Ch. 8: Louisa

Maria sat down with Louisa beside her. Louisa was much older than when Maria had first met her, but she still possessed the personality. Maria had never been able to fully figure it out. Louisa had kept to herself most of the time and had made it known she would never get married. Though she and Maria got along fine there always seemed to be something blocking Maria from fully understanding her.

Maria looked into Louisa's dark blue eyes. She shook her head slightly realizing how much of her father she had in her. Out of all their children, Louisa seemed like the one with most of her Father's personality.

"Louisa? I know you're upset. Do you want to talk about it?" Maria asked. Louisa shook her head to say no, but as she did, a tear trickled down her cheek. Trying to hide the tear she faked a smile.

"I'm okay," she muttered. Maria glanced at her suspiciously.

"Why don't you want to see your father?" she asked. Louisa looked at her mother and saw the pain in her eyes. She hated that the family was again going to be mourning the death of someone they loved. She didn't want to deal with the misery again. She hated anything to do with death.

"Why does he have to die?" Louisa asked. She knew it was a childish question; everyone had to die sometime. She just hated the fact it had to be him. Maria just stared at her tear stricken face for a moment. She put her hand gently on Louisa's shoulder.

"My dear, everyone has to die sometime. That's life. How else would he get to heaven?"

"But why does he have to die right now?" Louisa said angrily. "Johannes and Eleanor are still so young and they will be without a father. And I hate mourning and how sad everyone gets. We're not going to have a father now."

Louisa looked at her mother's compassioned filled eyes and calmed down a little.

"Sorry, sometimes I just get so angry. I was angry with Mother and Father for the longest time. Mother especially. Why did she have to leave us like that? I mean we were so young and Father acted like he was dead too. Is that bad to be angry?" she asked.

"No," Maria answered her. "I think everyone feels that way sometimes when someone they love is dying. Do you feel that way now?"

Louisa nodded and started to cry. Maria hugged her closely. Though Louisa was not one for hugs, she hugged back tightly.

"What's important is that you realize it is not your father's fault for leaving. He doesn't want to die either."

"He doesn't show it very much." Louisa said.

"That's because he's had a wonderful life and he gets to spend his last days with the people he loves most. He's scared to die Louisa. He just hides his emotions, much like you. He doesn't want us to see him in pain."

"I guess you're right," Louisa concluded.

"I know it would make him happy if you went and talked to him, Louisa. I surely wouldn't want to die without seeing one of my children one more time."

"Okay, I'll go in there. But Mother? Can I ask you something?"

"Anything," Maria answered.

"Well I heard someone talking about how you were going to get married again. How can you even think about that when you're still married?" Maria could sense that anger again in Louisa's voice.

"Louisa, your father said I should get married again but the truth is I haven't thought about it much."

"You haven't?"

"No, not since the day he mentioned it. That day I told him the same thing I'm telling you. I love your father more than anything in the world and I'll always feel like I'm married to him; even when he's gone. I don't think I could ever love someone as much as I love him, so I will never marry again. I don't think I'm even going to take this off," she told Louisa, pointing to her ring.

Louisa smiled, happy with Maria's answer.

"Now are you ready to go talk to your father?"

"Yes, I suppose," she answered. "Thank you, Mother. I love you, and I'm so glad that you have been here for us."

"I always will be, Louisa, you know that," Maria told her. Louisa nodded and hugged her once again, before leaving the room.

"Father?" Louisa asked as she opened the door slowly. Georg was lying on a bunch of pillows, looking tired and worn out.

"Is that you Louisa?" he asked quietly. Louisa took a deep breath, tears filling her eyes.

"Yes, it's me," she answered as she walked over and sat beside him. "Father, I'm sorry I've been such a terrible daughter. I wish I hadn't always been so rebellious and unforgiving and…"

"Shhh…Louisa. What's all this? You didn't come in her to make a confession," he chuckled.

"How can you laugh?" Louisa asked in horror. "You're about to die and you don't care?" her eyes glazed over again with tear, but was too stubborn to let them out. Georg sighed,

"You didn't want to come in to say goodbye did you?" he asked.

"I'm not very good at saying goodbye; you know that, Father," she answered quietly.

"Yes I know. Just like me. Louisa, I never thought you were a horrible daughter. I could always see so much of me in you, quiet, but cleaver. And stubborn, yet loving. I always had a special spot in my heart for you…my precious Louisa," he finished. He glanced down at her moist eyes. Deciding crying was the last thing both of them wanted to do he quickly changed the subject.

"Remember when you were about five and you climbed up that huge boulder over by our house?"

"Yes!" Louisa exclaimed. "I wanted to jump off it and soar like an eagle, but you made me come down. When I decided to stay at the top for the rest of my life you climbed all the way up to come and get me," Louisa told him giggling a little. "I really thought I'd be able to fly."

"You will get to one day, Louisa," he told her. Her smile quickly vanished.

"I don't want you to die! You can't die," she told him, giving him a fierce hug.

"Of course I can die, Louisa. Death is a very natural thing," tears started rolling down Louisa's cheeks as she clutched onto him. "Now don't be sad; I'm old, I've lived my life. Not too many people have had a life as amazing as mine. I wouldn't change it, even if I had to endure a bit of pain. It was worth it. Louisa, I just want you to remember to live your life to the fullest, every day. I know it's easy to forget, but just try to be happy. You have so many more things to do, things to live for. Always be happy, and grateful. The Lord has blessed you beyond belief."

"I know," Louisa said amidst her tears. "I love you daddy." Georg smiled, knowing she hadn't called him 'daddy' in years.

"I love you too, Louisa. I always will, forever."

Note: Tell me what you think. We're getting close to the end here so please review!