Disclaimer:  Do I seriously have to say it?  I'm too tired.......

Warning:  None that I know of yet...

Rating:  Only PG-13 for language ((will only change if reviewers request it…))

Pairings:  H/D/Hr (main pairing, but won't be till near the end…), Hr/R, H/OC, GW/BZ, SS/RL, SB/RL (mentioned…), D/Hr ((you all don't like the pairings, don't read.  other wise, I encourage you!!!))

Feedback:  Would Love It!!!

AN:  K, here's the 2nd chapter of my repost.  Hope you all like the first chapter.  In this chapter you get to find out what's all going on and in the next, it'll be goin' into more detail with what everyone's been up to since the war ended.  Hope you all like this chapter, enjoy!

Ps Note:  In this chapter, there were A LOT of mistakes, which kinda makes me happy that I reposted this story.  For all of you ppl who have read this story already and kinda some differences with the last story in comparative to this chapter, you all know why.  But I hope you like it just as much as last time.  Thx!

Still Have All of Me:   Away From Me

//Harry's PoV//

Well, here I go... As the saying goes, "Here goes nothing!"  I'm finally free... I hope.  I don't really think I could go back now, not now.  Even if I wanted to.  I left for a reason, and I'll uphold myself to my promise that I made and make sure that it's never broken or provoked as long as I can.  I'm confusing you, aren't I?  Well, I suppose I should start from where it will make sense...

It all started one day, when I was sitting in the Astronomy Tower, just looking over the landscape of Hogwarts.  It was quiet, which was no surprise considering it was near six in the morning.  I had another of those horrid nightmares that Voldemort seemed to have sent me on a regular basis.  Whether it was purposeful or not, I will never know.  All I knew were the horrendous images that would never leave my head, for as long as I lived.  They were my eternal nightmares, I guess.  Not even the dreamless sleep potions were working for me anymore.  Quite revolting really, and scary.  I'm surprised that I've made it through the amount of my life that I have with those images.  And I should've been used them by now considering how many I've watched.  Too bad life never seems to work that way for me, huh?

But as I sat there, watching the sun come over the horizon of the Forbidden Forest, the door creaked.  Which scared the bloody hell out of me considering I thought it was Filch and that blasted cat of his.  But to my surprise, it wasn't.  Instead it was Draco.  It didn't seem like he was paying attention to where he was, or where he was going for that matter, because he just walked right in and sat in another seat about ten feet away from me.

~*~ I hold my breath as this life starts to take its toll
I hide behind a smile as this perfect plan unfolds
But oh, God, I feel I've been lied to
Lost all faith in the things I have achieved
And I ~*~

"What are you doing up, Potter?" he asked, startling me even more than I already was.  "Isn't the wizarding world's savior supposed to be sleeping and catching up on his rest for that big battle of ours?"

'Always the cocky one,' I thought bitterly.  "Oh sod off, Malfoy.  And besides, why aren't you in bed?  Or are you wimping out on us and running away so you don't get your precious arse hurt?"  I always was the one for smartass comebacks when I was never in the mood for out little bickers.

"I'm seriously not in the mood for another bicker."  I swear, he read my mind.  "I just want some peace and quiet."

"And you couldn't get that back in your dorms?"

"Not when you have Grabbe and Goyle sleeping in the same dorm room as you."

I couldn't help but snicker as his comment.  I knew he was getting sick of them and all.  But could they seriously be that loud, even when they sleep?... Actually, come to think of it, they could probably be louder.

"So seriously, Potter.  Why are you up so early?  I figured you'd want your sleep."

I looked back out the window, once again watching the dawn.  "I just couldn't sleep anymore.  Too much going around, I guess..."

I could sense Draco staring at me, almost as though debating what he could possibly be thinking.  And when I heard the chair that he was sitting in move slightly, and his footsteps coming closer to me, you could see how surprised I was to see him taking a seat next to me at the windowsill.  But for some strange reason... I didn't mind.  It felt... almost reassuring.  I know, it's strange.  But hey, have you ever known me to be normal?

