Memento [Part Eighteen]

He could hear himself breathe in and out. The sound of it was rhythmic and it soothed him. It pleased him how much the near silence was comforting when all he had to deal with the past week were amalgamations of bad news and misunderstandings.

"Quatre..." he whispered into the stale air of his room.

His bed was cold and empty but soft enough that it molded itself around his aching back. That bit of comfort alone encouraged him to burrow himself further into the pillows.

"It's not worth it," he scolded his non-existent lover. "...not for you or for me."

He sighed, reaching his hand up to his neck to undo the perfectly knotted tie that remained there. His shoes and jacket had long since landed somewhere between the kitchen and the living room. He was still fully dressed, lying boneless on the mattress with his socked feet hanging from the end of the bed.

"But you always were right," he continued. "I should trust that you knew what you were doing."

Undoing his belt buckle and pulling it out, Trowa stared blankly at the ceiling. The small amount of light coming in through the windows made strange shadows that looked like distorted objects. It seemed insignificant but essential all the same, just like the little details in his situation he never took notice of.

"I'm supposed to trust that you knew what you were doing. We all have to trust you on it, but that doesn't make it any easier. I still miss you."

Silence answered him though it didn't bother him too much. It was what he had come to expect. Slowly, he undressed himself, throwing his clothing over the bed and not caring where they landed. He didn't have the will or the energy to stand up so he remained half-naked on his cold bed.

"I can't go on like this," he continued, aware that his self monologue was disturbing. However, it helped him sort out his emotions. "I want to figure it out, but I'm too tired to think. Will you help me, love? Will you help me fall asleep?"

Knowing that no answer would come to him, he turned over and lay on his stomach before burying his face in a pillow. At least he could breathe in a barely there scent that would help him fall asleep. He groaned in satisfaction.

Just as his senses detached themselves from the conscious world, Trowa's eyes shot open from the loud and shrill ring of his vid-phone. He groaned and then buried his face deeper into the pillows. He could barely undress himself, he noted, and it was obvious enough that he wouldn't have the strength or the patience to take the call. Whoever it was had better call him back in the morning.

"Leave a message." His own brusque voice came from the answering machine. After a long, annoying beep, sounds of deep breathing began.

"Uh," the whispered voice coming from the machine said. "Are... are you... there?"

Trowa's eyes shot open as soon as he recognized the voice. Despite the protests of his body, he discovered a surge of energy that lifted him off the bed to take the call. It was a few seconds before he could adjust his sleepy eyes to the light to see who was on the other end of the vid-phone.

"Quatre?" he asked in surprise.

The other man was looking down at his knees, which were pulled up to his chest. From what Trowa could gather, he was huddling in a dark room somewhere because only his pale face and thin wrists were visible.

"Uh huh," Quatre said without looking up. His face was glowing in the reflected light coming from the phone.

"Is there any reason why you called me?" Trowa questioned. As rude as it sounded, it was the only way to find out. He was surprised Quatre would call him, of all people. He didn't even recognize Trowa during their last encounter. Come to think of it, Trowa did not remember giving him his number.

When Trowa heard no answer, he tried a different approach. It had been a few weeks since the others had brought him to the hospital. He doubted that Quatre would have been released that quickly, considering his condition when they had last seen each other.

"Where are you?" Trowa asked again. He waited patiently for the answer just in case Quatre wanted to tell him. At the same time, he observed the man at the other end of the line and was barely able to stop himself from tracing the outline of his form on the screen. He was enigmatic no matter who, where, or how he was. He was hypnotizing all the same.

Quatre finally looked up at the screen and Trowa couldn't help but notice his sunken eyes and parched lips slowly opening to say something.

"I'm sorry," was all Quatre said.

Trowa stayed silent and observed the man before his eyes. It seemed as if his love was trying to get through to him, as if he had heard Trowa's earlier monologue. It was eerie but explicable. Quatre had seemed sorry for many different things lately.

"I..."

Trowa blinked in surprise when he was cut-short. The screen became blurry before he noticed someone pull Quatre out. He appeared to have positioned himself under a bed somewhere. He sounded frantic as a large pair of arms held him down.

"The doctor would be disappointed if you weren't resting. Please try to get some sleep sir," he heard in the background. Quatre was still at the hospital as expected. He seemed to be uncooperative. Trowa heard screams of protest and a lot of struggling.

