Complicated

by April CK

Dragonball Z characters, settings and items are all registered trademarks of at least Bird Studios.

"but you've become somebody else, round everyone else. Watchin' your back, like you can't relax. Tryin' to be cool - you look like a fool to me. Tell me, why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?"

-quote from the song that inspired the title, Complicated by Avril Lavigne.

Muffled curses hung in the air. Below them a young woman crouched, resting her elbows on her kneecaps with her head bowed while she caught her breath. So close... She stood up a little too quickly, whimpered and did her best to scowl instead of wince. So damn close...

In the distance a pair of orange dots chased each other through the sky. Videl couldn't help but feel mocked. They made flying look so easy.

What is wrong with me? Why can't I...? With an inaudible sigh, Videl shook her head and put some conscious effort into unclenching her fists. Irritated, she shifted her weight onto her left ankle and brushed the dirt out of her clothes. Her right ankle was swelling. She'd twisted it with her most recent fall. Videl gritted her teeth and closed her eyes. She was determined to ignore the pain that was creeping up her spine.

She wanted this too badly. She wasn't going to stop until she'd learned to fly.

Videl had always been different from her peers. A little stronger, a little more outspoken. It wasn't traditional for girls to fight and it was even less traditional for them to be any good at it. Videl had always been viewed as the rebel. Too boyish, too dominant - not traditional at all. Her identity had come at a price, she'd been shunned for it. Mocked for it. Labeled as a troublemaker and a bringer of bad luck.

It was time to live up to the expectations. Videl didn't want to be normal. Flying was the next step, it would put that much more distance between herself and tradition. If she couldn't fly...

Videl shuddered, took a deep breath and tried to focus.

Tradition demanded that girls sit around giggling, blushing, looking pretty and generally acting braindead. Women got married, women had kids, women took care of the house - and beyond that, women were just part of the scenary. That's how it had always been. Sure, there were a few women who'd broken the mold but the vast majority of females didn't have the resources for it. Not everyone on Earth was as rich as Bulma Briefs. Not everyone on Earth was as dangerous as Android 18 or as magical as Uranai Baba. Not everyone on Earth was as brave as ChiChi, Ranfan and the handful of other women that had entered the tournament before.

Not everyone on Earth could fly.

Come on. Videl scolded herself. I just have to... The energy built around Videl with excuriating slowness, the glow outlining her form was too faint to be seen. It was painfully obvious that Videl wasn't accustomed to using her energy this way. A breeze rippled outward. Eventually both of her feet hovered a couple inches above the ground.

If my Mom could see me now...

Videl faltered, her feet touching the ground as her heart sank. She mentally kicked herself. In her mind, Videl could practically hear her mothers voice and the woman didn't have anything nice to say.

It had been okay for Videl to be different when she had been a little kid. Whenever she'd come home all scuffed up from playground battles - some more serious than others - her mother had said things like "kids will be kids" and "I'm sure she'll grow out of it" while patiently bandaging Videl up. But then Videl had become a teenager and her mothers tone had changed. Mom had started to say things like "how can you wear that? You look like a boy!", "what will people think?", "why can't you be like other girls?", "is fighting all that matters to you?" and "you're just like your father!"

Then came the worst part. The silence. Videl had woken up one day five years ago in an empty house. Her father had already been at work in his dojo by then and her mother had left without saying a word. A short note on the kitchen counter had made it quite clear that her mother had no intention of coming back.

Videl spent an idle moment staring at her clothes. Tank top under a sweatshirt, shorts that hung down to her knees... It was all two sizes too big for her which made the outfit more comfortable for fighting in. Skin-tight clothing might do wonders for Videls figure but it would also cut off her circulation. And long hair might look nice but it would just get in her face, that's why Videl had cut her hair short.

Her mother had never appreciated that. Her mother had just wanted Videl to be another face in the crowd. A daughter that knew her place and followed traditions. A nice honorable daughter that she could brag about. A kid that would make her look like a better mother than she actually had been.

I am NOT a disgrace. Videl bit back the hot tears that were threatening to fall. If she were ever reunited with her mother, Videl would be torn between the desire to hug the woman and the urge to punch her.

She felt basically the same way about her father. He hadn't always been jerk. Before the Cell Games seven years ago, Mr. Satan had been a virtually unheard of martial artist working multiple jobs so that he could afford to keep his dojo open. He'd been humble back then and constantly frustrated by the existance of stronger warriors. Outside of work, he'd trained like a fiend. He'd become strong enough to haul school buses around which put him far beyond average human strength but it wasn't good enough. It would never be good enough.

