Scarred
Summary: No matter who tried to dry his tears, quell his fears, make the pain disappear . . . no matter who tried to kiss the hurt away, in the end, he would always be left with the scars. (RL/OC)
A/N: It's something different. Just read it. Please.
Disclaimer: It belongs to J.K. Rowling and the readers' who already shaped Harry's world in their minds before it was put on film.
---
One
My name is Remus Lupin. I'm thirteen, I'm a wizard, and . . . I'm a werewolf. But please don't let that bother you. I have friends. Three of them: James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew who have all accepted me for who I am. I thought they wouldn't like me anymore if they found out about my condition, but they didn't seem to mind. On the contrary, they thought it was neat. And for the first time, I started to see my condition differently.
But this isn't about that. This is about a girl. In the past, Sirius, James, Peter and I all just viewed girls as objects to play pranks on. Well, they did. I was always a bit afraid of girls, myself, even though I never admitted that to Sirius and James. Girls and I just seemed to stay away from each other.
Until this year.
I was running down a corridor on my way to class. I was going to be late because I had forgotten my transfiguration book, and I had to go back for it. I had told James, Sirius, and Peter to go on without me, knowing that if they were late one more time, they would receive detention. Sirius didn't seem to mind very much, but James dragged him along with Peter cheerfully in tow.
My robes are always two or three sizes too big. My mother does this on purpose. She says, this way, I can grow into them. Any day now, she says, I will hit a growth spurt, and those robes will fit me perfectly. That was two years ago. Sirius and James have already gotten their growth spurts, and even Peter is inching his way up. Their voices have gotten all funny, too.
I, however, don't seem to be getting any taller at all. Whenever I try to explain this to my mother, she tactfully changes the subject. But that's not the point. The point is that my robes are still too big.
So, when I was running down that corridor, trying not to be late to class, I tripped (as people with too big robes often do), skidded across the floor, and went sliding under a huge statue into a hole.
"Ouch!" a voice said from under me. "Get off!"
I stood up, beginning to feel slightly scared. It was dark all around me – or, us, I guess – and I had no idea where I was. "What-What is this?" I asked, hesitantly. There was complete silence, then –
"A secret passage. Duh," a voice snapped. "I can't see a thing . . ."
I fumbled for my wand in the dark. "Lumos!" I said, successfully lighting the tip. As the person came into view, I suddenly froze. It was a girl.
"I would've done that," she said, scowling, "but I dropped my wand in the dark."
For a moment, I just stared at her, taking in her appearance. Her hair was dirty blonde, and her eyes were a pale green. Her nose was very, very small, and her lips were sort of big, but everything seemed to fit into her face perfectly, nonetheless. In fact, she was kind of pretty in a way . . . I could feel my face flushing. Since when did I think girls were pretty?
"Hello?" she said, glaring at me.
My blush grew worse. "Oh, I-I'm sorry," I stammered.
She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, whatever. I must've asked you, like, three times already. How did you get in here? Because I came from that way, and I think someone blocked the entrance afterwards." She turned red after she said that last part.
"Why would someone block the entrance?" I asked, curiously, my embarrassment forgotten for a moment.
"Don't ask me!" she snapped. "You fell on top of me, didn't you? Does that mean the entrance is up there?" She was trying to change the subject, and I figured that probably meant that she didn't want to talk about it, so I left it alone.
"I guess," I said, uncertainly, glancing upwards. There was no light coming from up there. I shined the light from my wand on the floor, remembering that she had said she dropped her wand. "I don't see your wand," I told her.
"I'll look for it later," she said, hastily. "Hey, do you think you could lift me up? Maybe there's a latch or something . . ."
I swallowed. Lift her up? I wasn't sure if I could . . . Well, I knew I could because of my werewolf strength and everything, but I wasn't always in perfect control of it. What if I dropped her, or something? Or worse, what if I lifted her up too easily, and she started to suspect something?
"Okay," I said, tentatively.
"Put your hands together, like this," she showed me how, touching my hands in the process. I shivered. Either her hands were cold, or I had just gotten very, very warm for some reason.
I handed her my wand and clasped my hands together like she had shown me. I leaned down so she could step into them. Merlin! She was wearing a skirt. I started to blush harder than ever, hoping, praying that she wouldn't notice. She didn't.
