Standard boilerplate disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim. Jhonen Vasquez does. Use only as directed. Offer void where prohibited. Product may contain peanuts.
I don't expect to post any more stories until after New Years, so I wish you happy holidays. In case I don't have a new one up before then either, I also wish you comfort on January 17th.
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Can You Picture This?
Part Three: Sunday: Album
The following morning, Dib stepped out to the corner store to pick up that day's newspaper, in which his picture and story had undoubtedly been printed by now. He could have easily enough called up the e-newspaper and printed out the relevant page, but when you've done something really special and got your name in the paper, nothing matched the quaint old-fashioned ritual of cutting out a piece of hard copy with scissors.
Besides, Gaz preferred her crossword puzzle on paper, because that way if she got a word wrong and messed it all up she had something she could rip completely to shreds. She'd long ago made it perfectly clear that Dib's Sunday would be anything BUT a day of rest if that day's newspaper wasn't waiting on the table for her at whatever random hour she chose to come downstairs for breakfast.
No alien on the front page... Dib started looking through the paper even before he left the store. Walking back home, he could find nothing about Zim in the whole A section. Sitting on his front step before going back inside, Dib found nothing in Sections B or C, but on the last page of D, the Lifestyles Section...
"NOOOOO!" he screamed, causing neighbours's heads to turn as far away as halfway down the block.
"Take me to your leader," read the headline, printed over the blurriest of Dib's pictures.
"A space alien stopped at the newspaper office Friday afternoon to pick up our special anniversary edition. Stepping from his space ship, which resembled a giant pie pan, the alien proclaimed, 'One small step for an alien, one giant leap for alienkind!' The alien was also quoted as saying he needed the Hubble Telescope to better aim his disintegrator cannon at the earth before blowing it up because it obscures his view of Venus. Whether the alien came from Mars or Jupiter is unknown, but it is believed that next Halloween the alien will be going out as a little boy who never stops talking about aliens... and who wears a black trench coat."
This was how Dib's big scoop was looking to the whole town right now... buried on the final page of the fluffy Lifestyles section as a lame joke. How could that reporter, who had sounded so interested in what he was saying, turn around and knife him in the back like that?
For all his general knowledge of newspaper production, Dib didn't know much about editors.
Compulsive collector of all things paranormal though he was, Dib couldn't bring himself to save this one. He crumpled that entire section of the newspaper and threw it into his wastepaper basket, hoping Gaz wouldn't miss it and come charging into him to exact her wrathful vengeance. By now Dib was so thoroughly disgusted with the reactions he had collected, he dropped his camera into the basket as well.
Dib stayed home in his room all day, until finally, around suppertime, he decided to face down the stares of neighbours. As he could hardly delay that moment forever, he figured he might as well get it over with now. He would have to walk to skool tomorrow next to Gaz anyway. If anybody yelled at him about the alien picture in the paper when she was with him, Dib had no doubt that Gaz would fly into him and pound him as savagely as if he had gone through all that trouble and disappointment for no other reason than to deliberately embarrass her.
He got a broad range of reactions, from "Hey space boy!" and "When are they coming for you?" to "Hi Dib!" By that time he was convinced that sarcasm lurked beneath even the most innocent greeting.
Dib's footsteps automatically took him to Zim's base; nothing was going on in any of the windows. He began to edge onto the lawn but stepped back quickly enough when he activated the lawn gnomes. Frowning, Dib turned around scanning the entire horizon; that lousy alien was undoubtedly doing something nefarious even now, but Dib had no idea where to start looking.
Nobody believes me. A dangerous alien is right here in our midst, with I don't dare guess what to follow and... NOBODY BELIEVES ME. It's all up to me now. Me. But what can one kid possibly do against an invading armada?
If the invasion landed before the earth's defences could mobilize against it... Dib shuddered as he considered the apathy he had encountered so far. Against Zim alone, perhaps he actually could do something. So he had to make his move as soon as... as soon as he figured out what it would be.
Maybe I can kill him BEFORE he calls his whole swarm down on us all, or at least figure out how to jam his signal? One thing's for sure. I'm on my own.
After another long, frustrating day, Dib turned around to trudge back home. He would take out his telescope to fearfully watch the skies for the final invasion. If this wasn't to be the night after all, he could once again start watching Zim at skool tomorrow morning to gather more information.
