Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I own a copy of the books, though... hey, if I owned Harry Potter, I'd be making random appearances all the time and nobody would buy the books! Okay, so I wouldn't make any random appearances. None at all, actually, random or not-random.... I think I'm running out of disclaimer ideas.

AllAroundGold: that's what the show's for, my friend!

Dedicated to: all the people who appreciated the first chapter for what it was: the story version of a really messed-up dream I had. Channeling is back, people!

"Welcome to our puppet show," said Ginny Weasely, although you couldn't see her from behind the stage, as the lights grew dim all around, courtesy Hermione Granger's wand.

"It's based on who we're all, erm, channeling, and so we're sort of acting it all out- only, with puppets, not ourselves, cos that would be really hard to do, I mean, some of us- actually, most of us, are doing more than one person. Okay, and I'm rambling. But it starts when Tom Riddle was in school..."

And Ginny pulled out her marionette of Tom Riddle.

Tom Riddle: "I'm the heir of Slytherin! Blah, blah, blah, I think I'll attack some innocent muggles today, just because I'm a wanker!"

"Ginny!" Ron yelled from behind the stage.

"Well, he is." She retorted.

"You can't say that word!"

"Why not? You say it!" she replied.

"Yeah, but-"

"Would you two shut up? I'd like to finish, if you don't mind!" snapped Draco.

"So anyway," continued Ginny, her marionette prancing around the stage, "Tom Riddle decided to become the most evil wizard ever by becoming- you guessed it- really ugly."

Hermione, the technical one, transfigured the Tom Riddle marionette into a Lord Voldemort marionette.

"And then, really looking like Lord Voldemort, he started this group called the Death Eaters, which was full of really bad wizards- either bad as in evil, or bad as in just not very good at magic, well, either way they wanted to hurt people, so that's what they did."

Down from the top of the stage came Bellatrix the marionette.

Bellatrix hovered for a little while as some whispering went on, then the strings became untangled and she flopped down behind the stage onto something.

"Hey!" came Neville's voice. "My head!"

"Sorry, Neville," whispered Ginny, who pulled Bellatrix back up.

Then Lucius-puppet, Snape-puppet, and Regulus-puppet popped up- Regulus being held by Ron. As Lucy and Snapey are channeled by Draco, Ron and Draco- worst enemies- were sitting together, trying to cooperate.

This may be a minor problem later on. (hint, hint!)

"Regulus," Ginny continued, "who, by the way, is Sirius Black's little brother-"

"Yo!" cried Ron, Regulus-puppet trembling.

"Weasely," said Draco sternly from behind the stage, "if you can't put a sock in it-"

Harry sniggered from his invisible point backstage.

"Shut up, Potter, I didn't mean it! And you just calm down, Weasely, or I'll-"

"You'll what, Malfoy, shove your daddy down my throat?"

The audience, who was faintly amused, could hear Harry trying to stop himself from roaring with laughter.

"Break it up, you two, we're in the middle of something here!" whispered Hermione, bristling with anger.

"AHEM!" said Ginny loudly. "Regulus decides, 'Hey, you know, I'm a chicken', and quits the Death eaters. So, somebody puts him out."

"Oh, can I?" asked Draco eagerly.

"Sure," said Ginny.

Both of Draco's puppets curl into fists and Draco starts whomping- erm, not Regulus-puppet.

"Get the hell off me, Malfoy!" snarls Ron.

"Go, Draco!" cried Monikka from the audience.

"Yeah, go Draco!" echoes Memory. "Oh, no, wait- go, Ron!"

Monikka glares at her, and she shrugs, looking hurt again.

"Oh, forget it!" Hermione yells, and stomps out from backstage to crawl under the stage and shove the boys apart. Meanwhile, Harry is laughing so hard he thinks he'll wet himself. All the audience sees is a quivering heap of bushy hair sticking our very slightly, and hears Hermione, "Calm down, or we're getting someone else to play these guys!"

Then Hermione crawls out, muttering darkly under her breath.

"Okay, so, then ...oh yeah! Draco!" Ginny say, and suddenly her foot swings out of nowhere (actually, from above, because Ginny's doing marionettes) and taps what I'm going to assume is Draco's head.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm on it," he growls, and Snape-puppet pops up again. The audience giggles- after the shuffle with Ron, the puppet's left eye is missing.

