Lorna was a little off schedule the next morning. Usually she'd get down to
the dining hall for breakfast before everyone else, get some food and get
out of being alone amongst people, for that was the worst part of
loneliness. Arriving down there, being in line, a few stares and fixated
eyes directed to hurt. She thought it would horrible, but being invisible
was convenient. No one to talk to or social duties, just a lacking that had
beaten her down, and now she lay in the middle of emotions.
Sitting at a table not near anyone, she ate cereal and flipped through a magazine, this very well could be the day she stopped trying. Not a damn effort, not one all day, to talk to someone or anyone, she thought. Before she even noticed, Bobby pulled up a chair next to her, having nothing but his few books he leaned over to talk to her. She looked up in mild surprise.
"When'd you get back?" he asked, pleased to find her here.
"Uh, yesterday." She said plainly, chewing her cereal. Holding back thoughts of how messed up yesterday really was, in fact, that entire weekend. "Really? I didn't see you, Rogue said you didn't get back to the dorm till like 10." Lorna began to notice his interest in her life, but didn't read too much into it.
"Yea, I got in a little late." Vague she was, not wanting to talk about Tabs. She starred down immensely at her bowl and stirred it with a spoon in clear dismissal of that topic.
Out of the corner of her eye, Bobby gave her a look.
"I.." she began, and looked up with a hesitant inhale and exhale, "was in the garden. I just wanted to be away." She looked away.
"Away? You just left for the weekend?" he chuckled a bit, not understanding, but Bobby rarely does.
"It wasn't like it always is. Sometimes it's lonely and sometimes its free, and then the rest it's like a party." She winced a smile, opening up for his better understanding.
"Yo Popsicle!! C'mon!" a crew of his friends called him from the other side of the dining hall. Lorna saw them out of the corner of her eye. Jubilee was cracking Rogue up, and Kitty and Rahne were there, all four in a little social huddle next to the boys. It was the girls who hated her the most (minus Rogue), but they were so immature (minus Rogue again) that she didn't care to waste time with them. And others like Sarah, who had extreme skeletal growth issues and had outcasted her own self even hated her, for nothing. Guys tended to ignore Lorna and if attention were paid they would pay for it with a verbal lashing, usually from Kitty or Rahne. Lorna wasn't afraid of shits' like them, and she began to see the envy, but it didn't change the fact that she felt lonely. But now, she wasn't going to try. She would carry on, and find away. But had doubts, but this was Lorna and insecurities didn't consume her like they did her peers.
Bobby gave her a sympathetic smile, looked in his friends' direction, turned back to Lorna and brushed his hand over hers. He got up and went to them. Lorna had watched his eyes the whole time, and thought was brewing in her mind. Why did look at them and back to her? Like he was checking for something. Perhaps checking to see if someone wasn't looking. Whatever, she thought. And for once when Bobby went away from her, she didn't feel so sad or alone. When he came to sit by her, when he was sitting with her, and when he was leaving and gone was one in the same feeling.
* * *
A Danger Room run-down time it was for Lorna. Which was good, because she had a lot to vent out, and it was something she felt she surpassed those her age in, power and control. Even when the odds are against her, she doesn't get distracted and dodges her way out. This week the group was: Lorna (duh), Alex (Havok), Bobby (Iceman), Jubilee, Rahne (Wolfsbane), and Sam (Cannonball). And this week's instructor was the rather temper mental Logan (Wolverine). Lined up they were, in the prep room, awaiting instruction, all the students talked except for Lorna, she starred at ground while there words became fainter and fainter. Bobby who was few students down from Lorna, stepped out of line and leaned down a bit to look at her. Intent with staring Lorna's eyes looked up and met his. No expression was on her face, just an icy stare and Bobby's face held question to that.
"Back in line, kid." Logan snarled as he entered the training facility, late again.
Bobby returned to his place in line. Lorna was starring at the ground again. Not paying attention to Logan's instructions, for they couldn't be any different then ones of previous weeks. Bobby would glance over from time to time, biting his lip with concern for her.
"Partners. Havok and Wolfsbane; Jubilee and Iceman; Polaris and Cannonball." Logan spoke, this time Lorna was listening, and wasn't looking forward to what shit she'd be paired up with again. She hoped for Bobby, but hopes didn't go very far with her. Then she noticed Logan called her by 'Polaris'. She felt comforted by that, it was nickname back home where she felt she belonged. 'Polaris, the guiding star'
Into a small hallway, she trailed behind the other students, who were souped to use their powers. 'Feeling like they have some importance in life' Lorna's thoughts mocked their socialization and excitement. Being the last to exit the hall into the actual battle room. Logan pressed the button harshly for it wouldn't close the metal door. Logan gave her look for assistance and as she closed her hand so the door did follow. The students quieted in watching that. Only Bobby smiled and Logan proceeded to a control panel.