With the moon low in the trees, Dib found his house shrouded in shadow with a weak light glimmering from inside the living room.
Still looking warily around at the sky, Dib slowly walked up to his front door. The moment he went inside he could tell something was different, even if he couldn't put his finger on what it was. Could these vibes could possibly be because a paranormal investigator had been sent out to question him after all? Or maybe Jerome had gotten someone at the Air Force base interested in following up on his tip? Dib ran to the living room.
At first Dib blinked, wondering if he was seeing double. Why did they all of a sudden need two Professor Membrane lamps? Then Dib finally realized that something so unusual had happened that he had to push his brain into describing what he was actually seeing.
Not only was Dib's father home, not only was he not in the basement... he was just sitting on the couch, with one button of his collar undone, and even more amazingly, he seemed to be just watching TV! Something was definitely weird here.
Was Gaz in hospital? Had his father been waiting for him so they could now go see her? Even a few days' respite from constantly looking over his shoulder every time he came home or ventured outside his room would be a most helpful break right now. As if the Professor could read his thoughts and get mad at him, Dib forced himself to stop hoping that Gaz would thus be out of his hair for at least a little while.
"Wh - Where's Gaz?" Dib asked.
"HERE! Where did you think I was, STUPID?" growled Gaz. Only then did Dib notice the pointed purple hair in the shadows on the other side of the Professor. She was sitting next to her father, playing away on her GameSlave just like always, an empty soda bottle resting next to her. Dib then began to distinguish the figure of Gaz shaking her head as she sucked in her breath in the most condescending manner imaginable. "You get DUMBER every single day, DIB."
"Did - did the lab burn down?" Dib asked this without the slightest trace of sarcasm; he simply could not think of any other possible explanation.
"Oh, ho ho ho!" The Professor found the idea most amusing. "No, no, just a poison gas leak, son, nothing to worry about. I sent everybody home until further notice and turned the ventilation system on full power before leaving. As I was not expecting to be home tonight, no experiments await me in the basement. And by the time I get one set up, it will be time to go to work again! So I am taking a..." the Professor announced, with a dramatic gesture, " ...vacation!"
"A vacation?" At one point that would have been an answer to Dib's prayers, but now, as much as he would dearly love to spend time with his father, he couldn't afford to take any time off himself. "Where are you, uh, we going?"
The Professor's finger swept toward their big screen TV. "We're going to watch... A Double Feature! And tomorrow morning you kids are going to skool and I'm going back to work."
Dib opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. By his workaholic father's standards, this was a week at Disneyland. He turned his attention to the TV. "What's on?"
"Well," said his father with a smile in his voice, "we watched Super Kicky Fighter for a while, and when that was over, Vampire Piggy Hunter came on! Now we're going to watch the Space Channel. The first movie is starting... Right Now!"
"What's it about?"
"Science fiction!" said his father, as if no other kind of movie could possibly be worth watching. "They're actually showing 'Plan Nine from Outer Space' after this one! I saw it with all my new buddies at the university cinema after my first semester's final exams, and I laughed so hard I fell out of my chair!"
"'Plan Nine from Outer Space,'" Dib repeated slowly, pondering how best to bring up the subject of his alien photos.
The Professor wanted to make sure Dib understood something."Son, you do realize this UFO stuff is all nonsense, that it couldn't possibly happen for real?"
Dib weighed the high chances of yet more frustration over his pictures against the rarity of an evening simply relaxing with his dad like any other kid... and quickly decided that the pictures could wait. He'd seen an alien the past two days in a row now, and all too soon everybody could be seeing many more. In fact, Dib reflected, this could well be the last peaceful evening the human race would ever know. If indeed it was, he felt a profound gratitude that against all odds, this was the way he'd be spending it!
"But before that," continued the Professor, "they're showing the movie that actually got me interested in science... 'Fantastic... '," He spread his arms to suggest a theater marquee. "'...Voyage'!"
"I never heard of that one. What happens in it, Dad?"
The Professor chuckled as he patted the remaining empty space on the couch. "Well, why don't you watch with us, son? It may be an oldie, but it's a goodie!"
Still not quite believing this was happening, Dib took his place on the couch next to his dad.
