Scarred

Disclaimer: It belongs to J.K. Rowling and the readers' who already shaped Harry's world in their minds before it was put on film.

---

I shook my head. "It wouldn't work, Remus," I told myself. "It only works on Fridays, remember?" Still, my feet insisted that I climb the staircase, so I did. I stopped at the landing, and was nevertheless disappointed to find that I was in fact near the library.

I walked back to my favorite table and selected a random book. I just needed something to pass the time, and help me forget about her. About Enna.

---

James and Sirius did indeed bring some dungbombs back, as they demonstrated that night in the common room. People were running out of the room, holding their noses, and cursing. The sight might have been funny, had it not been for the fact that my nose was extra sensitive, and I was among the runners and cursers.

"That was great," Sirius breathed as we rounded a hallway, taking us away from the common room. He and James were laughing.

"I know!" James said. "Did you see the looks on their faces?"

Peter grimaced. "Dungbombs really smell bad, though," he whined.

"That's the fun of it!" Sirius sighed, happily.

I rolled my eyes. "For you, maybe," I muttered

Sirius's eyes went round. "Oh! Oops! Sorry, Remmie," he ruffled my hair, the same way James had done earlier. I shrugged.

"It doesn't matter, now."

"So, you heard anything about Julienna?" James asked in a would-be casual voice.

I tilted my head to the side. "Why?" I asked, trying to mimick his tone.

He shrugged, and avoided my eyes. "Just wondering."

I glanced at Sirius and Peter. If James was up to anything, their face expressions usually gave it away. James had an excellent poker face. Sirius did not, and Peter was just plain hopeless. However, Sirius and Peter weren't paying the slightest bit of attention to us. They were still laughing over the dungbombs.

I hesitated. "Well . . . I saw her yesterday," I said.

"During class?" James asked, raising his eyebrows. I nodded, tentatively. "I knew it! I knew you weren't sick!"

I grinned, sheepishly. "No, not sick."

"Well, what happened?" James asked. I noticed that we had come to the front doors. He pushed it, and held it open for me while I strolled through. Sirius and Peter were ahead and on their way to the tree we usually sat under. I saw that a lot of other angry looking Gryffindors were outside as well.

I went scarlet remember just exactly what had happened. "I kissed her," I whispered.

James stopped short. "What she your first?" he asked. I nodded, blushing even worse. He grinned. "Go, Remus!" He reached out to ruffle my hair again, but I ducked away from his hand. He and Sirius really had a bad habit of doing that.

"Well, what did she do?" he asked, settling down under the tree. He leaned his back against it, and looked up at me expectantly.

I sat down beside him, and played with a blade of grass. "I dunno what she did," I muttered. "I left after that."

"You ran away, didn't you?" James teased. I nodded again. He burst out laughing. "That's great!"

I sighed. "I dunno," I said, again. "What if she didn't like it?"

"Well, you didn't give her a chance to decide, now did you?" James said, laughing again.

I grinned, embarrassed. "No, I guess not."

"So, what now?" James asked me.

I shrugged. "I don't know. Should I try to find her? Or should I let her come to me? What if she doesn't come to me?"

"You just have to wait and see if she'll come to you," James said. "Don't go looking for her, though. That'll make you seem desperate. It just happened yesterday, right? So give her about three days for the shock to wear off. If she still doesn't come to you, then that's when you go after her."

He sounded so sure of himself that I believed him. He did have experience in this subject after all, and I really had no desire to ask Sirius. Who knew with him when it came to girls?

I smiled. "Thanks, James."

"No problem. If you're becoming a manly man like me, then I should help you in every way I can," he said, smirking.

I rolled my eyes. "Never mind."

---

I waited like he said, and by Tuesday (exactly three days later), I hadn't seen Enna. I slumped in Charms. I should have expected this. In fact, if she had come around, I would've been surprised. Then again, maybe I wouldn't have been. Enna came and went as she pleased.

I was worried more than usual this time, though. What if she wasn't coming to see me because she was disgusted by the kiss, or something? She had called me her little brother after all. What if she considered it a weird kind of incest? Of course, we weren't really related, but Enna was hard to figure out. She was very sarcastic, and that always made it really hard to tell if she was joking or not.

By the time classes were over, I was scared to death. What if she never wanted to see me again? I couldn't handle that. I didn't want to handle that.

Face set and pale, I strode in the direction of the Great Hall. I didn't even bother dropping my things off in the common room, first, because I doubted I'd be eating dinner tonight, anyways. Taking a deep breath, I stalked over to the Ravenclaw table, and cleared my throat.

