Disclaimer: I am not the owner of Harry potter...unless you did something amazing magic-wise and then encountered Gilderoy Lockhart, I see no reason to believe that you don't know who does. Really. Oh, Sharpies aren't mine, either...

A/n: wow...I got a LOT of reviews for this one. I was despairing because I hadn't planned on writing more (how, indeed, was I supposed to?!) but people seemed to think it was funny, and I thought it was funny, too...so I guess I'll just do a lot of random stuff now. I suck at humor, but okay, here goes...

And thanks to all the wonderful people who reviewed:

SamanthaRiddle12: I know I didn't get what you said, but I'm glad you reviewed, and that you quoted

Monikka DaLuver: everyone go read her stuff!! Oh, and hi..quotes: voldie rox you are SO right, girl, you are SO right...

swordsrock: I think wandsrock would be more appropriate. .just teasing. Glad you thought it was so funny.

Charm12: there will be more, okay....wow, what a shocker, somebody wanted it to continue.

And non-writer German girl: erbsenpuree, with an umlauted "u"(the dots on top, non-Germanic people) I'm glad you liked it, too...I love Germanic languages! My big one is Icelandic, but oh well...you rock!

Grr, that was long.... Anything for you guys, no, I'm not gay....that sounded wrong...

"Erm, Hermione, what are you doing?" Remus asked tentatively.

She looked up from the sock. "I'm drawing." She replied, then went back to her work. Lupin frowned. He had expected a better answer.

"Oh, no," Hermione cried in dismay. "Hey!" she shrieked up the staircase to the boys. "Which one of you took my Sharpie markers?!"

Ginny walked into the room, arms laden with socks. "I don't think they can hear you," she said with a smile.

Hermione snorted.

"I'll go get the Sharpies," Luna offered. I'm married to everyone up there besides Ron, remember? Somebody will give them to me."

Ginny giggled. "Okay, sounds foolproof."

"I never do anything foolish," replied Luna dreamily, then waltzed upstairs as though faintly surprised at where she was. Lupin (a/n: I love Lupin! He is mine! No touchy!) stared after her for a moment, confused.

"I have to go," Ginny said. "I'm on scenery."

Hermione nodded, then looked up at Lupin.

"Hey, Lupin..." she began, when Ginny was out of earshot.

Remus shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He was sitting a little bit too close to her on the sofa and he wondered about his sanity...

"About what I said." She continued. "When I asked you-"

"Oh, I'm sorry, was I interrupting something?" Snape interrupted, walking into the room.

"Yes," Hermione snapped impatiently; Snapes's eyebrows shot up and Lupin paled.

"Then I'll leave." He exited.

"You'd better!" Hermione yelled after him.

There was a nasty silence.

"Hermione," Lupin said finally, "he didn't mean interrupt the conversation."

"Well, what did he mean?" Hermione asked. "There was nothing else to inter-oh."

She blushed furiously.

"Don't worry," Lupin assured her, "Sincerity Inkwell's not pairing us up."

"How do you know that?" I gawked.

"Because you love me, remember? I'm yours and all that?"

"Nu-uh. You belong to Joanne Rowling."

Lupin rolled his eyes. "I didn't mean that sort of own. And you do love me, you know."

I blushed like Hermione. Damn him, he's got that effect on women. "What makes you think that?" I demand.

"Remember the author's note?"

I played dumb. "What author's note?"

"'I love Lupin! He is mine! No touchy!'" he quoted.

"You're mean," I whined and POP! Disapparated, pouting.

"Er, who was that?" Hermione asked. "Old girlfriend?"

"No comment," Lupin said firmly.

"Okay," Hermione said, shrugging. "About what I asked you, if you'd bite me, I wasn't serious."

"I hope not."

"Not even remotely."

Lupin winked. "Are you sure? You do find me sort of handsome."

"No, I don't. Not in Jk's world."

"Well, you do have a sort of crush on me in Sincerity's world, which is a messed up place, anyway. You told Luna and Ginny how much you liked me yesterday."

Hermione's ears got red. "How did you know?"

"Sincerity told me."

I smacked my head against the monitor repeatedly.

"Remus, you dickhead," I yelled.

"You can't keep cussing at me," Lupin laughed. "You'll have to change the rating."

"To what? PG?"

"Yeah."

"I don't like PG."

"Then have some people snog randomly so that it's PG-13," suggested Hermione.

I thought about it. "Maybe in a few chapters. Thanks, Hermione! Points to Gryffindor!"

Hermione beamed, then went back to her sock.

"Oh, no! I still don't have those damn Sharpies!" She cried, then dashed upstairs. I rounded on Lupin.

