disclaimer ...Not mine ...sadly. All JK's.
a/n ...It's a bunch of diary entries, kind of,thus the italics. Hurray. Very short, very random. Narcissa's POV.

We're cold.

Cold is all we're ever going to be; liquid frost clinging to my eyelashes, his hands pale and cold and so very frozen.

We're going to grow old. We're going to have the beauty seep out of us; we're going to bleed beauty that is just as precious as the iron-scented scarlet in our veins.

Blood was always precious. And it never is, you know.

"There's an afterlife," cousin Siri used to say to me, "and you and Malfoy are going to pay back for what you've done - the Lestranges, too. You're going to suffer forever for your sins." Sirius was never religious, he just wanted to hate me, I think, just wanted to hate Bella. His family.

But since when did I sin? And since when was there forever?

We're going to be cold - we're going to grow old - we're going to be lost souls. We're going to hate ourselves, says Lucius.

I told him I already do. He laughed and said, "That's the spirit, my dear."

Since when was I his dear?

Lucius told me that last night they went to the Ministry. Lucius told me that they didn't kill Potter, that he escaped again. Lucius told me that Bella killed my cousin Sirius, that they didn't get the prophecy that the Dark Lord wanted so badly.

Serves him right, I said.

"Him?" Lucius inquired. "'Him' as in Sirius Black, or the Dark Lord?"

I didn't answer.

I remember how Draco asked me, when he was, oh, four and so naive, whether I loved his Father or not.

"Your father," I informed him, "is very beautiful."

I didn't answer the question, little Draco chided me.

So I told him, "I married Lucius, an arranged marriage. He was wonderful, perfect - still is, maybe. I do my duty, I try to please him." Draco was silent, so I continued, blandly, "Your Father is a bad friend - a bad father, a bad husband. He is empty."

"Are you empty too?"

"I try to please him," I repeated.

"Do you try to please you?" Draco wanted to know.

Glassy-eyed, I said finally: "I try to be strong."