A/N: Welcome to my first A) Holiday themed and B) parody fic. Wow... I feel so special! Anyway, yes. This is slightly, somewhat... a lot different than The Santa Clause, but yeah. It's still the original idea. Hope ya' have fun!

Disclaimer: Do not own any characters mentioned in Final Fantasy VII, Squaresoft does, nor do I own The Santas Clause, I'm not sure who does though. )Shrugs(

Rating: Better safe then sorry, I could think of now better description words for some of the dialogue, but it should do.

A/N: Also, I rewound the movie to re-watch certain parts, such as the part after the parents presented and Neal, the mom (still don't know what her name), and Scott are called into the office. Yeah, some reference to that. But... yeah... just had to say that....

Ch. 1 Get in the spirit

The Christmas party was a huge success, even the famous general of the ShinRa army made an appearance. Well, maybe it wasn't that big of a hit, but somewhat of a hit. Everyone wore Santa hats as President ShinRa made his long and boring speech to all of his employees, making special emphasis on Scarlet's new breasts. Many laughed at his joke, but as usual, the general just stood blank faced. But, a Santa hat was now on his head, what a drastic change! Anyway, as the party tolled on, the Almighty General Sephiroth walked briskly out, ignoring the shouts of protest from his stalker, Scarlet (0.o how surprising!).

Soon, Sephy was driving down the road, there was absolutely no traffic, which was rather odd at this time of year, and answering his cell phone. Wouldn't ya' know it? It was his good friend Zack, the sub-general of the ShinRa army!

"Hi, Seph!" he cried cheerily, obviously bouncing up and down on the couch. "How was the party?"

"Alright." he replied, somewhat aggravated by Zack's eagerness that forced him out of the door and to said Christmas party.

"Oh." Zack said, disappointed. "Well... did you get drunk?" Sephy had to glare at the phone.

"You're not that big of an idiot, are you Zachary?" Sephy was somewhat surprised at his wording, but he could loosen up slightly around Zack.

"Of course I am, Seph! You already knew that!" Zack could be heard opening and then closing a door. Then there was a crash. "FUCK!" he screamed

"Zack?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow, as though it would somehow help (it does in the world of me, though).

"I've locked myself outside..." Sephy rolled his eyes. "... and I'm in my underwear... you better hurry home, Seph. It's fucking freezing out here!"

"I'll be there in a moment." he quickly nodded to himself, and shut off the phone. Suddenly, as if by magic, there was a load of traffic, and it seemed to take hours to get to Zack. But, he could call his friend back and listen to him complain, all while laughing evilly, or he could take the open lane to the right. Hmm... so hard of choices. So, he decided to wait it out, believing he could make it just a Zack froze into an ice scupture.

(1 hour later...)

A green jeep pulled up to the house that Seph and Zack shared the rent with, and a tall figure walked out, silver hair billowing slightly behind him. Soon, this wonderful man was greeted by another man wearing only checkered boxers. Of course a smirk crossed along the tall man's normally stoic features, I mean... come one. Wouldn't you laugh at your friend if they were stuck outside for a few hours with only boxers. Heh... that would be hilarious. The shorter man pouted, and quickly followed as his superior opened the door.

"Sorry I'm late," he said, after letting Zack in and closing the door. (Wow, he sounds like a dog when put that way). "There was a lot of traffic."

"Okay." Zack said, shrugging off icicles from the recent freezing rain. "Wanna share a bowl of sugar now?" Sephy stared at him.

"No." he said, glowering slightly.

"How 'bout having some shots of brown liquor?" Sephiroth stared blankly at him. "Un... play with your shotguns?... wait... we don't have shotguns... how 'bout field dressing a cat!?" Sephy continued to stare blankly at his friend-slash-ally-thing. "Oh, I know! Could you read me a book?!" Sephy quirked an eyebrow. "WHAT?!"

"Aren't you a bit old for that?" he pointed out, actually pointing to the book in his hands.

"Not for Hollywood Wives!" the silver-haired general continued to stare. "Fine," he mumbled, throwing the book over his shoulder, where it hit some for of breakable object (which shattered). "You can read my the Night Before Christmas." He then pulled a book up from the couch and held it out to Sephy.

"Zack..." Sephiroth sighed, rubbing his eyes.

"Aww.... come on, Seph! It's Christmas Eve, God knows you need the Christmas spirit!" the general looked to the floor, sighing in defeat.

"Fine..." he no more than mumbled.

"YAY!" Zack cried, jumping up and down. "But you have to make turkey first... and then burn it!" Sephy ran a hand through his hair.

"Fine..." anything to get Zack off of his back.

"Did you get anyone in the office a Christmas present yet?" Sephy, whom had somehow placed his head in his hands, jerked his hands away and glared at him.

"What are you planning?" he said, taking a step forward to look thoughrouly into Zack's mind.

"To be Santa!" he cried, causing the general to fall back onto the floor.

"What. Are . You. Talking. About." he said, very, very, very, slowly.

"It's easy! All we have to do, is give presents to every ShinRa employee in Midgar!" Sephiroth just simply stared.

"You must be more insane than me." he said, nodding his head to assure himself that something was obviously wrong.

"But first! We make TURKEY!!!!" Zack now jumped toward the kitchen like a rabbit.

"What is going on here," Sephy asked himself, standing upright and brushing himself off. He had a horribly feeling about this, and didn't want it to be true.

A/N: TT.TT I feel so bad for Sephy, but I have to do it! It came to me! Hehehe. As you can somewhat tell, Zack is taking the form of Charlie... somewhat. I'll figure out the other parts as the chappies progress... I gots an idear too! Well...review if you would like to see more. REVIEW-NESS are whatthis story needs to SURVIVE!!!!