An Uncanny Christmas

Chapter 2: A Merry Mayhem Christmas

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- I don't own anything. Mayhem, Father Michaels and everybody at the orphanage belong to Agent-G.

Shout Outs-

Mimato-4eva- Yeah, I love Christmas fics too. Enjoy!

Agent-G- Brian doesn't drink because he used to be an alcoholic and once even hit Meggan in a drunken rage. My money's on Baby Betsy taking after her mother.

Avengers Complex; Malibu, California-

The home of the West Coast Avengers was bustling with festive activity as the team made their Christmas preparations. Hawkeye, Quicksilver, Crystal, Luna and Jim Rhodes were going back to the mansion in Manhattan to celebrate Christmas with the Eats Coast Avengers while Ant-Man took Cassie to his parents' house. Songbird didn't he anywhere to go either so Scott kindly asked her to come along too. Seeing that he was Jewish, Justice was going back to New York to celebrate Hanukkah with his mother. Firestar was tagging along with him. Namorita was going to Atlantis to try and get her cousin into the holiday spirit. She wasn't sure why she was even bothering; it wasn't as if Namor even cracked a smile nowadays. Copycat had invited Maddie to come and meet her mother for Christmas, as she kind of doubted that the redhead would visit her ex-husband for the holidays. That just left Mayhem and Tigra.

Vince was presently in his room taking care of some last minute packing. Once he was sure that he had packed enough warm clothes, he struggled to zip up his case. Even with his super-strength he couldn't' make the zip budge. He sighed in exasperation and sat down on his bed. At least the presents for Father Michaels and everybody at the orphanage were safe and snug in the Quinjet. Vince didn't really know how to fly the Quinjet yet so he just had Ant-Man programme in the coordinates for Toronto.

Vince was just about to give zipping up his case another go when Tigra popped her head around the door.

'Hey Vince, aren't you ready yet?' The weretiger asked. 'I thought you wanted to get home before the show started.'

'I'm trying to.' Vince replied. 'But this damn suitcase won't stay closed.'

'Pff, men.' Tigra snorted as she walked over and zipped up Vince's casein one swift motion. 'See, wasn't so hard now, was it?'

Vince just blinked a few times in confusion.

'H-how… Wha…Huh?' He stuttered.

'Aha, women can just do some things that guys can't.' Tigra replied with a cheeky grin. 'Y'know, like wrapping presents or multi-tasking.'

Vince just chuckled to himself and lugged his suitcase out of his room.

'Haven't you got anywhere to go?' He asked. 'Y'know, family or friends?'

'I guess I'll just join Clint and the others in New York.' Tigra replied with a shrug. 'Nothing too grand.'

'I've got a crazy idea.' Vince said as a small smile spread on his face. 'Why don't you come to Toronto with me?'

'There's really no need.' Tigra replied. 'I don't wanna be a burden.'

'I insist on it.' Vince said. 'You wouldn't underestimate my stance as a gentleman, would you?'

'I guess not.' Tigra shrugged. 'Just gimmie a sec and I'll go pack some warm clothes.'

The skies above Canada, later-

Vince and Tigra were sitting back and enjoying the view below them. Fortunately, on this trip to Toronto, they didn't have to fight the Hulk.

The journey was quite a long one so they decided to talk about their histories. Tigra talked about her life as the feline vigilante known as he Cat until a near-fatal gunshot wound forced her to seek help form the mysterious Cat People who then infused her with a feline soul, which changed her into her current furry form.

'You really hit on Captain America?' Vince asked, trying to hold back his laughter. 'Man, What I'd give to see that.'

'Cap wasn't the only one.' Tigra replied. 'I hit on every guy on the team. Damn slutty cat soul. Anyway, what about you Vince, you got anybody back home?'

'Ma, talk about getting to the point.' Vince snickered. 'Well, there was this one girl, Mary. I guess you could call her my girlfriend but… she broke up with me when she found out I was a mutant.'

Tigra shook her head and placed her hand on top of Vince's.

'I hate bigoted people like that.' She said seriously. 'I bet all the hot mutant chicks were throwing themselves at you though.'

'I wish.' Vince snorted. 'They always went for the buff jock-type guys. Kinda like Guardian or that Cyclops guy.'

'I'm sure not every girl's like that.' Tigra said. 'Some like the mysterious guy. It's fun getting to know what makes him tick.'