Mr. Satan had eventually accepted the facts for what they were and instead of working harder, he'd begun to work smarter. He'd more or less turned himself into a sideshow by doing commercials and stunts. Stuff that wouldn't do much to impress serious warriors but it had impressed the rest of Earths population enough to pay the bills. And then he'd taken credit for defeating Cell.

Who was more to blame? Mr. Satan for wanting to be the hero so badly that he'd lied to get the recognition or the general public for believing his lies? If the media hadn't rewarded his dishonestly, if they hadn't treated him like a hero of Earth - then he'd still be working his dead-end jobs and struggling to support the dojo.

The former Mrs. Satan had endured the change for almost two years before disowning both her husband and her daughter.

Five years ago, Videl had been fourteen. She had been able to confide in her father back then since he had always supported her interest in becoming a warrior. He'd been the one person that had always told her it was okay to be different. Even after becoming the hero of Earth, Mr. Satan had made time for Videl. He didn't anymore. Upon her mothers departure, her father had abruptly become a snob. Mr. Satan had distanced himself from all the people he knew and was still acting like he was too good for anyone.

Or maybe he was just afraid of being hurt again. It was hard to say.

Videl hadn't seen her father much right before the divorce. He'd always been at work. The situation hadn't really changed, only now Mr. Satan was glad to be at work. Sure - the hero bit was a sham but it was a sham that made Mr. Satan feel needed. It made him feel as though he'd accomplished something. He'd told the lies so often that even he was starting to believe them.

And one day, I'll be ready to inherit the legacy. Videl frowned sourly. Except that I'd rather make my own.

Maybe her parents wouldn't be proud of her if she learned to fly but, Videl reminded herself, she wasn't doing it for them. She had to be proud of herself, dammit. She was worth it. She wasn't going to be her mothers little tradition-hugging angel and she wasn't going to be her fathers shadow either. She was just going to be herself.

And yea, she probably wouldn't ever be as good at flying and fighting as certain other people were. Videl could admit that. She knew her limits. She wasn't the strongest person on Earth. Although if every male on the planet suddenly keeled over, Videl was fairly certain that she'd be in the top five.

It wasn't merely about beating the boys though. It was about changing the women.

The 25th Tenkaichi Budoukai, the worlds greatest martial arts tournament, was less than a month away. Videl had watched the 24th tournament take place three years ago. She'd seen how well the media covered the event. She'd seen how huge and crowded the stadium was. Along with the rest of the world, she'd seen her father win.

And if he could win...

It was her turn. Videl was nineteen now and that made her old enough to enter the adult tournament. She knew that if she made it to the finals, she could beat her father.

Videl smirked as she imagined the general publics reaction to the first female Tenkaichi Budoukai champion in recorded history. Oh they'd be shocked. They'd be furious. Women hadn't even been allowed to enter the tournament fifty years ago. The media would probably decide that Mr. Satan must have let his daughter win, as if she couldn't win without her fathers help.

But Videl would know better. And she'd make sure that every single one of her opponents knew better too.

Positive thinking helped. It was true that Videl might not win the tournament but she liked to believe that she could. It motivated her, gave her more of a reason to try.

Her energy fluctuated with her moodswings but Videl wasn't paying attention to her ki and that's exactly what made it work. Flying was one of those processes that became harder when you thought about it too much. While Videl had been brooding about her life situation, the problem of flight had hung over her subconscious like a riddle waiting to be solved and instinctively, she'd solved it.

For several moments Videl was barely aware of what she'd done. Then a bird flew past. Videl blinked. On impulse, she looked down. And regretted it. AHHH! How did I get up here?

She clung to the nearest thing which happened to be a tree branch. After a few tense moments of muted panic followed by intense humiliation, Videl dropped to the ground and sighed. She'd only been about ten feet up. It had just seemed like so much more when she'd been looking down... Of course when there was nothing but air under your feet, it probably always looked like a long way down.

Get a grip Videl. She thought, trying to calm her nerves.

Flying wasn't scary. Unnatural, perhaps, but not scary. Not once you got past the part where the ground fell away from you anyway. No, Videl wasn't afraid of flying. She was just afraid of falling.

"Hey, that wasn't too bad." Someone said pleasantly, "You're getting better."

Videl did her best not to turn beet red with embarrassment. "Oh." She managed to sound casual, "You saw that?"