"Hey, lift me up! What are you waiting for?" she asked, impatiently.
I took a deep breath, and started to lift her slowly, as slowly as I thought was possible. She grabbed onto my shoulders to steady herself, and I almost dropped her from the surprise. Her hands dug into my shoulders.
"Jeez, you're bony," she muttered. I don't think she expected me to be able to hear that, but of course, I could, my hearing being better than the average person's. And I blushed again.
Finally, finally, she was up there, her feet on my shoulders. I willed myself not to look up, telling myself that it was a perverted thing to do. No matter how much I wanted to. And for some reason, I really, really wanted to.
"There's a small space up here to crawl through. Honestly, you'd think they'd have a ladder, or something," she complained. I shut my eyes. Merlin! What was the matter with me?
"Lift me up higher," she said from above me. Without thinking, I looked up and froze again. She was wearing light purple underwear. My heart started hammering, telling me that what I was doing was wrong, but I couldn't help it. It was like my eyes had been glued to her rear end with a long strand of invisible spell-o-tape, or something.
I breathed a sigh of relief as she started to climb through the hole. "Accio, skinny boy!" I heard a second later, and I had no time to feel insulted before I was flying upwards toward her. I grabbed onto her other hand, and she dropped my wand behind her to pull me up.
"It's pretty sad," she said, once we were out of that hole, and before I had time to say thank you.
"What is?" I asked, avoiding her eyes. What if she realized what I had been doing?
"The fact that I can lift you up so easily and you took forever trying to lift me, when we're roughly the same size," she said, matter of factly.
I turned crimson, partly with embarrassment, and partly with anger. If she knew how strong I really was . . . No Remus, I told myself. No.
"Maybe you're just more manly than I am," I said, smiling at my comeback.
"Maybe you're just an undeveloped shrimp," she snapped, her eyes shooting out angry sparks.
I glared at her, surprised. For someone so pretty, she sure wasn't very nice. "You don't have to be so rude," I said. "I was just joking."
She stared at me for a moment. Then, she shook her head. "Whatever, shrimp," she muttered, starting to walk away.
"Remus," I called after her. "It's Remus Lupin."
---
For two weeks after that encounter, I couldn't get that girl out of my head. Her face with her too-big-lips, and her fairy-sized nose seemed to be imprinted behind my eyelids. I started to look for her casually in the Great Hall during mealtimes. She had to have been in the same year as me, but we had no classes together. I didn't even know what House she was in.
"Remus? Remus!" Someone pinched me hard, and I snatched my arm away.
I looked up. Sirius was across from me, grinning. "Daydreaming again?" he asked, batting his eyelashes.
I blushed. "So you noticed then?" I said.
James laughed. "Well, when you put your elbow in the middle of your soup, we kind of figured it out."
I looked down, and pulled my elbow out of my dinner, hoping fervently that no one was paying attention. I looked around as I dabbed my elbow with a napkin. Anyone who was looking at our table was either looking at James or Sirius. I sighed. That mystery girl was nowhere to be seen.
"So, what's on your mind?" Sirius asked. "Is it a girl? It's a girl, isn't it!"
I felt my face getting hot. Was I really that obvious?
"Oh, no, Sirius," James said, widening his eyes. "It can't be. Widdle Remus is afraid of girls, remember?"
"I am not!" I said, indignantly.
"So, I'm right?" Sirius asked, eagerly. "I knew it! What's her name?"
I felt myself getting hotter. "I-I don't know," I stammered. "She never told me."
"Do you know what House she's in? What does she look like?" James demanded.
"She's um . . . I don't know," I said, feeling a tad overwhelmed.
"Is she taller than you?" Peter squeaked to my right.
"No," I answered, a bit confused. "Why?"
Peter turned red. "No reason," he mumbled, busying himself with his food.
I saw Sirius and James exchange an amused glance, and I frowned. Even though I counted Peter as one of the group, the other two boys teased him an awful lot. I suppose it was because he tended to be a bit slow sometimes.
"She's blonde, sort of," I said, trying to distract them. Immediately, they turned to me and started to pay attention. "Well, it's more of a dirty blonde."
"How did you meet her?" James interrupted.
"Does she have a nice body?" Sirius jumped in.
I blushed again, not really wanting to answer either of those questions. "Dunno," I mumbled.
