Note: You might not recognize the guy Heero has brought to Trowa's attention in the latter part of this chapter. Since it's been so long, you could always refer to Part 11 to refresh your memory. ^_~
Memento [Part Seventeen]
He shot them down one by one, once shiny teeth that seemed to have degenerated with age. The look on his victim's face remained the same although the mocking grin on its visage stayed in place. Its bright smile, accentuated by hideous make-up, excessive lipstick, and a huge nose seemed to ridicule him, but he ignored it. The process was strangely addicting. It made him feel powerful, contradictory to how he'd been feeling lately. The simple task made him feel like someone no less than a god.
"Uh, congratulations sir! Please take your pick from the last row."
Trowa turned indifferent eyes toward the fearful, plump man hovering next to him. The man was frightened but sent him a bright smile, rivaling the one on his target's face. He may have been in a detached mood but didn't fail to notice the false enthusiasm being sent his way.
"The duck will do fine," he said, pointing to the equally plump bird on the far end of the shelf labeled 'Win This!'.
Presented with a foot-tall baby duck, Trowa nodded in satisfaction. He pinched the beak of his newest possession, noting the way his fingers were embedded in the soft material. It almost made him smile.
"You're running us out of business, Trowa."
He didn't turn to face the owner of the voice but was courteous enough to answer.
"On the contrary, Cathy, I'm attracting paying customers," he said, indicating the group of onlookers who suddenly looked excited to try the shooting game he'd just left. "I've just made shooting teeth out of a cardboard clown look fun."
"True, but you've won all the prizes and there's nothing left for the customers," she pointed out and grabbed the bag full of stuffed animals from his hand. "I'll be returning these to where they belong," she added and then left without asking him if he wanted any of them. As far as he was concerned, it was fair trade. He executed the rigged, almost impossible amusement park games and received prizes in return. He almost sulked at the thought of giving them back.
Fortunately, his dear sister had forgotten to take the duck with her, causing Trowa to smirk in response to his modest victory. He held the toy tighter against him and surveyed his surroundings. In a little less than three hours, he had successfully completed every game that required precise aiming. In fact, he proudly noted that not one target had been missed. It was good to know that he didn't lose his touch years after he piloted his gundam.
"I didn't know you liked ducks," Catherine spoke from behind him. "Now that you look like you're in a better mood, why don't you tell me why you came all of a sudden?"
"You sound like I'm a bother," Trowa responded without facing her and examined his newest possession once again.
"Trowa, you know I don't mean it that way. It's just that Heero called me before you came and he sounded upset. That guy never sounds upset."
Trowa turned towards her, his good mood gone all of a sudden. It had been only a few hours since he left the Preventer headquarters and the mere thought of Heero still irked him. His friend's steel resolve coupled with his newfound baby-sitting instincts annoyed him. He'd be damned if he couldn't take care of himself.
"I assume he told you everything," Trowa said, his eyes seeming to burn through her. She looked unperturbed.
"He told me nothing," she answered, using the same method of curt responses he liked using on her. That annoyed him even more, but it wasn't enough of a cause to hate her. He could do nothing but sigh.
"We should discuss this elsewhere. I doubt Une would be happy if I divulged classified information in the open."
"The animal cages should be the perfect place," she suggested. "Those big babies miss you since you barely come to visit. But first, let me return that last piece I missed."
Trowa pulled his arms back and held on to his stuffed duck.
"Mine," was all he said before Catherine shrugged and let go of it.
When they reached the cages, the lions were the first to greet him, seemingly excited to see their old friend. The almost deafening roars could have scared anyone else but Trowa knew better. Their paws were outstretched as far as the cage allowed, beckoning him to come closer. He obliged them.
Always a man of few words, Trowa did not say anything but instead ran his fingers through the large beast's thick fur. Catherine could almost sense its satisfaction and mouthed an "I told you so" before sending him a nod of approval. Like beasts to their master, each and every lion made their way to Trowa's awaiting hand.
"There's two of him," Trowa started in a whisper.
"Two?" Catherine inquired.
"Quatre is both the engineer we've been watching over and the remains they found in L3," he said. "Although I'd like to think that he is still very much alive."
"Trowa, you just told me a few weeks ago that you've had this new Quatre checked and it isn't him at all," she said and looked at him with concern.
Trowa closed his eyes, continuing to run his fingers through the lion's mane. He was just as confused as she was. He did not want to explain the situation again, but there was much that she did not know.
