PART TWENTY SEVEN

If She Only Knew

Even as another week went by, Hermione couldn't help herself at all. I almost felt like I was her father, with her asking my permission all the time if she could visit Malfoy. I knew she was doing this not because she wanted my consent, but because she wanted to borrow my cloak. Whatever the reason was, I never did allow her to go out after hours again; I always figured that once was enough before she got caught. But the night before she snuck out again, Ron told me to just let her go, and that I, of all people, should know that sometimes, the most important things happen when one sneaks out into the night. I realized Ron was becoming more and more of a martyr for Hermione as the days went on; he was dying let Hermione go on with her love life but I knew there was always an inevitable part of him that wanted to be loved back, and it was almost too painful for me to watch the expression on Ron's face that night we let Hermione leave the common room again.

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Bloody hell, Hermione sniffed, looking cautiously around her in the dark hallway. She had just made the loudest sneeze known to mankind, which was not a very wise thing to do right now, considering how she was under Harry's Invisibility Cloak again in the dead of night. She'd known a week ago when she had first snuck out to visit Malfoy that she would be doing it again, and she was grateful that her friends supported her idea, no matter how stupid it was.

Hermione closed the book she was reading and looked at her watch in the Gryffindor common room, causing Harry and Ron, who were seated across from her, to cock their eyebrows.

"Hermione…?" Ron asked curiously.

"You're sneaking off to Malfoy again, aren't you?" Harry said accusingly.

Hermione looked at them both to see the serious look on their faces. She knew they wouldn't like it. "I'm sorry guys, but I really can't help myself…tomorrow is going to be the start of the finals and I won't be able to perform well if I don't at least see his sleeping face tonight…I'm sorry but I really have to go…"

She expected them to protest or to tie her up to keep her from going out after hours, but unexpectedly, Harry grinned. "That's what I thought. That's why…" he trailed off and grabbed something from inside his school bag. "…I brought the Invisibility Cloak down here tonight."

He handed it to her and she gaped at them both. Ron nodded. "Go on; we've got you covered."

Hermione smiled at the thought and, seeing that her sneezing didn't seem to cause any commotion, went on ahead to the hospital wing. She was surprised to find that Madam Pomfrey was not in her usual room and was nowhere in sight, and she took this opportunity to slide out from under the Cloak and step up to where Malfoy was lying.

She quietly pulled back the curtains again, and, to her relief, saw that his injuries were looking much better now. True to what Madam Pomfrey had predicted, there were still scars all over him. Healed and closed, but still scarred.

Hermione neatly folded the Cloak and laid it as a heap on the floor beside the bed. She bent over him to gaze at his pale face, and she gently laid her hand to feel the steady rise and fall of his chest.

"Draco…" she whispered lovingly to him. "I know it's been a long while…but just so you know…I haven't stopped thinking of you…" Her hand moved up to cup his cheek, and she found herself lowering her face slowly towards his. "All this time, Draco…not…one…bit…"

At the word 'bit' she closed her teary eyes and touched her lips gently over his, letting it linger there just so she could feel his softness. She started crying again, realizing that it had been almost two months now and he was still in a coma…still unconscious…still unable to feel her love for him…

She was just about to withdraw and head back, when the most unexpected thing happened.

His lips moved.

Hermione's eyes fluttered open in surprise just as Malfoy parted his lips and plunged his tongue into her mouth. Hermione was compelled to close her eyes again and moan, not knowing what was happening but loving every second of it.

When they stopped kissing after three of the longest minutes Hermione had ever experienced, Hermione opened her eyes just in time to see Malfoy slowly and heavily opening his. And the moment she saw his beautiful grey eyes looking lovingly at her, she hugged him tight and started crying tears of joy.

"God, Draco…I thought I'd lost you…" she sobbed as Malfoy slowly stroked her hair.

He kissed the top of her head, and the first thing he whispered was, "I'm sorry…"

Hermione slowly broke from the embrace and straightened up, so that she was now back to standing beside his bed. She sniffed, getting lost in his eyes which were looking at her right now in pain—not of external pain but of an internal struggle.

Malfoy let out a small groan as he sat up from the bed in a burdened way. He reached out and cupped Hermione's cheek. "I'm sorry for being such an idiot…" He gently wiped her tears away with his thumb. "I'm sorry for always making you cry…"

"Draco—"

"I told you I love you, Hermione…" he went on, "…I still do…"

Hermione smiled and sat down on the edge of his bed beside him. She took his hand from her cheek, put it down and squeezed it, and then she leaned close to give him another kiss.

