Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this, or anything Harry Potter-ish

Death is a blessing

Chapter 3

The three professors watched as Madame Pomfrey levitated the unconscious body back onto the bed, she eyed them all with disdain

"Well now you have terrified my patient into fainting perhaps you should leave" even Dumbledore acknowledge that was no more to be done tonight, and turned to leave the other followed him but a shriek from the nurse bought them back to the bed. She had finally managed to relieve Harry of his shirt and was now staring at his arms in disbelief. The others to came over, from Harry's shoulders down to the old bandages around his forearms Harry was covered in horizontal cuts, Madame Pomfrey picked up Harry's left arm and turned it over, she unwrapped the bandage, the deep lacerations that marked where his vains should have been had begun to heal. Dumbledore unwrapped Harry's other arm to reveal similar wounds. He looked at the nurse

"Is there any way that this was not self-inflicted?" Madame Pomfrey was still taking in the horror and didn't respond,

"Poppy, did Harry do this?" at mention of her name Madame Pomfrey looked up and met the old headmasters eyes

"No, well yes someone else could of but it's not likely, under a week ago this boy tried to take his life" she had gone quite pale, but she was not the only one, Minerva had also lost her colour. Snape looked well he hadn't changed much, he didn't seem too surprised.

"Headmaster, I believe given what I saw tonight I could offer an explanation as to why Mr. Potter would want to take such drastic action" Dumbledore and McGonagall looked up.

"If you have any explanation I would gladly like to hear it" Snape nodded, he gave them an account of what he had seen when he had first apparated into the bedroom, he told them what Rita saw when she was spying (but left out that she was spying as a beetle on the window sill). When he had finished both Madame Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall looked like they were having trouble keeping their dinner down, Dumbledore was certainly shaken.

"Why didn't he tell us?"

"I think Albus that is a question only he can answer, and it does not look like he will be doing that tonight." Dumbledore nodded, no was to more to be gained tonight. He turned and left, followed quickly by the other two professors in the corridor he turned to them

"We must inform the order, while he short stay at the Dursley's may have boosted his protection magic, he can not go back there. We will need to find him somewhere for the summer." McGonagall nodded

"Might I suggest Molly and Arthur, they have taken him in before" Dumbeldore thought about this;

"Yes but in light of what has transpired, I am not sure Harry will want to go, most of the Weasley's are in the order it may make him uncomfortable. Nonetheless we should inform them and Remus as well" Snape snarled at the mention of the werewolf,

"This is not the time for personal prejudice Severus, he is a friend of Harry's and the boy will need as many as he can get I will send invitations for them to meets us here tomorrow"

~

Harry woke the next morning, and was surprised to find he could stretch he put his arms above his head and stretched his back, his memory of the night before came back to him, and his stomach did a back flip. He noticed for the first time that he was not wearing his shirt; in fact he had no top on at all. He groaned, studying the fresh white bandages on his arms, this was going to be a long day. Madame Pomfrey came around the corner carrying a bowl she looked at him

"You are very thin. When was the last time you had a meal" Harry, thought about this

"When did school break up?"

"About two weeks ago" Harry nodded

"Then I had my last meal about two weeks ago" Madame Pomfrey looked mortified. She put down the bowl and came back with a goblet; it had a sweet smelling liquid in it

"Drink this" she ordered. Harry raised it to his lips and drank it down, it tasted nice and sent a warm sensation into his stomach. He handed her the empty goblet.

"What was that?"

"It's a stomach sealing potion, it will let you keep your food down, here eat this. Then you have a meeting with the headmaster. You will be back down here in three hours so I can give you something else to eat" Harry nodded glumly; he had no idea what to say to the headmaster. He thought he was going to be in trouble. He looked at Madame Pomfrey;

"Do you know why Professor Snape bought me here?" Her cold eyes melted

"Part of it, he told us what he had seen"

"Then please can I have a shower?" she looked puzzled at him, so he tried to explain further "Please… I need to wash him off me" he was unaware that he was clawing at his skin; she looked at him with pity.

