--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
JAPANESE RAMEN
Chapter 4: A Night out on the Town/The Saga of Tonto McGuinness
By Rion and Seph Khan
An Operation A801
Ordered Production )
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Things were different in the Katsuragi household the next morning. Within the small apartment, three noises were clambering for recognition. One was the sound of the shower running, the second was a young male singing along to a recorded song on the radio and thirdly, the sound of a riding crop being smacked against something large, like a fridge for example.
"I'm walking on sunshine, woah oh oh! And boy it feels good!" Shinji sang boisterously, while holding onto a pot of rice simmering on the stove.
The boy turned and looked at the radio fondly as if thanking it for the music. 'This song isn't bad. I guess all Gaijin songs aren't so terrible after all,' he thought to himself.
The door to Misato's room slid open and the bleary-eyed tactician emerged, hangover in full swing. However, her years of constant drilling immediately started dissecting the noises. Shower sound: Asuka washing – normal. Singing: unknown - investigate. Riding crop: disturbing – find penguin psychologist.
The woman ambled over to the kitchen in a half-daze, where Shinji had started humming with the tune because he didn't know any of the English words bar the chorus.
"Shin-ji?" managed the woman.
Shinji immediately stopped singing and quickly reached over and flipped off the radio, actually standing to attention in front of the kitchen appliance. Internally he began berating himself for acting so suspiciously, as well as cursing Asuka for her drill-sergeant approach to education.
"Y-yes, Misato?!"
Misato eyed the boy carefully, who seemed very jumpy for some reason. "What are you doing?"
"Umm, umm… cooking breakfast of course!"
"Strange… I thought I heard singing."
"S-singing? Don't be silly Misato."
If it was possible, his stance became even more rigid.
"Maybe it was Asuka," he offered.
In her tired state, Misato's brain quickly jumped to the most logical conclusion. Shinji would never sing like that, it had to have been Asuka.
"Yes, you're right. Must have been Asuka."
'She has a particularly masculine signing voice, however. Might have to have a talk with Ritsuko about the side effects to prolonged LCL exposure. Personally, I thought we took the steroids out after the "Cousin It" incident.'
Shinji sighed in relief.
"Although I had the strangest dream last night," continued Misato.
Feeling that he was in the clear, Shinji returned to his cooking, "hmmm?"
"You were abducted and replaced by an alien that looked like you, and talked like you but had better dress sense."
Shinji's hands tightened. She was onto him whether she actually realised it or not, besides she was going to find out anyway…
"That… was no dream Misato. That was me, I bought some new stuff yesterday and I was getting culture lessons from Asuka."
Misato looked at Shinji wide-eyed, but then her shocked expression turned to mirth.
"Shinji, if I had to pick the real story out of those two I would still have to go with the aliens. No offence!" chuckled Misato.
Shinji held his eyes shut in frustration while his left-hand began its usual action of clenching and unclenching.
'I thought Misato would believe in me, but even she doesn't think I can possibly change myself!'
"Anyway, I think it was really just a boy that Asuka had over last night. He was pretty cute thought, she has good taste," said Misato, stroking her chin thoughtfully, "but I'll really have to have a talk with her about bringing guys home."
'ARGH!'
Looking up Misato saw Shinji shaking violently his left hand in its usual tic.
"Something wrong, Shinji?"
Once more under Misato's inquisitive stare, Shinji's composure fell apart. He felt his cheeks begin to heat up as he searched for an excuse. Finally finding no others, he quickly regained control of his hand and brought it up to cover his right one.
"Nothing at all. I think I got a bit of hot water on myself," replied Shinji, rubbing his hand for effect.
Misato tilted her head to the side and smiled, making Shinji feel even more uncomfortable with his weak ruse. If it had been any other time in the day, it would have already been over. However, Misato was too out-of-it to employ her patented 'Katsuragi interrogation technique,' which involved various photos of Rei undressing in the girls change rooms. Last time he didn't even get past the picture of her removing her left sock before blubbering out Kensuke's plans to set up 'Katsuragi-cam'.
Without hesitation, the woman walked up to the boy and embraced him from behind, trailing her hand teasingly down his cheek.
"Please be a little more careful, Shinji. I can't have my little guy getting himself hurt with only a few weeks left before graduation."
"Y-yes."
Getting the reaction she wanted, Misato smiled again before letting go and walking off in the direction of PenPen's fridge, mumbling something about getting back what was rightfully hers.
Finally out of sight, Shinji let out the breath he had been holding in and smacked his fist down on the counter top in frustration. Had Misato come back or Asuka gotten out of the shower, the stress and surprise would have clearly shown in his eyes.
"Damn it… I've still got a long way to go."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The shopping malls in New Shinjuku district were crowded with evening shoppers, rushing to finish their business before the stores closed for the night. If any of them noticed the pale albino girl standing in front of the electronics store, they would have soon forgot her in place of more pressing issues- like which store was selling the heavily discounted shoes, fridges and etcetera.
Rei Ayanami stared transfixed at the large flat-screen TV in the window display. She had never owned a television.
