Jay and Alex weren't ever the picture perfect couple, but she always thought that's how he preferred it. He would always be the one calling guys like Spinner and Craig pathetic little sucks, so why did he try to tell her the whole time it didn't feel "real." Whatever. She hated herself for letting it get to her because nothing, not one thing, can justify cheating on her. Especially with Amy and…Cause Girl.
The door to her room opened slightly and her mom's head popped in to tell her she had a visitor. It wasn't rocket science to figure out that it was Jay, and she knew why he was here. To tell her how sorry he was and how much he really did love her. Why doesn't he get it?! For a moment she thought about telling her mom to show him out but instead she yielded and told her to let him in. Maybe he could amuse her. Or something.
"Hi." His voice wasn't as soft as it was quiet but it sounded weird to her and she didn't like it. They didn't talk, they hadn't for weeks, if they conversed in any way it was through her yelling about what a lying selfish bastard he was, so he was used to her not responding to him. Instead he got the why-are-you-here look she had become so good at giving. "Lexi, I meant what I said the other day." She scrunched up her face as if she had just smelled rancid road kill but still didn't look towards him. "But I want it to be real. I don't want to walk around calling each other Honeybee but I want us to be more…together." Somehow he got the nerve to sit at the other end of the bed and it was then that she looked at him with her biting dark eyes.
I want us to be real too, so badly."I don't care what you want anymore." She had far too much pride and a lot of times that was her downfall but she would not let herself be made for a fool, especially not in front of him. I love you. "I just still can't believe you." Her eyes were now tightly closed and she curled herself into a little ball on her bed. There was so much more she wanted to say but wouldn't, after what he did why should she grant him that satisfaction? He got enough of that in the van with her "best friend," apparently.
When she curled up, an area of flesh on her stomach, side, and back was exposed; a lot of it blue and purple, even a tint of yellow surrounded one of the wounds. When his eyes met the infliction, it was like a punch in the stomach and he was left gasping for air. "If you stay here with you horrible step father and drunken mother, I will report them to the police." He knew a threat wouldn't go over well and probably wouldn't make him like him any more, he knew it would get her to come back, if only as a permanent guest who hated him.
She turned quickly and gave him one of the meanest looks he'd ever received in his life and for a moment he thought she was about to attack him. Instead her eyes filled with tears and in almost an instant she was crying. Alex hated crying let alone in front of him so she pulled her shirt down over the bruises and buried her head in her pillow so he couldn't see her tear stained face.
Jay placed his cold hand on her shoulder and waited for her to burst and tell him to keep his filthy hands off her, but she never did. So he gently pulled her up and leaned her against his chest to cry. "You should start packing, we should go soon. I'll go tell your mom." In between sniffles she reluctantly nodded and pushed herself hard away from him. How could he do that? She trusted him with her secrets and now he was using it as blackmail. I don't even know why I love him so much. She thought while packing all her white tanks, grey and blue jackets, and black pants.
All the way to his house she huffed and puffed signifying how angry with him she was, incase he didn't already know. When they approached his house, she burst the door open with unnecessary force, on purpose, before Jay even turned the car off and slammed it closed behind her. Since Jay lived alone he always had plenty of alcohol to drown your sorrows in so she went for that as soon as she got in.
He followed close behind her and gave her a concerned look as she popped open a beer and a bottle of vodka. "What?" It was a tradition of hers to chase her vodka with beer; it fucked you up even more than if you just had the two one after the other and at the moment she needed to get wasted. He shook his head and grabbed the phone off the counter where she fixed her drink and dialed a couple people telling them he was having a party.
When the people arrived she was already pretty drunk and the more people came, the more trashed she'd be. But when she saw Jay talking to some blonde bombshell in the corner, her mind got very clear, too clear. She grabbed some dirty looking kid with spiky brown hair and started grinding herself against him for what seemed like an hour, hoping Jay would look over and get crazy jealous.
She looked back to the corner where he stood earlier, he was with Sean, both of them sipping some beer and looking unmindful and oblivious to her drunken actions. It upset her how careless her looked but she was having a good time with this new friend she'd made, so she decided to kick it up a notch.
Alex pulled the kid towards the wall with her and randomly began making out with him. Since the two of them were too busy to see where they were going they banged hard against the wall causing Alex to break out in laughter before attacking his mouth again. She knew that the thud would be enough to get Jay's attention and he would look over and see he with this stranger, making out and loving it. Haha, take that asshole. And he did, another airless punch in the stomach.
After Dave, she thought that was what he said his name was, had left. Jay gently pulled Alex aside and set his beer on table next to them. "What the hell are you doing?" He was tipsy and didn't mean for the words to come out as forcefully as they did. But it did cause her to laugh. She responded with slurred words that were incomparable to him. "You are being an idiot, go get some water." Her face scrunched up again and she gave him a caustic look before screaming loud obscenities at him and running to the bathroom.
An hour and a half later she was still in there but everyone had left his messy and runty house. For that time she was crying because she knew he was right, she was being an idiot, because all she wanted was him and she wouldn't just tell him that.
Jay knocked on the bathroom door lightly and called her name, all he heard were sniffles, which meant she was alive and conscience. He turned the knob and opened the door a little, waiting for her to tell him not to come in, it never came, so he opened the door fully. She turned with tearful eyes and looked up at his beautiful blue ones. "I love you." For the first time in weeks she was saying what she was thinking.
He nodded and bent down to her, stroking her cheek and kissing her. "I love you more." They both smiled.