'It sounds like you're speaking form experience.' Vince replied, a cheeky smile spreading on his face.

'Maybe I am…' Tigra replied coyly.

Before the questions could continue, the computer signalled that the autopilot was about to shut down as they were nearing their destination.

'I guess I'll better land this baby. Tigra said as she turned to the control panel. 'Just look and learn m'man.'

Toronto-

After depositing the Quinjet in a safe spot, Vince led Tigra over to the old orphanage where he grew up. The weretiger didn't even know that her teammate was an orphan, seeing that he rarely talked about his past.

Their arrival had been pretty well timed as the winter snow had hardly started to fall.

'Man, it must be great to have a white Christmas.' Tigra said as she looked around at their surroundings. 'We hardly ever got them back in New York.'

'Well it kinda lost its magic after you get them day in and day out.' Vince replied. 'Then there's the whole thing with snowdrifts.'

'But super strength's a boon there, huh?' Tigra asked. 'I bet everybody gets you to do all their chores.'

'Well, there are some things I don't do.' Vince replied. 'I won't remove the gunk out of people's gutters. That's just disgusting.'

Tigra just shivered in disgust as Vince stopped outside a red-bricked building. A plaque on the wall showed the name St Peter's Orphanage. Vince stepped up to the door and knocked. After a short wait, a kindly, grey-haired man opened the door and his face lit up as he saw Vince standing there.

'We really can't keep you away, can we Vincent?' Father Michaels asked with a warm smile on his face.

'You know what I'm like, Father Michaels.' Vince replied as he gave Father Michaels a quick hug. 'You can take the Canuck out of Canada but you can't take Canada out of the Canuck.'

'I see that you've brought a friend.' Father Michaels said as he saw Tigra standing by nervously. 'And a famous one at that. Nice to meet you Miss… Tigra.'

'Please call me Greer, Father.' Tigra replied as she shook his hand.

'Very well.' Father Michaels nodded. 'The children are quite excited to find out that their Big Brother is and Avenger, especially after the incident with the Hulk. I'm sure that Master Kansuke was pleased to see you use such restraint.'

'Restraint?' Tigra snorted. 'He blasted the Hulk to France!'

'I was holding back.' Vince replied simply. 'I could have done much worst, trust me.'

Tigra decided to take his word for it as Vince and Father Michaels led her inside.

As soon as the trio stepped one foot into the orphanage, Vince was ambushed by several of the orphanage's younger children.

'Vince, you're back! What'sAmericalike? Haveyoufoughtanybodycool? Whathaveyoubroughtus? Huhhuhhuh?'

'Whoa there, kids.' Vince chuckled as he tried to keep his balance. 'Once question at a time, okay?'

'Yes, Vincent and Miss Greer must be tired form their journey.' Father Michaels added. 'Now, why don't you run along? I believe some of the others are making snowmen around the back.'

'Aww, but we wanted to see Vince.' The kids pouted.

'I'll come out and join you in a sec, okay?' Vince replied. 'I just wanna talk to Father Michaels for a bit, okay?'

The kids just muttered reluctantly and slunk outside to give them some peace.

'Man, nice kids you got there.' Tigra said. 'They didn't even ask me for an autograph.'

'What's the matter?' Vince replied with a chuckle. 'I never figured you for a diva.'

Tigra just stuck his tongue out at her teammate and followed Father Michaels further inside.

Later-

Vince and Tigra were now outside with the rest of the kids. They were having a snowball fight. Vince was trying to find his opponents. Unfortunately, all of the kids had decided to gang up on him along with Tigra.

'Man, I could really do with some heightened senses right about now.' Vincent thought out loud.

Unfortunately, Vince didn't see a pair of feline eyes peering out form under a nearby pile of snow.

'Attack!' Tigra yelled as she jumped out form her hiding place.

Before Vince could even raise even one hand in defence, he was hit with a barrage of snowballs.

'Hey, now fair!' He groaned. 'That was an ambush! Ow! Nuts!'

'Them's the rules of the game, bub.' Tigra replied as she caught the Canadian on the back of his head. 'You're just a bad loser.'

'At least I don't fight dirty.' Vince said with mock hurt as he brushed the snow off himself.

'What do you kids say we go inside and clean up, huh?' Tigra said. 'I've got cookies!'

