Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all his friends belong to JK Rowling, damn her to hell!
When: Harry and co's sixth year.
Where: Remus' house
Characters: Remus
Category: Angst
AN: I like this one, actually. Sorry about the title: I know it has been used sooo many times, but I couldn't think of a better one. The title might change if I find a better one.
CHRISTMAS VARIETY BOX
The Last Marauder
Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives.
A Sachs.
Alone again.
Once there were four of them. Now there was only one remaining. The Last Marauder.
Remus stared out of the window, waiting for the moon to rise. It was Christmas Eve and full moon was tonight. Perfect timing…
He remembered the last time full moon had fallen on Christmas Eve, which was only once before. They had been at school, sixth year, and of course they had all stayed at school together so they would be there for Remus' transformation. He remembered Mcgonnagol had been reluctant to let them stay but had no real reason to refuse, so had to agree. It had been a wonderful evening for the others and a tolerable evening for Remus. Then, the next morning they'd woken him up and fussed over him, making sure he was all right, tending his cuts and making him eat. This time he would transform alone and there would be no one to wait for him in the morning. All alone…
How foolish they had been in school. It was so dangerous, but they were young, carefree: nothing would happen to them. And Remus was the biggest fool of them all. He was the most mature and the only one that could comprehend at all the danger of the situation they were in. But he ignored it and went on anyway.
When you are young, the world seems to revolve around you, everything you wish for will come true, one way or another. They made foolish promises that they would never be able to keep.
I promise I will never let any of you down. We will always be together, no matter what. James. Prongs. So arrogant, yet a deep thinker at times, a truly loyal friend. But he broke his promise. They weren't together now, were they?
I promise I will stand by your sides, come what may. Peter. Wormtail. Liar and betrayer. He deserted them and his promise was shattered into millions of pieces, and each shard pierced Remus' heart. Each shard hurt…
I promise I will never forget who I am. Who we are. We are the Marauders. Sirius. Oh, Padfoot. He never really grew up, never fully comprehended that he was a mere mortal. Even Azkaban hadn't made him grow. He had sobered, yes, but he was just a serious child. And now he was nothing.
All those promises were broken. All of them shattered and destroyed. But each time, Remus was left to pick up the pieces, until now there were no pieces to collect. They had all gone and left him. They had gone somewhere where he could not follow them.
They had also promised Remus that when the wolf got too much for him, when he was old and the wolf would kill him next full moon, they would instead. They would kill him rather than the let the wolf, Moony, kill him. For, Moony would kill Remus. When his body weakened, it would be too much. It was much worse when Remus was particularly upset or angry about something, then the wolf had a better chance to rip him apart. When he had heard about the Potters and Peter's deaths and Sirius' apparent betrayal, he had been discovered after full moon night barely alive. One day he wouldn't be. Oh why can't that be now? But he wouldn't give up, give in. He had to at least try and live otherwise what was the point in the Marauders? What was the point in their lives?
Another promise that was broken: they would be with Remus every full moon. That one could never have been accomplished: a foolish promise. But it all seemed so real at the time. So true…
James had died before he really got a chance to live. And Sirius had died when he'd seen mostly the bad side of life. Peter had not died yet. But he had died inside, many years ago. Had he already been thinking of betrayal when he made those promises? Was he a liar, even then?
Their band of four broke when they had to face the wide wide world. The world was just too dark, too cruel and they weren't ready then. But when would we have been ready? When are you ever truly ready to face the trials the world will throw at you? For then, they wouldn't be trials.
Remus sat, waiting for the moon to rise, tears falling down his hollowed face. We are still the Marauders. That will never change. But he knew that it already had.
The moon began to rise and Remus felt his body changing. He had taken no potion this night; he was giving the wolf a chance. And, by god, he hoped he took it. Although, he felt guilty about giving in almost, he couldn't see another way. He couldn't live so death was the only other alternative. Pain coursed through his body, a thousand times worse than the cruciatus, but Remus would not cry out. He was a Marauder and had to stay strong.
But Moony did not kill Remus that night. Moony left him, barely alive, but alive still. Remus died duelling Peter. He killed Peter and Peter killed him. An eye for an eye. But an eye for an eye will make the whole world blind…
By the time of Remus' death, he had become distraught. Death seemed to be teasing him, almost doing its job, but then leaving him to start again. And again.
It was on Christmas Eve seven years later that Remus' body died, Peter betraying all over again; but it was seven years earlier on that Christmas Eve that Remus' mind died. He died from Moony almost killing him, from loneliness.
The Last Marauder died alone…
We are still the Marauders. Nothing can ever change that.
But it had. Oh, it had.
AN: Poor Remus! I like Remus, he's a great character, but I can't help but make him sad…I mean wouldn't you be in his situation? Yes, I thought as much. Thanks XX