We were quiet for a few moments.  Just relishing in the fact that we had actually found someone who would be quiet enough to let the other think without feeling bombarded by idiocy.  I mean sure, I get that enough with Hermione and Ron, but... I don't know.  Not like this, I guess.  This was just... different.  Ok, so it's hard to explain.  But not everything is easy to comprehend, so why must everything be easy to explain?  It's just pointless... And I'm babbling, aren't I?  I seriously need to control myself on that.

After about fifteen minutes, Draco spoke again.  Surprising me out of my sudden stupor.  "Potter, mind if I ask you something?"

"Um... Sure."

"...... This war... Do you find it useless?"

I was confused by his question.  What did he mean by it?  Useless?  Of course I did!  Didn't everyone!?  But I answered best I could, without confusing myself even more in the process.  "I suppose so," I began, wording everything in my head as I went along.  "I mean, sure.  Who doesn't really?  All it's really about is a Dark Lord trying to over-throw all off the wizarding world.  And yet... I don't know.  I kind of feel that this war needs to happen in order for everyone to finally realize what peace is anymore, or could be like anyway.  That without it, people are just going to feel like they're a little pawn to be played in a large game of 'Reality Bites'.

"Seriously, though, I've never been quite sure.  I have these ups and downs that just run through my head day in and day out that I've never fully formulated my own opinion on it... Do you get what I mean at all?"

"I suppose so.  Personally, I never really had one of my own either.  It's always been like 'find out about Voldemort', 'chase the death-eaters', and 'protect the infamous Harry Potter' that I've never really considered one either..."

"Why are you fighting in this war, Malfoy?" I asked without even realizing I had said it.

Draco looked up at me, his eyes ablaze with fury.  And what he said to me, I never expected.  "Why do you?  Why do you continue to be the-boy-who-lived?  Why do you choose the Light over the Dark?  It's like one of those muggle phrases... 'Why is the sun yellow?  Why is the grass green?  Why does it rain?  Snow?  Summer?  Winter?  Spring?  Fall?'  Seriously, Potter.  I may be a Slytherin, but I'm smart enough to know who the winners are.  And who really I should trust.  Not some old crazed maniac who thinks that he can have everything and in the end will only eliminate his own self being by fighting some of the world's strongest wizards ever known to this century.  Think about it, Potter.  Do you seriously think that I would take the Dark Mark and be one of Voldemort's little slaves who run around and do as he orders me too?  You've got to be nuts to ever think such a thing from me!"

"I get the point Malfoy..."

~*~ I've woken now to find myself
In the shadows of all I have created
I'm longing to be lost in you
(away from this place I have made)
Won't you take me away from me ~*~

I was shocked by all he had said.  When had Malfoy become an ally for the light?  When had he changed his mind about everything that he always said he believed in?  That he lived for?  It was almost too much to take at once.  But surprisingly enough, I felt comfortable knowing that we had him on our side, alleviating really.

I got up to leave, it really was getting late, or early, however you want to look at it.  And I seriously needed to get back to my own bed before everyone started to wake up.  But as I reached the middle of the room, I was stopped as Draco grabbed onto my wrist.  I turned to look at him, protest that he let go of me.  But the look in his eyes made me stop.

... I wasn't sure what I saw.  Was it curiosity?  Fear?  Anguish?  Confusion?  Or something else?  But I never did figure it out.  "What?" I asked as his eyes roamed through my own, as though he was trying to piece together a scrambled puzzle that lay in my eyes.

He shook his head.  "I was just looking..."

"... At what?"

He was silent for a moment.  I would've given anything to know what he was thinking.  He always did intrigue me about things like that.  "... I'm not too sure."

My eyebrows furrowed together questioningly.  'What did he mean?' my mind reeled.  But I didn't care.  One look into his grey-blue eyes, and I was hooked.  I just wanted to take him into my arms and ravish his lips under my own, and just claim him as mine... And that's exactly what I did.  But... not as rough as I made it sound.

Instead, after freeing my wrist from Draco's grasp, I held his face within my hands and pulled him closer so that my lips just barely stroked over his own.  His lips were cool, but never cold, against my warm ones.  And the contrast felt... accelerating.  But when I heard him gasp, I began to pull away, not sure if I should've even attempted that.  But as I was, he leaned forward, embracing his lips with my own again.