A few minutes later Malfoy moaned and his other hand went to the back of her head to deepen the kiss, and it was at this moment that Hermione's other hand ran down from stroking his chest to the part under his blankets.

Malfoy opened his eyes and his hand behind Hermione's head flew down to grab her wrist and stop her actions. He broke the kiss, saying, "Don't."

Hermione looked hurt, and Malfoy sighed and said, "Look, I…I have to show you something."

Hermione let go of his hand clasped in hers and broke free from the one gripping her wrist as Malfoy reached for the bandage on his upper right arm. Hermione watched in silence as he slowly unrolled the bandage, and when it finally came off, she gasped.

On his arm was an image, sort of like a red tattoo, of a skull, with a serpent as its tongue. It was there, clear and evident—the Dark Mark.

Tears welled up in her eyes as all her passion slowly turned to anger. What kind of a trick was he playing at?

Malfoy watched her expression worriedly. "Hermione—"

"Shut up," she snapped, glaring at him. "I knew this was just a game to you all along." And she stood up hastily to leave.

"No, wait—" Malfoy grabbed her wrist again, but this time she tugged hard to break free.

"I don't want to listen to any more of your damn lies, Malfoy! You've run me around long enough! I should've known you'd never change; you've always been the freakin' Dark follower you always were!!!"

"How dare you tell me what I've always been!" Malfoy snapped back, now more hurt than ever. "You don't even know half of everything I've been doing all my fcking life!!! You have no idea what the hell I've been through for you!!!"

"I know perfectly well what you've been through for me!" Hermione blinked back the angry tears in her eyes. "You've been forced to pretend you loved me and you used me as your damn sex toy!!!"

"Sex toy??? You don't even know me!!!"

"You're right; I don't," Hermione flared and struggled again to break free from his grasp. "And it was a mistake to think I once did!"

"Damn it, Hermione; why don't you just listen to me???" Malfoy's grip on her tightened. "I love you!!!"

"You love me??? How can you even say that you do when you never even changed for the better???"

 "It's not like I never tried, okay?!?" Malfoy cried out, and Hermione saw the sincerity of the helplessness in his eyes. She kept silent, breathing heavily. Malfoy looked at her fuming form and heaved a deep sigh, letting her wrist go. He gritted his teeth and rubbed his bandaged temples exasperatedly.

"Listen," he said, more calmly now. "All my life I've tried not to follow my father's footsteps and bask in his pathetic shadow of being a Death Eater. Contrary to what you all must've thought for the past six years, I didn't want to be some stupid follower of the Dark Lord; I didn't want anyone telling me what to do and how to do them all the time. I wanted my own life; one that's not restrained by the chains of servitude to some lord. I guess you know me well enough to understand that I don't like taking orders from anyone."

Hermione swallowed heavily and roughly wiped her tears with the back of her hand, still furious but somehow obliged to stay and listen.

"But between doing my duties as an aspiring follower and experiencing the Cruciatus Curse, it's pretty obvious what I'd rather choose. So I'd been trying to be a bad ass to impress my father like the gullible idiot I was," he sighed again. "Up until the beginning of my seventh year, I had done everything I could to please him and avoid the Cruciatus Curse. He wanted me to get my Mark at the start of the year, and he assigned me different tasks to get the ingredients needed for it. I kept having these recurring nightmares about defying him, and then one night my right hand was all bloody. Turns out he had planted a huge wound on my right hand in order to use it to punish me if ever I strayed from my duties. I never did though. My nightmares were still there to remind me not to defy him, but he never got to use my wound to punish me. I was doing well and only the last task was left. That was when he finally got the chance to use the wound." He paused and looked up at Hermione. "Because you happened."

Malfoy shifted in his position painfully, and Hermione almost reached out to help him. Almost.

"My father told me that the Dark Lord wants his followers at their best, so my grades mattered a lot. Since I was failing History of Magic to get my duties done, he assigned me a tutor to help pass it. He never expected the school to choose you as my tutor, but when they did, he was more than thrilled. See, my last task was to get Mudblood blood, and he wanted me to take yours."

Hermione's eyes widened. "What…"

"It wasn't supposed to be a problem because I used to hate you with all my guts, but then I…I did what I wasn't supposed to do…" Malfoy looked her in the eye. "I fell in love with you."

Hermione immediately looked away. She knew that he must somehow still be lying; he was probably making all this up. But she couldn't help but feel awful—awful that she was doubting him one bit.