Sitting at a table not near anyone, she ate cereal and flipped through a magazine, this very well could be the day she stopped trying. Not a damn effort, not one all day, to talk to someone or anyone, she thought. Before she even noticed, Bobby pulled up a chair next to her, having nothing but his few books he leaned over to talk to her. She looked up in mild surprise.
"When'd you get back?" he asked, pleased to find her here.
"Uh, yesterday." She said plainly, chewing her cereal. Holding back thoughts of how messed up yesterday really was, in fact, that entire weekend. "Really? I didn't see you, Rogue said you didn't get back to the dorm till like 10." Lorna began to notice his interest in her life, but didn't read too much into it.
"Yea, I got in a little late." Vague she was, not wanting to talk about Tabs. She starred down immensely at her bowl and stirred it with a spoon in clear dismissal of that topic.
Out of the corner of her eye, Bobby gave her a look.
"I.." she began, and looked up with a hesitant inhale and exhale, "was in the garden. I just wanted to be away." She looked away.
"Away? You just left for the weekend?" he chuckled a bit, not understanding, but Bobby rarely does.
"It wasn't like it always is. Sometimes it's lonely and sometimes its free, and then the rest it's like a party." She winced a smile, opening up for his better understanding.
"Yo Popsicle!! C'mon!" a crew of his friends called him from the other side of the dining hall. Lorna saw them out of the corner of her eye. Jubilee was cracking Rogue up, and Kitty and Rahne were there, all four in a little social huddle next to the boys. It was the girls who hated her the most (minus Rogue), but they were so immature (minus Rogue again) that she didn't care to waste time with them. And others like Sarah, who had extreme skeletal growth issues and had outcasted her own self even hated her, for nothing. Guys tended to ignore Lorna and if attention were paid they would pay for it with a verbal lashing, usually from Kitty or Rahne. Lorna wasn't afraid of shits' like them, and she began to see the envy, but it didn't change the fact that she felt lonely. But now, she wasn't going to try. She would carry on, and find away. But had doubts, but this was Lorna and insecurities didn't consume her like they did her peers.
Bobby gave her a sympathetic smile, looked in his friends' direction, turned back to Lorna and brushed his hand over hers. He got up and went to them. Lorna had watched his eyes the whole time, and thought was brewing in her mind. Why did look at them and back to her? Like he was checking for something. Perhaps checking to see if someone wasn't looking. Whatever, she thought. And for once when Bobby went away from her, she didn't feel so sad or alone. When he came to sit by her, when he was sitting with her, and when he was leaving and gone was one in the same feeling.
* * *
A Danger Room run-down time it was for Lorna. Which was good, because she had a lot to vent out, and it was something she felt she surpassed those her age in, power and control. Even when the odds are against her, she doesn't get distracted and dodges her way out. This week the group was: Lorna (duh), Alex (Havok), Bobby (Iceman), Jubilee, Rahne (Wolfsbane), and Sam (Cannonball). And this week's instructor was the rather temper mental Logan (Wolverine). Lined up they were, in the prep room, awaiting instruction, all the students talked except for Lorna, she starred at ground while there words became fainter and fainter. Bobby who was few students down from Lorna, stepped out of line and leaned down a bit to look at her. Intent with staring Lorna's eyes looked up and met his. No expression was on her face, just an icy stare and Bobby's face held question to that.
"Back in line, kid." Logan snarled as he entered the training facility, late again.
Bobby returned to his place in line. Lorna was starring at the ground again. Not paying attention to Logan's instructions, for they couldn't be any different then ones of previous weeks. Bobby would glance over from time to time, biting his lip with concern for her.
"Partners. Havok and Wolfsbane; Jubilee and Iceman; Polaris and Cannonball." Logan spoke, this time Lorna was listening, and wasn't looking forward to what shit she'd be paired up with again. She hoped for Bobby, but hopes didn't go very far with her. Then she noticed Logan called her by 'Polaris'. She felt comforted by that, it was nickname back home where she felt she belonged. 'Polaris, the guiding star'
Into a small hallway, she trailed behind the other students, who were souped to use their powers. 'Feeling like they have some importance in life' Lorna's thoughts mocked their socialization and excitement. Being the last to exit the hall into the actual battle room. Logan pressed the button harshly for it wouldn't close the metal door. Logan gave her look for assistance and as she closed her hand so the door did follow. The students quieted in watching that. Only Bobby smiled and Logan proceeded to a control panel.