"Snape gets a conscience, and decides to quit and join the Order. But remembering what happened to Regulus-shut up, Potter!"

Harry ahs just started laughing again from backstage.

"This is some play," Lupin whispered to Tonks, who nodded with a big ole smile on her face.

""Anyway, he pretends to stay a Death Eater so that he can spy for the Order."

Snape-puppet runs around in circles for a while.

"Hey, what's next?" asks Draco, voice muffled.

"Let's go over who's married," suggested Ron.

"Good idea, Ron," Harry says, and crawls behind the stage with James-puppet.

"Right, er, hold on," whispers Ginny. "Oy- Luna! Atrus!"

"Huh-what?" asks Atrus, from somewhere backstage. Luna giggles.

The audience rolls their eyes.

"All the married girls?"

"Right!"

Luna and Atrus clamber up a ladder to sit with Ginny.

A pair of legs with stockings up to the knee appears in view, from where the marionettes come down. One of the stockings has been pushed down and is now bunched up around the ankle.

"Luna!" Hermione hissed.

"Yes, Hermione?"

"Your legs!" finished Ron.

"Oh, right," she said in a sot of dreamy voice, and the legs disappeared.

Tonks let out a howl of laughter.

Ron crawled out from behind the stage so that Neville could get in.

"Maybe we should have practiced more, eh?" Ron whispered to Harry after heading backstage.

"Okay, so...Alice is married to Frank, and Lily's married to James, and Narcissa is married to Lucius. Is that it?" asked Atrus, impatient. He had other cough things to cough do cough. (a/n: I love this guy almost as much as I love Kael Tier from Marauder's Reign!!)

"Now, everybody but Lily and James leave!" Ginny demanded. "We have to finish this damn chapter!"

"Ah, but-"Atrus began. (he's holding up Narcissa.)

"Do it, or I'll start ranting about that scum Riddle again!"

"Ahem, Ginny, please don't do that, you'll lure the author back in again!" Lupin begged. Ohhh.....I have so much I'd like to say to that.......

"Yeah, okay," Ginny sighed.

All the puppets left, besides James-puppet and Lily-marionette.

Lily turned to James. "Where are we?"

"I dunno. Godric's Hollow, maybe?"

"Oh, I guess that makes sense."

"You've never made sense in your life, Luna, how would you kno-"

"For your information, Harry, the author thinks I make a lot of sense. And so does Atrus. We're trying to get Sincerity to do a chapter on Sporks."

"......?"

"You heard me!"

"Hey, you two," called Lupin, "Are you trying to get Sincerity back here?!"

There was silence. Then Atrus said slyly, "Why do you care?"

"Don't be impertinent," snapped Lupin.

"Well, you really hate that Sincerity," said Hermione reasonably.

"Finish the damn show already!"

"If you keep cussing, Lupin, she's really going to come back, you know she doesn't like it when you cuss."

Words flare across the wall in twisty green letters, courtesy livid author:

Shut your damn mouth. I'm getting really sick of it. You should save it for better uses.

Harry and Ron whooped,

You two watch it, too. You're prime candidates for slash.

They stopped.

And if you think for one minute that I'm going to let you disappoint everybody and not finish the show, you're sadly mistaken. So just finish the damn show already.

"That's exactly what I said," protested Lupin.

Don't make me Apparate in there!

"Why not? You've done it every chapter so far!" sneered Snape.

Have not!

"Almost," he shouted back.

Leave me alone! I have revenge in mind even worse than slash!

"Oh, yeah?" opposed Snape. "What's that?"

I get a lot of requests; you know...well, my mother requested that you fall in love with her.

"You wouldn't!" he cried, his face contorted in fury.

I would. And she plans to make you wash your hair. I can see the title now: The Grooming of Snape. A summary: When Severus Snape is introduced to the sexy Tupperware goddess, Christel, he decides to do anything to win her over- even if it means changing his underwear.

There was a stunned silence. Hermione whispered something about Rita Skeeter.

"Really?" asked Lupin.

Would I lie about something like that? She even requested the words "sexy Tupperware goddess"!

"Erm-okay. How old's your mom?" asked Snape.

