Lily had decided to go to Ray's house instead of going back home.
"If they call, we both know at the same time and they don't waste time calling my house. Besides, you live closer to the hospital." Lily explained to him.
So they sat in his house, an uncomfortable silence hanging over their heads.
"We should get some sleep." Ray offered.
"Yeah, maybe."
"So, uh. . . you can sleep in my room, I'll sleep down here on the couch."
"No, I feel guilty sleeping in your bed. I'll sleep down here."
He took her hands, which she had been wringing, and told her honestly, "Look Lily, it's fine. You need sleep. I slept at the hospital. Besides, I normally fall asleep on the couch watching TV or something."
She looked into his eyes and agreed, halfheartedly.
"Good, well. . . I. . . uh. . . I'll get you something to sleep in." "Okay." He left and returned within the minute with a T-shirt and a pair of boxers, and apologized for having nothing else.
"This is fine." She said honestly. She turned to change, but felt his hand on her wrist. He looked down, as though he were embarrassed, and muttered that they needed to talk.
She smiled awkwardly, "um. . . okay Ray, but let me change first." And she turned toward the bathroom. Wondering.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are people in the mountains.
Only not alive, more like mannequins.
Some are really creepy.
Some aren't.
When I walk around, I see a girl, a pretty, blonde girl, holding a guitar. She looks like she is singing and doing what she loves to do.
She's more than just a mannequin.
Then there's a guy, laughing and causing everyone around him to laugh.
He's more than just a mannequin.
And there's another guy, looking like everything caused a question in his mind. A question that he was determined to find.
He's more than just a mannequin.
They're my friends.
As weird as this may sound, I named them.
The names just came to me, and they fit them well.
Hello Shady Lane. Hello Pronto. Hello Question Mark.
Welcome to my hell.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Robbie woke up he found himself safe and warm beneath his sheets.
But the last thing he remembered was running, running until he just couldn't run anymore.
He turned over in his bed and almost screamed.
"DAD!" he yelled angrily, "What are you. . . Why are you in my room?"
Bill McGrath smiled and patted down his own miniature Afro.
"I'm not that scary looking am I?" He chuckled at his own joke.
"Were you watching me sleep?"
"A hobby I haven't taken up since you were three."
"Why?"
"Well mostly because you felt it was kind of awkward. . . Oh, not that. I'm in your room because Mickey called us about two hours ago and told us that you had fallen asleep outside of his store. He said you were scaring away customers." Bill smiled and tugged at a lock of Robbie's hair, "for the record, you smell really bad."
Robbie let an awkward laugh escape his mouth. "Sorry, pent up energy."
"Anyway, I heard Travis is in the hospital."
"You heard right."
"So, are you gonna tell me what's been going on?"
Robbie sighed, "me and Ray and Lily were at the hospital all night, skipped school and didn't leave until five this morning so we could get some sleep. Did I leave anything out?"
"No, that pretty much covers it." He sat on Robbie's and began absentmindedly playing with Robbie's hair.
"Dad?" he asked.
"Yeah Robs?"
"Can you stop that?"
Bill jumped back as if he had been burned, but then let his warm smile show that no harm had been done. "You know Robbie, I miss the days when I used to watch you sleep."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. You're growing up, and it's hard for your mother and me to deal with. You know, on your first week of kindergarten, you would come home and talk nonstop, for hours and hours. I think you told me everything- literally everything-that you had done. Robbie, I understand that you're not going to do that anymore."
"Dad, I still tell you things."
"I know, I know, but not everything-like Radio Free Roscoe." He added with a sly grin.
Robbie's mouth dropped. "How long? Since when? How?" His mouth couldn't seem to form a full sentence.
"I heard it on the radio one day. That's what you get when you have a two hour 'business drive'."
"But Travis-the voice scrambler-"
"You think I wouldn't know my own son's voice?"
Robbie sighed.
The man knew it all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am my own prisoner.
The man in the iron mask.
I don't even know how I remembered that.
It's like I understand the basics. Basic memories and stupid things that I know I'll never use.
At least not in this position.
Her voice is getting louder.
Mom! MOM! Listen to me. Help me.
I'm going crazy, that's the only explanation. I am absolutely insane.
But she's screaming for me. Telling me to leave and save myself. Telling me she loves me, that she will always love me. Even after she's. . .
Gone.
I have a new question, but I'm not sure that I'm ready to head in that direction yet. I'd rather just delude myself that she is speaking from the outside, one of the eight outer voices that I hear every hour.
I'd rather think that everything was normal. At least for now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God, what was taking her so long? He needed to apologize. And the guilt was beginning to gnaw on his insides.
He threw his head against the table and mentally berated himself for letting his emotions get the better of him.
"How could I have kissed her?" he asked himself in the cool silence.
"I don't know." Lily said from the door, "but I'm glad you did."