James and Sirius both let out frustrated sighs. "Remmie, how are we going to find her for you if you don't know anything about her? There has to be at least a million dirty blondes in this school," Sirius complained. "And you don't know her name or anything?"
I shrugged, suddenly wishing we were discussing a different topic. They seemed to sense that I didn't want to talk about her anymore because after giving me a long-suffering look, James changed the conversation to Quidditch. He was planning to try out for seeker this year, having failed last year.
I stood up, not feeling very hungry any more. "I'm heading back to the common room," I said, half-heartedly.
"See you," James said, without looking up, and Sirius just nodded. I smiled. Nothing could distract them from Quidditch.
I left out of the Great Hall, and headed in the direction of Gryffindor tower, not really paying attention to my surroundings. My head was so full of that mystery girl that I forgot to hold up the front of my too-big-robe as I usually did, so once again, I went sprawling across the floor, my wand flying out of my pocket and landing a few feet away from me.
"Figures the next time I'd see you, you'd be on the floor," an amused sounding voice said from behind me.
I jumped to my feet, managing not to trip this time, and turned on the spot, feeling my heartbeat quicken. The blonde girl! "H-Hi," I said, mouth suddenly dry.
She rolled her eyes as I struggled to untangle my twisted robes. I pulled my sleeves back, and extended my hand to her. She stared for a second, then looked up at me.
"What's that for?" she asked, rudely.
"We didn't have a chance to meet properly before," I said, suddenly feeling rather silly. "I'm . . . My n-name is Remus Lupin."
"I know that," she said, raising an eyebrow. "You shouted it at me when I was leaving last time, remember?"
My face colored. "Oh, r-right." I stood there awkwardly for a moment. "So, um, what's your name then?"
"Enna. Short for Julienna. Call me that and die," she said, bluntly.
I blinked, not sure if she was joking or not. She certainly looked serious.
"Lupin. You're a third year, right?" she suddenly asked when I didn't say anything. I nodded. "Gryffindor?" I nodded again, wondering how she knew.
"Are you a third year, too?" I asked, hesitantly.
"No," she said, looking slightly taken-aback at the idea. "Do I look that young?"
I was surprised, but I knew that, "Yes, you do look that young," would probably have been a stupid thing to say, so I didn't say anything.
"I'm a fourth year," she said, her eyes twinkling with mischief.
"Oh," I said, trying to hide my disappointment. She was older than me. No wonder we had no classes together.
"Ravenclaw," she added.
My eyes widened at this. "Really?" I asked.
"Yes, really," she said, growing irritated. "Do I not look smart enough to you, or something?"
I blushed. Again. "That's not. . . that wasn't what I meant," I said, not wanting to make her angry.
"Sure, it wasn't," she retorted.
I bristled, starting to get angry. Why exactly was she talking to me, anyway? Just when I was about to snap at her, or lash out, or do something – anything – I heard voices calling my name from behind me. James and Sirius.
"Hey, Remmie!" Sirius said, clapping me on the back. I almost fell over again from the unexpectedness of it. He gestured towards Enna. "You gonna introduce me to your . . ." - I watched, my face heating up with jealousy as Sirius's eyes roamed over Enna's body. - ". . . friend?" he finished.
James dangled my wand in front of my face. "Here, you go, Remus!"
I snatched my wand, scowling at Sirius.
"Who are you?" Enna asked, staring at Sirius. Another wave of jealousy ran through me as I watched Sirius smile at her. He was smiling that smile that I recognized as his lady charmer smile.
"Hey, Remus, is this your mystery girl?" James asked, nudging me, none too discreetly. Humiliation was all over my face I was sure.
"Sirius Black. And you would be?" Sirius said, still grinning stupidly at Enna. I glared at him, but he didn't notice. He was too busy making eyes at Enna.
"Julienna," she answered, unsmilingly.
"Well, Julienna, this is my friend, James Potter," Sirius said, gesturing towards James. Enna and James sort of nodded at each other. "And you already know Remmie," he added.
"Oh, yeah," Enna said, giving me a wink. I instantly turned red again. "Me and . . . Remmie . . . are old friends."
Sirius gave me a quick look that I recognized as envy, and for a moment I felt like gloating, until he turned back to Enna and gave her another award- winning smile. "Well, Julienna, I hope I'll be seeing a lot more of you."
