SEQ CHAPTER h r 1Perfection: A Smallville Christmas Storytc "Perfection: A Smallville Christmas Story" Chapter Threetc "Chapter Three"

The warmth of the room seemed to surround him and engulf his entire world. Lex laid on the bed trying to remain in the safe cocoon of sleep that had enveloped him suddenly, although he had no real knowledgeable memory of how or why.

"Alexander," the voice nagged at him as a hand nudged at his shoulder. "It time to come back to us."

"Go away," Lex groaned as he attempted to push the intruder away. "Five more minutes."

"Lex," the voice seemed much softer and perhaps with a little more concern. "Lex, please wake up."

The voice was warm and familiar like the room and Lex forced his weary eyes open to look into the wide, worried eyes of his best friend. It was clear from his farm boy expression that Clark Kent was very concerned and had been there for a long time waiting. "Oh, thank God," the dark haired teen gushed. "Everyone was starting to worry if you would ever wake up."

"Clark?" Lex eyed the room with a cautious stare. It was a room he had seen before. "What am I doing in your bedroom?"

"I brought you up here after you passed out," Clark explained, checking him over. "Everyone wanted to call 911 after you cut yourself, but you seemed to freak out at just the mention of going to hospital. I guess you could still hear us even when you were asleep."

"My father," Lex tried to sit up but fell back unto the pillows. "I thought I heard my father's voice again."

"His and everyone else's," grinned Clark helping Lex to sit up and propped a few pillows behind him to help him stay in that position. "We were all very concerned."

Lex raised his hands to see where he had been bandaged from cutting himself on the ornament. The golden red hue of the room was much like the one in the living room, but there was no tree or decorations to be seen. A soft almost hum of Christmas music could be heard as if from a distance. The even stranger thing was when he looked down, the large stain of blood on his shirt was now gone. Lex assumed that they had changed his sweater while he was sleeping, although he could not remember what he had been wearing before the accident. "I was hurt?"

"Yeah," Clark smiled politely. "Made a real mess, but my Mom was able to fix you up just fine. Everything is perfect again."

'Perfect' was not a word Lex had ever used to describe his life, but already the word had come up a few times on this night, and the subtlety to which it was used seemed to make him even more uncomfortable. He knew that something was deeply wrong with everything and perhaps everyone around him, and the fact that the idea of all being perfect only sat the heavier on his heart.

"Are you okay now?" Clark asked. "You look like you have some of your color back."

"Yeah," Lex forced a smile. "I'm okay."

"Great," Clark jumped off his seated position on the bed at Lex's side. "I should go and tell everyone that you're awake. I'm sure there will be a whole parade of people up here to see for themselves in the next few minutes."

"You're probably right," Lex nodded as Clark walked to the door.

Just as Clark's hand reached the knob, a question came to Lex's mind. "Clark?" He called out before the teen had a chance to open the door.

"Yeah, Lex?" Clark looked back.

"What were we talking about before I passed out?" Lex asked with concern. "I don't remember what it was, but for some reason, I know it was important."

Clark had to think for a minute, but then shrugged his shoulder. "I don't know, Lex. It must not have been important enough for me to remember."

"Really?" Lex gave a look of wonder.

"Hey," Clark grinned again. "I was too busy trying to keep you from falling to the ground and hurting yourself."

"You had my back," Lex chuckled.

"Don't I always, Lex?" Clark laughed back and then resumed his trek out into the hall.

The large smile stayed on Lex's face as he thought about his position. He was warm and cared for, and his best and closest friend in the world was always there to watch out for him, just as everything should be. Perhaps 'perfection' was a word that Lex could find room for in his life.

The feeling of comfort and warmth stayed with Lex until the door opened one second after Clark had disappeared behind it. He cocked his head up and waited for him to appear again from behind the position.

"What happened, Clark?" Lex called. "Did you forget to take my temperature as an extra proof to the others that I am okay?"

"Perhaps that would be better left for your mother," a soft woman's voice came back instead of Clark's and the sight of his lovely and radiant mother almost gave Lex a startle. The sickening feeling returned to his stomach again, only this time more quickly and stronger than before.