"Heero said it was him," he said distastefully. It was obvious that he still disliked the idea of Heero knowing everything about his love. "Whatever Heero says about him is absolute. Even I can't match his accuracy when it comes to Quatre."
"Quatre loved you," Catherine responded in earnest and that statement made him look at her. He knew it was not an attempt on her part to make him feel better. It was the truth.
The statement required an equally heartfelt answer, but his still muddled mind could not come up with one. No words seemed appropriate for a testimonial that moving.
"I'm sure you knew that," she added as if reassuring him. She sat herself down on one of the low benches and looked anywhere but at him. "Won't you tell me what's going on now?" she asked.
He was thankful. The way she could understand his inconsistent change in moods was almost ridiculous. She knew how to question without leaving a subject alone. It was as if she could read his mind. It made him more comfortable and her, more credible in his eyes.
"The Preventer team handling the investigation confirmed the body several times over and there is no doubt that it's him," Trowa told her, his tone of voice changing to fit his serious mood. "Together with the body, they found recordings of me. Quatre was never part of the picture. If anything, they must have used him to get to me... and it worked. I've never felt this miserable in my entire life."
He blinked, trying to keep his emotions in check. If he bawled now, he wouldn't be able to relate the entire story. Something about weeping made him unable to speak clearly. He would rather not have choked on his words. He did not have the heart to tell Catherine about the gruesome details, but they were still fresh in his mind. He could not forget the lifeless semi-remains that still haunted him at night. At the same time, he kept on thinking about Quatre's ailing counterpart who he knew wouldn't last much longer.
"I'm sure it was never his intention to hurt you," Catherine reasoned for his absent husband. "If it was his intention then you know I'd be the first to scold him."
"I know," Trowa answered. "But I can't just watch the other him fall apart before my eyes either," he added.
Catherine looked at him, her question so evident in her face. Trowa did not need further prompting and continued with his narration.
"He isn't well," Trowa started, choosing his words so that they could both understand the situation. When he was first told about Quatre's condition, Wufei was on hand to explain the details he could not comprehend. Of course, these were ideas he never thought he would have to deal with. During times of war, one only had to know about treating open wounds and mental disturbances. His expertise was on fatal wounds, not on unfathomable diseases that took over the body in the course time.
"He's loosing his mind," he said.
"He's going crazy?" Catherine asked. "I don't understand."
"It's not that," Trowa explained and tried to remember what it was the condition was called. "Dementia... His brain cells are dying."
"Trowa, please elaborate. I don't mind waiting long if you have to be technical about it."
"Brain cells do not regenerate," he clarified. "Normal body cells are replaced with new ones when they die off. It's not the same with the brain. Apparently, once the cells in the brain are gone, they remain gone."
"It's hard to imagine how much effect that would have, but that still doesn't sound promising," Catherine said. "What kind of effect has it had on him?"
"He's been forgetting a lot of things. I've seen it happen gradually. He'd been drawing maps to get around places because he says he can't remember directions as clearly. I happened to enter his room once and found notes stuck to the drawers to indicate where his things were. He can't even recognize most faces or even objects sometimes. I thought it was strange but never suspected that it was a condition."
Trowa noticed that he was starting to squeeze his fisted hand. The situation angered him because he could do nothing about it and neither could his closest friends. He did not even have much time to digest the information before he left headquarters. Strange as it was, he could no longer stand the sight of his comrades. Catherine's face was a refreshing change.
"Are they giving him any medication?" Catherine inquired. What concern she had a few minutes ago had grown ten fold. Trowa realized just how much effect this new Quatre had on them. Catherine had never even seen him, but she was worried. He might as well have been the real thing.
"It's incurable," Trowa said and squeezed his eyes shut. He assumed that was how close others felt when they were loosing someone valuable. He understood then how Catherine must have felt when he was on the verge of self-destructing his gundam. Watching someone leave you was heart-breaking. Somehow, it hurt to watch Quatre lose the battle when he'd been strong enough to fight all others.
"How did he contract it? Isn't that supposed to be a disease of old age?"
"We don't know," Trowa answered, defeated and frustrated at the same time. "We had to find out through his supposed doctor; Marion I believe was his name. We couldn't get anything out of him."
"I don't know what to say," she said truthfully and Trowa nodded in understanding. It wouldn't do to make her as miserable as he was.
"What choices do I have left? It's either he's gone or he's going. There's no in between," Trowa whispered as if the question was meant only for him.
"What do your instincts tell you?" Catherine queried.