"Yeah.about that, I'm-what? You. . . you're glad?" The past two days events were beginning to put a wear-and-tear on his brain, he was obviously hearing things.
She moved closer to him and put her arms around his neck.
. . . and seeing things. . .
She pressed her lips against his and he felt his heart rate pick up.
. . . and feeling things. . .
But he was going to enjoy this fantasy. Besides, didn't the word fantasy derive from fantastic?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have you ever tried to explore your mind? Delve through your subconscious and reach small facts that you never knew you'd retained?
In my "waking hours," if you can call them that, that's all I try to do. I try to find something small that may reawaken me, my memory.
But it's like my mind is trying to hide something from me. Like there is a brick wall between me. . . and me.
I feel like all I have are my bare hands to chip away at this wall.
Where are the power tools when you need them?
Because whatever is on the other side, whether or not I want to know what it is, I know that I need to know, to understand.
It might be my key to solving the riddle.
The riddle being how can I escape my own body?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He kissed her back, like his life depended on it. He pressed his body against hers and they stayed like that for seconds, minutes, hours, days. Time didn't seem to function the same way anymore. All that mattered was that he was kissing Lily.
She deepened the kiss and he heard her moan. This is what he wanted. Life was good, life was very very good.
But life wasn't good. How could he be standing here, kissing Lily, when one of his other best friends was lying in a coma?
He pulled away from her, and immediately felt a loss of warmth.
Lily looked at him, annoyed, "What's wrong Ray?" she made an attempt to kiss him again, which he dodged.
"This is wrong. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong! You're just upset, and . . . I'm just taking advantage of you, and I-I just can't do that to you Lily."
"This has nothing to do with anything, just. . . please?" She pressed her lips against his and he felt himself weaken. She broke the kiss and let her lips travel down his neck. He was like putty in her hands, and he knew that. If she asked him to jump the moon he would, or die trying.
Her lips had somehow traveled back to his mouth.
She began walking towards the stairs, not breaking the kiss.
"What are you doing?" he asked, his mouth still connected to hers.
She broke the kiss and ran up the stairs, and he followed. She ran down the narrow hall, and he followed. She opened the door to his room, and he, hesitantly, followed. She kissed him again, and he followed her lead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Travis.
I let the name ring through my head.
I like doing this.
It gives me a feeling of who I might be. An identity.
A fake I.D.
Travis.
I wouldn't mind being this Travis person.
"If they call, we both know at the same time and they don't waste time calling my house. Besides, you live closer to the hospital." Lily explained to him.
So they sat in his house, an uncomfortable silence hanging over their heads.
"We should get some sleep." Ray offered.
"Yeah, maybe."
"So, uh. . . you can sleep in my room, I'll sleep down here on the couch."
"No, I feel guilty sleeping in your bed. I'll sleep down here."
He took her hands, which she had been wringing, and told her honestly, "Look Lily, it's fine. You need sleep. I slept at the hospital. Besides, I normally fall asleep on the couch watching TV or something."
She looked into his eyes and agreed, halfheartedly.
"Good, well. . . I. . . uh. . . I'll get you something to sleep in." "Okay." He left and returned within the minute with a T-shirt and a pair of boxers, and apologized for having nothing else.
"This is fine." She said honestly. She turned to change, but felt his hand on her wrist. He looked down, as though he were embarrassed, and muttered that they needed to talk.
She smiled awkwardly, "um. . . okay Ray, but let me change first." And she turned toward the bathroom. Wondering.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are people in the mountains.
Only not alive, more like mannequins.
Some are really creepy.
Some aren't.
When I walk around, I see a girl, a pretty, blonde girl, holding a guitar. She looks like she is singing and doing what she loves to do.
She's more than just a mannequin.
Then there's a guy, laughing and causing everyone around him to laugh.
He's more than just a mannequin.
And there's another guy, looking like everything caused a question in his mind. A question that he was determined to find.
He's more than just a mannequin.
They're my friends.
As weird as this may sound, I named them.
The names just came to me, and they fit them well.
Hello Shady Lane. Hello Pronto. Hello Question Mark.
Welcome to my hell.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Robbie woke up he found himself safe and warm beneath his sheets.
But the last thing he remembered was running, running until he just couldn't run anymore.
He turned over in his bed and almost screamed.
"DAD!" he yelled angrily, "What are you. . . Why are you in my room?"
Bill McGrath smiled and patted down his own miniature Afro.
"I'm not that scary looking am I?" He chuckled at his own joke.
"Were you watching me sleep?"
"A hobby I haven't taken up since you were three."
"Why?"
"Well mostly because you felt it was kind of awkward. . . Oh, not that. I'm in your room because Mickey called us about two hours ago and told us that you had fallen asleep outside of his store. He said you were scaring away customers." Bill smiled and tugged at a lock of Robbie's hair, "for the record, you smell really bad."
