Chapter Eleven – Breathing doesn't make me Alive
Dream
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Dedicated: All my friends.
I rushed to type this up, and now I'm posting it straight away, as per normal.
Yamis pov
The night crept on around me in a disentangled blur. I remember Ryou Bakura leading me back to the fluffy armchair, before everything faded into a great mass of moving color. After about five minutes of color , I drifted into and uneasy dose.
--I could see Seto. But we were in a room. It was dark, musty, cobwebbed. Light played little role in the vastness of the black that took up the room.
I looked around, hoping to see something, anything, that might attribute to there whereabouts, but it all shimmered off into unending black.
I turned back to Seto.
His head was down, he was sitting on what looked like a bed.
The sheets were ruffled, but obscured by strange objects.
I began to walk toward him, an uneasy feeling settling into my chest. His shirt was off, his pants removed in places by what could only be a knife. His chest had fresh blood on it, fresh cuts and bruising, and his elegant hands were bound behind him.
I took in a sharp breath, before breaking into a run, screaming out to him.
I shouted till I was hoarse, running till I was out of breath, but I got no closer, he couldn't hear me.
Tears formed in my eyes, as I feebly called out his name again.
This time, he rose his head, brought it up so crimson stained bangs fell from his face, so blue eyes could gaze upon me with a hollowed expression.
I stumbled back with a gasp, as I saw the haunted and dead look in the normally fiery orbs.
"Seto," I breathed, but he started to fade away.
"No Seto!" I screamed for him, but he just looked at me.
Then his lips parted.
"I'm lost to you now."—
I awoke with a terrified scream.
His eyes, so haunted, pale.
Those words fired through my mind.
He was hurt. Being hurt.
I dropped my head to my hands.
No, no, no!
Everything was happening so fast, so painfully fast. To those who didn't deserve it, to those who weren't to blame. Why was this happening to me? To my beloved ones? Was there some 5000 year old karma I was due?
But Seto... my heart broke at the seems.
After what I said, those words, with such... feeling...
I shook my head. It just wasn't fair.
"Yami!"
I leapt up in shock.
"What?!" I practically screamed out, but Bakura was already half way out the front door, the rest of the crew picking up the pace.
I reached the door.
At the bottom of the driveway was a sleek black convertible.
A figure leapt out of the driver side, and took off to the other dark car sitting near by.
Bakura tried to aim for them, to hit them, but would have had more luck understanding Shakespeare.
The car roared off into the night.
At the same time, we all hurried to the car left with its headlights on in the driveway.
It was Setos' car. I recognized it closer up. One of his more 'expensive' cars, even though every car was expensive.
The car was parked before a set of black gates, twice as high as myself.
I vaulted them.
Don't ask me how.
My legs tensed as they coiled and I hit the pavement. I stumbled, before my hands seized onto the front of the car, and I groped for the door handle.
Behind me, the gate began to creak open.
I wrenched open the door, the car light beeping on to reveal... nothing.
The front seat was empty, bar the silver keys that dangled from the ignition in the small light.
I craned my neck to see the back seat, which too was empty.
Cursing, I pulled back out of the car, as Bakura appeared at my side.
"Nothing!" I growled.
I heard the others give small cries of despair.
Marik charged past us both, to the boot, where he seized the millennium rod. In a swift blur of movement, he unsheathed the blade and rammed it into the key slot of the car.
It clicked.
He gave a weary smirk.
"At least without power, my item is still useful."
Sheathing the blade, he let it fall to his side in the belt, before heaving open the lid.
I saw his face pale , as he dove forward, half into the boot. He withdrew, clutching a tiny, pale form, whose spiky red black hair drooped about his shoulders, clothed in a shirt four times his size.
I moved forward in a second, my arms opening up to Marik, who gently lay my hikari in my arms.
He hung there limply.
I sobbed.
His face was so pale, smeared with dirt and blood.
I clutched him to me tightly, as I turned and moved swiftly back up the drive. I heard Otogi mutter he'd park the car, but was beyond caring. I had two questions tearing my head apart.
'Who? Who had done this to Yugi?' His eyelids twitched at the corners. Anger sparked in me, and surged into a raging fire. They would pay. I would make them pay with an eternity of pain and darkness.
As I pushed through the door, questions being thrown at me, the second question reverberated in to my mind.
'If that was Setos' car, what happened to Seto?'
Yugis perspective
He opened his mouth to cry out too late. He watched as a thick, black metal was slammed into the bas of the brunettes neck, and the teen crumpled into a heap on the floor.
His scream tore through the dark.
"Kaiba!"
But the still form did not respond.
Yugi began to sob, as he watched black clad men approach and seize the teen. A defiant, and rather foolish part of his conscious reared to life, the part that couldn't let this just 'happen' to a friend.