"I don't know," he said, choosing to sigh in defeat. "Isn't it strange that way? I should be the one to know. I should be able to tell, but I can't find traces of him anywhere. That's why I can't support Heero's claim, just trust that he knows."
"I thought that you would have taken my word for it."
Trowa tensed, placing his upturned palm against his weary eyes. He knew Heero would find him given his predictability as of late. He did not want to turn his face toward the intruder because doing so would make him all the more infuriated than he already was.
"Didn't I tell you to leave me alone?" Trowa asked aloud, aware that Catherine was worried about them. After all, disputes between them were rare. They were both collected, both stoics to a fault.
"Not until we resolve our little dilemma."
"This dilemma is anything but little Heero. You should know that," Trowa answered, irritation evident in his voice.
"I'm talking about the dilemma between us," Heero said steadily, again the voice of calm whenever Trowa felt like screaming. "The others are right. We won't get any further unless we resolve our issues."
Catherine seemed to sense their need for privacy and graciously stood up to take her leave.
"I'm sorry Catherine," Trowa said, keeping his eyes trained on Heero. "I promise that I'll visit again so we could have a longer conversation next time."
"Please forgive my intrusion," Heero added, leveling his gaze at Trowa. It was obvious that he was not going to back down despite his apology. "But we must resolve the matter between us quickly."
Trowa did not wait for her to leave before he started. In fact, he was so engrossed in antagonizing Heero that he did not notice when she left them alone.
"Why must we do this again?" he half-screamed. Trying to keep himself in check was taking its toll on him. He never imagined it would be so difficult, the control so precariously unbalanced when it came to matters of the heart. He reluctantly admitted that fragments of jealousy had been the cause of his anger. He realized that the feeling did not only become apparent now, but had been building up and stewing for years. Now was a good time as any to simply let out what he'd been ignoring for so long.
"There was something between us," Heero interjected before he could speak further. "He could always tell what I felt just as much as I could tell how he felt. Perhaps that was the reason why I fell in love with Quatre. Interpret that whichever way you want."
Steel resolve - it was what everyone had known Heero for. For once, Trowa wished that his comrade would be the one to break down, be the one to falter with his words. He wished Heero hadn't been so blunt, so honest about such a sensitive subject. It made him feel like the lesser being, one who did not have to guts to admit that the revelation hurt him.
Trowa closed his eyes and then shook his head. He knew he should have seen red at the honest admission, but it didn't affect him the way he thought it would. Instead, he felt a newfound respect for Heero for having the nerve and the outright insanity to admit it to him when he was very close to punching his lights out. He couldn't stop himself, so he laughed. It was more harried amusement than bitter resentment that bubbled from his lips.
"All this time I tried not to be paranoid," he said. "All this time and I simply denied what I knew was the case and here you are saying it straight out without even flinching."
Heero stayed silent, unyielding as always. It irritated Trowa. It was near impossible to get a more substantial reaction out of his comrade.
"That was why you covered for him all this time," Trowa continued. "You did just what he requested of you. Would I have done the same?" He let the last question linger as if his former anger directed towards Heero had turned into self-doubt over his failures.
"I wouldn't have, would I?" he asked again. "Does that mean that I love him less?"
"Oh, for the love of..." Heero muttered while hitting the cages he was closest to. The once purring lions were disturbed and reached out the fence to attack the person who had dared disturb their peace. "We're not the same Trowa," he said with a mixture of impatience and tolerance in his voice. "Otherwise, he would never have fallen for you the way he did."
"Heero," Trowa warned. "None of this is making me feel any better. You've completely defeated the purpose of resolving our little issue."
As if emulating what their master felt, the lions began to roar, causing Heero to back up half a step.
"Really Trowa," Heero said while his lips turned up to form a smirk. "The point was to get you to stop wondering about my malicious intentions now wasn't it?"
"Honestly, you being honest with your emotions get on my nerves. It also has the infuriating effect of making me feel like a complete jerk."
"And here I thought we agreed that Duo's exuberant reaction to mundane events annoyed you the most."
"Heero, must you piss me off continually?" Trowa replied, his mood strangely beginning to pick up. "Because I can assure you that you will regret antagonizing me any further." Though he had to admit, knowing that bit of information about Heero helped. Knowing that they no longer had anything to hide from each other was liberating.
"Now that you're in a better mood," Heero said casually like nothing had happened between them. He was obviously an expert in perusing his temper. "I bring you a present."