Robbie let an awkward laugh escape his mouth. "Sorry, pent up energy."
"Anyway, I heard Travis is in the hospital."
"You heard right."
"So, are you gonna tell me what's been going on?"
Robbie sighed, "me and Ray and Lily were at the hospital all night, skipped school and didn't leave until five this morning so we could get some sleep. Did I leave anything out?"
"No, that pretty much covers it." He sat on Robbie's and began absentmindedly playing with Robbie's hair.
"Dad?" he asked.
"Yeah Robs?"
"Can you stop that?"
Bill jumped back as if he had been burned, but then let his warm smile show that no harm had been done. "You know Robbie, I miss the days when I used to watch you sleep."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. You're growing up, and it's hard for your mother and me to deal with. You know, on your first week of kindergarten, you would come home and talk nonstop, for hours and hours. I think you told me everything- literally everything-that you had done. Robbie, I understand that you're not going to do that anymore."
"Dad, I still tell you things."
"I know, I know, but not everything-like Radio Free Roscoe." He added with a sly grin.
Robbie's mouth dropped. "How long? Since when? How?" His mouth couldn't seem to form a full sentence.
"I heard it on the radio one day. That's what you get when you have a two hour 'business drive'."
"But Travis-the voice scrambler-"
"You think I wouldn't know my own son's voice?"
Robbie sighed.
The man knew it all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am my own prisoner.
The man in the iron mask.
I don't even know how I remembered that.
It's like I understand the basics. Basic memories and stupid things that I know I'll never use.
At least not in this position.
Her voice is getting louder.
Mom! MOM! Listen to me. Help me.
I'm going crazy, that's the only explanation. I am absolutely insane.
But she's screaming for me. Telling me to leave and save myself. Telling me she loves me, that she will always love me. Even after she's. . .
Gone.
I have a new question, but I'm not sure that I'm ready to head in that direction yet. I'd rather just delude myself that she is speaking from the outside, one of the eight outer voices that I hear every hour.
I'd rather think that everything was normal. At least for now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God, what was taking her so long? He needed to apologize. And the guilt was beginning to gnaw on his insides.
He threw his head against the table and mentally berated himself for letting his emotions get the better of him.
"How could I have kissed her?" he asked himself in the cool silence.
"I don't know." Lily said from the door, "but I'm glad you did."
"Yeah.about that, I'm-what? You. . . you're glad?" The past two days events were beginning to put a wear-and-tear on his brain, he was obviously hearing things.
She moved closer to him and put her arms around his neck.
. . . and seeing things. . .
She pressed her lips against his and he felt his heart rate pick up.
. . . and feeling things. . .
But he was going to enjoy this fantasy. Besides, didn't the word fantasy derive from fantastic?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have you ever tried to explore your mind? Delve through your subconscious and reach small facts that you never knew you'd retained?
In my "waking hours," if you can call them that, that's all I try to do. I try to find something small that may reawaken me, my memory.
But it's like my mind is trying to hide something from me. Like there is a brick wall between me. . . and me.
I feel like all I have are my bare hands to chip away at this wall.
Where are the power tools when you need them?
Because whatever is on the other side, whether or not I want to know what it is, I know that I need to know, to understand.
It might be my key to solving the riddle.
The riddle being how can I escape my own body?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He kissed her back, like his life depended on it. He pressed his body against hers and they stayed like that for seconds, minutes, hours, days. Time didn't seem to function the same way anymore. All that mattered was that he was kissing Lily.
She deepened the kiss and he heard her moan. This is what he wanted. Life was good, life was very very good.
But life wasn't good. How could he be standing here, kissing Lily, when one of his other best friends was lying in a coma?
He pulled away from her, and immediately felt a loss of warmth.
Lily looked at him, annoyed, "What's wrong Ray?" she made an attempt to kiss him again, which he dodged.
"This is wrong. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong! You're just upset, and . . . I'm just taking advantage of you, and I-I just can't do that to you Lily."
"This has nothing to do with anything, just. . . please?" She pressed her lips against his and he felt himself weaken. She broke the kiss and let her lips travel down his neck. He was like putty in her hands, and he knew that. If she asked him to jump the moon he would, or die trying.
Her lips had somehow traveled back to his mouth.
She began walking towards the stairs, not breaking the kiss.
"What are you doing?" he asked, his mouth still connected to hers.
She broke the kiss and ran up the stairs, and he followed. She ran down the narrow hall, and he followed. She opened the door to his room, and he, hesitantly, followed. She kissed him again, and he followed her lead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Travis.
I let the name ring through my head.
I like doing this.
It gives me a feeling of who I might be. An identity.
A fake I.D.
Travis.
I wouldn't mind being this Travis person.