I was the only one who saw Enna roll her eyes to that obvious sexual implied statement.
"Come on, guys," Sirius said, smirking and beckoning us to follow him. James followed, and I, glowering, followed after him.
---
"Sirius and Julienna. Julienna and Sirius. Sirius and Julienna. Hey, Remmie, which do you think sounds better?" Sirius asked me, later that night in our dormitory.
I purposely didn't answer, but instead climbed into the bed. Peter was asleep already. He had come up to the dormitory after we had and collapsed on the bed, mumbling something about being full, and James was in the showers.
"Hey, Remmie!" Sirius said.
I could feel his eyes on me, but I still didn't answer. I pulled the covers up to my chin, and closed my own eyes, hoping he would get the message and leave me alone.
A few seconds went by where he didn't say anything, then suddenly, "HEY, REMMIE!!!" he shouted in my ear.
"AHHHHH!" I jumped up and grabbed at my super sensitive ears. The ringing in them was intense. I glared at him. "Why did you do that!?" I exclaimed.
"You weren't listening," Sirius said, looking a bit surprised.
"You didn't have to yell in my bloody ears, stupid!" I yelled. Then I froze. I had never called Sirius, or any of my friends, any names before. Ever.
Sirius didn't say anything for a while. Then, finally he said, "Remmie, what's wrong?"
"Don't call me that," I said, avoiding the question. "My name is Remus, not Remmie."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Fine. Remus. What's wrong? What's the matter?"
"I'm not telling you," I said, feeling like a child, all of a sudden. "Why don't you find out for yourself?"
"Are you mad at me?" Sirius asked, genuinely confused. "Remmie, what did I do?" I didn't answer, just crawled back into the bed, and pulled the covers over my head.
I heard Sirius coming over to my bed, and I wished I had remembered to close the curtains. He yanked my covers down and stared down at me. I turned over. "Remmie, what did I do?" he repeated.
"Oh, nothing," I said, sarcastically. "You just made me look like an idiot today, is all."
"When?" Sirius asked.
I shook my head. "Leave me alone, Sirius," I muttered.
"But, Remmie – "
"I said, leave me alone!" I growled.
He didn't say anything. And after a moment, I heard him walk back across the room to his own bed. "Fine," he said, his voice low. "Goodnight, then." I didn't answer.
Needless to say, the tension in the room was pretty thick until I fell asleep.
---
"Do you think Julienna will want to have breakfast with me, today?" Sirius asked the following day. He was making faces at himself in the mirror.
James laughed, walking over to him. "It's Saturday, Sirius," he pointed out. "And it's a little late for breakfast, don't you think?"
Sirius stuck out his tongue. "Lunch, then."
James shrugged. "I don't know. And besides, isn't Julienna Remus's mystery girl?"
Sirius sucked in a breath. "She is? Are you sure? Remmie, is she your mystery girl?"
I gave him a cold stare, confirming the answer.
Sirius groaned. "Remmie! Why didn't you tell me? Hey! Is this why you were mad at me last night?" I gave him another cold stare. Sirius walked over and proceeded to shake my shoulders when I didn't answer.
I jerked back, stiffly. "Don't touch me," I said, my voice like ice.
Sirius was unruffled by my bitter demeanor. "Remmie, we were just flirting! It wasn't anything serious. I didn't even know that you knew her. When I asked you to introduce me to your friend, I was joking!"
I shrugged, still not looking at him.
"Remmie, say the word, and I won't touch her, okay?" Sirius said.
That was my chance right there. That was my moment, my opportunity. I could've said, "Don't touch her," and I knew Sirius wouldn't. But that would have meant admitting that I liked her when I wasn't even sure, yet. And I knew that if I said not to touch her, the guys would never let me live it down.
James was watching me closely. Even Peter had woken up to see what was going on. And Sirius . . . He was hoping I would give him the go-ahead.
I took a deep breath. "I – I don't care," I said, regretting the words, even as I said them. "Date her if you want."
After all, if she decided that she liked Sirius more than me, than there was nothing I could do about it, anyways.
---
A/N: In the books, J.K. never mentioned whether the summoning charm works on people, so I'm going to say it does in this story. And so does the levitation charm, "Wingardium Leviosa."
