that this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Pablo Neruda

------------------------------------------------

No Dreams

Something around him changed, stirring him from his slumber. The years of special ops training, the time that honed his senses, was not forgotten, and his senses where just as sharp; despite the dust that had settled into them since getting a desk job and in the relative safety of his home they would not switch off.

A few years ago he remembered hearing the smoke alarm of his neighbours half way through the night. Though he never admitted it was him, there was a brave and strong stranger that ran into the building to rouse the CO2 poisoned parents and grab the two small children, the back up arriving (i.e. firemen and paramedics) he slipped into the night from whence he came. The family survived because of such a stranger, unable to recall the likes of the man that saved their lives through the smoke that clouded their mind and blurred their vision.

Thinking back to one of those nights when a brave and strong stranger went about helping people, he decided a late night wake up call was a small price to pay for having finely tuned senses.

Saving people was what he did.

Since in the service of his country that was the prime goal of his career; save people.

And he managed it; otherwise he wouldn't be here.

But no matter how many times he saved the world whether as part of SG-1 or the commander of the SGC there where some he could not save, some he could not be there for.

Doc.

Kawalskey

Charlie.

And countless others.

They all weighed down on him, each name and face unforgettable in his mind, as though the scars of the white-hot pokers that etched them in his mind.

No amount of saving could make up for their deaths, but he continued.

Continued to make them proud, to carry on the fight, to cheat the very thing that had taken such precious people from him.

To delay death for others.

And so he continued to step lightly from his bed, throwing the covers dismissively onto the empty half of his bed. He prowled with precision towards the door of his room.

There was very little sound.

The air-conditioned hummed contentedly, the faint sound of late night truckers on the highway a quarter mile away drawling past, and a steady drip of a tap left abandoned from a previous night time visit.

But something wasn't right.

Something never feels right when you wake up in the middle of the night.

Like some in-built paranoia of life; a disturbed slumber and eerie silence make for an uneasy combination.

Toes splayed in the think carpet, he took a moment to let his waking eyes to adjust to the modest light that filled the hall, before padding softly towards the living room.

Everything was just as he left it; the last beer bottle a dibble of foam lingering at the bottom, the cushions on the sofa still held his imprint from four hours ago.

Everything was normal, but it was still quiet and the uneasiness of the night crept slowly into Jack's heart.

Something was …different.

Before he had time to figure out what it was his 'spider senses' where trying to tell him, there was a brief flash of lights and the soft purr of a engine as a car pulled into his drive.

Reacting quickly he slipped into the shadows in a joining room so as not to be seen.

Light footsteps made quick work of the stairs before they came to the door.

The lock shuddered and opened, letting the night time visitor into the darkness of the hall, cloaked by darkness Jack could not make the identity of the visitor, but something made him wait, made him watch.

He watched as they moved purposefully deeper into the house, bypassing all the good stuff like DVD player and wide screen TV, supposedly heading for the bedroom.

They moved with stealth that even given the situation Jack took a second to admire, had he not woken up just moments ago he would doubt whether he would have woken.

Jack followed as the visitor neared his room.

Once reaching their 'goal' they just stood there in the threshold, not moving in the slightest.

A minute passed by.

And Jack could not take another.

'What you looking for?' said Jack gruffly.

She screamed in fright jumping and turning at the same time to be faced with a grave looking sleep-deprived man.

But she couldn't answer.

And he had nothing more to say, as shock to over him; his heart flipping at the sight of her and rooting him to the spot.

Another minute passed by.

'You.' She said specking finally. 'I was looking for you.'

'I guessed.' He said quietly. 'Why?'

'To tell you I can't wait.'

'Ah, so you don't think I got that answer from the way you ran out my office like a bat outa hell?' he said his usual sarcasm still surrounding his words even at 03.00.

'I can't wait for you Jack, but …'

'Oh so there's a 'but' is there? I take it that's why you're here, breaking an entering at 3am.' He said anger slipping into his voice, a few decibels from shouting, all trace of shock now gone from his system.

'Yes, and I wasn't breaking an entering cos you gave me a key,' she said holding it out as evidence.

'I think I'll have that back.' He said taking it from her in one swift movement.

'Fine,' she said in finalizing tone, but she made no move to leave.

'So you gonna stand there 'til dawn or you got something to say?'

'I can't wait,'

'I know…'he interrupted.

'Cos I want it now.' She spoke over him.

'..this…' he stopped abruptly. 'Pete?' he said now his voice barely audible.

'Sent packing, sad thing is it didn't take that long, I think he knew it was coming.' She said fiddling with her now bare ring finger where 'diamond de Pete' had set up camp for two weeks.

'Sam, what about…'

'Jack.' She said sincerely holding his gaze, 'You said it was simple, and when you look at it, when you look into you heart it is.'

He smiled softly.

'I love you, it's one simple thing that has been in my heart for years and though I may have ignored it, tried to push it away it's always been there.' She looked to the ground slightly embarrassed, and unsettled at his continued quiet.

'I love you.' he said simply.

Nothing existed, not the stars in the sky, not the rules they lived by, it was just them.

No longer being distinguished as two separate people, they where one.

The shining example of true love in its purest form.

No more words where needed, enough had been said, only not enough being done.

With an undeniable unity they settled into each other's arms, revelling in the sheer joy of being with the one you love.

Fingers entwined, her head resting on his shoulder, together they fell in to a calm sleep where there was no darkness, and no dreams were needed because the real thing would be by their side in the waking hours of the day.

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hey well there you go that's it

if you want to read a fic that could proceed this check out 'waking

strange thing I wrote this before I even got the idea for 'Loving in Darkness'

aww well I guess that's just how it goes.

Mishy mo

xxxxxxx