I CHOOSE YOU, ONLY YOU.
Chapter Six
Jacen brought me here. 'Family comes first' he told me. I'm actually happy he came with me to the Stone State in the Wolf Lands, I don't know why but lately I can't sleep if I'm not with him. Never thought I would get so used to his steady breathing against my neck. When he holds me at night I can find that peace of mind that only comes by knowing that as you sleep there is someone close by, so close that not even the worst of monsters or nightmares can reach you.
It's funny how we think we know things and we really don't. I thought I knew Jacen. I knew his reputation as a ruthless warrior- most men in the Wolf Lands army wouldn't like to face him in combat. I knew his reputation as a tough leader and as a good king. I never knew about the caring man Jacen is, never even guessed that his kisses would make my knees go weak. That I would tremble when he says my name. That I, who showed no weakness in the face of pain, danger or death, would melt like ice under the warm touch of his hands.
After I cried myself to sleep in his arms, Jacen made arraignments to bring me to my parents house the next day. I ran into my parents almost immediately after we arrived to the Stone State. I was half listening to my mother, half paying attention to what father and Jacen said. There where generations of hostility there, for as long as the Wolf Lands had been at war with the Black Woods, the Sharade and the Stone had been fighting and killing each other.
"Lord Stone." Jacen acknowledged my father using his serious voice, the one that he used when addressing his people at formal functions.
"Your Majesty" my father said, using his Warmaster voice.I felt Jacen tense.
"Jacen will do," he said, now sounding like the Jacen I know.
"Max," Father answered, that was an undeclared truce to an undeclared war. And then they shook hands, looking into each other's eyes.
Deciding Jacen and father weren't going to kill each other, I ran to Papa's bedroom. I found Marcus seated next to his bed, playing cards, just like the day I left this house.
"Darla!" I heard my brother say with surprise.
I kissed him quickly and went to hug my grandfather."I was afraid I might not see you again." I murmured, Papa was running his hands through my hair like he did when I was a little girl, saying he was sorry we had fought and that everything would be alright.
Father and Jacen came into the room next. Jacen sat back in a chair without moving or making a sound. But I knew he was there.When night fell, I told my parents I would stay with Papa overnight. Jacen asked me if I wanted to be alone, I asked him to stay. He nodded and sat at the sofa next to me, he remained silent after that, but I could feel him watching me, making sure I was ok.I was dozing in and out of sleep when I heard it…
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I woke up, Darla had fallen sleep sitting on the floor, her head on her father's bed, she wouldn't leave his side. I shook sleep out of my eyes and I went over her, scoop her in my arms and then placed her on the sofa next to the bed. I kissed her forehead and was surprised when I heard her whisper my name: "Jacen…" It was the softest of whispers. I was smiling.
"Do you love her?" I heard a strong male voice at my back. I turned to find Maurice Stone wide-awake, his dark eyes piercing into mine
"I do," I said simply, holding his gaze. "I love Darla."
"You're not a bad man, Jacen Sharade," He said leaning back into his pillows, "Other wise my Darla wouldn't have fallen in love with you –"
"I don't know if she…" I started but he cut me off.
"But I do. I know Darla's heart as well as my own. There is no disguise that can hide love when it's true. There is no disguise that can fake love when it isn't there, (1)" So that's where Darla got her cryptic style. Maurice took a deep breath. "In your hands, I leave my most beloved jewel. Take good care of my little girl." He spoke like a man who knew his time was ending.
"I will. You have my word on that."
"Good."
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My grandfather is gone, and with his death so raw inside, I can't stop thinking in this last thing I heard him say. Maurice Stone, that would as soon jumped off a cliff than trust a Sharade, trusted me to Jacen. He trusted Jacen when he said he loved me.
I was still going over this in my mind when I found Adam, he had heard of my grandfather's death and had come to pay his respects.
"I'm sorry," he said, hugging me.
And I knew that our friendship was back on track. We started to catch up on the last few months that we had been mad at each other.We had been talking for good fifteen minutes, cleverly avoiding Hector- our sore point – when Jacen came and gave me a cup and a plate with a donut.
"Eat."
"I'm not hungry," I said, looking at the tempting donut.
"You haven't eaten since yesterday afternoon, you need to eat something. I even asked your mother for the sugary donut you like, and I put massive amounts of sugar in the coffee, just like you like it. Now your mother thinks I'm a sugar addict like you." He was babbling, Adam eying him cautiously probably wasn't helping.
I smiled slightly, took a bite of my donut, letting the sugar cover my lips, then I kissed Jacen softly leaving most of the sugar on his lips."Don't do that," he hissed, blushing lightly. But I knew he only half meant it, and only said it because father and Adam were watching. Jacen stood there watching till I finished my donut, then walked away.
"Does he makes you happy?" Adam asked after Jacen left.
I stared after Jacen. "He does," I admitted smiling.
"Then I offer you an apology." Adam said seriously. "I should have trusted your judgment, I trusted you so many times with my life, yet I couldn't make myself trust that you would to the right thing for your own life."