Three girls, who were all older than me, stopped talking abruptly and turned to me, amusement and annoyance dancing on their features.

"Yes?" one of them asked, eyebrows raised.

I swallowed. I could do this. Just because they were older, had a sort of elegant look to them, and obviously smart, being in Ravenclaw and all, didn't make them any less human.

"Umm . . ." I swallowed again.

"He looks like he wants to ask you on a date, Trisha," one of them tittered. Her friend laughed, but the one who was looking at me raised her eyebrows even higher, if that was possible.

"YES?" she said, more impatiently, this time.

"I-I was . . . uh . . .do, um, do you kn-know Enna? I mean . . . Julienna?" I felt so stupid.

The girl tapped a finger on her chin, while her two friends giggled. "Julienna . . . hm . . . do you think you could describe her?" She gave me an inquiring look.

I wasn't sure if she was joking or not, but she seemed serious enough . . . even if her friends weren't. I felt my confidence boost up a notch. Maybe she could help me.

"She's . . . a fourth year," I said. "About my height, though. Her eyes, um, they're green. Really pale, too. And she's . . . uh, her hair is dirty blonde – "

"Wait, you mean Julienna Erwynde?" one of her friends interrupted. "The elf girl?"

Elf girl? I stared at her.

"Does she have a super small nose, and pointy ears?" the girl continued. Her eyes flashed with recognition. "That's who you're talking about, isn't it?"

I nodded, not liking the look in her eyes. "I think so." Enna didn't have pointy ears, did she? It occurred to me that I had never seen her ears. She always had her hair pulled down over them.

"So, elf girl has a boyfriend, does she?" the first girl, Trisha, said, smiling. I didn't like her smile. They were all smiling now.

"How . . . interesting," the one who had stayed silent, said. They all started to laugh.

My ears were burning. "I'm not . . . I'm not her boyfriend."

"Haha, sure you're not. Hey, look guys!" Trisha called to some seventh year Ravenclaws who had just arrived. "Elf girl couldn't find anyone to match her intelligence, so she had to go for height!" Everyone burst into laughter.

My face was flaming. I backed away, their loud laughter ringing in my ears. I turned and headed for those huge double doors. No wonder Enna never wanted to go to class. If I was going to be mocked like that everyday, I wouldn't want to go to class, either.

I felt myself starting to feel sorry for her. No wonder Enna was the way she was. She was more of a shadow, than a person. And Elven . . . she was part Elven, too. No wonder she had adjusted to my other state so easily. She had probably sensed all along that I wasn't human.

I sighed. Poor Enna . . . I headed toward the common room, my head heavy, and my heart full. If I loved her before . . . it was nothing compared to the way I felt now.

---

By the next day, it was all over the school that "elf girl" was dating someone a year younger than her, and someone in another house. No one knew that the someone was me, though. Sirius and James had figured it out, of course, but Peter remained blissfully clueless.

Needless to say, the week crept by very slowly. Friday really couldn't come fast enough for me. It was the day I'd finally get to see Enna, for she had stayed painfully distant this whole week. I was antsy in my last class, knowing I couldn't very well use the whole "I feel sick" excuse again.

When the bell rang, I jumped up, and was the first person out of the class, ignoring James's and Sirius's surprised shouts of, "Hey! Where you going?" and "Wait up, Remmie!"

I raced up that staircase, rounded those corners, climbed the tiny staircase, and burst into the Astronomy Tower. "Enna!" I breathed.

She was laying there, staring up at the ceiling. She hadn't even jumped when I'd come in. And she didn't say anything.

I suddenly felt embarrassed. I dropped my things off near the door, and sat down beside her. "Hi," I said, heat flushing my face as I remembered the kiss.

She wasn't answering me. I bit my lip nervously. "Enna . . . are you mad at me?"

She took a deep breath and sat up. "What exactly did you tell them, Remmie?" she asked, her voice low.

I blinked, feeling a little stunned. "Who?" I asked.

"Who do you think you are?" she said, her voice as cold as ice, and her eyes even colder. "You kiss me, then run off and tell the whole school that you're my boyfriend?"

"I-I – " I stammered.

"Bet they thought it was funny, too! Didn't they?" Enna sneered. "Do you know what they call me, Remmie? Huh? Well, look!" She yanked her hair back so hard that it made me wince. Then my eyes widened in surprise.

Her ears were pointed at the top.

