Disclaimer: Harry Potter & Co. isn't mine, and surprisingly enough, I'm all right with that. So why am I crying?! ::cries:: Maybe it's because I just stapled myself…yeah, that could have something to do with it…or maybe it's because Dracula isn't mine yet? Why isn't he mine yet?! ::sobs::

A/n: Well, this was originally chapter ten, since I've begun to plan out chapters 8 and 9, but I've decided that since I've added so many new things to this, I'm going to put it here instead of chapter 8…well, it goes like this- I'm obviously in this chapter, and I have to be in next chapter, but after that all goes like first chapter, with the random (duh!) intrusions of yours truly every so often, but nothing out of hand.

As most noticed, Gryffindor is with ten points, Slytherin with 15. I'm a Slytherin. I posted it ages ago…but I'm a Hogwarts drop-out, I live in Transylvania, and none of you visit me.

There was a girl in a black sweater and a pair of jeans digging in the Dark Space, aka, the space between her piles of boxes and the wall, for a few sheets of paper, because on those sheets of paper were listed the ideas she'd written down absolutely ages ago for her fanfiction, back when her hair had been an inch below her friggin' ears. She'd written it before she'd watched the movie Van Helsing and fallen in love with Dracula- only to have him die on- what was in the movie, anyway- her birthday, two days before- what was in the real world- her birthday. She lay stretched across a box, arm out reaching. With a cry, she lost her balance and fell forward, her torso lodging itself in the Dark Space. Her legs kicked around for a while before she finally emerged- waving a few papers in her hands in triumph, and her black lipstick smeared halfway across her face.

She walked out, luckily going past her mirror and rectifying the situation concerning her cosmetics, and sat at the computer, waiting for it to dial up while she listened to a song in Russian that always made her reaaally hyper.

She knew what needed to be done- BTT had to be renamed. She couldn't even remember what it was really called, until she went to her site and found out. And then she couldn't remember why she'd called it that. Well, she had to rename it. And as she'd learned from her many, many Role Playing Groups- from Harry Potter to Van Helsing- the best way to make any significant changes is to conduct a poll. Besides, Remus would kill her if she did something that major without consulting him and the others. Mostly him. Only him. Forget everybody else.

She sighed, and logged in, wondering why she was referring to herself in the third person and without a name. The first was simple. She never used first person in BTT. The second was simple, yet puzzling. She had changed her name. Well, so she couldn't call herself Sincerity anymore. But she hadn't changed her name to a name. She had changed it to a pen name, an alias. A frown crossed her face.

"Well, fine, then," she said angrily. "As it is, I'll just go by the Widow till I think of something better!"

With that in mind, she snapped her fingers and Apparated into…er, not Malfoy Manor.

"Sorry!" she said, looking around at the traumatized people. She'd somehow gotten into a church- during a funeral, no less.

"Er….who died?" she inquired, peering around.

"My husband," said a woman in black.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," she said, tears coming into her eyes. "I lost my own husband recently! That's why I'm a widow!"

The woman and her cried a bit, then she Apparated again, muttering, "I really should renew my license…I don't know what I'm doing anymore!"

"Voila!" she cried, upon entering the Mansion, throwing her arms into the air with a flapper girl smile on her face. Remus Lupin and Ginny Weasley looked up from their card game, and Hermione looked up from reading. Draco, Harry and Ron emerged from another room, and Severus Snape stared at her.

"What?" she asked, folding her arms, annoyed.

"Who the hell are you?!" Remus asked, looking shocked. Severus withdrew his wand silently, a dark look on his face. The girl's mouth dropped open.

"You mean you don't recognize me? And Remus, stop your damn cussing."

Hermione and Ginny, the girls, were the first ones to notise, obviously. Hermione smiled warmly, and Ginny ran up to hug her.

"It's you!" Ginny said. "Sincerity! You left us for a long time."

"So long, in fact, that she's not Sincerity," Hermione added, putting the book away. "What are we supposed to call you, anyway?"

The girl shrugged. "I'm not sure," she admitted. "I wondered myself."

"What's your new name?" asked Ron, frowning in confusion.