Lex plastered a smile on his face as she approached, but if the truth were to be known, he was too paralyzed to move. Perhaps from fear, surprise or joy, the reason was unclear, but Lex found him self incased in the presence of his mother.

She sat at his side leaning in as she took his head in her hands and placed her warm lips against his forehead. After a few seconds, she pulled herself away leaving a set of rose red lip prints on the spot she had kissed. "You always hated for me to do that when you were a child."

A warm smile came across his face. "Some how," he remarked meekly. "Its not so bad anymore."

"Good," Her large blue eyes looked back at him in that way that had warmed his heart on many cold winter nights. "There are some things a mother never outgrows."

Cupping her hands around his, Lex tried to melt to her calming effects, but still the nagging feeling in the pit of his soul kept eating away at him. He gave it everything he had so as not to let her see his inner anguish. "You had us worried," she spoke in the same soft tones that were filled with love and concern as only a mother could show.

"I know," Lex nodded slightly. "Clark told me, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you worry."

"I am your mother, Lex," she grinned. "It's my job to worry about you. I've been doing it since about nine months before you were born."

Lex gave a chuckle more to be polite than out of an actual desire for amusement. After a long while of searching over his face, Lillian sighed with a hint of disappointment. Even after trying so hard not to show his feelings, the fact that her eldest son had something weighing heavy on his mind was all too apparent to her, and she touched his face.

"What is it, Alexander?" She asked in her motherly way with a soft smile, a gentle touch and a hint of worry in her eye. "There's something troubling you. What is it?"

"I don't know, Mama," Lex used his childhood name with the woman who had given him so much affection his entire life. "I just have a bad feeling."

"Bad feeling?" Her brow creased. "Are you in pain, Alexander?"

"No," he shook his head once. "It's not a pain or even a worry," he tried to explain. "It is more like a feeling that all is not right in the world. Like something or maybe it's me, but something is out of place."

"How can that be?" she asked nudging at his hands. "We are all here as a family with our closes friends the Kents on Christmas Eve. All is right in the world, Alexander." She leaned in close. "All is perfect with our world, son."

There was that word again; the sound of it rang through his head like and echo in a large cave. Why was everything perfect?

"It's not perfect, Mom," Lex lowered his head. "If everything were perfect, then I would not be laying here after passing out from a little cut on my hand, and I would remember what happened before I fell sick."

"Don't push yourself," she caressed his face again. "You are just out of the hospital. Give yourself time."

"Another thing I can't remember," Lex almost snapped. "Why does everyone remember I was sick, but me?"

"You had a very serious breakdown, Alexander," she tried to sooth him. "Most people don't remember those things."

"You remembered yours," Lex said before thinking.

"Alexander," she turned away. "Why must we talk about such things?"

"I'm sorry, Mama," it was his turn to touch her arm. "I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm okay, sweetie," her smile was back big and bright as she turned back. "We mustn't think about such things. Not on this night of all nights. It's Christmas, and everything is perfect."

"Yes, Mama," Lex gave into her insistence.

Lillian leaned in and added another red blotch to his temple. "You take a few more minutes to rest, and then join us downstairs for eggnog and Mr. Kent's annual reading of the Christmas story."

"I will, " Lex smiled as she stood up. "Be sure to tell Mr. Kent not to start without me."

"Of course," Lillian smirked back not sure if his request were real or a jest.

"Mama," Lex called out as she opened the door.

"Yes, Dear," she looked back.

"I am sorry about bringing up your," he paused not sure if he should say the word, but then chose to call it, "you know."

"Don't give it another thought," she smiled back at her son. "It was never mentioned. Consider it a dead issue." With that said, Lillian slipped out of the room and from Lex's sight, but her parting words had left their mark on her son.

"Dead," Lex repeated as he sat up like a bullet in the bed. The conversation he and Clark had been having was brought back with a cold chill up his spine, and the knotting feeling in the pit of his stomach became a gagging sensation as Lex fought to keep his reflexes under control and doubling over from the 'now' physical pain.

Time had passed again, and Lex found himself looking out the second story farmhouse window watching the white whirlwind of snow falling outside of the window. The room was still warm and glowing, but Lex was too deep in thought to give any of the Christmas magic around him a second thought. He did not hear Clark slip into the room past the slightly opened door.

