Author's Note: Hey there to all the people who reviewed. Thank you so much. This is my first fic, and I never thought I would get so much support. You rock. I have also re-edited the end of this chapter because I thought it was a little too graphic. So now it's all hunky-dory! Well, more hunky than dory, really. I think its faboo about halfway down, too.

Chapter 6

There was hush about the Massive. The crew of the central control room, nerve center of the flagship of the mighty Irken armada, the very place where the fate of worlds was decided, trembled in fear before the towering wrath of its masters. The Tallest were not amused.

"Who stole the last spooge-cake?" bellowed one overlord of all Irkdom, holding a sacrilegiously empty plate up for all to see. "Huh? HUH?"

"We know it was one of you!" screamed the other, addressing the many smaller Irkens paralyzed with fear at their stations. "Confess! Sinners!"

"We'll give you till the count of three!"

"And then it's out the airlock for all of you!" Roared the Tallest, choking with snack deprived fury.

"Sir…" communications drone second class Git whimpered.

"It was you!" screeched the closest Tallest, whirling around. He pressed a button on his arm console, and the meager but loyal Irken's chair plummeted into a hidden hatch on the ground.

"Uh, maybe we should have heard him out…" the other Tallest said, putting a hand on his comrade's shoulder.

"But he stole our snacks, a crime against all Irkens everywhere! Let one get away, and we'd have chaos!" the first replied, as Git's squirming form slid by the viewport.

"Actually, sir…" communications drone second class Git's commanding officer Kax said. The tallest turned to him, fiery rage burning, finger poised over the button.

"There's-a-transmission-from-earth-it's-Zim-please-don't-send-me-out-the-airlock-I'll-be-your-friend-oh-please!" Kax squeeled, throwing his arms up in a useless defensive gesture.

"Zim? Good, if I can't find out who stole the snack, we can at least take it out on him! Onscreen!"

Zim's face appeared. He seemed to be grunting with exertion.

"My…huff…tallest. So…good…to…see you…"

"What is it Zim, we're having a snack related crisis here, and we're not in the mood for games. Why are you out of breath, anyway?"

"I'm sorry, my Tallest. I have…become fused with an Earthenoid dirt-child. My, uh, arch-nemesis, in fact. He is…quite heavy. I think due to his enormous skull, so full of useless brains!"

"Zim, I'm sure that I'll regret asking, but how did you…no, I already regret asking."

"My Tallest, the scans of our, um, conjoined areas indicate that simply amputating either one of us would be fatal to both. I request immediate use of the research facilities on Vort in order to find a brilliant solution."

"The last time you were on Vort you set back the evolution of our species two-hundred years, Zim. And you sent a computer virus throughout the empire that caused all snack dispensers to only dispense boxes of raisins. For ten years. I hate raisins, Zim. We all do…now."

Zim looked at them quizzically.

"Don't you remember? The Great Raisining? The Time of Shriveling Terror? The second darkest chapter in Irken history, after Impending Doom I?

"Hmmm, ah well, I guess I wasn't paying attention. So nice to go over past accomplishments though. What of my request?" Intoned Zim.

"Request denied, Zim." Sneered one of the tallest. "There's snack thievery about, and the last thing we need is…hey, is that a spooge-cake in your hand?"

"Huh?" Zim stopped munching on the cake he had been absently eating for the last few moments.

"Where did you get it?"

"I, uh, found it…in a dog…gotta go."

"Hhhrrrggg!" Zim mused angrily, staring at the still unconscious earth-boy stuck to his pelvis. "This is horrible!"

"Computer!"

"Yes?" sighed the computer, evidently interrupted wishing it was still a young calculator back on Calculatrix, birthplace of machine intelligence and home to the galaxy's most user-friendly moose.

"Are you certain that there is no way to remove the Dib monster without permanently killing me?"

"A-hem, after taking hundreds of scans of your…" (The computer shuddered, electronically, a feature it requested in its last remote software upgrade.) "…innards, I have come to the conclusion that you and the human have become inseparable. Not only did your serum-"

"My brilliant serum!" corrected Zim, folding his arms triumphantly.

"Uh, right. Your serum somehow fused both sets of internal organs, which explains how you're still, you know, alive and stuff."

"Hmmm" Zim squinted one eye and placed his hand under his chin. From a distance, it looked like he was thinking. "Which organs?"

"Well, as you can see…" said the computer, displaying an anatomical chart, "You now have one set of renal organs, intestines, liver, procreative organs, squiddly-spooge, blaxo-"

"WHAT !?" cried Zim. "What do you mean procreative organs?"

"Look for yourself." yawned the computer, making a mental note to apply for the ability to e-vomit in the next upgrade.

"With black-gloved hands trembling ever so slightly, Zim prodded the "area" where he and Dib connected. There was something there. Something…horrible. Zim suppressed a shudder. The shudder, knowing it had but moment to complete its revulsion-expressing task, quickly regrouped and looked for another avenue of escape. Zim sneezed in disgust. Odd. The thing seemed to be stirring beneath the black fabric of their clothes.

"We'll have none of that, earth-filth!" Zim screamed, and punched Dib in the balls, hard. A blinding, agonizing, other-worldly pain filled Zim's belly. Dib's eyes snapped open as both of them howled in pain, and then both passed out.

GIR trotted into the room, picked up the half eaten spooge cake, and trotted out. It had been one of those days.