In which a plan is formed and the Author gets revenge. PLUS Miss Scarlett in the library with the…lipstick?
Delores Umbridge was sick of Kreacher. The house elf was certifiably insane. He wouldn't stop muttering loudly to himself and seemed to think that no one could hear him. Plus even though he was in fact a house elf and was supposed to clean relentlessly, in 2 days he had made more of a mess than the best elf could clean in weeks. The Alice banded Slytherin was attempting to tidy her part of the room at least, while furiously thinking of a way to permanently remove the elf from her living space. Moving a large pile of socks that had come from Merlin knows where, Delores discovered a gorgeous tortoise patterned jewel encrusted shell. Picking it up she noticed that it slightly resembled a jewelry box. She tossed it in the air and could have sworn it vibrated when she caught it. Cautiously she tapped it and when nothing happened she grinned thinking she had found the 'prize'. As she tried to pry it open to see what was inside of, she ignored the warm feeling that one side of the box was giving off. Then unexpectedly a flame shot out of one end burning her arm up to her elbow catching her robes on fire in the process. Screaming Umbridge dropped the box and slowly a tortoise emerged, its head and limbs appearing from the holes Delores had not noticed.
" He had to have done, it she told me he tried to kill her when she was in her second year."
"But when you or anyone else last saw her he was in the dining room with everyone else flinging pasta and mashed potatoes!"
"Don't forget the Borscht! Why did he try to kill her?"
"Same reason as all the other people. Power or sick pleasure"
" What else did she tell you? Did she say you and James got married? I know she did. I bet I was best man."
"SIRIUS!"
Lily James and Sirius were in the library discussing the events of late and Sirius was having a little trouble focusing.
"That's not the point" Lily said, flushing "Voldemort definitely did it and Dumbledore too." Lily finished with a smug look on her face as if that decided it all. James however looked skeptical.
"But he was in the room…"
"That doesn't mean anything. Maybe she got lost he found her and seized the moment"
" What about mini Malfoy" Sirius said looking at a spot on the table and humming a song.
" He didn't like her either and he looked pretty happy when Lily said you couldn't find her after dinner."
"Maybe… but I still think it was Tom."
"Tom?"
"Voldemort is too long"
"Maybe it was him and Stinkerbella, they're all ways talking."
" Which him Malfoy or Tom?"
"Malfoy" James and Sirius answered her question at the same time as if it were the most obvious thing in the ever.
" Oh in that case talk to Malfoy about whatever. Bella wouldn't talk to us for anything. Get her out of the way and you're clear."
"Why would anyone bother talking to them?"
"To see if they did it or not"
" But they'll just deny it"
" And that… is where you catch them"
"So" Sirius interjected "Can I be the distraction!!! For Bella!!" Lily and James rolled their eyes in unison.
" Sure"
As 3 scheming Gryffindors exited the library, one very affronted Dark Lord entered. The look that the Potter or rather Evans girl gave him sealed what he already knew. He was being blamed for the latest disappearance. It was not his fault that Ginny was missing! This was a definite down side to being Voldemort. No one ever believed him when he was actually innocent.
" Do they think I would actually off my own friggin shrink?! Now what happens when I need to rant and rave at someone? Ginny listened, so now who will."
" Maybe I will," Voldemort spun around maybe I will," Voldemort spun around maybe I will," Voldemort spun around maybe I will," Voldemort spun around maybe I will," Voldemort turned around to see Miss Scarlett the maid by a bookshelf. He had been so preoccupied hadn't even noticed her in the room. Scarlett smiled and slowly made her way over to Tom.
" What exactly is wrong," she said to him with an air of someone talking to a small child.
" No one believes me," Voldemort said morosely. Scarlett gave a tinkly laugh and walked over the mirror behind Mr. Riddle's chair to reapply her blood red lipstick.
