Chapter 8

He stopped in his tracks and felt a sudden heaviness in the pit of his stomach. Kevin? Who is he? the congressman? and roses for her? A mix of emotions swept over him -- relieved that she was not on the plane yet at the same time he felt a pang of jealousy that she could be seeing Kevin. Another stupid move, Jack! Great, that's just great! He felt like an intruder, so he turned to leave, feeling dejected.

She heard someone out front but when she didn't hear anyone respond, she walked out front and was surprised to see him, "Jack. Don't go." She sprinted after him and just stopped a few steps away from him, feeling nervous all of a sudden.

Breathing in heavily, he stopped without looking at her; he was quite at a loss for words to say.

"Uh ..." she started, running her hands through her hair. "I thought you were Kevin. He's my nephew. I sent him to pick-up the roses from the nursery …" she rambled. She was certain that he had heard her earlier and when she saw him leave, she immediately suspected that he thought it was Kevin, the congressman. She wanted to clarify that right away, no more secrets, she said to herself.

"Rachel" He spoke softly as he finally turned to look at her.

She was wearing a white tank top and a pair of denim shorts. Her hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail, some dirt smudged on her cheek. The sight of her casually dressed and dishevelled brought a smile to his face.

She let out a sigh of relief as she smiled back and approached him. "Jack, I'm so sorry."

"I'm so sorry too." He finally managed to talk as he brushed off the dirt from her face.

She hugged him as he hugged her back. Her heart was pounding as she fought back tears from falling down her face. "No Jack, it's my fault. I didn't think you would call nor see me again."

"I was a jerk for not calling you back." He said as he pulled back. "You haven't heard yet, have you?"

"Heard what?" she asked curiously.

"The Senator's plane crashed a while ago. The McBride's were slightly hurt but a couple of people were seriously hurt."

"Oh God! It's Amanda and Chris." She said referring to the two staffers. "How awful! Oh my God!" she put her hand over her mouth in shock. "I hope they're going to be all right. Where are they now, do you know?"

"They could be in any of the nearby hospitals where they landed in New Jersey. We don't have any details yet since I just heard about it a while ago." He stopped and turned his face away, swallowing hard as he recalled how he thought she was on that plane.

She noticed the worried look on his face. "Jack, are you okay?"

He caressed her cheek gently. "God, Rachel, I thought you were on that plane. I've been trying to call you and you weren't answering." He said as he realized now why she wasn't answering.

"I was in the back, gardening. I didn't hear the phone ringing." She paused. "I caught the last flight yesterday and got here early this morning. I decided to take the day off …" she trailed, as she was about to say because I've been feeling miserable since you never called me.

He took her left hand and interlaced it with his right hand. "I missed you, Rachel." He muttered as he brought her hand to his lips.

"I missed you too." She replied feeling a little jolt as he kissed her hand. Glancing up at him, he hadn't shaved, there was a shadow of a one-day stubble on his jaw. Definitely sexy, she mused.

"Can we start all over again?" he smiled broadly.

"Yes, I'd love that." She nodded but deep inside she felt uncertain, scared and nervous. She had almost given up and was about to crawl back into her shell again. But now, she is faced with the inevitable -- telling him the truth. She had feared remembering it all again and there's no denying that she had to do this if she really wanted to "move on".

That evening, they decided to order some take-out dinner.

Rachel had been bracing herself all evening for that right moment to talk to him about "it". Did she really need to tell him now? Isn't it too soon? But she knew that if it ever happens again, she'd never forgive herself when he would stop seeing her altogether. She had sensed it herself, that there's something about him -- that he would understand -- and that would make it easy for her to get this big load off her shoulders.

He had sensed her anxiety the whole time that evening. She was by the sink finishing up with the dishes, when he approached her and touched the back of her waist that she jumped and quickly turned to him, startled.

"Oh sorry, I didn't mean to do that." She apologized as she hastily ripped a piece of paper towel and wiped her hands.

"Rachel, is something wrong?" He narrowed his eyes.

"I'm okay." she hesitated. "Why don't we sit down" she walked to the living room while he followed closely behind her.

"Jack, I'm not sure if this is the right time but I need to tell you something." she started, as she collapsed into the couch.

He sat on the couch close to her. "Yeah, what is it?" he frowned, looking intently at her.

"I lied to you about my husband … I mean, how he died." She looked at her hands, trying to avoid his gaze.

"He didn't die in a plane crash like I told you." She paused. "We were on a relief mission in Sierra Leone, to move refugees to Guinea when we were ambushed. We were the last one in the convoy."

"We were held captive for days." She continued. "He was beaten right in front of me…" she put her hand over her mouth and cried.

"I'm so sorry." He placed his arm around her shoulders and embraced her.

Pulling away, he lifted her chin. "Look, are you sure you want to talk about this now?"

She nodded, wiping off her tears. "It's been so long. I feared remembering this, but it will never go away."

She continued. "They separated us. They took him away, I don't know where… And that was the last time I saw him." She said as tears fell on her face again. "I was left alone; I was tired so I slept, only to be woken up by this man. I fought him hard but he was too strong for me..." she paused. His instincts told him what she would say next and he couldn't bear to hear it nor let her say it, but she continued. "He raped me, Jack." she sobbed.

"Oh my God, Rachel! Don't say anything anymore." He hugged her tightly as he felt a lump in his throat.

"Jack." she pulled back as she wiped her tears.

"Sshh" He hushed her by putting his finger over her lips. "I'm terribly sorry Rachel. How could something so horrible happen to you?"

She heaved a little sigh and continued. "It took me a long time to heal. Then I moved here just to get away from it all ... I'm so sorry for telling you all this." She cried. "I thought that I could go on without telling you because I thought I had gotten over it, but I got jumpy that other night. I'm just not so sure if I can get past this, it's so hard, Jack." she looked up at him noticing his eyes were a bit teary.

"I understand, it takes a long time to heal, and you can't go it alone." He said softly as he stroked her hair. "I'm here, Rach. Don't worry."

I'm falling for you already, and there's nothing that will stop that, he thought. Grasping her neck gently with his right hand, he dipped his head to kiss her cheek. She turned and looked at his lips, she couldn't help but long for the feel of those lips on hers again. She kissed him gently on the lips and pulled back.

He smiled slightly, his pulse was racing; he didn't want to rush her this time.

"Can you stay a while?" she asked feeling a little tired.

"Sure"

Moments later, she was asleep so he carried her to the bedroom and tucked her in. He sat beside her on the bed for a while and looked at her sleeping. There was a small furry teddy bear on her bedside table. When he picked it up, he noticed that there was a silver baby rattle behind it. He couldn't fight back the tears anymore. Clutching the teddy bear close, he quietly wept ... for Teri, for their unborn child, but mostly for Rachel because she had to relive it all over again.

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