The poem "Drowning" was not written by me. A very dear friend wrote that. I wrote "Drowning Me". It was origionally called "Drowning" but for the poem's sake, I changed the name. I hope you enjoy! HikariMoriyakuRaven

Chapter 4: Drowing

Beastboy sat in his room reading through her journal. He had laid the other book on a shelf where he could see it. He didn't want to lose it just in case Raven wanted it back.

Why am I feeling this? It has been two days since he entered my mind. They defeated my father, but how long will that last? Who knows. I just hope that I can find a way to control these emotions by then. Last thing I need is my father controlling me. Yet, there is another emotion I feel. I've never felt it before. It must have disappeared when I left home. I know that it is positive. I have all the negative ones. These stupid powers. Why couldn't I be normal like the others? Well, like some of them. Really, only Robin is normal. I don't know what I would call the others. Starfire...she's just Starfire. She's not from here. I'm not from here either, but I shouldn't complain. Cyborg...he used to be normal. It doesn't take much to change your life. Then, there's him...Beastboy. I wonder what he used to look like. Wait?! Did I just write that? Ewe. I better stop before I write something that I regret...

Beastboy smiled.

'This has to be before she admitted to liking me. Well, before I took over her mind.'

He flipped the page. It was about how she hated her powers. He flipped the page. Same thing.

"Does she have anything in here not about her powers?" he asked until he found a page.

He began to read it.

Those stupid eyes. How I hate them. Yet, how I wish they were mine. Why does everything have to be complicated? Why can't I admit to myself that I love him? Why do I even love him? Great, just broke a lamp. Now, there's a knock. It was him. He wanted to see if I was okay. How sweet. Wait! I did it again! Damn it! Shit, there goes my favorite vase. Why do I destroy everything? He did it. I don't want to admit it, but I love him. I love Beastboy...

Beastboy read on.

Two days ago, I was betrayed. He understood. I let that stupid dragon control me. But, he came to see me. I was having a great moment with him, until that mechanical heap of junk came and ruined it. Oh, well. I got him back. Teaches him to mess with me. I was surprised at how much fun Stinkball was. I actually had a good time. I only blew up a few lights. I surprised myself. Maybe he noticed. I hope he did. I enjoyed spending time with him. If he ever found this out, I'm dead. He'll make me do stuff like that everyday. That was a one time thing. Great, There goes a book. I need to get my mind away from things for a while before I break or damage something else...

"Woah! She liked that? I thought she was just trying to beam Cy and I! I did see her laugh a couple of times, though."

He returned to the book. The other entries were back to normal. Beastboy gave up. He put the diary where the other book was. He began to read some of her poems and stories.

"Drowning"

I'm swimming

Lost at sea

Gasping for air

Trying to breathe

But going under

Grown tired of fighting

Drowning in all my screams

Drowning in all of my

Silent screams

Invisible tears

So sick of fighting

It isn't worth it anymore

So I give

No more fighting to reach the shore

With the world on my shoulders

Pushing me farther towards the bottom

I stop paddling

Stop trying to breathe

The world wins

As my lifeless body

Floats along the current

Lost forever

Beastboy couldn't believe his eyes. The date was almost two years ago. She had lived that long, for him. He flipped the page. The writing stayed the same. This time it was a story.

"Drowning Me"

I used to be drifting on the sea. Now, it's pulling me under. It's drowning me. The water forces its way down my throat and into my lungs. The water burns. It feels cold around me. Inside, it burns. It forces away my air and pulls me farther into the deep. I hear nothing. I can't breathe. My hert is slowing. I see nothing but that black abiss. It's taking me in. I am its new victim. It had claimed me. I am a nobody. I am its new somebody. I'm in my new home. A deep grave. Save me, mother! No, you won't be there. Save me, my friends! No, you don't see me. Who else is there? "No one" I tell myself. That is how it is...

"Drowning, she thought she was drowning," he said.

Beastboy couldn't take anymore. He closed the book and sat it on top of the diary. He sighed.

'She thought she was alone. I told her that she wasn't. Why didn't she listen?' he thought, ignoring the knocking at his door.

"Beastboy?" came Starfire's voice.

"Huh?"

"I have come to tell you that dinner is ready," she said.

"Alright. I'll be there in a minute," he replied trying to find his way to the door.

He tripped and fell.

"Do you need some assistance?"

"No, I'm fine," he said opening the door.

Starfire giggled.

"You're room is in need of repair."

"No kinding," he replied closing the door and following her to the kitchen.