Chapter 2 - Seras

That day changed everything for me. And no it wasn't the day Alucard killed me – that day just messed up my life. No, even after the git shot me right through the chest and turned me into a vampire, I was pretty much the same. Well maybe I was different physically. But, inside I didn't change inside. No, it was the day that Captain Bernadette became a part of me. That day changed me to what I am today.

I guess all along I had been falling in love with him. At first, I didn't want to admit it. You see, I'm kind of a tomboy and didn't have all that much experience with that kind of thing. The way he teased and flirted with me embarrassed me to bloody hell. I think that's why he enjoyed it so much. I still don't what he saw in me. But, he was starting to have an effect on me. I guess I couldn't help falling for him. Pip is-er I mean was- handsome, even with only one eye. I loved his long blonde hair and blue eye. He was a good man too, he has a good heart.

I should have known it was going to be a bad day. We had to battle all of those Nazi Vampires. And that pervert had the nerve to kiss me without asking first! As if we should be kissing in the middle of a war and in front the other soldiers! I know what he had on his mind. But, I can't blame the Captain for that now. I suppose he was falling for me too. I know that sounds mushy, but can't mercenaries and vampires fall in love? In the end, he lived up to his word. Pip saved my undead life more then once that day.

I wasn't strong enough to fight Joleen at first. I tried to be; God, how I wanted to be. But, she tricked me. That bitch ripped my body apart. She tore out my eyes and arm. I hate her for doing that. I couldn't even look at Pip once more before he died. The Captain was so brave. He carried me even though he was bleeding. I never wanted him to sacrifice his life for me. Why didn't that bastard listen to me? He was ALIVE. I'm something else. And yet…he cared for me like I was a human. He told me that it wasn't a shame that he gave his life for me. But, I wonder – was I worth it? I am a vampire. Am I evil? Should he have given his life for a monster like me?

And then he kissed me. I can't stop thinking about that kiss. I don't know why I resisted him for so long. I wish now that I didn't. A part of me was scared. I'd never even been with a man or had a boyfriend. I went on a few dates in school, but they never amounted to anything more then a kiss. And those kisses were nothing like the one Pip gave me. I'll never forget it. I wish we had done more then just kiss.

But, that bitch from Millenium just wouldn't let him die in peace. No – she and her army kept attacking. I was in no shape to fight. She had taken my arm and eyes. How the hell could I fight like that? But, Pip saved me again. He asked me to drink his blood, so we could both defeat her. I hadn't been drinking much blood. Think the last time was when Sir Integral offered me some of her blood. I hate the taste of that cold blood that Walter brings to me in plastic bags. Sir Integral's blood was delicious. I understand now why my Master thirsts for it. When Pip offered me his - I could not say no. It was his last request. And I needed blood if I was going to survive. The only regret I have is that he wasn't a virgin. I'm not jealous. I don't care about the other girls he was with before me. But, if he was a virgin, I could've turned him. Then we both could've survived. I guess that would've been too easy. Ever since I was a child, my life has been hard. I'm not complaining. Getting through the hard times is what made me a surrvivor.

Neither of us knew what would happen when I drank his blood. He was just barely alive when I started. It was…wonderful. Pip told me to drink his blood so we could both defeat Joleen and I never thought twice about it. Doing it felt so inhuman, but that was okay. I was doing it to keep my promise to him. I can't deny that I loved the feeding. When my teeth ripped into his throat and his warm blood came rushing down my throat…I could feel his power, his life, and his soul becoming part of me. I think that shagging must be something like this – but not as satisfying. So many different feelings were going through me – lust, desire, hunger, fulfillment, and love. For what I am, nothing compares to drinking the blood of your lover. What happened after I fed – that is what changed everything.

I didn't feel any different at first. But, a few seconds after I finished drinking, I felt him inside of me. His spirit came into my body! I know it sounds crazy, but it happened. The Captain is still inside of me. The first time I felt his soul become part of my mind. It was weird; his soul seemed to become part of me. I remember every glorious moment of killing that bitch from Millennium. But, it was Pip's soul that led us to victory. I was there fighting too, but it was The Captain, that gave me power.

I still feel him inside. Sometimes he even talks to me. God he is such a pervert and sometimes it is so embarrassing. He's been saying the strangest things lately. I think he wants me to…oh this is so embarrassing...but he wants me to get together with Sir Integra. I can't do that! Not even for him. Sir Integral is my commander, my boss. I care about her but not like that. At least I didn't before he was in my body. There are times when I'll be talking to her and find myself staring at her chest! I don't mean too, really I don't. I never felt that way about her before he was inside of me. I swear it is HIM controlling my eye. I have to make him stop – what am I supposed to say if she notices – that the Captain made me do it?