"Lex," Clark almost whispered as he approached. "Lex, are you okay?"

Lex stood still and silent with his eyes transfixed out at the white fields.

Clark stopped a few feet just behind Lex and looked over his shoulder for some reaction to his presence. "Lex," he started again. "You said you were going to be right down, and that was over twenty minutes ago. Everyone has already finished with my father's annual reading of the Christmas story and half way through their eggnog waiting for you to come down to open presents."

The reflection of Clark appeared next to his own when Lex decided to respond looking deep into his friend's holographic eyes. "It's not real, Clark," his words were spoken short and with a remorseful sorrow tempered by all of his self control, but a simple large tear rolled down his left cheek.

Clark gave a puzzled glance and a furrowed brow. "What's not real, Lex?"

Allowing his vision to falter for the first time since he took his stance at the window, Lex's eyes drifted down to the baseboard of the room, and then he turned slowly towards the room and Clark. "This Clark," he replied raising his vision. "This whole night and everyone in it."

"What are you saying Lex?" Clark inquired. "Do you think you are not here? Because I assure buddy, it's Christmas Eve, and you're in my house with our families."

"No, Clark," Lex stepped past him. "I've always thought of you having the perfect family life, and I have been welcome into the fold on occasions, so I know how warm and magical your home can feel." He stopped just before the bed, but stayed staring at the opposite wall. "It only makes sense that on Christmas Eve I would want to be there with my own family sharing that joy, but if you were truly Clark, then you would know as sure as I do, that this could and would not ever happen."

"Lex," Clark started.

"It's a dream, Clark," Lex stopped him short. "Or maybe a psychotic episode. Whichever, it is no more real than that picture on the wall."

Clark looked up at the picture Lex had been studying. "Those are my grandparents," he told him. "My dad's mom and dad used to own this house, and that is their wedding picture."

"No, it's not," Lex, said still staring. "Those are my grandparents."

"Don't be silly, Lex," Clark walked over to the frame. "This is my granddad and," he stopped as he took another look. "Oh, my goodness. Who are those people?"

"My grandparents, Clark," Lex said again. "But now," he got Clark's attention and he looked away. "It is my parents, Lionel and Lillian on their wedding day."

"Lex," Clark started but was silence again at the sight of Lionel and Lillian on his bedroom wall. "Whoa, how did you do that?"

"Its not real, Clark," Lex said with a sigh as turned to sit on the edge of the bed. "And neither are you."

The impulse was too great, and Clark had to look himself over complete with patting down his chest and belly. "But Lex, I'm right here. I'm always there for you."

"Just like I want to believe, Clark," he let out a hush breath. "But I remember now what happened just before I blacked out and woke up here."

"What are you talking about, Lex?" Clark sat on the opposite side of the bed and studied his friend from behind.

"You abandoned me when I needed you the most," Lex allowed another tear to fall. "I can't remember all the details as everything is still a little fuzzy, but I know in my heart of hearts when I needed you, you were not there for me. For some reason you ran out on me, and it is because of you that I am having these dreams."

"That's crazy, Lex," Clark regretted using the word a moment after it slipped past his lips. "You know what I mean. I am right here and we are all having the perfect Christmas."

Lex remained silent as he played with his hands.

"Lex," Clark jumped up and came around the bed to see him face to face. "Everyone you care about is here. All the people who have ever in the past and who in the present truly love you are here with you tonight."

"But they shouldn't be!" Lex clenched his jaw with the grief of the moment. "Not everyone who is here should be."

"Lex," Clark tried to calm him. "I think you are just getting a little worried because everything seems too perfect to you right now, but it's not too good to be true buddy. It's all real."

"Whitney is dead, Clark!" Lex snapped standing up and grabbing his collar. "Whitney Fordman died nearly a year ago on some foreign soil defending someone's freedom. He's dead, Clark."

Clark fell back a step with shock. "That's not true, Lex," Clark fought back. "I spoke with Whitney this morning when we called to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. He's alive and well in Afghanistan."

"Iraq," Lex's reflexes reacted before he even noticed.

"What?" Clark questioned.

