Disclaimer: I do not claim to own Harry Potter or his universe in any way, shape, or form. Nor do I claim to own Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Buffy the Vampire slayer, and anything else that appears in here, basically.

A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews.

Legolas: appears and looks around What is this place? Where am I?

Frontsky: By golly, if it isn't Legolas Legolas!

Legolas: Yes, I am Legolas. Who might you be?

Frontsky: It is I, your rabid fangirl, reporting for duty, sir!

Legolas: eyes widening as he backs away F-fangirl?

Frontsky: Oh, yes, Leggy. I'm here to serve you...or should you serve ME?! glomp glomp glomp

Legolas: O.O! Eep! glomped three times X.x

Fontsky: Yes, glompage! glomp glomp glomp Oh, such pretty hair! I shall make a hair doll!

Kyle: poofing in Oh, my god! You killed Legolas! You bastard!

Millions of fangirls: forming a mob with pitchforks and burning torches She killed Legolas?! FOR LEGGY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 attack

News Anchor: We're sorry to interrupt this program, but urgent news has broken in: do not kill the author. thank you.

Fangirls: stop Aww, man...mob scatters, throwing down pitchforks and torches along the way

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Set upon a plane, rowboat, bicycle, automobile, train, and finally a thoroughbred pony named, "Chappie", Maria had made it to Hogwarts as the first and only transfer student that anyone could truly remember, as for some reason all other sparkly-haired transfer students were immediately forgotten.

Once there she was sorted into the prestigious house of Gryffindor, where she made great friends with Harry Potter and Hermione Granger, even though she was smarter than the bushy-haired know-it-all.

Maria was just that kind of person, with her shiny strawberry blonde hair that hung down past her ankles, sparkly nose, perfect smile, and curvaceous body, who stood out in a crowd and did a damn fine job of it too. She excelled in her subjects and even helped teach some of them, as some professors simply needed the help what with running off all the time to try and save the day or get a better cup of Earl Grey. Either way, Maria was the "it" girl of the year, and everyone knew it.; especially Dobby the not-so-house elf who had to get his little grimy mitts on her wonderful invisibility cloak which not only outshone that Harry Potter's in a taste test, but was also a luscious lavender color with indigo trim around the edges giving it a nice cozy and yet quit stylish look.

Dobby entered the girl's dormitory to find it quite empty and set about in his tireless hunt for the Red October, also known as Maria's Magical Cloak of Sugary Goodness. He rifled through her chest a bit, and then moved onto her drawers.

"Nothing," Dobby said. "There's nothing here!" He searched again and again until he realized that the cloak was hanging quite invisibly along with an array of lovely brassieres on the left pole of Maria's four-poster. He snatched the cloak off the pole, and couldn't help but become distracted by how shiny it was.

"What are you doing in here?" Dobby spun around with the shiny, shiny, oh how shiny cloak in his hands to see none other than Maria herself standing in the doorway of the room.

"It's that witch," Dobby said. "She's here for her precious. She can't have it, no. I needs it; we needs it."

Maria raised her eyebrow. "And just what, exactly, do you need my ultra expensive, ultra shiny, so-rare-it's-the-only-one-of-its-kind invisibility cloak for, hmm?"

Dobby just looked at Maria, then gave a smile. "That's a secret," he replied smugly before poofing away.