But the kiss was timid, almost afraid.  But I don't blame him.  I had only started feeling for him... I don't know how long ago and now here I am kissing him.  Something I would've never figured.  And I wanted more, but I didn't go any faster.  I may have initiated it, but I would only go as fast as Draco wanted me to.  And since I didn't want to lose the only thing that I could possibly ever get out of him, I just took in the moment and let him do as he pleased.

And when I felt his tongue slid over my lips, I didn't hesitate and my own lips part; my tongue met him half way.  We were slow at first.  Letting each other's tongues get used to the feel of the others.  And as the kiss became harder, he wrapped his arms loosely around my waist, both of my hands returning to hold his face in place.  I didn't want this to end.  It was so good that I just wished I could die then so that my last memory was that of this.  But I knew that I shouldn't be doing this.  That we shouldn't be doing this.  We'd both probably regret it later... Or at least he would.  And I didn't want him to hate me after the fact that I just got his loyal trust in friendship, and I seriously did not want to lose that.  So I pulled away quickly, dropping my hands to my sides as I took a careful step away from him.

I noticed that his breath was in short gasps, as was mine.  We both attempted to gain our composures back, straightening out robes.  When I looked back at him, regret began filling my eyes.  "I'm sorry…" I mumbled as I stared into the deep icy orbs. "I… I shouldn't have….. I should go…"

So I turned to leave... Not that I wanted to.  But as my hand reached the door knob, I heard my name; "Harry!" the voice called out.  And truthfully, it shocked me.  No one else was in the room, so I knew it had to be Draco.  I turned to look at him, almost sure that my confusion was radiating itself from me.  I looked into his eyes, noticing his deep breaths before he continued to speak.  "… Be careful out there… you know, when you leave to fight…. I know how they work. I don't…"

I smiled despite myself.  'So, he really did care?' I thought to myself.  "Thanks… Draco," I said back, purposefully slipping his name through. "I will." And taking one last look into his icy blue eyes, I turned, opened the door and left.  Willing myself not to run back into that room and just tasting those lips against with my own.

Ever since then, Draco and I would glance at each other knowingly when we knew no one else was looking.  We'd smile, then turn back to whatever it was we were doing as though nothing ever happened.  We even made civil conversations around others without having to want to tear the other's throat out.  We'd mainly talk about the future war with others who were to be participating in it along with us.  Time with him almost seemed... endless.  I know it seems strange.  But could you seriously blame me?

But then the war began, and the knowing glances had ended and were placed with placid faces only meant for this war.  Our civil conversations ended and talk about strategies had begun.  And I don't know why, but I felt out of place when it all began.  Sure, I was the-boy-who-lived, the ever-going hero who would save them all from the darkness and show them mercy to where they needed it.  But it just didn't seem right.  Like I just shouldn't have been there.  So, as a way to settle this uncertainty, I made a plan.  A plan to get out and hide from this rigid state of mind.  Sure, I'll help with the war until I'm not needed anymore, then just... leave.

~*~ Crawling through this world as disease flows through my veins
I look into myself, but my own heart has been changed
I can't go on like this
I loathe all I've become ~*~

And even though I fought with myself to stay, to stay for Draco and hope he returns my feelings... But something inside of me couldn't live with the fact that if it wasn't for me, Voldemort wouldn't be doing all of this.  If I just had died when I should've, with my parents... then everyone who had risked their lives for me... they'd still be here.  Alive.  I just couldn't live with the fact that most of those innocent deaths were my fault because Voldemort tried his best to get to me that he went through everyone else.

I mean sure, you have everyone sitting there telling me it wasn't my fault.  And yet, the fact that because I lived... err; I don't even want to get into it anymore.  Just the frustration of it all is getting to me.  So, back to the plan at hand...