Lex had to think about his own response, and then he answered. "Earlier you said he was in Iraq," he reminded. "I don't know why I remember that, but I think my subconscious is trying to tell me that I am on the right track here, and it's time for me to wake up."

"Lex," Clark began to protest again.

"That's why I kept feeling like everything was wrong, because it is," Lex told him.

"Just because I may have gotten the wrong country when I told you about Whitney earlier, is no reason to think everything is messed up," the teen tried to assure him.

"He's not the only one, Clark," Lex added. "Whitney is not the only person misplaced here."

"This is crazy, Lex," Clark's head almost tilted to one side with wonderment. He watched for a good long moment hoping for some hint of falter in his friend's eyes, and when none seemed to appear his eyes became wide as plates. "Really?" His voice stammered for a second. "Who else, Lex?"

"Whitney is dead. Clark," Lex took a deep breath. "And I think so are my mother and our brothers."

Clark turned away pulling his hair back with his hands and quickly turned back with a face full of hurt and confusion that almost broke Lex's heart. "This can't be right, Lex," he insisted. "You must be wrong, and when you were dreaming, you only thought they were dead."

Lex approached him again and placed his hands on his arms. "You're not real either, Clark," he spoke softly. "At least not here. Everything and everyone here is in my head."

"You can't be sure of that, Lex," Clark sniffed once. "I mean it feels real to me."

"That's because you don't know what real really is," Lex gave a short grin. "In my head, you are a part of this world, but this world is made up."

Clark looked down at his feet. "Then why am I here and you are telling me these things? Why am I starting to believe you that I am not real if I am suppose to believe I am real?"

Lex shrugged. "I'm not sure, but it must have something to do with how important you are to me when I need you." Clark's eyes showed he had questions. "You have always been there to rescue me most of the time for the last two years, and in my head, I think you are here to rescue me again."

Thinking for a moment, Clark asked, "What can I do for you, Lex?"

Lex looked into his eyes. "You can stop trying to make everything perfect, and let me wake up."

"Do you want to wake up, Lex?"

This was a question that even he was unsure he could answer, but the time would have to wait.

"Lex?" The voice of Julian interrupted them as he stood at the door. The elder Luthor son stood paralyzed at the sight of his little brother, and in spite of what he thought, he still found himself worried about what he might have heard.

"Julian," Lex's voice broke.

"Mom sent me up to make sure you were coming down," the younger boy said earnestly. "I'll leave and get out of your way, now."

"Wait," Lex almost dived the few feet to grab his brother's arm. "Where are you going?"

Julian turned with a surprised look. "Away, like you always tell me to."

The sound of how much he must have hurt his little brother's feelings in this world only tore at Lex's heart all the more. "You," he stumbled on his words again. "You don't have to leave. Stay here and talk to me a little while."

"I'm gonna go tell the others that you are on your way," Clark said, stepping past them as Lex slowly lead his brother into the room.

Julian watched Lex's hand attentively as he was lead over to the middle of the room. Lex took notice and released his grip at once. "I'm sorry," he said with a hush tone. "Did I hurt you?"

"No," Julian replied with a less than believable glance at his brother's new temperament. "Not yet at least."

"Yeah," Lex sat back on the edge of the bed, not sure of what to say next, but drinking in every inch of his little brother that he could. "We'll have to do something about that, won't we?"

Spinning his head around the room as if he were looking for some indication of the device that surely had his sibling under mind control, he turned back towards him. "What's going on, Lex?" He asked with a harsh tone. "Since when are you being so nice, even polite to me?"

"Well," Lex tossed his hands in the air playfully. "It's Christmas, and I thought that maybe this would be a good time to turn over a new leaf."

The eye of skepticism and suspicion, a Luthor family trait, was not lost on Julian as he raised his eyebrow with a questionable look. "What's wrong with you, Lex? Ever since you've gotten home from the hospital, you have been acting strange and now you keep getting sick. Is there something you are not telling me?"

"No," Lex tried to give him assured smile. "Can't I just be nice to my little brother?"

"You never have been before," Julian shot back. "You always said that it was the way dad wanted us to be with each other."

"Enemies?"

"Rivals," Julian returned.

