Disclaimer: I still don't own FAKE. breaks out crying But that's okay!

Author's Note: You might wonder what I was smoking when I wrote this. But I'll tell you right now that the only thing I'm high on is life! sailing in a hot air balloon WEEEEE!!!!!

Sorry for wasting your time just then....I really don't have an author's note.....So enjoy this chapter! Well actually, it's a chapter and a half because the first part should have been included with the first chapter. (See what drugs do?) Well, please enjoy!

Chapter ½ : The Kidnappers

"...you're being held hostage," said a female voice from the shadows.

"And you'd better give into our demands," said another female voice, "if you want to be released in one piece."

"We're not gonna kill them!" whined the first voice. "That's like murder....or something! We'll go to jail!"

"We're already going to jail for kidnaping" scolded the second voice. "Besides, dumbass, I just said that to scare them!"

"Shut up! They can hear you, stupid!"

The six cops stared confusedly into the dark at the direction where the voices, now engaged in a full-fledged shouting match, were coming from.

"Uh, hello?" Drake interjected five minutes later. "Hostages? Remember us?"

"Oh, uh yeah...." said the second voice. " You must meet our demands, or else!"

"Or else what?" asked Drake, slightly bored.

"We, uh, haven't thought of that," said the first voice. "But when we do, y'all better watch out!"

"What are your demands?" asked Ryo as diplomatically as he could while being molested

"Tell us a story," said the second voice.

"What the hell!" screamed Dee. "You go through the trouble of kidnaping us for a fucking story!"

"No....." said the first voice. "We were bored..."

"Oh I'll give you your fucking story!" began Dee. "Once upon a time, there were two stupid bitches standing in the dark who wanted to hear a fucking story; so they chained a really pissed off cop to a pole with a hottie, a jackass, two dead weights, and a freak! Then the pissed off cop escaped and shoved his foot up both their asses and made out with the hottie! The mother fucking end!"

There was a long silence.

"That wasn't very nice," said the first voice. She cocked a gun in the dark and fired. The shot landed two inches above Dee's head.

"Now," began the second voice in a serious tone. "I want to hear a fairytale, and only JJ can tell it.

JJ "woke up."

"I know an excellent story that I think everyone will love!" he exclaimed with his usual cheerful attitude.

"Well hurry up and tell it!" said the first voice. "The popcorn's getting cold and the pizzas should be here any minute!"

To Be Continued pretty soon....

Chapter Two: Accomplice number 1

JJ cleared his throat. "Once upon a...."

The doorbell rang.

"Vicki! Neko!" rang a voice from the entrance. "One of y'all get off your lazy ass and get this fucking door!"

"Vicki," said the second voice. "This was your idea, so let her in."

Vicki rose to her feet. "Skank..." the first voice mumbled under her breath.

"Damn straight!" said Neko proudly.

After much tripping in the dark, Vicki opened the door for her friend psychotic 101, who was holding two extra large pizzas and smoking a "questionable looking" cigarette. (But that's not important now....)

Ryo began to close his eyes. He'd had a hard night, plus he had first shift in the morning so he needed the sleep. As he slowly began to drift away, he remembered who he was chained between. His eyes shot open. He knew Dee would try something (though he didn't entirely mind), and he already knew that as soon as he slipped away, Berkeley would grope him too. Having been violated once today, Ryo tried his best to stay awake.

JJ didn't mind being chained next to Dee in the least. In fact, it was one of the many fantasies he imagined the many times he was alone in his office. Suddenly, JJ got a wonderful idea. The trap was already set, now to bait it. "Dee?" he asked in his most innocent voice.

Dee turned to him and began to ask what was wrong, but to his dismay, he was stopped mid sentence by a deep kiss from JJ. Dee panicked. Finally, JJ broke the kiss and smiled gleefully.

"SO HELP ME GOD, WHEN I GET OUT OF THIS FUCKING WAREHOUSE, YOU WON'T LIVE TO SEE TOMORROW!" screamed Dee at the top of his lungs. Suddenly, another shot was fired, leaving its mark an inch above Dee's head.

"Dee!" screamed Ryo in concern.

"My baby!" cried JJ.

"He's not dead," said Neko. "I missed."

A loud crash rang through the warehouse.

"Aw damn it!" screamed Psychotic 101, holding her leg. "Turn on a fucking light or something!"

"We can't," whispered Vicki. "We've got hostages."

"Oh!" exclaimed Neko. "You're back! Okay JJ, now you can tell your story."

To Be Continued...

Well, I hope you liked it! And I'm sorry if you thought the characters were badly represented and the plot line was rather........unique, to put it bluntly. Well see you next time. The power of friendship be with you. Merry Christmas-chi!