"I hated myself for it so much that I wanted to die, but I was helplessly in love with you, Hermione. It was forbidden but I knew there was nothing I could do about it…but my father did. He figured out why I was delaying my last task so he made a set-up for me to be able to accomplish it. And as for my feelings for you…" He folded up one knee and rested his elbow on it, letting his head fall into his now elevated hand. "He told me that you'd served your purpose in helping me pass History of Magic and that you'd interfered with my tasks long enough. He wanted you dead."

Malfoy gritted his teeth again, as if the very memory of reliving it all was crushing him inside. "So I told him I would do anything for him as long as he left you out of all this. And he did, only with a price."

Malfoy paused for a long while and Hermione bit her quivering lip. A while back she was feeling awful, but now she was downright furious with herself. Malfoy was right about her; she had no idea about everything he'd gone through. She cursed herself for being so prejudiced and for jumping to conclusions too fast about things she didn't even understand.

She knew now why Malfoy had acted that way since the start of the new term…why he'd become such an awful person and had hurt Cho in their match…why he'd never thought of her again…why he'd gone back to treating her like dirt…why all the color in his eyes had drained…why all the love he'd felt for her had been tucked away like a distant memory, never again to be recovered…why he'd been forced to hurt her over and over again no matter how excruciating it must've been for him…

It was all because he didn't want her to be in danger.

It was all for her sake.

That was all he was thinking of.

Her sake.

And she was too blind to consider that, even with the promise he'd left behind that he would always love her.

She knew now that the promise he made was more heartfelt than anything else.

"He…left you alone…but the price I had to pay was…" he trailed off. "He got what he wanted—I managed to get the Dark Mark on the third Hogsmeade trip on March; it's on my right arm instead of the left because he told me the Dark Lord had special plans for me. Then my father successfully made me stay away from you, and made you stay away from me…and I feel so damn stupid because I'd just done what I used to swear I won't—I've become his damn pawn."

Hermione looked at him, and reluctantly said, "What happened…to the set-up your father made…?"

Malfoy lifted his head and looked back at her, surprised that she'd spoken to him. Hermione looked down at the floor and refused to make eye contact. "He arranged for Justin to be murdered by a werewolf in the Forbidden Forest one night, and I was to stand by and collect some of his blood when the dirty job was done. But somehow I couldn't do it; I approached Justin to bring him back to the castle and he thought I was behind it all when he saw me, so I just told him I was and that I'd kill him if he told anyone. I Petrified Justin and killed the werewolf myself."

So that was it…the threats she'd heard him make on Justin that day of the three-minute match…why he was injured and limping…Hermione struggled to keep her voice from trembling. "And…the Muggle-born  blood…?"

"I…didn't get it. I used my own blood from the wounds the werewolf had inflicted on me and gave that to my father as the last ingredient…"

At this, Hermione finally looked up. Tears finally triumphed over her and she frowned at him. "You idiot!!!"

Malfoy's eyes widened.

"Why did you have to do all those things??? Why did you have to be your father's chesspiece??? You could have just left me for dead and went your own way!!! Why did you have to care so much???" Hermione broke down, her whole body trembling. "You didn't have to love me, Draco!!! You didn't have to love me…so much…"

Hermione trailed off and dropped down on her knees beside his bed, covering her face with her hands as she sobbed and sobbed. Malfoy stared at her crying, weak form and hated himself all the more. He was always hurting her…he was always making her worry…he was always making her cry…

Slowly and painfully, he shifted in his position again and reached down to lift her chin, tilting her face towards his. She removed her hands from her face, still crying, and that was when Malfoy bent down to kiss her.

She cried even more when he did, and then he started kissing her cheeks, her nose, her forehead…kissing her tears away. Then, his lips moved to her ear and he whispered, "I am an idiot; I always have been because I keep hurting you all the time…but I really do love you, Hermione…so much…and if I were to live I'd live my life for you; and if I were to die, I would surely die for you…"

That night was something Hermione swore she'd remember for the rest of her life.

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Weeeee!!!!! Malfoy is up; thank goodness:D Our fave couple is finally back together!!! This chap is a bit longer than usual…hope u guys liked it:D more stuff to come!!! And, of course, now that they're all lovey-dovey again, something's bound to happen….  Hope you guys will continue to stick around!!! Thanks again soooooooo very much for all your reviews!!! Very heart-warming and inspiring!!! 177 reviews!!! Oh. My. God. Thanks  a lot!!!! Love you all!!!

Coming up: Malfoy and Hermione out on the open! Malfoy gets all sweet…and stands up for the love of his life! Please continue r&r-ing!:D

P.S. Hey has anybody seen spider-man 2??? Damn, what a totally awesome movie!! Definitely a must-see!:D