"Leave him alone you, you...fuckers!" he spat with as much venom as possible.
They laughed, cruel, goading sounds that shredded any hope or moral he might have had.
The executive approached him, making him cower away as far as the chain would stretch.
The man chuckled.
Behind him, the men were eagerly tearing away the billowing cloak and black t-shirt of the unconscious youth. As the material came away, they seized his wrists, pulling them taught behind his back, before lashing them together tightly.
Once finished, one seized Seto, and dragged him across the floor, toward the bed, toward them.
As Yugi watched his friends plight, the executive had retrieved the small black control for the chain, and lowered it further, enough for Yugis' exhausted arms to drop into his lap.
The spiky haired teen watched fearfully, as the device was tossed aside again, as the man moved toward him.
He leapt to his feet, stumbling toward the edge of the bed, only to be restricted by the heavy hook and chain still attached at the wrists.
The man tsked him. "Now now 'Yugi'," he said, putting emphasis on the name, "you have to come down from there, so dear Seto can take your place."
Yugi quivered in fear. "D-don't touch h-him!"
"Aww," he murmured, imitating a mock baby voice somewhat, "little Yugi isn't scared is he? Poor wittle Yugi..."
A deep hatred began to stir inside of the youth. This man was cold, cruel, vicious. Yugi shook again.
No matter how strong Seto made out to be, Yugi could see the man crushing the proud dragon spirit.
Hands came out of the darkness to snare and seize at his semi-naked form, and he tried to nimbly avoid them. Each cruel intention and thought bore a physical malice that cut straight to his heart, and Yugi would never forgive himself if he left Kaiba alone, here, with them.
"I'd stop if I were you."
He ignored it, now using the chain to cling to as he lashed out with his feet. He struck, and heard a pain filled cry follow in its wake, before the heartless executive grabbed at his foot and wrenched him to the bed.
Now, he used his body to pin the teen, and watched with satisfaction as he whimpered and squirmed.
"Take the hook off, while he's pinned."
"Sir."
Yugi tried to shake his hands away, but from his position, could do no more than feel utterly helpless as diligent fingers moved about his own.
Glancing up, he saw heartless, cold, grey eyes gazing at him lustfully. He writhed beneath the giant form above him.
Those eyes were like glass. Nothing was really in them...
Hook detached, two men seized onto the pale upper arms, and Hirohito removed himself as Yugi was dragged to his feet, and away from the bed.
Briefly glancing back, he saw the others hauling Seto onto the bed, and pulling out objects like cuffs and chains from boxes.
His heart leapt before he swallowed it. His head snapped back to his captor.
"You can't do this!" he cried, tears once again forming in the violet eyes, which now pleaded with the frigid gray.
The man turned cold, emotionless features upon him, and gave a lifeless smirk.
"Watch me. Or more," his eyes suddenly lit up, "it'll be the fact you 'know' what happened, but that's it. What can 'you' do?"
The duelist champion choked on the huge lump in his throat. He knew the answer to that. The sad, depressing, but truthful answer.
He sensed a hand swing at his head, but the question was the last thing on his mind, coupled with the final sight of those dead eyes.
His answer, the truth...
There was nothing he could do.
The light stung at his eyelids. His body ached and cramped, crying out to him with bitter pain.
His mind pleaded rest, craved it as much as his body, but apart of him struggled to remember.
The clouds and darkness of his mind began to recede, and a clear, lone figure replaced it. Blue eyes pierced away his defenses.
His eyes snapped open and he choked out.
"Yami!"
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Yamis pov
-------
Yugis eyes continued to twitch, as I gently lay him on the first couch I came across.
My eyes raked his body for any signs of vital injury, yet it seemed he was only hampered by light cuts and bruises.
Jou appeared behind me, and dangled the puzzle before me.
I snatched it away from him, before draping it gently about my lights neck.
Instantly I knew, he suffered no serious injury.
--Yugi?--
His eyes snapped open and he gasped.
"Yami!"
Relief drowned me like a current. He was awake, he was breathing, he'd be ok.
"Yugi, its alright, I'm here!"
He shook his head frantically, as though trying to find the words and his tongue. His eyes raked over everything. He glanced over the whole room, taking in the people there, until he finally looked down at himself.
He saw the shirt he was in, his eyes widened, and he let out a muffled scream.
He leapt to his feet in an instant, tugging at the material, fighting with it to be free.
My hands came up to help remove it, and he pulled free.
Seizing it roughly from my hands, he hurled it desperately away from us, sobbing and whimpering as though touching it caused him pain.
My eyes narrowed as I stood and wrapped my arms about him in a comforting hug. He turned his head into my shoulder, and cried. Sobs wracked his body, and my heart bled at his pain.
He may not have been hurt physically, but mentally he was dying.
I pulled him towards the sofa, where I sat down and pulled him into my lap. He curled into a ball, sat there, and sobbed.