Lex bowed his head in grief again. "It should never be like that, Julian," he said with a groan. "No matter what dad may or may not have wanted, I should have never hated you. I should have never reacted the way I did."

The tone of Lex's voice made it clear that there was more to his concern than just a little bullying from time to time. "What are you talking about?"

When Lex lifted his head, tears were streaming down his face and his lips were quivering. "I'm so sorry, Julian," he cried. "I didn't mean for it to happen. It was an accident."

"Lex," Julian started, but before he could continue his thought, Lex pulled him into a strong bear hug.

"I'm so sorry," he cried into his little bother's shoulder. "I didn't mean for it to happen that way."

The young boy seemed to shutter at his brother's behavior and tried to pull away.

"Don't," Lex held firmly. "Don't leave me again."

"We have to, Lex," Julian said freeing himself from his grip. "Everyone is waiting for us down stares."

"Julian," Lex's simple call of his brother's name became almost a scream.

The young boy turned back and stared from the door.

"Don't walk out that door," Lex spoke with fear in his eyes. "If you do, I may never see you again."

"What's going on, Lex?" the boy asked. "You're scaring me."

"I'm sorry," Lex said kneeling before him taking a hold of his arms. "I can feel it," his eyes were wide like a mad man. "They're trying to get me back."

"Alexander!" Lionel Luthor's voice boomed inside of Lex's head. "It's time."

"No!" Lex covered his ears screaming. "I'm not ready."

"Lex?" Julian dived down at his brother's side that was curled up on the floor holding his head. "What's wrong?"

"Don't let them take me away," Lex pleaded grasping his brother again. "Not yet."

"It is time to wake up, Lex," Lionel's voice boomed again.

"No!" Lex screamed again. "Please make it stop."

"Only you can do that, Lex," Clark's voice came in over the sound.

Looking up from the floor, Lex could see his friend standing tall over his slumped form. The teen was in the room again as if he had never left.

"Clark," Lex questioned. "What are you saying?"

"It's up to you," Clark smiled. "You have figured out that this cannot be real, so now the choice is for you to decide what is."

"I don't understand," Lex shook his head.

"It's all very simple," Clark held out his hands as if he were a scale counter weighing from one hand to the other. "You stay or you go. The choice is up to you."

The possibility of his choice sank into Lex as he looked back at his brother who was watching him with great concern. Clark's presence seemed to be missing from Julian's prospective as if he only saw Lex in the room.

"You need to decide quickly," Clark warned.

"Can't make that choice, Clark," Lex grunted looking down. "How can I?"

"Life is full of hard choices," the teen reminded.

"But this one can't be made, Clark," Lex shook his head. "All of this is not real. I feel it with every fiber of my being, but how do I leave this behind?" His face looked up. "How do I leave perfection?"

Clark did not say a word, but simply stared down.

"Why haven't you come for me yet, Clark?" Lex seemed to have a moment of clarity. "Why are you here, and not there saving me like you always do?"

Clark's eyebrow creased with concern.

"You abandoned me back at the ranch with Morgan Edge," Lex recalled. "I remember that now. You left me for my father and those doctors to drug me up even more."

"And you came here," a comforting smile returned to Clark's face. "The place of perfection in your head."

Lex's head slumped between his shoulders. "But it's not real."

"It's as real as you want it to be," Clark said.

Turning swiftly, Lex saw that Julian stood at the door again; only now Lillian was at his side.

"Lex," a stoic Lionel called from the opposite side of the room thru a haze that Lex assumed could only be his parted eyelid half awake.

Time seemed to stop as he kept looking back at the two sides of his family, living and dead, real and unreal, demanding and desired.

"The choice is yours," Clark's voice broke through the clouds as he stood over him helping him to his feet. "You must choose quickly, or all may be lost forever."

Lex stood silent and frozen with fear. In all of his life, he had never dreamed he would have to make this choice, or that the decision between reality and deception would be so hard. He knew that whichever choice he made, he would have to live with the regrets for the other choice not made a long time to come.

"I know," Lex finally spoke. "I know where I want to be." He took two steps forward and a fog filled the room. The choice was made, and Lex approached his decision with an assured stance.

To Be Concluded.