My Unreachable Idol
He moved with a gracefulness that somehow was not of this planet. The way he would hold his head was something beautiful and proud, yet sorrowful. That shinning silver hair that seemed to radiate like the moonlight upon the cold darkness, filling that darkness with light. The mako kissed eyes that burned with amusement and intelligence, perhaps an extremely dangerous combination. He moved like an angel of death, dressed in black with his masamume always at his side.
And I always felt like an idiot in his presence. Like I would never be good enough. My unreachable idol. The great Sephiroth.
That's how I feel about now. Same as I did back then. An idiot for believing that I could stand here and be the one to defeat him. I've come all this way, and I'm still hesitating. Unsure of where I should go, what I should do, the consequences of failure. It would be so much easier if I could just get passed the memory of what he once was. Of what he could have been. Of what he was to me.
It's not everyday you find out that you must kill the man you based your whole existence around. Who you wanted to be just like. Who you wanted to become. Who for some reason thought you were worthy to be his advisary. Kill him to save the planet. Kill him to stop the madness. Kill him because it's right. Is it really right? Is murder, even in the name of salvation right?
What's more is I don't even know if I can do this. I was a puppet, and Sephiroth played my strings. I was never good enough for S. O. L. D. I. E. R. I had to delude myself into thinking that I was someone else. Someone else who actually had the talent. Someone who died five years ago, and for some reason I lived. If it wasn't for Tifa I would still be that mindless shell, lost in a world of false memories.
The worst part of all this, is knowing I killed the person who had that unwavering hope. Aerith. She should be here now. She should be here, alive and smiling. But she's not. I watched him fall from the sky and slaughter her and didn't do a damn thing! I couldn't move...I just watched. Watched like the damn puppet as my tarnished idol killed...killed my hope.
Even now approaching this final battle I wonder if I could have done something to protect her. I know why I fight him now, for her. But...what if it's not enough? It has to be enough. I've struggled to find my way here. To find who I am. And I know that as hard as I tried to become him, I never will be.
I see him, standing there waiting for me at the end of the mako stream. I see him waiting with his sword drawn and that wicked smile upon his face. He looks pleased. Somehow, I know this is what he wanted. As if the whole point of this battle, the whole point of everything was in truth, a battle just between the two of us. I think this is the point. I think it was always supposed to be this way. The only way either of us would be defeated, is by each other's hands. Somehow, anything less is not right. This is why this has become my battle. Why this has become my story. But it will not be my ending.
My unreachable idol. The great Sephiroth.
I'm not hesitating any longer. For everything you had taught me. For everything you once were. For everything you have become and the people you have taken from me.
I will defeat you.
The End