Summary: No matter who tried to dry his tears, quell his fears, make the pain disappear . . . no matter who tried to kiss the hurt away, in the end, he would always be left with the scars. (RL/OC)
A/N: It's something different. Just read it. Please.
Disclaimer: It belongs to J.K. Rowling and the readers' who already shaped Harry's world in their minds before it was put on film.
---
One
My name is Remus Lupin. I'm thirteen, I'm a wizard, and . . . I'm a werewolf. But please don't let that bother you. I have friends. Three of them: James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew who have all accepted me for who I am. I thought they wouldn't like me anymore if they found out about my condition, but they didn't seem to mind. On the contrary, they thought it was neat. And for the first time, I started to see my condition differently.
But this isn't about that. This is about a girl. In the past, Sirius, James, Peter and I all just viewed girls as objects to play pranks on. Well, they did. I was always a bit afraid of girls, myself, even though I never admitted that to Sirius and James. Girls and I just seemed to stay away from each other.
Until this year.
I was running down a corridor on my way to class. I was going to be late because I had forgotten my transfiguration book, and I had to go back for it. I had told James, Sirius, and Peter to go on without me, knowing that if they were late one more time, they would receive detention. Sirius didn't seem to mind very much, but James dragged him along with Peter cheerfully in tow.
My robes are always two or three sizes too big. My mother does this on purpose. She says, this way, I can grow into them. Any day now, she says, I will hit a growth spurt, and those robes will fit me perfectly. That was two years ago. Sirius and James have already gotten their growth spurts, and even Peter is inching his way up. Their voices have gotten all funny, too.
I, however, don't seem to be getting any taller at all. Whenever I try to explain this to my mother, she tactfully changes the subject. But that's not the point. The point is that my robes are still too big.
So, when I was running down that corridor, trying not to be late to class, I tripped (as people with too big robes often do), skidded across the floor, and went sliding under a huge statue into a hole.
"Ouch!" a voice said from under me. "Get off!"
I stood up, beginning to feel slightly scared. It was dark all around me – or, us, I guess – and I had no idea where I was. "What-What is this?" I asked, hesitantly. There was complete silence, then –
"A secret passage. Duh," a voice snapped. "I can't see a thing . . ."
I fumbled for my wand in the dark. "Lumos!" I said, successfully lighting the tip. As the person came into view, I suddenly froze. It was a girl.
"I would've done that," she said, scowling, "but I dropped my wand in the dark."
For a moment, I just stared at her, taking in her appearance. Her hair was dirty blonde, and her eyes were a pale green. Her nose was very, very small, and her lips were sort of big, but everything seemed to fit into her face perfectly, nonetheless. In fact, she was kind of pretty in a way . . . I could feel my face flushing. Since when did I think girls were pretty?
"Hello?" she said, glaring at me.
My blush grew worse. "Oh, I-I'm sorry," I stammered.
She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, whatever. I must've asked you, like, three times already. How did you get in here? Because I came from that way, and I think someone blocked the entrance afterwards." She turned red after she said that last part.
"Why would someone block the entrance?" I asked, curiously, my embarrassment forgotten for a moment.
"Don't ask me!" she snapped. "You fell on top of me, didn't you? Does that mean the entrance is up there?" She was trying to change the subject, and I figured that probably meant that she didn't want to talk about it, so I left it alone.
"I guess," I said, uncertainly, glancing upwards. There was no light coming from up there. I shined the light from my wand on the floor, remembering that she had said she dropped her wand. "I don't see your wand," I told her.
"I'll look for it later," she said, hastily. "Hey, do you think you could lift me up? Maybe there's a latch or something . . ."
I swallowed. Lift her up? I wasn't sure if I could . . . Well, I knew I could because of my werewolf strength and everything, but I wasn't always in perfect control of it. What if I dropped her, or something? Or worse, what if I lifted her up too easily, and she started to suspect something?
"Okay," I said, tentatively.
"Put your hands together, like this," she showed me how, touching my hands in the process. I shivered. Either her hands were cold, or I had just gotten very, very warm for some reason.
I handed her my wand and clasped my hands together like she had shown me. I leaned down so she could step into them. Merlin! She was wearing a skirt. I started to blush harder than ever, hoping, praying that she wouldn't notice. She didn't.
