This chapter is also probably not what you're expecting either. This chapter is something to help me make my writer's block go away. And I wrote a little real snippet in so ffnet won't get on my case about "author-note taking up whole chapter" and whatnot. Psh.
Let me say this again to those who just skip authors' notes and go on to the chapter (and yes, I am guilty of this too – oh, the horror):
THIS IS NOT A REAL CHAPTER. IF YOU ARE EXPECTING A REAL CHAPTER, THEN YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T KNOW ME VERY WELL. WITH LUCK, THE REAL CHAPTER WILL BE POSTED IN A FEW DAYS.
Okay. I'm done now.
Outtake Number One: What are friends for?
Joey waited until the teacher bent down to rummage through a file cabinet. Catching Tea's glare, he mouthed, "Friends don't let friends fail!"
The teacher cursed softly, and she opened another file cabinet and fumbled through that one.
Tea took that opportunity to draw back a tightening fist and SLAM it into Joey's nose. "(A word that starts with the letter "f" in capital letters) OFF, WHEELER!!!"
Clutching at his bloodied nose, Joey fell back into his seat with wide amber eyes, looking more like an abandoned puppy than he'd ever admit.
Hastily, the teacher turned her laugh into a hacking cough.
And from across the room, Tristan sniggered.
Outtake Number Two: Kakashi (If you haven't read/seen Naruto, then you oughta skip this one)
Seto Kaiba, to Yugi's right, was naturally quite finished. His icy blue eyes flashed as they perused through the pages of a book titled "Come Come Paradise." He flipped another page, seemingly absorbed in its contents.
Tea, who is on a PMS roll here, noticed the title from a few seats behind Kaiba. Her eyes widened in surprise but she quickly recovered herself. Her nostrils flared and her blue eyes raged to a bright red fury. Her chair crashed into the desk behind her as she stood, her hair lifted by a non-existent wind. Electricity clawed through the air in angry white streaks as she made her way down the aisle to stop abruptly in front of the desk of Seto Kaiba. He, on the other hand, did not give any indication that he acknowledged her existence. In fact, his eyes had never strayed from the book.
"SETO KAIBA, YOU PERV!!! HOW DARE YOU READ THOSE THINGS!!! HOW DARE YOU READ THEM IN CLASS??? HOW DARE YOU READ THEM WITHIN TWO FEET OF INNOCENT LITTLE YUGI???"
Tea fumed, waiting for a reply.
From behind them, Joey whimpered. His nose looked oddly swollen, but this might have been due to the large amounts of shredded scantron paper stuffed up his nostrils to stem the flow of blood.
Seto Kaiba, still immersed in reading his "book," merely pointed one finger at Yugi, or rather, Yami, who was reading a book as well. A book that read, "Come Come Paradise" on the cover...
Tea fainted.
Outtake Number Three: Pop goes the Weasel!
Yugi nearly wailed in despair, as his pencil rolled away from him. He still had eight problems left and the clock was ticking ever faster.
Yugi's eyes widened at the sheer horror of it all.
The pencil came to its stop under the desk of none other than the great Seto Kaiba.
There was no denying it. Yugi was just a touch too short to reach that far. His only option was to stand up, walk over, and kneel at the feet of Seto Kaiba to retrieve his pencil. He lamented ever finishing his test and was about to push his chair back to stand when the unthinkable happened.
"Wingardium Leviosa!" boldly proclaimed a red-headed boy, lifting a wooden stick into the air.
The pencil lifted, as though by magic, and paused in the air in front of Yugi.
Yugi smiled hesitantly, eyeing the stranger's baggy black robes, and carefully plucked the pencil from midair. "Thank you." He told the red-haired kid. And immediately went back to his test.
Ronald Weasley nodded, produced a tattered shoe from the front of his robes, and tapped the heel of it twice with two fingers.
And he disappeared into fat air.
Outtake Number Four: Sensibility
There was no denying it. Yugi was just a touch too short to reach that far. His only option was to stand up, walk over, and kneel at the feet of Seto Kaiba to retrieve his pencil. He lamented ever finishing his test and was about to push his chair back to stand when the unthinkable happened.
Seto Kaiba reached under his desk and calmly stabbed Yugi in the back with the pencil with one capable long arm. He did all this without taking his eyes from his book.
And as Yugi slid to the floor, his blood pooling around him, he gaped.
Joey, who had seen the entire thing, also gaped.
Tea, catching sight of the blood running down underneath her desk, looked up to see Yugi dying, and gaped as well.
Tristan, from across the room, glanced up in time to see Joey and Tea gaping and Yugi gasping on the ground.
After a moment's hesitation (To gape or not to gape?), Tristan rushed to Yugi's side in time to hear his last words of parting from the world.
"I'm glad someone had the sense to try and comfort me as I die."
Yugi's eyes crossed as he tried to look at his nose. And his eyes stayed in that position as he died.