The plan was, after the war had ended, I'd get out of there before anyone even realized that I was still alive.  And by doing so, I placed everything that I cared for at stake because of a single being that wouldn't ever seem to leave me alone.  Just before the end of the war, I had made up a Polyjuice potion with my own hair and I would give it to someone else as the war ended.  But as the war proceeded, any hope for me to be able to administer it to anyone almost became hopeless.  I watched as Hermione was put into danger and how Ron had run in front of her to save her life... I watched as one of my best friends died and the other catch him as he fell... The scared look in her eyes as she checked for her fiancée's pulse and cried out in agony as she found none.

I felt broken then and there as I realized that people I cared most for were dying.  All because of this stupid, God damn war!  Why did this all have to happen?!  Why did all of the innocent people always have to die?!  I just felt lie screaming, but instead I continued to fight, determined to finish off the little bastard who had started this all to begin with.

The war was almost over as I stood there, in front of Voldemort himself, our wands raised towards each other in defense.  He said a few words to me, probably words like "Prepare to die" and "Any last words?"  You know, every enemies classic line.  But I toned him out.  I was determined to make it through this so I could still get on with my life and not worry about him still being there to haunt every witch, wizard, and muggle that crossed paths with the monster.

And when I saw him swish his wand and yell out "Avada Kedavra", I instantly reacted, bringing down my wand and yelling the same two words.  I watched as the two green lights clashed into one another.  And I don't know how I had managed it, but mine seemed to somehow surpass his as it hit him straight in the chest, causing one hell of an explosion as his seemed to go directly back for him.  This seemed to catch everyone else's attentions as they saw the green light explode into a mad frenzy, giving me enough time to get out of there without being seen.  And when the light did dissipate, the shock that spread across each of their faces became relentless as they saw the ashes of what was left of Voldemort slowly blow away... but not me.

So the rest of the Death Eaters were rounded together and sent to Azkaban for life, each receiving the kiss; while the others who could still manage to move into the castle left for the safety of those grounds.  When I felt it was safe enough to walk around the deserted plains of the many dead bodies, which were so many that I just lost count, I got out from a small hiding place at the edge of the Forbidden Forest and went searching around for anyone who could still be even the slightest bit alive.  And lucky enough, I did.

It was one of the bravest Hufflepuffs we had in this war.  And just seeing the agony on the man's face made me want to scream... Almost, but I was smart enough to keep that in.  But I guess he saw me because he tried to speak, which only led to a coughing fit.  This man was dying, and I knew it... And so did he.  I bent down next to him, taking in a quick glance at his brutally beaten body.  I felt so much quilt and sudden pain for this man that I felt so sorry that he was still alive to have to live through it.

~*~ I've woken now to find myself
In the shadows of all I have created
I'm longing to be lost in you
(away from this place I have made)
Won't you take me away from me ~*~

But when I saw the sad smile that he held for me, I couldn't help but give him the smile back.  Then I remembered what I was doing this for, and I almost lost the courage to do it.  "Look, I know you want to die in peace," I begin to say in a light whisper, "but do you think you could do me one last favor?"  I saw the questioning look in his eyes, knowing he probably couldn't talk without coughing to the point where he couldn't breathe, so I answered his unspoken question.  "Just between you and me, I don't plan on staying here."  I saw the confusion appear throughout his eyes next.  "Kind of hard to explain.  So I'll just keep it short... I want to be claimed as dead so I can leave and live a normal life and not be searched after.  And I was wondering if you could help be in this by taking a Polyjuice potion that will make you look like me.  It should last long enough until you....."  I couldn't say the last word.  It just didn't want to come out.  But he understood what I meant as he just smiled and nodded his head, letting me know he would.  I smiled at him, my own little silent thank you.

I took out the potion from my robe pocket, uncorking it.  I helped lift his head so he could drink it and watched as his face twisted and turned until he looked like me.  And truthfully, it looked weird looking at a dying me.  Creepy too.  I took out my wand, changing his robes to Gryffindors.  When everything else was set, I remembered one last thing I wanted him to hold onto so it would be seen when he was found.  So reaching into my robes again, I took out a letter that I had written the night before that said "Draco Malfoy" on the front.

"Here," I put it in his hand, so he could take hold of it better, "I want this to be given to someone later, so I might as well give it to you to hold onto until you're found."  He just nodded his head again, holding onto it tightly so he wouldn't lose it.  I looked at him a few more minutes, just watching him slip away.  "Thank you, by the way... For doing this...... You'll always be remembered.  I'll make sure of that, somehow.  And I'm sorry you had to go through all of this."