She folded her arms across her chest and glared at him. "Elf girl," she said, quietly, but with the same amount of venom. "They call me, elf girl, because that's what I am. My mother is a pureblood elf and my father is a wizard. I'm half elven, Remmie."

For the first time ever, I saw tears well up in her eyes.

"That's why I'm the way I am," she said, trying to blink them back, and not succeeding. "I have to be tough. I have to not care because I'm not human, Remmie. Elves aren't human!"

Impulsively, I ran up to her and hugged her around the waist. "Don't say that," I mumbled, burrowing my head into her shoulder. "Don't say that."

She uncrossed her arms and put her hands down at her sides, balling them into fists. "Well, it's true," she said, defiantly. "It's true."

I pulled away from her, my heart beating rapidly. Tears were splashing down her cheeks, and her eyes were closed. That's when I saw it. She had scars, too.

Without even thinking, I leaned forward, took the tip of my tongue, and proceeded to lick her tears from her cheeks. She opened her eyes, surprise and confusion written all over her face.

"What are you - ?" she started to ask, but I interrupted her.

"Shhh," I said. "I'm going to make the pain go away."

The expression that crossed her face, then, was priceless. Her mouth dropped open, and she stared at me, wonder flittering across her features.

I could feel my face starting to heat up. "You're . . . crazy, you know," I said, "and wild, mental sometimes . . ."

She just continued to look at me. I don't think she had anything to say, for once.

" . . . and you're bloody amazing," I finished, letting out this rush of air.

She paused, then smirked. "Remmie, you just cursed," she pointed out.

I glared at her. "I just told you all of that . . . and all you can say is, 'Remmie, you just cursed'?" I folded my arms across my chest. She made me so angry sometimes.

She suddenly laughed, and reached out, pulling me into a hug. "I love you, too, Remmie," she whispered.

My eyes widened. Enna just . . . I hardly dared to breathe. Did she really just say what I . . . No. No, she wouldn't. It had to be some sort of dream.

But as she held me, I slowly wrapped my arms around her to rest my hands on the small of her back, and I dared to believe . . . that maybe . . . just maybe . . . this could work.

---

I vowed to help Enna. And I did. It didn't happen immediately, but gradually . . . Enna started to step out of the shadows. She started to go to classes, all of her classes, and I could tell she was beginning to enjoy herself. She even sat in the Great Hall once or twice. She sat at the Gryffindor table, not the Ravenclaw one, but at least she was there. (And I preferred it that way, anyway.)

The next Hogsmeade weekend was right before a full moon. I wasn't sure if I was feeling up to it, but I really wanted to go this time. I had to go. Enna had promised to go with me.

"Remmie, if you feel bad . . ."

"No!" I insisted. "You said you would go, and I want to go with you this time."

"Remmie – "

"I'm going, Enna," I said, jutting out my lower lip in a pout. "Don't try to talk me out of it."

She sighed. "Merlin, you are such a stubborn baby, sometimes."

I grinned. It was on a rare occasion that I got my way with her, especially when it concerned my health. Normally, I didn't mind it, though. I learned that this was her way of saying that she cared. And that she . . . loved me.

I looked over at her and smiled. Her hand was so tiny in mine. We walked along slowly, mostly because she was complaining that it was cold, but also because I knew she was worried about me.

"I'm fine, you know," I said, when I caught her shooting a concerned glance my way.

She glowered. "You are not. Baby."

I grinned, then spun her around and kissed her on the forehead. She fought to get out of my grasp, angry at the fact that I was a lot stronger than her. When I finally released her, she took a swipe at my chest.

"Hmmph!" she said. "Now you owe me a butterbeer."

"If that's what you want," I said, shrugging.

"Oh? Is there something better you can offer me?" she retorted, smirking.

I blushed. "No," I said, shortly. I hated it when she teased me like this. Hated it . . . and secretly liked it at the same time. Merlin. I was such a pervert when it came to her.

"You know, I think there is," she said, thoughtfully. Her eyes suddenly lit up, and my stomach sank. I knew that look.

"Enna . . ." I said, wearily. It was her, "come with me" look. And sure enough . . .

"Come with me," she said, excitedly. She held out a hand.

"Where?" I said, taking her hand. Because wherever she went, I'd follow. And she knew it. She didn't answer me, and I sighed, already knowing she was going to get me into some kind of trouble, or danger, like she usually did. However . . .

I followed her, whether I was stupid to do so or not. I didn't even ask myself if I was making a mistake. I just held her hand. And followed her.

Because I loved her.

---

Ariana S.