Gaz was finding it harder and harder to concentrate on her game now that Dib's squeaky babbling had joined her father's cheerful, sonorous voice, but she wasn't about to say, "Shut up, idiot, before I smack you senseless!" as long as her beloved father was talking too. So Gaz put her game on save and sat back to wait until that yappy useless Dib decided to go pollute the air elsewhere with his non-stop yammering.
At first she tried to pay attention to the movie, but as she had no way of blowing up anything on that screen, and as nothing was happening anyway, Gaz immediately found it BORING. She lay back and waited for Dib to go somewhere else.
While the content of her father's side of the conversation was impossible to follow, the sound of his voice was so irresistibly soothing that the combination quickly lulled Gaz to sleep. Soon she was leaning against her father's side, snoring softly.
The Professor, looking around as if to see where Gaz had gone, noticed the bowl of microwaved popcorn and large bottle of soda he had brought out earlier and forgotten. These now commanded the whole of his attention as he set the popcorn bowl on the couch between himself and Dib. Holding the handle of the mug as if it was a test tube, he poured precisely half the soda into the mug which he handed to his son, keeping the rest in the bottle for himself.
Gaz had enjoyed the boon of unexpected time spent alone with their father; now it was Dib's turn.
Dib assured his father that he would be right back, then raced to his room as if the Professor was going to disappear in the next ten seconds. From the wastepaper basket he snatched his camera (good thing the crumpled paper cushioned its fall!) and what remained of the roll of film he'd dropped in there last Friday.
Back in the living room, Dib slipped the film back in. Even if none of them would live long enough to see the developed photo, this was something that he had to do. Truly unbelievable moments called for cameras.
As Dib advanced the film just past the exposed section and set it up on the coffee table, the Professor said, "Wow! This must be retro night! First, classic movies, and now, an old-fashioned camera!"
Dib reclaimed his seat next to his father and stuffed his mouth with as much popcorn as it could hold until the self-timer went off. Chewing and swallowing the popcorn, Dib set the camera up again to take another picture, and sat for another, more formal, picture of himself with his father. The Professor was holding the back of each child when the camera flashed.
Since he already knew that most of the pictures on this roll were completely worthless, Dib decided that he would request that this roll be first only developed, and then he would order double prints of these last two. No, better make it triple sets of these last two. Not particularly enjoying Gaz's savage attacks, Dib didn't want to give her any excuse.
As the film finished rewinding, the Professor now leaned back and placed his feet on the coffee table. Dib did so as well, even if it meant perching on the edge of the couch with his head touching the backrest and his toes barely reaching the edge of the coffee table. His father pulled the coffee table closer so Dib could rest his heels on it. Now they were both comfortable.
Dib reached for more popcorn. The middle of the bowl was still warm and the salty butter was tasty indeed. He wallowed in contentment for a second, with an effort pushing his concerns to the back of his mind until tomorrow... that is, if there would still BE a tomorrow...
NO! Don't think about that. Enjoy now. It may be all you... STOP! Stop. Enjoy. Now.
As the opening title came up for "Fantastic Voyage" the Professor took a long swig from his soda and sighed. He had first seen this picture with his own father when he was the same age as Dib was now, before he had the slightest interest in girls, let alone met his wife. Now the only associations it held for him were nostalgia for a simpler time in his life from which he could remember no problems at all, and for a simpler place where any problems that did occur were solved in ninety minutes.
He turned to face Dib. "Did I ever tell you, son, that this is the movie that first got me interested in... Science? And let's not be too loud; we don't want to wake up your sister."
Dib didn't have to be told twice not to awaken Gaz. "Did it? No. No, you didn't, Dad," he said, barely above a whisper. "What did you like about it the most?" Dib set the bowl of popcorn on his lap and sidled closer to his father.
Having seen this movie several times, the Professor was only too happy to share his favorite parts with Dib, in hopes that such an amazing picture would have the same effect on his son as it had had on him.
Dib's father took a deep breath. "Oh, a whole lot of things, son! Now the first, and perhaps the most interesting of all was..."
As the moon rose free of the treetops, the house curled up under a cozy blanket of shadow, a flickering light playing in the living room.
The End
(A/N) I got the idea for this ending after exchanging a couple of emails with crazygirlperson, and while reading DibMagician's wonderful "Finding Happiness."