As if it wasn't bad enough that flying came so easily to certain people... Did they have to be so nice about it? Videl almost would have preferred to have heard the truth - which was that she was awful at flying. The truth wouldn't have made her as nervous. I blackmailed him into teaching me this. Why is he being so nice to me?

"Of course he saw it!" Goten wasn't as prone to sugarcoat things, he sounded exasperated. "He's been watching you all afternoon! I can't even get a decent spar out of him!"

The youth immediately found himself on the recieving end of two unamused warning glares. Goten took the hint and drifted off, grumbling. "Eesh."

From where he was hovering, Gohan coughed to break the awkward silence. "Uhm. You'll have to excuse him..."

"You know, you're distracting me too." Videl heard herself say. She hadn't really meant to blurt it out like that but she wasn't going to apologize because she'd meant it. There was something disturbingly familiar about this kid and it wasn't just that he went to the same school that she did. Walking away from him, Videl added - mostly to herself. "At this rate I'll never be ready in time for the tournament."

"...tournament?" Gohan echoed the last word and arced an eyebrow. "Errr. That wouldn't happen to be the upcoming Tenkaichi Budoukai, would it?"

Videl began to say 'well duh - what other tournament is there?' but the words died in her throat as realization struck. Her eyes widened and her heart skipped a beat. "Oh no. You're entering it too?"

She knew that he could fly, she knew that he ran around fighting crime in Satan City and she'd seen him sparring with his little brother. Videl didn't even recognize Gohan as the destroyer of Cell yet. She didn't have to. She'd seen enough to know that Gohan was one of the few people on Earth who could probably win a Tenkaichi Budoukai simply by virtue of showing up.

"Yea." Gohan smiled, "Guess I'll see you there then."

Was there even any point in training now? Was there any point in learning to fly?

There was a sliver of hope. Anyone under the age of eighteen had to enter the kids tournament. "Please tell me you're seventeen." Videl crossed her fingers.

Gohan gave her a semi-baffled look that he probably reserved for his little brother most the time. "Nope. Sorry. I'm not in the kids tournament."

He might as well have told her that she was hopeless, fighting for a lost cause and doomed to fail.

Videl wondered if kicking him repeatedly would make her feel any better. It was tempting. Although... She hesitated long enough to convince herself that Gohan probably wasn't trying to be cruel. Besides, an unbidden idea popped up her head, he's kinda cute.

She buried her face in her hands and made a gagging noise. AUGH! I can't believe I just thought that! Videl immediately banished the concept of cute from her brain. She had goals and ambitions - 'cute' thoughts weren't going to get her anywhere in life. Stupid hormones!

"...are you okay...?" Gohan sounded concerned.

"YES!" Videl snapped. She turned on her heels and started to stomp away, speaking through gritted teeth. "I. Just. Have. To. Train. Somewhere. Else."

"You're not gonna walk home from here, right?"

Satan City sat on the north-west horizon.

"Would you leave me alone?" Videl snarled, limping slightly as she walked. Her twisted ankle was redefining agony for her but she was far too stubborn to let it show. "I can take care of myself!"

"Uh-huh." Gohan didn't sound convinced. "Why don't..." A handful of pebbles bounced off his aura. "Jeez, I was just saying that..." He sidestepped a boulder and sighed. "Fine. Nevermind!" He turned and left.

Guys, Videls scowl deepened, they're all the same. Well, I'll show them. I'll show everyone.

"I'll fly home." Videl announced to nobody in particular.

Nine days later, as she landed on the doorstep of her house, Videl reflected that walking probably would have been faster. She'd gradually gotten the hang of flight though - for all the good that did her anymore.

Her mood hadn't improved but now most of her anger was directed inward, at herself.

She'd been on the brink of making history, it had been everything she'd dreamt about and worked for... And in a split second, poof. It had all been snatched away. She'd never win a tournament, that's how Videl felt about it now. Perhaps it had been foolish of her to invest so much of her life into such ambitions. Who was she to defy tradition and change the world? What made her so special?

Ugh... Videl slammed the front door behind her and ran up to her room.

Life had been so simple before. She'd had a direction, a plan, a self-esteem. But now... The world was just so complicated and there was no going back to the way things had been. Perhaps it was time to let go of the dream.

Who was more to blame? Videl for wanting to change the world or the world for letting her believe that maybe she could?

A calendar hanging on the wall by her desk reminded Videl that the 25th Tenkaichi Budoukai was only sixteen days away. Videl flopped onto her bed, resting her head on her arms. What am I going to do?

Inwardly she cringed. It was one of the questions that she didn't have an answer for anymore.

Back to The Theater Contact Me