It was not long after when a different face came into view. Trowa directed his narrowed eyes at the stranger.

"I'm sorry he disturbed you sir," a kind looking nurse greeted him.

"He did no such thing," Trowa responded, wishing that he had a tracking device next to him. In any case, he wanted to find out where they were. "Who are you and where are you located?" he asked before the phone went dead.

Trowa cursed a few times, paced his room and ended up kicking the side of his bed in frustration. He wasn't going to get any decent sleep that night.

Three hours later, despite the protests of the hospital personnel who insisted that visiting hours were over, Trowa was in the waiting room with his friends in tow. Duo and Wufei were still in their pajamas while Heero was in his boxers, holding a jacket over himself. It was evident that they had been sleeping soundly not too long ago. Wufei couldn't even stop from yawning.

"What's taking them?" Trowa asked in the silence. Although his companions were too sleepy to complain, he was irritated enough that he was wide awake. He walked back and forth while scratching the back of his head.

"Dunno," Duo's lethargic voice supplied.

Trowa was growing impatient. It was not too long ago when they arrived at the hospital, but for him, the wait was long enough. It felt like there was a conspiracy was going on around him and he hated how much it made him paranoid. Whoever was in charge certainly did not want him to get any rest.

"We have a phone call for a Mr. Barton."

Trowa stopped, looking up at whoever had interrupted his thoughts. There was no point in refusing the call so he nodded and obediently followed the person out the door. When he reached the receiver, Une's serious expression immediately came into view.

"Zero-three, new mission orders."

He wanted to groan or tell her to leave it off for the next day, but suggestions in themselves were unacceptable. Une looked serious and he knew better than to defy her orders when she was in one of those moods.

"News has reached me that you're already in the intended destination. You might as well take blood samples while you're there. Equipment has already been sent to your location."

"Blood samples from Quatre?" he asked, running a hand through his bang. His hair landed in one big clump as he looked down. The job was easy enough, but the fact of the matter remained. It was still three am. He was not coherent enough to even hold the conversation. "What happened with the first test we had run on him? Were they not sufficient?"

"Zero-one has made his claim of this Quatre's identity," Une responded. "And I managed to retrieve a hair sample from him the first time he had been brought to my office. The results of my test say it is him, but a strand of hair is not enough to prove anything. We need to reconcile the opposing results. If we find any inconsistencies, it would be easy to presume that there had been some kind of foul play involved."

Trowa nodded in understanding.

"Inconsistencies in the tests would connect this case to the case of the recovered body," he concluded.

"That is correct, zero-three. I am pleased to know that your brain is functioning despite the hour of day."

Trowa made no move to respond. He was interrupted from his musings when someone handed him the promised equipment. He acknowledged the person who had brought in the items he would need. He was pleased that they worked fast. The sooner he got to see Quatre, the better.

"I don't want him in here. Take him out," Trowa said. He didn't look up at the screen to notice Une's reaction but instead surveyed the equipment before him. The tone of his voice said that he wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"I have already arranged for it," Une replied. "He is to be taken to our facilities, but not before I get those blood samples. They will be taken to our lab in the south as soon as you have them ready."

"Don't we have the proper equipment to test it at headquarters?" he inquired, looking up to meet her gaze.

"No. It will take time just like the hair sample took time."

Trowa nodded, finally understanding her urgency. A mission was a mission even when he needed to get some shut eye. It would have to wait until later.

===

What seemed like a simple mission was turning into a nightmare. Trowa was appalled by the way his comrades acted. Wufei was sitting on the floor nursing a bruised chin while Duo was wailing like a little child.

"He hit me Trowa!" Duo kept on screaming. Disbelief was written all over his face. "I'm not going in there. If he could knock the great Heero Yuy out then what are the chances of me making it out alive?"

It was not going well at all. Trowa gently nudged the unconscious form on the floor. Indeed, the great Heero Yuy was out cold, caused by the hands of the supposedly ill and frail man. Quatre had done it so fast he didn't even notice the attack until Heero's head hit the floor. They'd had to scramble to drag their fallen comrade from harm's way.

All four of them were outside Quatre's seemingly harmless door. Although it looked peaceful outside, the inside said otherwise. The last time he peeked in, he spotted Quatre seated on the bed with a curtain rod in hand. It was not doubt that the hard metal was the same rod that had taken Heero down. That alone wouldn't have been so bad, but the fact that it was coupled with a wild look in Quatre's eyes made the situation worse than it already was.