My arms tightened reflexively around him, as his body shook against my own.
I lifted my head, to see the others, staring at me with dismal and hopeless expressions, each wishing to hold and comfort my light as I was.
I lowered my head, gazing at the top of the ebony hair, as my own tears cascaded into the violent mass.
I waited, wrapped about my hikari, as his tears subsided, and he looked up, puffy eyed and seemingly wallowing in despair.
"I-I'm s-sorry Y-Yami."
My eyes widened beneath their tears.
"Yugi! None of this was your fault! You couldn't help it, and I should be the one to blame for not watching over you!"
I stopped, gasping for breath as I pushed away my tears, to have a skeric of control over my rampart emotions.
Yugi though, was adamantly shaking his head.
I tried to continue, but Yugi cut in.
"Yugi..."
"No Yami, not that, that...that couldn't be helped by anyone, and I'll never blame you, ever. But..." Tears leaked into the corner of his eyes again, as he struggled to find the words.
"But I-I couldn't h-help him Yami, I couldn't." His hands came up to cover his eyes, his face, as I stared at him, bewildered.
"Yugi..."
"No!" he burst out suddenly, "I should have been able to, he shouldn't have done..." His body was racked by sobs again, and my arms encompassed him once again.
The others stared apprehensively and worriedly at the both of us, remaining depressingly silent.
"Yugi, who, or what, are you talking about?" I whispered softly, gently, in his ear, deep concern at his distress.
His head snapped up.
"He took my place Yami, gave himself over, for me!"
My heart lurched violently. "W-who?" But I didn't need him to tell me, I knew already, could tell, could sense, and my insides twisted into painful knots, as a fresh wave of emotional nausea engulfed me.
"Seto."
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Setos pov
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The room was shadows. Dark.
Blurs moved about me, but that's all I knew them as, blurs. Everything was melded into one, when movement and moment collided. My head spun.
My body hurt. Everywhere. I was in pain.
Every part of me screamed in agony, and each movement brought a gasp of pain.
My arms were bound tightly now, not behind my back, but to something I couldn't make out in the haze of my vision.
The chains cut deeply into my wrists, which bled onto the rough metal.
My eyes gazed up into the high roof top; where the darkness didn't shift and move, as I felt the bed shift to accompany the new form.
The movement caused a shooting pain up my back, but now, with the new presence, I choked back my cry.
I continued to stare into nothingness, as I felt a soft touch to my chest, as a hand traced patterns over me, and down toward my legs.
I couldn't help drawing in breath.
The person chuckled.
"Miss me?" he purred, as he crawled up and on to the top of my chest, abandoning his previous torment.
I swallowed, before trying to draw in another breath.
He reached up and turned my head to stare at him. His face swam into view.
Hirohito.
I felt the flicker of hatred, anger, and defiance pass through me again. He grinned at me.
"You have such beautiful eyes, so blue..., it's a shame they give away your emotions so efficiently when you're weak."
I glared at him , to which he just chuckled again.
"Looks like I haven't quite taught you correctly have I? Mmm, well, we still have plenty of time."
He smirked at me, before both his hands roughly seized my face and he crushed his lips to my own.
I closed my eyes as tightly as I could, but it couldn't stop the tears building up behind my lids, couldn't stop me feeling his tongue as it probed my mouth.
I want this to end.
I want to die.
All I felt inside me was a great gaping hole, where images of Yami's fiery rejection, and Hirohitos bruising kisses spun on endlessly.
As his hands raked back down my body, as he shifted his position, I sent out a plea to whatever force could hear me.
I pleaded for my death.
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Yamis pov
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This was torture.
I must have walked a nice long line into the carpet from my pacing since 4 am. It was now 7: 03.
Yet time was outside my thoughts, out of mind out of sight.
All I could think of, pour over and remember with vivid pain, was Seto. That look, a pained and hurt look, when I had forcefully pushed him away, when he had only wanted to help.
I brought my hands back up, clutching my head.
And that dream...
Am image of Seto, tied down, that vacant and desolate look on his face, in his eyes, flashed through my head, and my fingers tightened reflexively in my hair.
His eyes, those blue oceans', were empty, dried up.
And it was my fault. I had pushed him away, sent him to the claws of this monster. No matter what anyone else said, this was 'my' fault.
Flashback
Yugi lay, restlessly, on a velvet soft down cover, of a double bed.
It was the first room I had come across, and I had lain Yugi gently on the bed, before soothing him into sleep.
It had taken a lot, but the teen was emotionally and physically exhausted, so it hadn't taken long.
Now, I stood in the doorway, casting a loving glance at my light, who had Shizuka, Mai, Honda and Otogi surrounding him, before tearing back down the stairs.
Marik, Bakura, and Jou, leapt after me, though both Yami's restrained themselves from questioning me till the base of the stairs.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"Seto."
