Disclaimer: I don't own the Kids Next Door or Cartoon Network. This skit is about Hoagie as an old man. This skit is owned by Adam Sandler, so don't sue, it's not mine. Enjoy!!! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Car approaches Toll Booth Hoagie: "Welcome to San Diego. Dollar twenty-five please." Nigel: "Hey, how ya doin' Toll Booth Hoagie?" Toll Booth Hoagie: "Good! Thanks fer askin, pop!" Nigel: "Aww, that's great, you know, considering yer a fuckin' idiot!" Pays toll and drives off Toll Booth Hoagie: "Go fuck yourself you son of a bitch! I'll come right outta the booth and fuckin' whack ya, you fuckin' prick!" Another car approaches Wally: "Hey, hey, Willie! Hows it going?" Toll Booth Hoagie: "Hey, can't complain, pop. Hows 'bout you?" Wally: "Oh, great, great. How much?" Toll Booth Hoagie: "The state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop." Wally "That's fine. Now should I give you the money, or should I shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?" Pays toll and drives off Toll Booth Hoagie: "Why you fuckin' hard on! I'll fucking Carlton Fisk yer fuckin' head with a Louise-ville fuckin' slugger! Whadya think of that ass fuck!?" Another car approaches Abby: "Hi Willie." Toll Booth Hoagie: "Oh, nice to see ya M'am. Not a bad day, huh?" Abby: "Well, I'm a little lost. Could you help me out? I hear your the best with directions." Toll Booth Willie: "Well I know my way around California. I can tell ya that much. So where ya headed?" Abby: "Well, I was just wondering exactly which is the best way to drive up your ass. You know, if you'd tell me, I'd appreciate it, you fuckin' prick." Drives off Toll Booth Haogie: "You fuckin' bitch! Fuck you! You forgot to pay the fuckin' toll you dirty whore! I'll fuckin' drop you with a boot to the fuckin' skull you cm guzzling queen!" Another car approaches Lizzie: "Hey Hoagie." Toll Booth Willie: "Hey, how are ya?" Lizzie: "Here's a dollar twenty-five, and go fuck yourself." Pays toll and drives off Toll Booth Hoagie: "Dah, you fuckin' prick! I hope you choke on a fuckin' bottle cap, ya fuckin' son of a fuck! Eat shit! Eat my shit!" Another car approaches Bishop Nelson: "Hello Hoagie. Good to see you." Toll Booth Hoagie: "Ahhh, Bishop Nelson. Nice to see ya. That was quite a sermon you had the other day." Bishop Nelson: "Hey, well I do my best." Toll Booth Willie: "Dollar twenty-five, Bishop." Bishop Nelson: "Dollar twenty-five, Hoagie. Isn't that the same price your mother charges for a blow job, you piece of dog shit!?" Pays toll and drives off Toll Booth Hoagie: "Ohhh! Have another one, you fuckin' lush! It's not my fault the bartender cut ya off last night ya fuckin' douche bag!" Another car approaches Numbuh 30c: "Hey!" Toll Booth Hoagie: "Well hey!" Numbuh 30c: "Yeah, do you want the money, or should I just shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?" Pays toll and drives off Toll Booth Hoagie: "Well, I already heard that one you fuckin' unoriginal bastard! Go suck a corn you fuckin' piece of repeatin' shit!" Another car approaches Kuki: "Hi." Toll Booth Hoagie: "Oh, hi. How are ya?" Kuki: "Fine, thank you. How much is the toll please?" Toll Booth Hoagie: "For you sweetheart, it's a dollar twenty-five." Kuki: "Here ya go." She begins begins to drive off when… Toll Booth Hoagie: "Hey! Hey! Honey! Would you like a receipt with that?" Kuki: "Oh, I almost forgot. Thank you so much." Toll Booth Hoagie: "And here ya are." Kuki: "Umm, do you think you could sign it?" Toll Booth Hoagie: "Oh, uh.. sign it?" Kuki: "Yeah, sign Toll Booth Hoagie was here." Toll Booth Willie: "Ok, sure. Uhh, by the way, what is this for?" Kuki: "Just so I could have proof for my friends that I met the biggest fuckin' dip shit with the smallest dick alive. You understand." Drives off Crumples up paper Toll Booth Hoagie: "Fuck you, you fuckin' upity bitch! I'll fuckin' fuck you and all your lesbian fish-eating friends in front of your fuckin' mothers! You're gonna die, bitch! I'm comin' outta the booth!" Opens the door and runs out of the booth Car screeches and hits him Toll Booth Hoagie: "Ooooh! My fuckin' leg!" Tommy: "Hey! You ran over Toll Booth Hoagie!" Fizz: "Oh my God! I was always wondering what it would be like to run over a dried up stinky dick licker." Toll Booth Hoagie: "Why you fuckin' pricks. I fuckin' hear every fuckin' word yer saying! When this fuckin' leg heals, I'm gonna kick you guys new fuckin' assholes! Although Hoagie is one of my favorite characters in the KND, I felt that I needed to bash him and flames are welcome this time. Mahalo, bitches NewFoundDude