He only smiled again, his eyes telling me not to worry about.  Then I watched as his eyes closed, his breathing became steady...... then he was gone.  And I just continued to sit there for a moment, looking down at the still version of me.  But when I heard others coming, probably to look for survivors, I quickly ran in another direction.  I took one more look behind me, seeing that the others had found the copy of myself, the look of sadness washing across all of their faces.

I still needed to get into the castle, so I snuck in another way that not many people knew of and tried my best not to get caught as I made my way to the Gryffindor Common Room.  Lucky enough, no one was there, so I had no trouble getting into my room and getting what I wanted, which was my invisibility cloak, photo album, and whatever else I felt like.  When everything was in my bag, I pulled the cloak around me and descended to where I knew everyone would be... The Great Hall.

~*~ Lost in a dying world I reach for something more
I have grown so weary of this lie I live ~*~

As I entered, I knew that Draco has received my letter because he and Hermione were sitting with one another on the middle of the room, just holding onto each other as they cried.  Something inside of me almost snapped as I walked up to them.  I almost hesitated as I bent down and wrapped both of my arms around them.  We sat that way for a moment.  They both somehow knew that I was there, maybe not in body, but at least in spirit.  When I finally felt like I had been there long enough, I whispered so only they could hear me, "You two will never lose me.  Ron and I will always be in your hearts.  Remember that.  I love you both, very much.  Goodbye..."  And then I let go and backed away.  I saw the looks on their faces as I whispered that.  But they both seemed to smile slightly at what I told them and just held onto each other tighter.  Knowing that they had the other to comfort them.  And I, myself, couldn't help but smile at them as I made my quiet exit.

I stayed until the ceremonies for everyone who had died.  Hermione received a metal of honor for her part in the war.  She also received Ron's plaques and metals of honor and bravery, as well as saving another's live over his own.  I could see the despair in her eyes as she accepted his awards and sat back down with Draco, whom she had become rather close to since the end of the war.  I wasn't the least bit surprised when Draco was called up to receive the plagues and metals that belonged to me.  When they were handed to him, he just looked over all of them, brushing his fingers over the front of a plague.  He slowly made his way back to his seat, tears brimming his eyes as he just continued to just look at nothing more than what was handed to him.

When the ceremonies were over, I took that as my leave.  I didn't even take a single glance behind me as I flew one of the school brooms (which I knew no one would miss) and disappeared over the Forbidden Forest.

~*~ I've woken now to find myself
In the shadows of all I have created
I'm longing to be lost in you
(away from this place I have made)
Won't you take me away from me ~*~

So here I am, sitting here and writing away about what all happened.  Long story, huh?  But as I was leaving, and even as I sit here, I promised myself that I wouldn't return there; not unless someone were to find me.  And I seriously don't think that'll happen anytime soon.  So now I get to start at the beginning again.  Start all over and on my own without having to worry about what was to become of me if I had stayed.  I mean sure, I do miss everyone that I had there.  And I always will.  But I'm not about to back down from what I had started the moment I ran away from Voldemort as he was dying.

I just hope that I have the bravery that I had when I began all of this.  And I just hope that I'll be able to forget all I had, all I cared for and go on with life...

Let's just hope I have the strength to say goodbye...

~*~ TBC ~*~

A.N.  Here you all are!  Chapter two!

YOU ALL THOUGHT I REALLY KILLED HARRY, DIDN'T YOU?!?!?!!?!?!?!?  Well, some of you fell for it anyway... But I didn't.  So no hurting me!  I hope you all liked this chapter, though!  Question though....

Was it well put together?  I wasn't too sure because I wrote this when I was half asleep.  So most parts sound weird and/or misplaced.  And if it does, tell me and I'll fix it, K?  Thx!  And Please Review!!!  Ttylaterz!!!!!

THX TO MY REVIEWERS (old and new)!!  GLAD YOU ALL LIKE IT SO FAR!!!  J

~~~  Blue Rosed Dragon  @}:-