"Hey, lift me up! What are you waiting for?" she asked, impatiently.
I took a deep breath, and started to lift her slowly, as slowly as I thought was possible. She grabbed onto my shoulders to steady herself, and I almost dropped her from the surprise. Her hands dug into my shoulders.
"Jeez, you're bony," she muttered. I don't think she expected me to be able to hear that, but of course, I could, my hearing being better than the average person's. And I blushed again.
Finally, finally, she was up there, her feet on my shoulders. I willed myself not to look up, telling myself that it was a perverted thing to do. No matter how much I wanted to. And for some reason, I really, really wanted to.
"There's a small space up here to crawl through. Honestly, you'd think they'd have a ladder, or something," she complained. I shut my eyes. Merlin! What was the matter with me?
"Lift me up higher," she said from above me. Without thinking, I looked up and froze again. She was wearing light purple underwear. My heart started hammering, telling me that what I was doing was wrong, but I couldn't help it. It was like my eyes had been glued to her rear end with a long strand of invisible spell-o-tape, or something.
I breathed a sigh of relief as she started to climb through the hole. "Accio, skinny boy!" I heard a second later, and I had no time to feel insulted before I was flying upwards toward her. I grabbed onto her other hand, and she dropped my wand behind her to pull me up.
"It's pretty sad," she said, once we were out of that hole, and before I had time to say thank you.
"What is?" I asked, avoiding her eyes. What if she realized what I had been doing?
"The fact that I can lift you up so easily and you took forever trying to lift me, when we're roughly the same size," she said, matter of factly.
I turned crimson, partly with embarrassment, and partly with anger. If she knew how strong I really was . . . No Remus, I told myself. No.
"Maybe you're just more manly than I am," I said, smiling at my comeback.
"Maybe you're just an undeveloped shrimp," she snapped, her eyes shooting out angry sparks.
I glared at her, surprised. For someone so pretty, she sure wasn't very nice. "You don't have to be so rude," I said. "I was just joking."
She stared at me for a moment. Then, she shook her head. "Whatever, shrimp," she muttered, starting to walk away.
"Remus," I called after her. "It's Remus Lupin."
---
For two weeks after that encounter, I couldn't get that girl out of my head. Her face with her too-big-lips, and her fairy-sized nose seemed to be imprinted behind my eyelids. I started to look for her casually in the Great Hall during mealtimes. She had to have been in the same year as me, but we had no classes together. I didn't even know what House she was in.
"Remus? Remus!" Someone pinched me hard, and I snatched my arm away.
I looked up. Sirius was across from me, grinning. "Daydreaming again?" he asked, batting his eyelashes.
I blushed. "So you noticed then?" I said.
James laughed. "Well, when you put your elbow in the middle of your soup, we kind of figured it out."
I looked down, and pulled my elbow out of my dinner, hoping fervently that no one was paying attention. I looked around as I dabbed my elbow with a napkin. Anyone who was looking at our table was either looking at James or Sirius. I sighed. That mystery girl was nowhere to be seen.
"So, what's on your mind?" Sirius asked. "Is it a girl? It's a girl, isn't it!"
I felt my face getting hot. Was I really that obvious?
"Oh, no, Sirius," James said, widening his eyes. "It can't be. Widdle Remus is afraid of girls, remember?"
"I am not!" I said, indignantly.
"So, I'm right?" Sirius asked, eagerly. "I knew it! What's her name?"
I felt myself getting hotter. "I-I don't know," I stammered. "She never told me."
"Do you know what House she's in? What does she look like?" James demanded.
"She's um . . . I don't know," I said, feeling a tad overwhelmed.
"Is she taller than you?" Peter squeaked to my right.
"No," I answered, a bit confused. "Why?"
Peter turned red. "No reason," he mumbled, busying himself with his food.
I saw Sirius and James exchange an amused glance, and I frowned. Even though I counted Peter as one of the group, the other two boys teased him an awful lot. I suppose it was because he tended to be a bit slow sometimes.
"She's blonde, sort of," I said, trying to distract them. Immediately, they turned to me and started to pay attention. "Well, it's more of a dirty blonde."
"How did you meet her?" James interrupted.
"Does she have a nice body?" Sirius jumped in.
I blushed again, not really wanting to answer either of those questions. "Dunno," I mumbled.
