Wednesday 27th October
11.42 a.m. Ahhh. Doing Yoga. Hommm, homm, calm and flooowing.
11.57 a.m. Ow. Mutti came in and tripped over me! Oh so painful...but I must be calm, and flowing, so I will be glowing serenely by the time the gang come over to do our girlish-type things.
12.03 p.m. Mutti handed the phone to me. It was Alex. Again. Does she have no life?? (Don't answer that question.)
"Alex, why are you calling me again? I was doing my yoga!"
"I know. My dad could see you from his window so he started doing his own kind of "yoga". We don't think the damage is permanent, but I suggested to my Mohair that we take him to hospital anyway."
"Your...what?"
"My Mohair. My mum."
"Oh, right. I call my mum my Mutti."
"I see."
"Yes."
"I can see you from my window." I looked out the window and there she was, leaning on the windowsill and waving for England. She was wearing purple lipstick. Good Lord.
"I...er...like your lippy."
"Thanks!! Well, I have to be off, but I'll come round later, OK? I'm going to a gig tonight, though, so I can't stay long. Bye!"
Oh Holy Jebus in Himmel. She will be at the gig! The Gang will be exposed to her bespectacled freakosity!! Will they ever recover?
Non, is the answer to that question.
4.34 p.m. The Gang are here. But not a whiff of glasses or blonde insania. I am all jumpy, I can't even concentrate on putting this face pack on. See what you have done to me, Alex!!
5.10 p.m. Someone's knocking on the door!! Mutti is yelling for me to answer it. As if I didn't have enough to do, trying to make sure I don't accidently cut off my nails because of my nervosity. Why do I have such a caring nature?
5.34 p.m. When I opened the door Alex yelled "SUPRISE!!" and jumped on me. She is still wearing the Libbs hat. And the lippy. And she's wearing a blue bikini top and black jeans. HELP ME BUDDAH!!
5.57 p.m. I was sooo freaky-deaked out by Alex that I didn't think for one second that the Gang would actually LIKE her – but they do!! She says she's never put a face pack on. Even though she is sixteen. We are educating her on the ways of the sane world.
6.37 p.m. Alex called her mates to say that she won't be meeting them to go to the gig, because she's going with us. I was agog as seven gogging gogs.
"There are MORE of you?!"
"Well, yes, I have some friends." She said demurely, rubbing off the purple lippy and putting some black (!) lippy on.
"What are they like?"
"Well, there's Nikki and Amie and Alex, they're all insane, and, er, CJ and Minka and Holly, they're all insane too...so, yeah."
Nikki, Amie and Alex are going to the gig. We have to call OUR Alex Lexi to stop the confusosity. Even though apparently Nikki and Amie call the other Alex Lexi as well. It is all bringing on a little bit of stupid brain.
6.48 p.m. We were about to go downstairs when Ellen suddenly noticed what Alex was wearing.
"Aren't you going to get changed?" she said.
"No." Alex was wearing the black jeans and the bikini top, bright pink lipstick and a fake lip piercing, lots of black eyeliner, weird dangly earrings in the shape of guitars, yellow (!) trainers and her Libbs hat.
"Don't you want to wear anything a little more...normal?"
"This is normal." She said innocently. Ellen didn't say anything; she just looked at the Libbs hat.
7.17 p.m. At the groovy bananas gig!! Alex met her friends and went off to dance with them somewhere, and le Gang of Fab are just hanging out...well, Ellen is still in a bit of a weird mood about Dave the L, and Rosie's worried about Sven, but at least they are dancing.
7.34 p.m. Oh God, this is embarrassing. Alex came over just now and made me dance with her...not just ordinary groovy dancing, COSSACK dancing. I am emotionally and (probably) physically scarred.
10.56 p.m. In bed. It was all surprisingly fun, really. Tom was there, so Jas went off to the snack table (top romantic location) with him. Ellen and Rosie went off to the loos, so I was all on my larry until Alex and her mates made me dance with them. They are living in a town a little south of Groovsville, Arizona, more like Loonsville, Arizona. But Cossacks will be Cossacks.
11.04 p.m. What in Buddha's name am I on about?!
12.32 a.m. Dave the L. wasn't at the gig. Why do I care? It's Ellen who should care. And I'm sure she does. Muchly. Ahhh, stupid brain, stupid brain.
12.52 a.m. Libby has come to join me, with her "fwends" (thank God Angus got rid of Angus Baby, or it would be even MORE hard to get to sleep)
1.32 a.m. Sitting on the windowsill. Thinking. Libbs has finally gone to sleep. I can see Alex, she's still got her curtains open. She's sitting on her bed, playing her guitar. Like the SG in a skirt.
1.35 a.m. Erlack, that sounds lezzie!! I don't mean that I think of her as an SG. It's the whole guitar thing.
1.53 a.m. Still on the windowsill. Talking to Alex. She came out and sat on her windowsill so she could talk. We opened the windows, obviously, or there would be a lot of mime involved. Somehow I have found myself telling her the whole SG-Dave the L-Ellen etc story. It is probably because I am under the influence of alcohol. Even though I haven't drunk anything alcoholic. It is just the mysterious way in which Buddha works. Like Dad, when he's putting up sheds or shelves or fences, and he calls it "DIY". A mystery to anyone, I'm sure you'll agree.
3.32 a.m. Finally back in "my" bed. I have about three centimetres of space – Libby is lying all stretched out in the middle of the mattress, with her fwends around her. It was weird and sort of cleansing, telling everything to Alex. I think she fell asleep against the side of the window at one point, but I just raised my voice a bit and she started nodding and blinking again. At one point Angus actually climbed her drainpipe and sat in her lap. It is another of life's unanswerable questions. Libbs and Alex must have some kind of animal magnet thinger. Like I am a babe magnet. Except with animals. Like Mark, BG, my ex. Oh God, more stupid brain.
Eh, I think I am losing my hilariosity 0.o Anyway, THANK YOU FOR MY ONE REVIEW NIKKI!! Please, guys, review more!