"Of course you can but eat that first" Harry obeyed eating quickly before heading off to the shower's he took some clean clothes from his trunk and dumped them on the bench. He turned the water on as hot as he could stand and stood under the jet, trying desperately to feel clean again. He was there for almost an hour before he admitted defeat. He got out, dried himself and got dressed; he decided against his school robes, he wore a pair of grey trousers and a white long sleeved shirt. His hair still wouldn't behave but at least the exercise had washed off all the dried blood, now he was left with just the wounds. He left the shower block and found Professor Snape waiting for him

"Come on we're late." Harry nodded, he walked with a little more pace today, he was still in pain but it was nowhere near as bad as it had been the night before. Snape noticed that change in the boy's demeanour, his head was down, his vision firmly on the floor, it reminded Snape of the walk prisoners had when they were being lead to the Dementors kiss. They reached the gargoyle that hid the entrance to the headmaster's office.

"Cookies and Cream" the staircase appeared and they went up. They were the last to arrive, the headmaster greeted them;

"Ah Severus, Harry do sit down" Harry looked up for the first time, the room was quite full, aside's himself, Snape and the headmaster there was Mr. and Mrs. Weasley with all the boys except Ron, Professor McGonagall and Remus Lupin. Harry glared at the headmaster

"What's going on?" Harry was already edging for the door; he bumped into Snape who was behind him. Harry whirled round and tried to bolt out of the room, the potions professor caught him. He weighs nothing Severus thought as he hoisted the boy into the air with one arm. The twins were mildly amused at this and tried to wipe the smirk off their face as Harry was placed without fuss in one of the empty chairs.

"Harry please calm down" the magical restraints, prevent him from standing, but not from fighting them. Snape took a goblet from the desk and pushed it under Harry's nose.

"Here drink this" he said quietly, Harry didn't look convinced Snape rolled his eyes, "It's a claming draught" Harry nodded and settled down, the restraints around his right arm were removed so he could take the goblet. Harry felt more in control, the panic was held at bay by the potion. Even Fred and George had stopped smirking and were looking concerned. The restraints were removed and once again Harry curled into a ball. Dumbledore spoke.

"Thank you for coming, I know you are wondering why you have been bought here" Harry was rocking back and forth looking out over the top of his knees. Most of the room was not listening to the headmaster but staring at this odd behaviour. Dumbledore continued anyway

"As you might have guessed the cause of this meeting is Harry. I was hoping that he would feel up to explaining that actual specifics himself" Harry stopped rocking. And looked panicked He wants me to tell people?! Is he mad?  Harry shook his head; he didn't trust himself to speak. Dumbledore looked at him with kind eyes

"Harry I know this is difficult, but in the long term, it will help you if you can tell us." Harry curled up tighter. Molly could take no more she got up and went to hug him. Harry bolted from the chair as she touched him he looked petrified, he figured the office door was now locked, and he was trapped with all these people who were staring at him

"Harry?" Remus spoke concern etched into his face, Harry looked at him, but his focus seemed to be on the wall behind Remus rather then on him.

"Harry its ok your safe here, look no one is going to hurt you, to us what happened" Harry stood in the middle of the room feeling very exposed he wrapped his arms round his chest and swallowed hard.

"Nothing, nothing happened."

"If that was true you wouldn't be acting like this" Harry tried again

"Nothing new"

"So something did happen to you" Harry shrugged

"Got hit" sentences were proving to be problematic at best.

"Just hit?" a different voice, Harry didn't look up to see who it was

"Whipped" Harry didn't want to look up, he thought they would be smirking, the

twins at least. But there was no noise and it was one of the twins who spoke next

"Who by?"

"Uncle Vernon" there was immediate uproar

"I'll kill him" Harry looked to see that the twins we're heading for the door

"Not if I get there first" Bill was up as well

"Who does he think he is? Bloody muggle!" the room exploded into noise, Harry moved away while everyone's attention was on the headmaster, as he thought the door was locked, he looked around there was a small dark gap between two bookcases he squeezed into it and curled up with his back against the wall, he couldn't stop the tears falling this time, and the noise was unbearable he rocked himself backwards and forwards shushing at himself. After a while the noise stopped, there was a large amount of shuffling, they were looking for him. It was Percy who saw him first.