"You had a point. When I married I didn't think Jacen would make me happy."
"Still, I let my loyalty to Hector come between our friendship. I always thought that you and Hector, if he could… he lov- Hector had an itch he was hoping you could scratch," Adam finished bluntly.
"Hector had a way of making things harder on himself," I said, shaking my head. "He could never overcome his rage over Conrad's death. And I didn't wanted to be haunted by death for the rest of my life."
"Still, I half expected you to run away with him when he asked you."
"I had already said that I would marry Jacen. And Hector needed to find himself."
"And you didn't?"
"Oh, I did. I did need to find myself. But I didn't wanted to run away to do it."
%
It was getting late, the house was full of people that had known and loved my grandfather. Suddenly I started to feel a bit tired, the tension over the trip and two bad nights of sleep had drained me. I started to seek out Jacen so we could go to bed, I didn't expected him to be tired like me – High stamina is one of the trade marks of the Bear kind. I found him in the back porch of the house.
"It is so different here than what I expected," he said without turning to see me when he heard the door close behind me. "Your family. I always thought Wolves were cold."
"You expected penguins, did you? Most people do." Jacen nodded. I wanted him to understand. "Have you noticed that I haven't cried since my grandfather died? And two days ago I was bawling just at the thought of the possibility." He nodded again. "Well, that's a very basic thing about Wolves. We don't cry over things that are final. We don't grieve people's deaths; we honor their lives by carrying on with our own. Sure I feel sad, but my grandfather had a good death."
"He did, he died at his house, in his bed, surrounded by everything and everyone he loved. That's a good death," Jacen said, his voice distant.
"That's right." I paused thinking what to say next. "When I was a soldier this place was what I thought about the most. Knowing I was keeping this place safe kept me sane, kept my heart from breaking each time I lost someone, kept me fighting even when I had no strength left. Our army never cared how many soldiers we lost at the battlefields as long as we kept your army away from home. Being loved gave us strength, loving gave us courage."
"And you never doubted? With the whole mess with King Wesley and your parents?"
"You mean if I ever doubted my parents love. And the answer is no. Through all the changes I've seen, I've always been sure of being Max Stone's daughter. He made the choice of loving me when Lady June dropped me at his doorstep. He didn't have to care, I wasn't his responsibility but dad swallowed his pride and gave me his name. Papa called me Darla– his beloved (2); and mom took me as I am. My family is this."
"You are lucky," Jacen said, and I knew he was thinking of his own parents. "Having such family. All I have is Jared and yo- " he cut himself and added as if hadn't been about to say I was his family "The only other people I can rely on are Sean and Eric." I walked over him and when I stood at his side. I let him pull me in a tight embrace. "You've got so many people, and you can be sure of their love."
I let my hands go around his waist and rested my head in his shoulder. Jacen buried his face in my hair, breathing deeply. "You are my family too," I surprised myself by saying, but I knew in my heart that it was true. Jacen sighed and held me as if he never wanted to let me go.
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Notes from the Author! (That is not studing for the test on friday)
(1) Is a quote from Francois de la Roche-Foucauld
(2) Darla means beloved.
Krissy is the best beta in the history of ever.
Thanks to everyone that reviewed.
Steph: Thanks!
Monalex Potter: Bueno si, Darla esta enamorada de Jacen y lo admitirá en el siguiente capitulo. Espera a que conozcas a Hector, Elena te parecerá agradable.
StarWolf 616: Or so I've been told. I know about Hawksong, haven't read it yet. There are previous notes about it.
Phillippa of the Phoenix: Thanks
Blahblahblah: Well I shouldn't update as much as I do, since that often gets between me and my school work and I end up pulling all-nighters. But thanks!
SukiYumi: Yeah, two months to go of Calculus. I work on nine coffees a day, otherwise I'm no good. Thanks for the review.
D.H. L'Orange: Thanks
Someone knows what's going on with the Quick edit? is always changint the format of the text.
Little tease from next chapter? (remember I might change it later)
"Like I'm going to believe you married him and not his crown." Hector yelled angrily.
I looked down to my hand and my wedding ring there. Suddenly this small thing meant so much to me. Once it had meant that I had bounded my life to a man I had learend to hate since birth. Now it meant Jacen and the love I knew he had for me. And there I had been the last 24 hrs of my life, not wanting to admit that I love him too. Suddenly, with Hector and I yelling at each other at my parent's back yard, everything made sense.
"I married his crown, that's true. I married to end a stupid war that took the life of so many people I loved." I said softly but surely, like when I gave orders in battle. "But when I fell in love, I fell in love with the man and only with him."
"I can't believe you love Jacen Sharade, Darla."
"Me neither. But I do." I admited, already thinking how was I going to tell Jacen what I felt for him.
And there is more! When I'm done with Hector you're going to believe Elena is a little cute kitten. But then again, just as Elena isn't bad, she just heartbroken; Hector isn't bad, he just hates to lose.
More to come!
Keep the reviews comming and I'll keep the chapters comming!
Love you all
Alex.