Huzzah! I'm back again, and guess what time it is?

It's time-for-me-to-post-my-next-chapter time! HUZZAH!

Well after a threat from one reviewer concerning a water gun, I became so terrified I decided I would post my next chapter early. That, and the fact that I already wrote it, and I was quite anxious to get it up here. SO, READ.

Disclaimer: I own…::heaves a huge sigh::…your mother. It's unfortunate, I know. ::Heaves another huge sigh:: I also do not own any of Louis Sachar's works or characters. I own my own character only. (That, and your mother.)

I'm being sarcastic about the "your mother" part, just in case any of you loverlies out there became a bit confused. Hehe.

ALRIGHT! I'LL STOP STALLING! Here's your next chappie.

Chapter 5

Meet the D-Tent

Mr. Pendanski led Faye around the run-down campsite/town. She looked all around her, taking in the barren landscape with anxiety. How would she be able to live here?

Mr. Pendanski piped up. "I'll be your counselor. To remember my name just remember three simple words: Pen, Dance, Key. See? Easy. Now," he looked down at the clipboard he was clutching, "Faye, you are going to be in," he glanced down once more, pausing. "Tent D."

Faye looked at him questioningly. Had she been classified randomly, or was this according to how severe her felony had been? Faye decided upon the former, rather than the latter. Mr. Pendanski continued.

"Now there aren't a lot of rules here besides dig your hole. The main one is don't get the Warden mad. Watch out for the Warden. Don't get the Warden angry. Otherwise, you'll be fine. Don't worry. I'm here to help you. But you have to help yourself, too. Just because you did a bad thing doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, alright?" Faye nodded her head, despite the fact she wasn't exactly "avidly paying attention", so-to-speak.

She looked away from the dry landscape, and back at Mr. Pendanski. He had so little hair from it being cut so close to his scalp, that he appeared bald from a distance. In contrast, there was a dark beard sprouting on his face. He possessed a merry, although tense, disposition and a bounce, although stressed-induced, in his walk. This made Faye suppress a small smile. How someone could be so filled with anxious cheer in this place was beyond her.

Faye directed her attention back at her small counselor when he spoke again, this time already ahead of her, motioning for her to come with him into a tent/dorm sort of complex. Faye followed obediently, although a bit hesitantly.

"Gentlemen, meet Faye. Faye, this is where you're going to stay." The boys' eyes widened as soon as they recognized that it was no male standing in front of them, but a female. Their expressions were as plain as daylight on their faces; they made no attempts to contain their utter disbelief. One boy indignantly spoke up. He looked as though he was the leader of the group of boys.

"But, Mom, it's a GIRL. Why's there a GIRL here? This is a BOYS' camp!"

"Well, Rex, this girl is special. Now, I'll introduce you to her, and you boys be the gentlemen I know you are. Treat her as an equal."

The boys rolled their eyes. Faye heard a couple muttering to themselves.

Mr. Pendanski pointed to a Hispanic-looking boy in the back. "That is José." He pointed to an overweight boy sitting next to José. "And that's Theodore."

Theodore protested. "My name ain't Theodore. It's Armpit, Mom! Get it right."

José stood up. "Yeah, and I'm Magnet."

Mr. Pendanski ignored them and continued the introductions. He gestured towards a boy in the corner glaring suspiciously at Faye. "That's Ricky." He had tousled and uncombed blonde hair and was extremely tall.

"Shh! Don't say my name too loud, Mom. She might be working for the government or something." Ricky took a double-take behind him. He lowered his voice and said, "Call me Zigzag."

Mr. Pendanski chuckled as if he found all of this highly amusing. He motioned in the direction of a boy sitting on his cot with a toothpick in his mouthing, chewing lazily on it. "This boy is Alan. Say hello, Alan." Alan rolled his eyes and stretched out on the cot, folding his hands and placing them under his capped head.

"Squid, Mom. Squid."