Trowa breathed out in exasperation. There was no use feigning anger when Heero already knew that he no longer felt that way. Really, sometimes he thought that he was far too easy to pacify, just like the lions who sat silent when they knew their master had calmed down.
"It better be good," Trowa said, leaning his back against the steel bars behind him. The stuffed duck was still held delicately against one arm despite his earlier loss of temper.
"You'll be delighted," Heero promised him, holding a hand up when Trowa started following him. "Stay here," he said and disappeared into a nearby tent. When he returned, he had a very bound, very gagged man in his hands.
"Heero, I highly doubt that you've decided to offer me human sacrifices," he said dryly, eyeing the poor man his comrade shoved before him.
"He found me while looking around for you," Heero said, explaining the importance of his supposed present. "I was holding a newspaper with a very big image of Quatre up front and this guy claims that he knows him."
"Everybody knows him Heero," Trowa said the obvious, apparently not amused one bit by Heero's explanation.
"Don't tell me you don't recognize this guy," Heero replied, raising an eyebrow while pointing at the man on the ground. There was something about that action that made Trowa think. As far as he knew, the guy did not register anything with him.
Before he could examine any further, Heero removed the man's gag. Their prisoner then began to protest loudly about kidnapping, criminals, and young men joining the Preventer organization to take advantage of their authority. Trowa's brows knitted in confusion.
"How does he know we're Preventers?" he asked Heero, pinning him with a scrutinizing stare. Neither of them was wearing their uniforms and only those who knew them personally should have been able to tell.
"Crap Master 2000," was Heero's only reply.
That was when Trowa stepped back and looked at the sputtering man before him more critically than he had the first time. It wasn't often that his ability to identify was this flawed. He should have guessed the identity of the man even before Heero gave away any hints.
"It's Plow Master 500X!" the man protested indignantly. "Young folks these days don't even appreciate agricultural geniuses," he muttered.
"Remember the mobile suit with the fertilizer in the rear and the seeding hose in the front?" Heero elaborated, seeming to hold himself back from laughing. Trowa nodded, finally remembering why they had dubbed it 'Crap Master' in the first place. Duo's condom comment was not far from his mind. The incident almost made Trowa smile except that he had yet to find out what connection the man had to Quatre.
"Kindly tell my comrade how you know the man in the newspaper," Heero suggested, nudging the man lightly with his foot.
"Fine! He was a student of mine," the man answered, trying his best to loosen the binds Heero had tied. Unfortunately, Heero was very skilled at knotting.
"Student?" Trowa questioned, choosing to crouch down to stare at the man. He was a very good judge of character and could very accurately tell if someone was lying just by looking at their eyes.
"How else do you think he would have gotten his degree in that short amount of time? He turned out to be a great engineer I assume."
Trowa was about to question further when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He was curious but held back when he saw Heero staring down at him. Perhaps the circus wasn't the most conducive environment for interrogation. Besides, Wufei, their master interrogator, was nowhere in sight. Trowa nodded, standing up so that Heero would take care of the man.
"Why Trowa, aren't you going to kiss me for providing you with a very critical puzzle piece?" Heero mocked as he hauled the man up.
Trowa smirked, unable to hold in his amusement at Heero's unpredictable streak that day. His friend, he assumed, had probably had a very pleasurable and fulfilling talk with a 'princess' earlier that morning. Why else would he have been holding a newspaper? Only Relena had the audacity to shove such materials into Heero's hand without getting into trouble. Heero, after all, hated reading contrived summaries of the day's events as much as he did.
"How's Relena?" he decided to ask as he watched Heero dial a number into his cell phone.
"She reprimanded me for keeping valuable information from her although I don't know why. She's been handling the Quatre rumors quite gracefully without any concrete information from us."
"It seems that cruelty becomes you," Trowa said, looking down at the helpless man before him who was once again bound and gagged. "But you're still spineless enough not to ask her out."
"Watch it," Heero warned before speaking into his phone. Trowa watched him patiently as he sent orders to Wufei and scolded Duo for interrupting the conversation. It was a few minutes later when he ended the call and looked back at Trowa.
"Tell anybody about it and I'll tell everyone that the reason why you're clinging to that stuffed duck is because that's exactly the way Quatre looks like first thing in the morning."
Trowa looked at the aforementioned toy, noticing the big blue eyes plastered on it along with the funny and almost awkward way the yellow fur material jutted up from its head. He pinched the beak once again and promptly decided to shut up.