Bakura snorted. "And where do you plan on 'looking' for him?"
"I have to do something!"
"Yeah, rest!"
"No!"
"Yami, you don't even know where he is, or what's happening," Marik stated, in a convincing and persuasive voice.
"It doesn't matter! I'll find him."
Bakura put a determined look onto his face.
"No, you need to look so you feel like you're doing something. Kaibas a strong person Pharaoh, he can handle whatever this is. He'll be fine."
"You think so, do you?" I replied quietly.
Jou gave a bit of a huff. "Come on, if its not one Kaiba, its another. He can manage, cause I don't think there is another being alive as cold, distant, humorless and self absorbed as Kaiba."
I wasn't aware of my fist taking on a mind of its own, but it did, and it viciously attacked Jou in a swift move of pure concentrated anger and frustration.
I was thankful Mariks speed equaled my own at times, as his own hand shot out to catch mine, inches from Jous' face.
Jous eyes widened, and he stumbled back, a shocked look on his face.
"As amusing and relieving as that would be, Yami, you need to conserve your strength."
I glared at Marik, breathing heavily.
"Not that he doesn't deserve it either," Bakura added, with a glower in Jou's direction.
He had the grace to look ashamed.
"I'm just, I'm gonna...go back up stairs," he blonde muttered, before turning and disappearing back up the stairs.
I took a deep breath, turning to march toward the door. But Marik still held my wrist. I turned to glare at him.
"Let. Me. Go."
"N.O."
Why were they being so calm? How could they be? Seto was out there, he was being hurt, and it was my fault! And they wouldn't even let me look for him.
I felt myself losing control again. I tried to rip my hand from his grasp, but he just tightened the grip.
I couldn't take much more.
"Damn it Marik!"
"You need to rest with your hikari Yami!"
"Not until I find Seto!"
"Why?"
My emotions took control of me again, and the Sennen Eye flickered briefly on my head, while anger, hatred, but more than any other, guilt, flowed through me.
"Because its' my fault!" I yelled.
Marik released my wrist.
"I told Seto off, told him he was no use, told him to get lost! I said all that to him when he was helping us! When we all could've gone and saved Yugi! I pushed him away! Now he's lost!"
The words of the dream tore through me.
"He's lost to me," I whispered, as silent tears brought themselves to my eyes.
I gazed imploringly at the other spirits.
"What if the last thing I ever said to him, was to sod off? When I didn't even 'mean' it, when I was too angry to see past an escape? What if that's the last thing I told him?"
The guilt ate me away, devoured my heart. Seto wouldn't have gone on his own, if I hadn't gone off, snapped.
I'd never forgive myself if anything happened to him.
My head fell to rest against my chest.
Silently, I cried.
Every tear was a world of pain.
I stood there, like that, till I felt the oddest sensation.
Velvet soft hair brushed against my cheek, as strong, toned arms encircled me, pulled me into a firm hug.
My eyes widened, as I took in the bent head with waves of white hair, inches from my own face.
The brown eyes were closed, but I could sense the gaze anyway. He opened his eyes, and gave me a comforting look.
I saw Bakura in those eyes, a reassuring smile on his features, before they became Ryou, whose arms tightened around me even more, and he rested his head on my shoulder.
"Please Yami, rest with Yugi."
I closed my eyes.
"You need it."
I sighed.
"Getting your hikari to convince me Bakura? Isn't that a bit low for a great Tomb Robber like yourself?"
Ryou released me, smiling slightly, before Bakura re-emerged, and gave me a small smirk.
"No. And just as long as you know how brilliant I am, get some rest."
I gave a defeated sigh. "Fine."
As they lead me back up the stairs, nothing could stop the great tidal wave of self hatred and guilt drowning me in its depth.
End Flashback
I'd slept inside the puzzle with Yugi for a few hours, but awoke at around four, when I came down and began my pacing.
Though my physical form had benefited greatly from Yugis' closeness, my heart and mind were in pieces.
I wanted Seto back with a physical yearning that made my body ache.
I'd gone into the bathroom earlier, only to viciously slam the door shut, memories bombarding me.
Ra, help me.
I had prayed those words all morning, for me, and for Seto.
Now, my footsteps droned aimlessly along, as my mind relived the past.
When the door bell rang, I nearly leapt out of my skin, before turning and tearing down the hall to it.
As I got closer, I heard a thud, as though someone hitting the door, and was tempted to yell in my agitated state they should thump themselves.
My heart raced though, as my fingers seized the handle, and a blue eyed brunette appeared in my mind.
Please, let it be him...
I turned the knob and pulled open the door.
A cry emerged from my lips, as I took in the crumpled form of my lover, sprawled at the base of the door, half naked and bleeding onto the steps.
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Now I gotta go.