Chapter 9

            Zim cocked his eye at Dib. "Well what?"

            "Huh?" murmured Dib.

            "You  blanked out there, just now. You said 'well…' and then stood there, staring into space.

            "Oh, yeah, that is weird." Dib furrowed his brow.

            "Were you waiting for something?" asked Zim, looking at the earth-boy confusedly.

            "No, no. Just thought I wouldn't have to think of something right away, for some reason. Oh well."

            "So you don't have any ideas. At all." queried the Invader.

            "Nope, none. You?"

            "I have a Million genius plans!" cried Zim, shaking his fists in the air.

            "But not for this…" sighed Dib.

            "Not as such, no." admitted Zim.

            Dib glanced at his watch. "You know what helps me think? Watching Mysterious Mysteries™."

            Gir, who had been busy trying to stuff himself into a turkey, jumped up, spewed a remote from his head, and plopped himself down in front of the giant view-screen. Mysterious Mysteries came on, the bearded and bespectacled host just beginning his introduction. Zim and Dib waddled over to sit awkwardly beside Gir.

            "Tonight on Mysterious Mysteries," the host intoned, staring feverishly into the camera "We uncover the TRUTH about the Loch-ness monster. Is it a dinosaur, or a secret Scottish military aircraft? But first, the AMAZING story of Siamese twins, once fused, who, through a strange and MYSTERIOUS process, are now separated and leading normal lives!"

            "Oh wow! What are the odds?" cried Dib. "I mean, to be watching the show at exactly the right moment? This is great, now, to find out-"

            "I wanna watch color-bars!" shrieked Gir, and flipped the channel to the color bar station, all color-bars, all the time.

            The ensuing brawl lasted several minutes, and resembled something like a giant caterpillar mating with a monkey. It sounded something like this: "Gir, I command you!...Give it here…Hey, you're on my side…I wanna cheese whistle!...Stop poking us there…Stop I love this show!...Got it!" It was also nicely lit in hues ranging from red to green to blue. Suffice it to say that when the remote was finally under Dib's control, the presenter was just wrapping up:

            "And that is how two men, joined at the hips, were able to free themselves. For more information, wait for this episode to air again.

            "Gir." Said Zim. "You're a bad robot. A bad, bad robot."

            "Yay!"