" I hardly blame them" she replied
"See!" he whined
"Well I don't know what to tell you," Scarlett stepped back to the front of the chair and sat on the table. "You can stay away from everyone or act like nothing's wrong, neither would help but it's a start"
"I hate this"
"I would to"
"It's not fair"
"C'est le vie"
"Humph"
" Stop acting like a baby"
"Make me"
"Fine," Scarlett leaned down a swiftly but surely kissed Lord Voldemort on the lips. Then she stood up brushed off her dress and left Voldie to lick the lipstick off his mouth and think.
Kreacher was out by the lake muttering to himself quite dejectedly. As if it wasn't bad enough to deal with the brat when he was full grown, some filth creature had gone and brought him back form he dead and he was young again.
" They is dooming Kreacher to repeat his past. Oh, Kreacher has done nothing to them." On the bright side though She was here. The blood traitor's cousin. His true master. A twisted smile lit his face as a thought struck. Yes, she was young too, but perhaps with her he could get rid of the brat sooner. Feeling much happier, Kreacher set his mind back to the task. The Young Mistress had told him to find the prize for her, so he was looking. Kreacher reached the bank of the lake and an odd horse thing swam up to him. Its hair was made of plants.
" The prize you seek is only on the other side of the lake." The thing spoke with a total lack of accent, and had curiously sharp teeth. Kreacher, not trusting it, began to shuffle away.
" Now wouldn't it be faster to go across the lake. I could ride you there if you'd just climb on my back."
"Kreacher is fine." He kept walking but the creature kept pace with him.
"I insist"
Warily the house elf climbed on the things back. Halfway through the ride the horse dove down to the bottom of the lake taking Kreacher with it. Moments afterwards, what would later be identified as hose elf entrails floated to the surface. Inside the estate a line was drawn through the name of the now deceased house elf.
"Sirius what did you do to the dratted elf!?"
"Nothing, I have better things to do than eliminate pests, no matter how beneficial it is to the general public."
Dinner at Loch Kelspe Estate was once again a loud affair, but this time it had nothing to do with flying food. Today is was due to everyone arguing over the whereabouts of Kreacher.
" What makes you so sure that he was 'eliminated' as you so hem-hem eloquently put it."
" I know for a fact that Kreacher is dead." The one person who had remained silent throughout the brouhaha finally spoke. Taking a sip of brandy from his hip flask, he spoke again.
" Kreacher was by the lake apparently looking for something for something Miss Black requested of him-" all eyes turned to Bellatrix, who looked them right back. "When the kelpie lured him away from his task and ate him."
There was silence then,
" How do you know all of this?" It was James,
"Well… you see, I am the host after all I do have to know where my guests are and how they're doing." The colonel looked distinctly uncomfortable as he said this.
" If you're such an attentive host then why have 3 of your guests disappeared, been transfigured, or killed," sneered Draco.
" If you know where your guests are then why don't you tell us where Ginny is?" Voldemort inquired from his end of the table.
" And why are we here in the first place, so you can kill us all?" Lily said throwing down her silverware and standing up.
" Now surely you don't think I'm behind this all. I only-" the colonel tried to defend himself. But he was quickly drowned out.
" When do we leave?"
"How do we leave?"" Why haven't you done anything about Dumbledore and Ginny?"
The 7 remaining guest were on their feet shouting and bombarding the cowering colonel with questions. There was a rather loud pop behind them, like a series of balloons popping simultaneously. The angry mob turned around to see Mrs. White standing there with dessert on a tray.
"Sorry I'm late. I couldn't find the pie I had planned on serving."
" Mrs. White," Lily said as she was served. " Have you seen Miss Scarlett anywhere, I wanted to speak to her." Mrs. White froze for a moment, then regained her composure and said haughtily, "I haven't seen her though I don't know why you would want to speak to her of all people." No one noted their exchange as everyone was still discussing the state of things, but Colonel Mustard who was speaking to no one heard everything. And he was seeing a problem.