?"
Taken aback at the sudden unexpected voice, Hiei looked down to see the woman looking at the photograph, a warm smile on her lips. "Yes," Hiei answered, his own mouth kicking up at the corner. "That she is."
"Is she your wife?"
Surprisingly, the notion dug deep into Hiei. My wife. Oh, Christ…His expression hardening, he slid the photo back into his pocket and crossed his arms over his chest. "No, Madame, she isn't."
"Your sister, then?"
"Madame, I do believe that you are overstepping some line."
"A friend?"
Amazing. She just didn't know when to stop. Hiei frowned, then spoke sharply in French, "Madame, it is none of your business to the woman's relation to me. It'd be wise for you to shut up."
The woman laughed. "Spoken like a true Parisian, nes pas? You think I am nosy, budging into your personal affairs. You must loosen up, mon cher. Things go on a slightly different pace outside of your city. And you will never win her back the way you're acting right now."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"You are chasing after something, mon cher. And by the looks of it, I'd guess it was the woman in the picture. She has wounded you deeply. You went here to lick your wounds. You must of have left her." She gazed at Hiei, the suggestion of a grin around her mouth. "And right now you're thinking of what a dumb ass you were for doing it. She means a lot to you, ça va? You're going back to her to see if she'll take you back."
Hiei looked down at her and raised an eyebrow. "You're assuming much, Madame."
She leaned over and patted his knee. "Ah, but I do not assume, mon cher. I know. Now, why don't you tell me why you were the biggest imbecile ever and let her walk away."
"And why should I?" Hiei shot back, a little too defensive.
The woman shrugged. "You are hurting in a huge way, mon cher. I can see it as easily as I see that sky is blue. It would be good for you to let it out. It is a long train ride, non? And," she grinned up at him, "I love romantic stories. And something tells me yours will be très très bien."
It was eerie how she knew exactly how he felt. When he looked at the woman, her brown eyes bright with intelligence, he knew that she would listen if he told her about Botan. A part of Hiei wanted to hold back that part of his life. It was personal. Yet… there was something about the woman that made him trust her. She was right. Whether or not he wanted to admit it, he was hurting, in a big way. It was knew for him—all the emotions that surged through him whenever he thought of that blue-haired girl with her shinning amethyst eyes. The twisting, sharp feeling in the pit of his stomach when he thought about the way her tears had ran down her cheeks when he told her to get out his life. What the hell, he thought absently. It's not as if I'll ever see her again. Letting his eyes drift back over to stare at the seat in front of him, it was a while before he moved again. The woman looked calmly at him, her eyes warm and understanding.
"Does she love you?" she asked softly.
Hiei's eyes hardened suddenly, and he reached into his pocket again and pulled out a wrinkled and creased piece of paper. He handed it over to the woman, saying simply, "Read it."
The woman looked quizzically at him for a moment before looking down to the folded paper. Carefully, as if afraid it would shatter into pieces, she unfolded it.
Hiei,
I think I'm too much of a coward to say this to you myself. That's why I'm writing this in a letter. I figure the pen isn't going to reject me if I tell it what I'm about to tell you. I know I promised you that there were no strings attached—that once you wanted me gone I'd leave. I know I told you that I wouldn't try to change your mind or let me hang around you, and I know I told you that there would be no emotions involved. I know how you hate being caged in.
I realized something this morning as I watched the sunrise crawl across your shoulder. I love you. I think I've loved you ever since I saw you sitting at that café, the wind tousling your dark hair, those dark sunglasses concealing your beautiful crimson eyes. I had come from nothing—my bastard fiancé leaving me for some foreign model, my co-worker framing me, my land lady evicting my from my cheap-ass apartment. I thought my life was over. I packed my things, and headed for Paris. And then I saw you. So cool and aloof… so distant. And somehow, I knew everything would be fine.
I guess what I'm saying is that I hope you love me. Because I've loved you more than I've ever loved anything in my life. And I've never been so happy.
--Botan
It was a while before the woman looked up from the letter. There were tears shining in her eyes.
"Well?" Hiei asked after a moment of silence.
Suddenly, the woman punched his shoulder. Hard. Hiei grimaced and grabbed it, shooting a glance down at the woman. "You bastard," she said in a mock-serious tone. "She loved you the most of all. How could you walk away from that?"
He glanced down before looking back up to the woman. "I'm still figuring it out."
Her eyes softened suddenly, and she carefully folded the letter and set it back in his lap. "Maybe I can help you, mon cher. Why don't you tell me about it?"
He sighed, and pushed his sunglasses up on his head. "I don't know who you are, but I'm pretty sure you know who I am."
She hit his knee playfully. "Of course I knew who you were, cherie. I am old, oui, but not dumb. You are Hiei, nes pas? The whole train is in a frenzy about the movie star on the train. I am Colette, by the way."
Hiei took a breath, looking out the window. Why the hell am I telling her this? As soon as he asked the question, an answer floated from the back of his mind. Because I need someone to talk to. "It wasn't difficult for me to find women. There were always there, always waiting. It came as a game to me: I'd pick out a woman, woo her, and then dump her out on her ass. As sadistic as it sounds, it amounted me pleasure to see her whine to take me back. And then she came along. She was beautiful, charming, and so pure it stole my breath away. Yet, I believed it was all an act; something to make the ending result a sweet one after a long chase. Then I caught her—and I realized it wasn't an act. She was innocent—like newly fallen snow." He laughed harshly. "It… It scared me. Everything I knew had been lies and she… she was different. I told her to get the hell out of my life the next morning."
"A very idiot thing to do, monsieur. Most people spend a lifetime looking for the type of love you have," Colette said softly.
He shot a look down to her, as if to say, duh. "You want more?"
"I want the whole thing, cherie."
He closed his eyes. It would be interesting to talk of her for the first time to another person. Who am I kidding. It's going to be scaring as hell. "I guess I should start at the beginning."
She nodded. "As good a place as ever."
Hiei exhaled again, and set his head back against the headrest. "I'll never forget the color the sky was the day I saw her for the first time. It was the burning, autumn blue color the sky gets when the leaves turn to fire…"
Saeka: Yeah, like I said, this is hardly the beginning. That was just a teaser to get things started . I wanted to see if anyone liked it.
(--cough--)
Hey, if it sucks and no one reviews, it sucks, and I can always delete it and pretend I never wrote it. But… I really like this idea… I love France, saying things in French, and well, I actually had fun writing this prologue… Everyone loves Botan-chan and Hiei-kun, nes pas?
Did you like it? Or Should I cremate it?
Tell me, reader-chan. Alas, I cannot read minds.
I'll dig deeper in the next chapter. That is, if anyone likes it. So, in conclusion, give me at least two reviews and that'll make my day.
--Saeka
P.S.: I dunno if anyone wants French translations… you can pretty much guess at what they're saying… but if you want me too, feh, by all means tell me. Again, I am not telekinetic. (--sighs--) Even though that would be so kickin….