"The Widow Dracula," she replied promptly. The group exploded in laughter, from Draco and Severus' snickers, to Ron's sniggers, to Harry's chuckles, and other things. The girl refolded her arms.

"Stop laughing," she commanded. It didn't work much.

"Stop!" she demanded, yelling. Still nothing.

"Stop?" she pleaded.

Remus notised she was genuinely distressed. "Well, I'm sorry," he said, sobering slightly- ever, ever slightly. "But it's so funny!"

"That's nice," she huffed. "And it's not what I'm here for. The title to this story is horrible and I want to rename it, and you're all going to help me."

"Do we have to?" whined Draco and Ron in unison.

She fixed them with a glare.

"I'm not scared of you," Draco muttered sullenly, but he quieted anyway.

"What do you suggest we call it?" asked Ginny, while Hermione pulled out a sheet of paper to take notes.

"Well, I'm not sure about that either."

"You're some author," Draco said loudly. She glared at him again. He sulked around a bit, then said, "Why don't we call it, 'Slytherins Rock', since you're one too?"

Harry and Ron turned to look at him with looks of equal indignation and he went back to sulking.

"Why don't you call it, 'Playing Pretend'? Channeling is sort of like that," Ginny piped up during the silence that followed.

"Or 'Center Stage'! We're almost acting," Ron added quickly. Severus Snape looked at him intensely and he averted his eyes.

" 'Sincerely, Sincerity'." Hermione said with a look of pride on her face. "I think it's a clever play on words if I do say so myself."

"You do say so yourself," Ron reminded her.

"Or something like it," Harry said with a frown. "I don't know, does the name really have to change?"

"Yes," she said firmly. "And I'm not Sincerity, Hermione," she said apologetically as Hermione looked a bit deflated.

"Okay, okay," Remus said, shaking his head. "Why don't you have your reviewers rename it?"

She shrugged. "Okay, fine. And…" a light lit up in her eyes, as she paced the room. "Twenty points to the House of the one who comes up with a good name!"

"And twenty to the House of the one who comes up with a good name for you, too," Ginny added. "I am not calling you by a pronoun all the time, it is too confusing."

She cowered. "Okay, fine," she said, sighing. "Oh, did you guys like 'My Best Friend's Boyfriend.'?"

"Loved it!" Harry and Ron said immediately. "Can we write more slash?"

"Hey!" Draco cried, upset. "That's not fair, you brownnosers!"

Harry and Ron smirked and whispered to each other.

"No," she said firmly. "Okay, so this was the most not-related to Random chapter ever, and yet it was the most Random. And it wasn't humorous!" She sat down and pouted.

"And Drac's still dead!"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "I liked Sincerity Inkwell better than The Widow Dracula. Maybe if you had been The Widowed Countess, I'd like it better, but…" she trailed away at the look on her face.

"Never mind," she added quickly.

She sighed and stood.

"Well, that ends this chapter. Next chapter is full of you guys snogging reviewers-" Draco, Harry and Ron perked up and Hermione and Ginny looked disgusted- "and the chapter after that is….a secret. But it's a really, really good idea, so everyone stay tuned!"

She waved and Disapparated. They heard a POP!, then another in a closet beside them. Then they heard coats falling off their hangers and a loud "Damn! I've got to practise!" and another POP!

"I guess that ends the worst chapter since the time she cancelled," said Harry, disappointed. "Oh, well….let's write more slash."

Ron and Harry went upstairs and Draco ran after them, shouting hexes.

"I miss the good old days," sniffed Ginny. "When we could, you know, call her Sincerity."

"Well, look at the bright side, we still have reader input," Hermione said pleasantly.

"Reader input brought us 'Drama in the Dungeons'," Ginny reminded her.

The pair frowned.

If you want to get points for your house, and help me out-- ::puppy eyes::-- please add, in your review, even if you're flaming it, what you think we should call the story, either something mentioned here or your own idea, and something that they can call me. Please?! I missed you guys, though…next up is definitely coming! And a hint for the holidays? Harry and Ron sneak into Hermione's computer agaaain…although I'm not sure who their victims shall be…::smirks::