"He was calm when he called me," Trowa assured the remaining two. They didn't look like they believed a word he said.

"He hit me with a urinal... a metal urinal," Wufei elaborated on Duo's point and then said no more.

"We need to get in there," Trowa said, taking the lead. Otherwise, they would never have finished. "We're not leaving until we get those blood samples and certainly not until we transfer him to our facilities."

Duo nodded and Wufei acknowledged him. Still, they knew that Quatre's erratic behavior was going to be a problem. Feeble as he was, both the doors and windows were not an option, especially without the proper equipment for infiltration. It was a shame they were doing it during such an ungodly hour. None of them could think straight. Trowa had to admit that he was tired as well, both in mind and in body.

"If Duo and I can get you in, can you handle the rest?" Wufei suddenly interrupted his thoughts. He seemed to be contemplating their next move as he sat against the wall massaging his head. Trowa had no doubt that he was getting a bad headache just thinking about it.

"I'm not sure," Trowa answered truthfully. He doubted that Quatre would trust him easily when his memories were muddled enough as it was. One moment, Quatre would confide in him and the next moment, he cringed away from him like a stranger. It confused him and it hurt every time.

"The mind may forget but the body may not," Wufei said, his head still downcast but his words always full of wisdom. They were very important words from a very irritated man. Therefore, Trowa thought it necessary to put them to good use.

"I will trust you on that statement," he said and then sat down next to Wufei so that they were lined up against the wall. The unconscious Heero was next to the door with Duo holding an ice pack over his injured head. Heero looked unusually peaceful as his head was rested on Duo's lap. From afar, they looked like injured and defeated soldiers in a war zone.

"I've got an idea Wu," Duo said while trying to steady Heero's head so that it didn't fall over. "But Trowa's going to have to come in through the vents."

Wufei nodded. "That's about as far as we can get him," he agreed.

"Then we need the blueprints of the building."

===

He was always used to wide open spaces and although he was known for being adaptable to any situation, Trowa still groaned as he crawled through the dark and dusty vents of the hospital building. He was fortunate enough to fit into the too-tight space but still had to face an unpleasant travel toward his intended destination. If not for Quatre's sake, he would have already borne a hole through the thin aluminum containing him.

"Turn left on the next fork," Wufei's voice resounded from his earpiece. At least Une had the foresight to send the minimal equipment necessary.

"Got that," Trowa answered, choosing to be less formal in this situation. After all, it felt like an informal mission. He was dressed haphazardly and his pants were threatening to fall off his hips without his belt on. If they moved any further, they were going to come off completely and he had no way of putting them back up.

"...a bad situation getting worse," he muttered.

"What was that Tro?"

"Nothing Duo," he answered and continued on as he was directed.

What seemed like hours later, Trowa successfully made it directly above the vent of Quatre's room and frowned through the slits separating him from the other. The real Quatre or not, this guy knew what he was doing. From where he was positioned, it was obvious that the man had specifically positioned himself where he was the least vulnerable. He could maneuver himself any which way if the enemy came anywhere within two feet of him. In addition, the rod he was holding, although light, was dangerous enough if it hit the right part of the body. It also served to cover the two feet distance of vulnerability.

"Why do you have to be so difficult at a time like this?" Trowa silently complained.

"Don't tell me he's got everything figured out in there," Wufei growled.

"Practically everything," Trowa whispered into his mouthpiece.

"Damn, I never imagined he'd use that whole strategizing thing on us." Duo's voice came in through his earpiece. "You're directly under his bed, aren't you?"

"Yeah," Trowa answered. "But there's no way I'm jumping down. He'll skewer me with that rod before I make it all the way down."

Silence answered him as he considered his next move. Suddenly, Quatre's hold on the rod faltered as if he was slowly loosing consciousness. Trowa's eyebrow raised and a curious look of discovery took over his face.

"He won't be able to keep this up for too long," Trowa whispered to his comrades. "I just have to be quiet to make it behind him. From there I think I'll be able to restrain him."

"We'll be leaving it up to you then," Wufei said his affirmative.