"You're being very naughty. I just had to make a random appearance because of you, plus I have to change the rating."

"Only to PG," he argued, sticking out his lower lip.

"You bastard, I hate PG!"

"And besides," said Remus, standing and taking me by the shoulders, "the point of this whole story is to be random. Your appearance is funny."

I squinted up at him. "Is that an insult?"

"No. Now, go have somebody snog and get the damn rating changed."

I was shocked. "You're not supposed to cuss!" I shriek.

"Why the hell not? I'm a guy; guys like cussing."

I pouted, sulking again. "You're making me sad."

"Sorry."

There was a silent period.

"Still love me?"

I grinned, and kissed him on the cheek. "Yes."

"Good. Now leave. I'm too old for you."

"Not in the Marauders Era."

"Is that your next victim? Are my school days the next thing you slaughter?"

"Are you insulting the way I write fan fiction?"

Lupin looked wide-eyed and innocent. "Of course not."

"Good,' I said, and POP! Disapparated again.

Hermione walked into the room. "Encounter with the author?"

Lupin nodded, then said, "Sincerity, if you keep referring to me as 'Lupin' in this narrative, I will cuss Severus out."

I kicked my computer in protest, then howled in pain and limped around the room, glad he can't see me.

Snape walked into the room. "Ginny has something to tell Ms. Inkwell."

I stuck my tongue out at the screen. They had better not be able to see me.

Snape flipped me off. Aw, shitake mushrooms.

"Hey!" I shouted. "You're British! You don't flip people off!"

Snape grinned evilly. "You aren't British. You don't have anything else for me to do."

I fumed. "THAT'S IT, PEOPLE!! I'M ABOUT TO PULL A LOCKHART!"

Ginny ran down the stairs. "Ms. Inkwell?"

I turned to look at her. "Yeah, what?"

"I was just wondering...is this the last chapter? Cos you seem mad at everyone."

I smiled and shook my head. "Nah, it isn't," I said, "I have an idea- actually, a lot of ideas- but I think I'm too tired to do it in this chapter."

"What are we going to call this chapter?" asked Harry and Ron simultaneously, coming down the stairs with Neville, Draco and Luna. Hermione drifted in as well.

"I don't know," I admitted.

"How about 'A random guest'?" proposed Remus. I shot him a warning look. "I am very mad at you still. You are not allowed to cuss or say the word random anymore. At least, not I this chapter."

Neville looked confused, and so did Ron. "Who is she?" Ron asked. "Ex-girlfriend?"

"No comment," said Remus firmly.

"I have a chapter name idea!" piped up Neville.

"Okay," I said, encouraging. That boy has no self-esteem.

"How about 'Sincerity Inkwell is not Lupin's ex-girlfriend'?" he said.

"Ooh, I like that one!" I said. Remus snorted. I stuck out my tongue at him.

"Bite me!" I said.

"Oh, look," sneered Draco. "Another werewolf wannabe."

"My thoughts exactly," smirked Snape.

Hermione blushed and I scowled. "I'm the author, in case you didn't notice," I said coolly. "I could do anything I wanted to you."

"Like what?"

"I could write....Draco and Snape slash! I can just see the summary now: 'Draco knows how he feels about his Potions master...but he's never had the courage to act upon it. When Snape gives him detention one night, he get's his chance to make miracles happen.'"

Draco and Snape look horrified while Ron and Harry just guffaw.

"You sound like Rita Skeeter." Pointed out Hermione/

"Watch it, Granger, or I just might make that a threesome," I warned.

"You wouldn't dare!" she cried. "It would mess up the pure Slytherin impurity!"

"WATCH ME!" I retorted. Seeing her face, I added: "Muahahahahaha!"

"Wow, you have a really good evil laugh," said Ginny enviously. "Can I try? I'm channeling Voldie, Regulus and Bella, so I need one for the next chapter."

"'S all yours, it's not patented," I said with a shrug. Ginny grinned.

"So, it's settled?" asked Neville. "We end this chapter and you start the next one?"

"Yep," I say cheerfully.

"But no slash," insisted Hermione.

"Of course not," I laugh. She's relieved, and everybody laughs.

"Anything anybody wants to say before I end the chapter?" I offer generously.

"Tom Riddle's a jackass!" Ginny screams. "Oh, and did I mention that I'm mentally sick and twisted?!"

"Mentally sick and warped," I remind her.

"I thought it was twisted," she says, fairly confused.

"Nope."

"Can we be done yet?" asked a weary Remus Lupin.

"Fine!" I snapped, and POP! Disapparated.

Thus ends this chapter....