"Here we have Lewis." Lewis was sitting beside his cot, clutching his stomach in what was evident pain. He looked unnaturally pale. He ground out his name (Barf Bag) and sprinted out of the tent. It was obvious why his nickname had been bestowed upon him.

"And this is Rex over here." Mr. Pendanski smiled.

"Mom, how many times do I gotta tell you? X-Ray, not Rex. X-Ray." The boy was dark-skinned and sported thick glasses caked with dust.

Mr. Pendanski continued, chuckling again, smiling and nodding obliviously. "Oh, and that's Zero. He's a bit slow sometimes though." He pointed to a small boy apart from all the others resting in a corner with his eyes closed. He opened one and peeked out at the group staring at him and closed it once more. Faye wondered why Mr. Pendanski called him "Zero" and not by his original birth name. "Well, I'll leave you here to get settled in. If you have any questions of concerns, come find me. And remember, just because you did some questionable things, doesn't mean you're a terrible individual. Remember that." The boys groaned and rolled their eyes (all except Zero, who stayed in his previous state), dispersing to their individual cots and corners while Mr. Pendanski left the tent.

There was an empty cot in the middle of the corner of D Tent. X-Ray motioned to it. "You can have that cot next to Zero." Zero? Faye asked herself. Ah, the quiet one.

Faye set her bag down on the cot and seated herself on the edge of it. Zero opened one eye again, peering at her and hastily shut it again.

"Hi, um, I'm Faye." Faye held out her hand to shake his in a gesture of peace of sorts, but no hand was offered in return. There wasn't an answer, either.

"Zero?" she asked again.

No answer. Faye sighed. Another voice boomed from across the tent.

"Hey, new girl!" Faye's head shot up and she pivoted around to face this new voice. It was Armpit. "Welcome to Hell!" Everyone snickered at the comment. Faye rolled her eyes. She heard another voice pipe up. This time it belonged to X-Ray.

"So, boys. How long you think she'll last?"

Squid chimed in. "I'd give her a couple months. Max." The boys snickered again.

Zigzag spoke. "Squid shut up, man. You know the Warden listens. Planted bugs everywhere, that's what I think." He glanced warily around the enclosure.

"Aw, man. You and your 'severe acute paranoia.'" X-ray retorted. Faye tuned out the rest of the conversation and the numerous profanities following.

Welcome to Hell was right.

You like? REVIEW THEN! You know the magic number…6. Well, last time it was 8. Never mind that. It's 6.

Memorize this equation:

6R NC

6 Reviews New Chapter

Yes? Yes.

And now for some thank-yous.

whataboutneville- Why, thank you! I've come to look forward to your reviews. The water gun threat definitely got me motivated. Kudos for creative incentive. You get a shiny medal. :P HAPPY HOLIDAYS! KEEP UP THE SPLENDID REVIEWS!

ilver w0lf- I like your name. Very unique. I'm so glad you love this! It boosts my opinion of this story so much. Thank you! I'm so glad you find this inspiring. Hehe. I've never gotten such a compliment before. Be sure to tell me about your story ASAP (pronounced AY-SAP) so I can read and review it. Happy Holidays and KEEP REVIEWING, MATE!

Georgia- I'm not being mean…I'm being taxing. Hehe. Thank you for reviewing. And you would read it because you love me. Tehe. :D Happy Holidays! Review, review, review, please!

spotnmushlover246- Yes, please. I WOULD like Caveman a.k.a. Stanley Yelnats for Christmas. Rush order would be good. I'm a bit eager. Heh. :P Happy Holidays to you too! And remember: Review!

Ruinsul- Nope, surprisingly it's MR. Pendanski. That brings up an interesting point though. I mean, if he was a camp psychologist-type person, wouldn't it be DR. Pendanski? Does that mean he isn't certified? Oh, the possibilities. Love you, too. Happy Holidays! And review, please!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE! And thank you to all of my other faithful reviewing loverlies. Tehe.

::gReeNeYedeLfguRL13::