The Math Final (Sample questions):
1) If Joey can draw one duel monster in thirty seconds and Tristan can draw two duel monsters in forty seconds, how long would it take to draw 399 drawings if the two of them worked together?
a. As if they could work long enough to complete 399 drawings without getting into SOME sort of trouble
b.4 hours
c. 500 hours
d. None of the above answers are correct
2) If Yugi could defeat Kaiba within fifteen minutes and Kaiba could defeat Joey within ten minutes, how many minutes should it take for Yugi to defeat Joey?
a. Five minutes
b. Yugi would have to wait an indeterminable amount of time for Joey to demand a rematch from Kaiba, so all calculation of Yugi's duel with Joey would be irrelevant.
c. They wouldn't normally duel each other, only when some evil maniac is behind it, plotting to destroy Yugi's resolve, so no duel between them could be counted as legitimate.
d. None of the above answers are correct
3) If Kaiba and Mokuba fly directly West in their Blue Eyes White Dragon Jet at a speed of three hundred meters per second and Joey was paddling a raft directly East at a speed of one meter per hour, (assuming that both started at the same point) how far apart are they after 45 minutes?
a. Light-years apart, have you seen how fast that jet can go?
b. Joey would fall asleep at some point, fall into the ocean, and be devoured by sharks, so all calculation would be irrelevant
c. 45 minutes apart
d. None of the above answers are correct
4) If you could rate this fanfiction, you would say it was:
a. Great, awe-inspiring, the love of my life!
b. It was okay.
c. This story was so bad, it made me hate you, life in general, and all things that were once wonderful and good. I can't believe I've wasted so many words for such a worthless fanfiction.
d. None of the above answers are correct
(If you place your answers in a review, I will give you a score.)
AND NOW, THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR (hopefully): A BIT OF THE SECOND CHAPTER OF "IF IN NITE"!!!
"Cities grow
Rivers flow
Where you are, I'll never know
But I'm still here
If you were right, and I was wrong
Why are you the one who's gone
And I'm still here
The lights go out
The bridges burn
Once you've gone, you can't return
I'm still here
Remember how you'd use to say, I'd be the one to runaway
But I'm still here
Still here..."
Title: If In Nite
Dedicated to all those who love me and all those for who I loved, love, and will love.
Summary: Seto Kaiba had always been distant. Seto Kaiba had always kept himself isolated. Seto Kaiba is cruel, cold, and icy-hearted. That's because Seto Kaiba... doesn't exist...
Author's Note:
The story does follow the summary... eventually. I have to set up some sort of foundation to get to it. This story will turn a little over to the DARK-SIDE/angst-y side, but I'm hoping it'll stay on humor. I like humor.
To follow my plot, a lot of Seto's "past" will be...fiddled with.
And if there are any Yami Bakura fangirls reading this, either leave now or prepare to be mortally offended (Sorry Strgazer). Wink.
For the sake of my laziness, hikari/Ryou will be called Ryou, and Yami/Bakura will be called Bakura.
Chapter 2: Relapses
Ryou missed school the day of the math final.
He had studied all week with Yugi at the Game Shop. He reread his math notes ten times each morning at the breakfast table. In his pocket, he kept a stack of study cards. When he closed his eyes, he could see numbers. While he slept, he murmured formulas to his bedpost. He had been ready for this test.
But he had not been ready for Bakura.
Because of Bakura, Ryou woke up at 3 AM that morning. Because of Bakura, Ryou did not attend school that day. Because of Bakura, Ryou had missed the test. And because of Bakura, Ryou was now failing math.
At exactly 2:58 AM that morning, Bakura had awoken in his soul room from a fitful nightmare as he usually did near that time. He blinked blearily and slowly checked where he was – like he did every morning. He yawned and ran a tongue over his dry lips– like he did every morning. He stretched until the four kinks in his backbone were cracked and settled – like he did every morning. And then he scratched at an itch on his chest – not something he did every morning. For some reason that day, the gods had chosen to place an incurable itch between his collarbone and his ribcage.
At 2:59, when his brain had finally kicked in, his hand was still at his chest. And because his hand was still at his chest, he realized that there was something there that he shouldn't be feeling.
His mind froze. "Gods, no."
At that moment, something in him already knew that his life was screwed from that moment on. Something in him knew that somewhere out there, the gods were laughing at him so hard that they were falling off of their noble thrones. Something in him knew that all the shit in his life up until that moment counted as nothing in comparison. Which was probably why every fiber in his being screamed at him to keep his head up and at all costs NOT TO LOOK DOWN-
He looked down.
In Ryou's bedroom, the greenish glow of his digital alarm clock flickered to show 3:00 AM.
Bakura screamed.
-To be continued-
Author's Note:
I started this at the beginning of the school year. In three days, it'll be Christmas. And I'm still not finished with the second chapter. Consider this my Christmas gift to you.
If you do not like this gift, return it immediately.
I still have the receipt.
I want to finish the second chapter before winter break is over, but I don't want to get anyone's hopes too high. I'm being dragged across the country for a family vacation, and some of my teachers saw fit to load us with homework over the holidays.
Merry Christmanukwanzantaclaus!