James and Sirius both let out frustrated sighs. "Remmie, how are we going to find her for you if you don't know anything about her? There has to be at least a million dirty blondes in this school," Sirius complained. "And you don't know her name or anything?"
I shrugged, suddenly wishing we were discussing a different topic. They seemed to sense that I didn't want to talk about her anymore because after giving me a long-suffering look, James changed the conversation to Quidditch. He was planning to try out for seeker this year, having failed last year.
I stood up, not feeling very hungry any more. "I'm heading back to the common room," I said, half-heartedly.
"See you," James said, without looking up, and Sirius just nodded. I smiled. Nothing could distract them from Quidditch.
I left out of the Great Hall, and headed in the direction of Gryffindor tower, not really paying attention to my surroundings. My head was so full of that mystery girl that I forgot to hold up the front of my too-big-robe as I usually did, so once again, I went sprawling across the floor, my wand flying out of my pocket and landing a few feet away from me.
"Figures the next time I'd see you, you'd be on the floor," an amused sounding voice said from behind me.
I jumped to my feet, managing not to trip this time, and turned on the spot, feeling my heartbeat quicken. The blonde girl! "H-Hi," I said, mouth suddenly dry.
She rolled her eyes as I struggled to untangle my twisted robes. I pulled my sleeves back, and extended my hand to her. She stared for a second, then looked up at me.
"What's that for?" she asked, rudely.
"We didn't have a chance to meet properly before," I said, suddenly feeling rather silly. "I'm . . . My n-name is Remus Lupin."
"I know that," she said, raising an eyebrow. "You shouted it at me when I was leaving last time, remember?"
My face colored. "Oh, r-right." I stood there awkwardly for a moment. "So, um, what's your name then?"
"Enna. Short for Julienna. Call me that and die," she said, bluntly.
I blinked, not sure if she was joking or not. She certainly looked serious.
"Lupin. You're a third year, right?" she suddenly asked when I didn't say anything. I nodded. "Gryffindor?" I nodded again, wondering how she knew.
"Are you a third year, too?" I asked, hesitantly.
"No," she said, looking slightly taken-aback at the idea. "Do I look that young?"
I was surprised, but I knew that, "Yes, you do look that young," would probably have been a stupid thing to say, so I didn't say anything.
"I'm a fourth year," she said, her eyes twinkling with mischief.
"Oh," I said, trying to hide my disappointment. She was older than me. No wonder we had no classes together.
"Ravenclaw," she added.
My eyes widened at this. "Really?" I asked.
"Yes, really," she said, growing irritated. "Do I not look smart enough to you, or something?"
I blushed. Again. "That's not. . . that wasn't what I meant," I said, not wanting to make her angry.
"Sure, it wasn't," she retorted.
I bristled, starting to get angry. Why exactly was she talking to me, anyway? Just when I was about to snap at her, or lash out, or do something – anything – I heard voices calling my name from behind me. James and Sirius.
"Hey, Remmie!" Sirius said, clapping me on the back. I almost fell over again from the unexpectedness of it. He gestured towards Enna. "You gonna introduce me to your . . ." - I watched, my face heating up with jealousy as Sirius's eyes roamed over Enna's body. - ". . . friend?" he finished.
James dangled my wand in front of my face. "Here, you go, Remus!"
I snatched my wand, scowling at Sirius.
"Who are you?" Enna asked, staring at Sirius. Another wave of jealousy ran through me as I watched Sirius smile at her. He was smiling that smile that I recognized as his lady charmer smile.
"Hey, Remus, is this your mystery girl?" James asked, nudging me, none too discreetly. Humiliation was all over my face I was sure.
"Sirius Black. And you would be?" Sirius said, still grinning stupidly at Enna. I glared at him, but he didn't notice. He was too busy making eyes at Enna.
"Julienna," she answered, unsmilingly.
"Well, Julienna, this is my friend, James Potter," Sirius said, gesturing towards James. Enna and James sort of nodded at each other. "And you already know Remmie," he added.
"Oh, yeah," Enna said, giving me a wink. I instantly turned red again. "Me and . . . Remmie . . . are old friends."
Sirius gave me a quick look that I recognized as envy, and for a moment I felt like gloating, until he turned back to Enna and gave her another award- winning smile. "Well, Julienna, I hope I'll be seeing a lot more of you."