"Hey Harry why don't you get out of there?" Harry dried his eyes; there was no point in staying they would all come over in a minute. He rose and shuffled back out. They were all looking at him, Arthur cleared his throat

"I suspect that there is something you forgot to tell us Harry?" Harry nodded but then looked around the room,

"Please, I cant" he looked at Snape "you tell them" Snape looked at Dumbledore,

"Headmaster it seems to me that trying to coax anymore out of Mr Potter might have a negative effect. Might I suggest legilimens?" Harry froze if they did that he would not be able to hide any of it. He never could defend with occlumency at the best of times. To his dismay the headmaster nodded. Snape walked over to Harry producing his wand Harry was backed against the wall he had nowhere to run. Snap touched his wand to his temple producing a silver stream. Harry felt his mind being invaded, he gave up and let his potions teacher wonder through his memories until he came to the earliest attack Harry was nine, he had just finished clearing the breakfast things away, his aunt and cousin were going shopping and had left early in the morning. Harry reached up to put a plate away, he slipped and dropped it, the sound of breaking china bought his uncle into the kitchen

"Stupid clumsy good for nothing boy!" his hissed as he marched over to Harry. Vernon struck Harry across the face and slammed his head into the worktop. Harry was then picked up and thrown onto the floor, he was winded and seeing stars, he tried to apologise but his uncle wasn't have it. Vernon was on top of him; he turned Harry onto his front and ripped his trousers down

"I'll teach you some respect wretch!" he spanked Harry's exposed ass before freeing himself. Harry cried out as his uncle entered him forcefully. The entire attack took less then an hour but to the nine you old boy it had felt like years. His uncle got off him Harry was crying

"Grow up!" he spat and as he left shouted "and clear up that mess" back in Dumbledore's office the tears rolled down his face as the memory was extracted, but it didn't stop. Harry relieved every attack feeling them again and again. They came to the beginning of the summer, Hedwig being locked up, and Harry pleading with her not to come back, Vernon struck Harry across the face and his glasses flew off. After Vernon had left Harry had reached for the glasses, he pricked his hand on a blade in the garage. He drew his hand away quickly and looked at the blood, he was fascinated by it. A noise outside caught his attention and he quickly scooped up his glasses and put them on. He pocketed the blade. Harry was worried he tried occlumency again but Snape was more powerful. Harry fell over in the office; they were all looking at him. Snape reached down and picked him up

"Now is not the time to catch up on that" he whispered, Harry nodded

"Please stop I don't want everyone to know" Harry's voice was week, but several people heard it,

"We need to know Harry please if you could tell us" the voice was from behind Snape, Harry shook his head.

"I can't" Snape reconnected with his mind, it was that evening before his uncle came in to the room, Harry was starving, he took the blade out of his pocket caressing it, he rolled up his sleeve and bought the blade down across his arm, the blood flowed and pooled on the bed, Harry played with it his hunger shorted by the pain. As the locks went on the door the blade was hidden as was the wound. His uncle came in, Snape watched as the boy was thrown to the bed, gagged and whipped. He watched the suicide attempt and the punishment for it and then they were back to the present. Snape broke the contact, he was looking more grim then usual, he walked over to the headmaster's desk, Harry noticed the pensive for the first time, he saw Snape putting his memories in it.

"Professor Dumbledore, can I wait outside? I don't need to see this I was there." Dumbledore was hesitant,

"Neither do I headmaster" Snape looked up, Dumbledore nodded

"Very well Severus please escort Harry out side and wait" Harry was relived but looked round the room, he saw the twins staring at him

"Don't look" he implored them but was then dragged out of the room as they reached the door Dumbledore spoke again

"On second thoughts Severus take Harry to the infirmary, Poppy needs to see him again" Severus gave a curt nod and left with Harry. Once the door had shut Dumbledore cast a viewing charm so that they could all see into the pensive together, they watched in mutual horror.