Writer's block is EVIL! I had no idea where to go from the last chapter.
I DO know where I wanna go with how Travis got sick, but it will take a while to explain, ITS COMING!
I apologize if this chapter is confusing and dumb and not good.
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Waking up the next morning was like being woken up with a sledgehammer to her head.
She didn't feel like moving, it was just so much more comfortable to lie here in this unfamiliar bed and pretend that life was good.
But that's all it was. Pretend.
The memories started to flood back, and suddenly she felt as though the once comfortable unfamiliar bed was repelling her away.
And then it all hit her. Before. With Ray.
The door swung open and she felt her face flush. "Hey," she muttered and turned her head. It was too awkward to look at him.
"Hey," Ray repeated. He walked over to his dresser and took out some clothes. "Just came in here to get some clothes, gotta shower."
"Yeah," she said shyly.
"I didn't think you'd be awake, I'm sorry, I'll just leave now."
"No—can we…talk?"
"'Bout what?"
"Well, y'know, last night…and everything."
"Actually, it was more like this morning, you've been asleep for about ten hours. It's six now."
"PM?"
"Yeah."
An uncomfortable silence filled the room.
"So…" Ray said. "You wanted to talk?" she nodded sheepishly, "so, uh, no word yet on Travis, but…uh…Robbie called and he sounds…refreshed."
"That's kinda not what I meant, but that's good, about Robbie I mean, and I guess, with Travis, no news is good news, right?" He nodded, "right," she answered herself.
"So…" he avoided her eyes. "about this morning, it was all my fault, and I just wanted to say Lily," he sighed deeply, as if the thought of the morning that almost was, caused him pain, "Lily, my god, from the bottom of my heart I am so sorry."
"We didn't…uh…" Ray shook his head. "Oh," she said.
"Oh," he repeated.
"Me too." She said softly, "I'm sorry."
"So we're…uh…both sorry."
"Looks like it."
"So…uh…Robbie went over the air today and apologized to everyone that, y'know, we couldn't be there."
"Really?" he nodded.
"Lily, um…"
"What?"
"I was just wondering,"
"What?"
"Do…uh…do you want to take the
first shower? Our hot water is a little
faulty and only one of us can take a thirty minute shower at once."
"Oh, sure."
"I'll have to show you how it works, it's a little confusing,"
"Okay."
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I'm nine years old again.
In a brand new tuxedo for some benefit my dad had to attend.
My mom and I always hated those stuffy events. It was not unusual to see us walking around the block looking for an ice cream store or something.
She looked nervous and held me closer than I ever remember.
The block was empty and there was no ice cream store. There wasn't anything.
My mind wandered back to that morning when my parents had received a letter. They looked so upset and nervous and angry. I had never seen my parents so angry.
I always liked getting mail. It usually contained birthday money from my grandparents or soccer magazines. I didn't see what was so upsetting about a stupid letter.
Mom wanted to stay home. To just stay home and watch T.V. and eat moose track ice cream.
Moose tracks was my favorite.
But Dad had insisted. He said that security would be extremely tight at the benefit. Home would be too obvious.
Whatever 'tight security' meant.
I heard a click in the distance, and my mother held me tighter.
She began to whisper. I don't think she even knew what she was saying, it was just a nervous instinct.
"Don't trust those damn cops. Gotta hide. Gotta hide Travis. Keep him safe. Don't touch my baby, not my sweet little baby boy."
I was beginning to get scared. She was gripping me too tightly, I couldn't breathe. She kissed my head and reassured me.
Another click in the distance, only this one was less distant.
Were we being followed?
I closed my eyes and concentrated on the sounds around me. I heard footsteps.
A brick building loomed over us, with a huge dumpster on the side of it. My mother laughed and walked over to it.
"Mom what are you-"
She shushed me vehemently. I felt her hand slide under my arms and she picked me up.
"Mom I don't wanna-"
She shushed me again. And I felt my body go limp as she placed me inside the disgusting dumpster.
Then all was dark.
I don't remember much after that.
I remember my mother's high-heeled footsteps running in the other direction.
Then I remember screaming. And in the screaming I could hear words.
"TRAVIS! TRAVIS I LOVE YOU BABY! GO! LEAVE! I LOVE YOU AND I ALWAYS WILL! EVEN WHEN I'M GONE I WILL ALWAYS LO—"
And in two loud bangs the screaming stopped. And I was left on my own again.
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He wanted an excuse. He desperately needed an excuse to hold her, to touch her, it was slowly becoming an obsession. The thought of her in his shower, it was too much to bear. He was becoming a nervous wreck.
Ray needed something to distract him.
Somewhere in the back of his mind he heard the phone ring.
"Oddly convenient," he muttered, unaware that he had said it aloud.
He picked up the phone, a little nervous about what the call may hold.
"Hey, it's Robbie."
"Yeah, hey."
"Are you going to the hospital anytime today?"
"Yeah, maybe later. I need a break right now."
"Can't disagree with you there." Robbie said lightly, "so is Lily there? I called her house about an hour ago and no one answered. Maybe she was just asleep."
"She slept at my house."
"Oh, cool. So you got any phone calls from the hospital?"
"Why would the hospital call us? We're friends, not family."
"Then how will we know if there's any news?"
"Maybe Mr. Strong will tell us, or we can call the hospital."
"Yeah, right."
"Are you coming over? I kinda need to tell you something."
"Yeah, sure."
"I feel like I need to warn you. You will freak out once you hear this."
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My dad got married on my eleventh birthday.
I did not like the lady.
She smelled like a mixture of pineapples and my gym socks.
Plus, she wasn't good to me.
She tried. She tried to make me like her.
She bought me toys, she bought me whatever I wanted. She let me do whatever I wanted.
But she wasn't what I wanted.
She looked at me as if I was this little kid to be pitied.
I had a good life. My mother was dead, but otherwise I had a good life.
I couldn't explain my feelings toward this woman, but I didn't trust her.
I was no red-headed stepchild.
I wanted to be a normal eleven year old.
But it just wasn't that simple.
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Robbie was a little confused. So after he had left the hospital, Lily and Ray started making out in the waiting room. Then Lily came home with Ray, where they continued this little make out session and almost…
"Yeah, I told you it would sound a little weird."
Robbie narrowed his eyes, "but you…didn't…"
"No!"
Robbie leaned back in his chair and exhaled deeply. "Good, because you know you would just be using her."
"No duh." Ray leaned forward in his chair, "but now…now that I know what it's like, to kiss her…to hold her. I can't…I just can't function."
Robbie was confused again, "Where is Lily?"
"Oh, she went home to get some clean clothes."
Robbie yawned.
"How much sleep did you get anyway?" Ray asked.
"About five hours. That's usually how much I get on a school night."
"You can go take a nap if you want. I am later."
"Thanks man, but I'm way too stressed."
"So, was it weird being in the station?"
"You have no idea."
"I can imagine."
"No, You can't. You weren't there. You see all these things that Travis did or made, and you know that it was because of Travis that all that stuff is there. And that if anything happens…that you…that it won't be the same anymore."
The pause that followed this statement was too much to handle. Robbie and Ray were both sick of the awkward silences. "I don't want things to change, man."
"None of us do. But they may have to."