With as much care as he could, Trowa oiled the screws of the vent and slowly took them out one by one. He crossed his fingers as he held the discarded door of the vent with one hand and held on for balance with his other hand. He waited a few minutes until Quatre's arm faltered again and then crossed his fingers as he jumped down, thankfully landing right behind Quatre.

"Gotcha," he whispered into Quatre's right ear before enfolding his arms completely around the other's body.

Quatre's response was to struggle against him and scream. He didn't scream for help nor did he ask for freedom. Instead, he bellowed garbled sounds that made no sense. It made Trowa wish he'd brought earplugs. If he continued long enough, Trowa was sure that he'd have to let go sooner or later.

"Should we come in? Are you still alive?" Duo frantically screamed from the other side of the door.

"Yes I am and no don't come in," Trowa commanded although it felt like he was loosing the battle. He had to get Quatre to calm down in order to take the blood samples and since tranquilizers were not an option, he had to think of something else. He did want his comrades' help but did not want to startle Quatre any further.

Recalling Wufei's earlier words, he closed his eyes in silent prayer to anyone listening in hopes that his plan would work. He left one arm wrapped around Quatre's thin body and used the other hand to cover Quatre's eyes. His captive stiffened before struggling again.

"I used to do this to my husband," Trowa whispered, ignoring Quatre's screams and useless struggles. "Sometimes, when he comes home at night, he can't relax because he bears the weight of the world on his shoulders. He never said so, but I know. He handled too many responsibilities and it was never fair."

Quatre whimpered but continued to struggle. In spite of this, Trowa held on tight and continued his narration.

"But this was the one thing that could calm him. I would hold him from behind, one arm around his wait and another covering his eyes and I'd whisper anything into his ears. It didn't matter if it was the day's events or any random phrases I remembered from a book. It made him let go."

Quatre started to give in and it made Trowa smile a little. Still, it was far from over and Trowa knew that it was not enough.

"So I beg you," Trowa continued with all the sincerity he could convey in his voice. "I beg you to let go for now. I know you're tired and you don't trust anyone. You remember none of us but I promise you that I won't hurt you. That's the last thing I would want to do."

"What is it you really want me to do?" Quatre interrupted him all of a sudden. Trowa almost jumped at the sound of the hoarse voice. He had given up his struggles for the time being.

"I want you to stop thinking about what your next move will be. I know you have something planned, but now is not the time for it. You need to rest."

"You brought me to the hospital too early. Didn't I tell you that it wasn't time?"

Trowa frowned. It appeared that although Quatre's mind was slowly deteriorating, he still remembered some of the most miniscule events that had happened earlier. He had to wonder what the man had planned. He was probably organizing a plan of action as they spoke.

"That may be the case, but I had no choice in the matter," Trowa answered. "Your health comes before your wishes."

"But the people here have done nothing to further my health. There is nothing more that can be done for me," Quatre reasoned and it made perfect sense. Trowa felt that he was not up for a verbal debate, especially when he had never once won an argument against Quatre in the past.

"My concern knows no bounds," Trowa proclaimed with barely controlled patience. "You need to accomplish things as much as I need to fulfill my tasks. Please give me control of the situation just this once. Trust that I will let you do what you want afterwards."

"Of course," Quatre finally surrendered. "...since you asked so nicely. Besides, I'm in a much too comfortable position to resist your request. You were right in assuming that I'd be completely helpless in this position."

"Thank you."

No sooner than he said it did Quatre lose consciousness, whether because of exhaustion or concession, Trowa could not tell. He sighed and proceeded to withdraw from his position. He was reluctant to leave Quatre alone, but there were still things that needed to be done. He looked at Quatre one last time, kissed him on the forehead and then welcomed his comrades inside.

"Always a smart-ass, isn't he?" Duo greeted from the opened door. He was grinning from ear to ear. It made Trowa realize that Quatre had so easily manipulated him without realizing it. He groaned.

"Get in here and take his blood before I do to you what he did to Heero."

Frightened, Duo immediately did as he was ordered but continued to snicker from where he was positioned.

"The body does sometimes remember," Wufei said as he walked in. "But the mind sure can come up with the most entertaining comebacks."

Wufei managed to dodge before Trowa struck his head. Left with nothing more to do and two laughing comrades, Trowa retrieved Heero's still unconscious body and placed it on an unoccupied bed. At least Heero was being agreeable with him if only just for the time being.