Hey, you're already on thin ice with me. Now, just make sure everybody finishes the show, and I'll be pleased.

And then the words disappeared. Lupin turned back to the stage.

"Just finish the, ah, well, you know." He said wearily.

"She's really got you whipped, Lupin," whispered Snape.

"She's not my girlfriend!!" yelled a rather furious Lupin.

"Er, hello, are you guys listening?" Ginny asked. "We're finishing the damn show!"

"Oh, yeah, right!" said Lupin.

Neville popped up with Peter-puppet, and said, "Well, I'm Peter. I used to be a really awesome guy, but goodness doesn't pay the bills, so I guess I'll join the Dark Lord."

"Sauron?" asked Memory. Monikka stared at her.

"What?" she asked.

"Huh? Oh, never mind." Memory said, blushing. (a/n: sorry, Memory! I do like you, you know!)

"And so now I'm bringing about the deaths of two of my best friends!" Then Neville left Peter drop, and Lily, James and Voldemort were all that remained.

Ginny had Voldemort scamper around, chasing James-puppet, while Harry was getting very angry about being the only one onstage with a sock puppet.

Ginny shouted, "Avada Ked-ah, I can't remember how the rest of it goes."

"Oh, well," said Harry with a sigh, "I know what you mean."

Harry pulled off his sock puppet, and crawled out.

Ginny had Voldemort scuttle around, chasing Lily-marionette, and Luna was having a lot more fun than Harry was.

"Woohoo!" she cried. Finally, they stopped and Voldemort faced Lily. "I'm gonna kill your son now," Ginny said, trying not to laugh.

"Yeah, right, dream on," Luna giggled.

"Oh, yeah, well, if I have to kill you first, then so be it! Avada Ked-eh, what's that last bit again?"

"-Avra."

"Right, that. What you said." Luna let go of her marionette so that it fell on top of something.

"Hey!" cried Neville. "That was my head."

"Oops," Luna said.

Ginny was probably smiling like a lunatic. "Voldemort was torn from his body and he became even MORE of a pathetic excuse for a man than before!"

As Ron was crawling back under for his part with Sirius, Ginny dropped the marionette on something.

"Ow!" yelled Ron, and he swore loudly. "That was my head!"

"Crybaby," muttered Ginny.

"So, anyway," Ron went on, his Sirius puppet up, "Sirius here goes and tracks down Peter, and then, through some mishap, gets framed, and then, well...Ginny, torture the Longbottoms so we can be done!"

Ginny sounded irritated when she replied, "Then get Sirius the hell out of Bella's way!"

Luna dropped down Alice-marionette, and Ginny dropped down Bellatrix-marionette, and Neville popped up with Frank-puppet.

"Tell me where Voldemort is, or I'll torture you!"

"If I said Albania, would you believe me?" asked Neville.

"No!"

"Then I'm not saying anything!" retorted Luna.

"Fine then! Go insane!" Ginny cried.

Alice and frank turned to one another.

"Wow, she's lame," commented Luna.

They put their puppets away.

Then Ron popped up with Sirius. Bellatrix shoved him and then Ginny started to work on her evil laugh.

"Muahahahahahahahahahha!!!"

"Nice one, Gin," shouted Tonks.

"Thanks!"

Bellatrix kept laughing when all of a sudden; a hex from someone's wand began spitting tomatoes at the marionette.

"The hell?" pondered Ginny.

"Well, I wanted to play someone!" shouted Hermione from backstage.

"But who did you play?" inquired Draco.

"Hey, guys, can all of out characters bow and get it over with?"

It was Ron. Him and all the others had to crawl back in to have their characters bow.

Everyone bowed. And then the scenery fell. On top of everyone. Only Hermione was left standing.

"Who were you, anyway?" Tonks asked.

Hermione smiled perceptively. "Enraged fangirls, of course," she replied.

"ER, hello, guys?" came a voice from under the wood. It sounded like Draco. "We're, er, kind of trapped on the floor."

"Fine with me," came Atrus's voice, and he and Luna started snogging again.

Hope everyone's happy.....that's the second chapter I've written today, and I have a massive headache from staring at the screen. Can't wait till I write the next one, though- don't forget to keep guessing. Haha, Atrus of Ravenclaw has guessed already, when will you all guess?