A collective cheer rose form the kids as they charged back inside, leaving a show-battered Vince standing there on his own.

Later still-

After a quick clean up, Vince decided to go visit his old sensei, Mr Kansuke.

'Ever the mysterious ninja guy, huh?' Tigra asked as she walked beside Vince.

'Samurai actually.' Vince replied.

'Man, you learn something new every day.' Tigra nodded. 'You even got your own sword?'

'Sure have.' Vince replied. 'Master Kansuke gave it to me after I completed my training.'

'And he knows that you're a mutant, right?' Tigra asked. 'As well as Father Michaels and the kids?'

'Yup, those guys are the only ones that know about my powers.' Vince replied. 'Which is kinda ironic seeing that I was a member of Alpha Flight and everything.'

Tigra just nodded in reply and followed Vince to Master Kansuke's dojo. She stepped to the side as Vince knocked on the door.

The door soon opened and an old Japanese man peered out.

'Merry Christmas, sensei.' Vince said with a bright smile on his face.

Master Kansuke's face lit up as he saw his former student standing before him.

'You do know that I don't celebrate Christmas, Vincent.' Master Kansuke replied only half-seriously. 'But it is wonderful to see you again.'

Vincent stepped aside to Tigra could say hello.

'Umm, hey Master Kansuke.' Tigra said with a slight bow. 'Vince has told me lots about you and I must say, it's nice to meet so many of his friends.'

'Vincent always has been a solitary young man.' Master Kansuke replied. 'Even when he joined Alpha Flight but it is nice to see that he has brought his girlfriend to meet me.'

Vince's face flushed bright red, as he looked to Tigra for hep. Tigra stumbled for a reply.

'W-we're not together.' She stuttered. 'W-we're just friends and he was kind enough to ask me to come and meet all of his friends.'

Master Kansuke just gave them a knowing smile

'Would you like to come in for some refreshment?' He asked. 'I would like to hear about our adventures with the Avengers.'

'How could I resist when you ask me like that?' Vince replied with a small smile as he followed Master Kansuke into his dojo. Tigra followed sit and shut the door behind them.

Back at the orphanage-

After they had told Master Kansuke about their adventures with the Avengers, Vince and Tigra went back to the orphanage for dinner. They were presently watching the children set up the Christmas decorations.

'Ma, Father Michaels really knows how to do up a place for Christmas.' Tigra sad. 'I guess it comes with the job when you're a priest, huh?'

'Pretty much, yeah.' Vince replied. 'We even sit around the fire and sing carols.'

Tigra nodded and continued to watch the kids do their thing.

'Umm Vince, about what Master Kansuke said…' Tigra said, unsure how to voice her feelings.

Vince looked at the weretiger with an intrigued expression.

'About you being my girlfriend, right?' He asked.

'Kinda, yeah.' Tigra replied. 'To tell you the truth, I've kinda been thinking about it a lot. It seems like everybody's been paired up in the team. There's Pie and Crystal for a start. Vance and Angel…'

'Are you trying to ask me out?' Vince asked, rather amused at his companion's plight.

'Yeah…' Tigra replied, with an embarrassed smile on her face. 'You think I'm a slut, right?'

'No, of course not.' Vince replied honestly. 'I think you're an intelligent beautiful young woman.'

'Aww, thanks.' Tigra said, her embarrassment lifting somewhat. 'You're cute too.'

Unseen by the two, the kids had finished putting up the decorations and were staring intently at them. One of the kids was even holding a sprig of mistletoe above their heads.

'Aww, isn't that adorable?' The girls all cooed. 'C'mon, are you guys gonna kiss or what?'

Vince and Tigra both looked up at the sprig of mistletoe being held aloft.

'Be a shame to disappoint them.' Tigra said, her voice heavy with hope.

'Who am I to deny a lady her wishes?' Vince replied as he moved in closer. Tigra followed suit and puckered up. Vince leant in and placed a chaste kiss on the weretiger's lips. Tigra opened her eyes again.

'Man, if you call that a kiss, I can see that I'll have to show you how to do things properly, huh?' She teased.

'Okay, now I'm scared.' Vince replied light-heartedly.

END…

Next: Merry Hanukkamas

Illyana and Piotr Rasputin join Kitty Pryde for Hanukkah in Deerfield.