I was the only one who saw Enna roll her eyes to that obvious sexual implied statement.
"Come on, guys," Sirius said, smirking and beckoning us to follow him. James followed, and I, glowering, followed after him.
---
"Sirius and Julienna. Julienna and Sirius. Sirius and Julienna. Hey, Remmie, which do you think sounds better?" Sirius asked me, later that night in our dormitory.
I purposely didn't answer, but instead climbed into the bed. Peter was asleep already. He had come up to the dormitory after we had and collapsed on the bed, mumbling something about being full, and James was in the showers.
"Hey, Remmie!" Sirius said.
I could feel his eyes on me, but I still didn't answer. I pulled the covers up to my chin, and closed my own eyes, hoping he would get the message and leave me alone.
A few seconds went by where he didn't say anything, then suddenly, "HEY, REMMIE!!!" he shouted in my ear.
"AHHHHH!" I jumped up and grabbed at my super sensitive ears. The ringing in them was intense. I glared at him. "Why did you do that!?" I exclaimed.
"You weren't listening," Sirius said, looking a bit surprised.
"You didn't have to yell in my bloody ears, stupid!" I yelled. Then I froze. I had never called Sirius, or any of my friends, any names before. Ever.
Sirius didn't say anything for a while. Then, finally he said, "Remmie, what's wrong?"
"Don't call me that," I said, avoiding the question. "My name is Remus, not Remmie."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Fine. Remus. What's wrong? What's the matter?"
"I'm not telling you," I said, feeling like a child, all of a sudden. "Why don't you find out for yourself?"
"Are you mad at me?" Sirius asked, genuinely confused. "Remmie, what did I do?" I didn't answer, just crawled back into the bed, and pulled the covers over my head.
I heard Sirius coming over to my bed, and I wished I had remembered to close the curtains. He yanked my covers down and stared down at me. I turned over. "Remmie, what did I do?" he repeated.
"Oh, nothing," I said, sarcastically. "You just made me look like an idiot today, is all."
"When?" Sirius asked.
I shook my head. "Leave me alone, Sirius," I muttered.
"But, Remmie – "
"I said, leave me alone!" I growled.
He didn't say anything. And after a moment, I heard him walk back across the room to his own bed. "Fine," he said, his voice low. "Goodnight, then." I didn't answer.
Needless to say, the tension in the room was pretty thick until I fell asleep.
---
"Do you think Julienna will want to have breakfast with me, today?" Sirius asked the following day. He was making faces at himself in the mirror.
James laughed, walking over to him. "It's Saturday, Sirius," he pointed out. "And it's a little late for breakfast, don't you think?"
Sirius stuck out his tongue. "Lunch, then."
James shrugged. "I don't know. And besides, isn't Julienna Remus's mystery girl?"
Sirius sucked in a breath. "She is? Are you sure? Remmie, is she your mystery girl?"
I gave him a cold stare, confirming the answer.
Sirius groaned. "Remmie! Why didn't you tell me? Hey! Is this why you were mad at me last night?" I gave him another cold stare. Sirius walked over and proceeded to shake my shoulders when I didn't answer.
I jerked back, stiffly. "Don't touch me," I said, my voice like ice.
Sirius was unruffled by my bitter demeanor. "Remmie, we were just flirting! It wasn't anything serious. I didn't even know that you knew her. When I asked you to introduce me to your friend, I was joking!"
I shrugged, still not looking at him.
"Remmie, say the word, and I won't touch her, okay?" Sirius said.
That was my chance right there. That was my moment, my opportunity. I could've said, "Don't touch her," and I knew Sirius wouldn't. But that would have meant admitting that I liked her when I wasn't even sure, yet. And I knew that if I said not to touch her, the guys would never let me live it down.
James was watching me closely. Even Peter had woken up to see what was going on. And Sirius . . . He was hoping I would give him the go-ahead.
I took a deep breath. "I – I don't care," I said, regretting the words, even as I said them. "Date her if you want."
After all, if she decided that she liked Sirius more than me, than there was nothing I could do about it, anyways.
---
A/N: In the books, J.K. never mentioned whether the summoning charm works on people, so I'm going to say it does in this story. And so does the levitation charm, "Wingardium Leviosa."