'What point,' she had always thought, 'was there in staring at a cathode ray screen for hour upon hour?' However, as she watched the dubbed sub opera, she was starting to understand its dark allure…
"She did what!" Eric yelled angrily as he stood up. "Becky went back to Furnace Creek and took little Eric. She wanted to say goodbye to her parents," Brooke said, sighing with exasperation."And she felt it was alright if she took the baby with her!" he yelled, incredulous.
Rei blinked. If she had known enough to be a critic, she could have easily pointed out the poor acting, clinched storyline and lousy production values. Yet she couldn't draw herself away. She felt... warm inside.
'Why do I feel this way? Why does it make me want to be…' she thought before her attention was once again caught by the cyclopean god.
"Oh God… she's going to be so-o-o excited," Brooke cooed.
"Well, I hope so. The only real reservation I have is… how Rick might react to all this."
"No!" Rei cried out, to the startlement of those nearby. Her eyes widened in shock as a red tinge appeared on her cheeks. Reaching into her schoolbag, she fumbled ungracefully for her vial of pills. Pouring four of them into her hand, she gulped them down and closed her eyes while waiting for blessed equilibrium to return.
When they opened again, she was calm and her face betrayed no emotion.
'It's getting worse. I must inform Dr Akagi,' she thought as she walked away from the electronics store as fast as her legs would take her.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Touji stood in front of the doorway to the Horaki's apartment, hand poised to ring the doorbell. He had been standing like this for over a minute now, and had gained some strange looks from the lady who lived across the hall.He absent-mindedly tugged at his bow tie. It was a strange sensation, feeling naked and choked at the same time. For once, he was wearing something that wasn't either his tracksuit or plugsuit, and it just didn't feel right. The old tuxedo was his father's; a greyish jacket-and-pants set that had once been black sometime before the Second Impact. The accompanying bow tie reminded him of a hangman's noose, which he hoped wasn't some kind of premonition about tonight.
He looked down at the rose in his hand. It was a replacement of one he had bought from a florist a few days ago. Of course, the florist had only told him how long they lasted after he had bought it. So while the wilted original had been consigned to the garbage bin this afternoon, he had had to find a quick, cheap substitute before his date tonight. Luckily, he was able to get the pruning sheers into the botanical garden without the security guard noticing.
But what to do now? Should he just hand it to her when he opened the door? Was he supposed to keep it hidden behind his back and reveal it as some dramatic moment?
'What to do, what to do?' Touji thought, looking down at his watch. If he didn't press the bell soon he was going to be late, despite the fact he was already there.
'What would Master Hiroshi do?"' he wondered. If this had been a different sort of fic based on a different sort of anime, a ghostly chibi-version of the Ramen stall owner might have appeared on his shoulder and extolled his wisdom about the ways of the world.
More likely, he would have said something along the lines of, "pluck out those damn thorns before you give it to her, idiot!"
"I know! I'll put the rose in my mouth. It's cliché, but it's romantic cliché!" Touji exclaimed. If ghostly-chibi Master Hiroshi had still been there, he would now be wondering how Touji's ancestors had escaped natural selection.
'Is this romantic or what?' he thought as he pushed the bell and placed the rose in his mouth, clamping down on the stem inbetween his lips.
Twenty minutes later, Hikari held her tweezers up to the light-globe and looked at the thorn.
"… and twenty. That should be the last of them," she said, looking down at her boyfriend. He was sitting on the edge of the bath holding a bundle of bloody tissues to his mouth.
"Mim unn oooo mutch paine…." he said behind the tissues. The act of talking meant many of the scabs in his lips would break open and start to bleed... again. "Cwrap!"
"Well, it was a nice, if ill-thought out, gesture. Thanks, Touji," she said, looking at the rose lying on the bathroom dresser. Although its petals were originally red, now the stem and leaves were a similar shade as well.
"Yore Wellcrome…"
"Well, I guess we'll have to stay in for the night," Hikari said, before turning her attention to her boyfriend's strange attire, "I know you really wanted to see the Space Vixens movie marathon, but was a Tux really necessary? Or did you just attend a funeral?"
"Baittoven" Touji said, holding out his hand. Hikari handed him the tissue box, and he took out four more to hold to his lips
"Strange, I thought you said Beethoven," she said, trying to cheer him up. She even forced herself to laugh at the proposition, Touji and her going to a classical music concert! Hikari expected Touji to join in, despite the pain it would cause his mouth.
But he didn't laugh. Instead he reached into his jacket and pulled out two tickets and a concert program. She wasn't close enough to see the actual writing on the tickets, but the concert program was obvious enough. The words 'Kyoto Symphony Orchestra' were printed in large bold type at the top, with a picture of Ludwig Van himself underneath.
"You… you got tickets to see…" Hikari stuttered, shocked. She had always imagined, but never seriously hoped that one day he would do something just for her, something unselfish and noble. Considering how much two tickets to Japan's best orchestra cost and Touji's hatred of all music made prior to 2013, this was undoubtedly both.
"Surprizze…"
"I… I don't know what to say," she said, eyes close to watering. At least, until they peered closer at the tickets and saw what time the concert started. "Oh no! We're already late, and I can't go like this. I've got to change!"
Hikari bolted out of the bathroom, heading straight for her bedroom even though it meant pushing a confused Nozomi out of the way. Touji called out to her.
"But mie mowth!"
"It'll heal! Come on!" came her reply from down the corridor.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hyuuga winced as he walked into an auditory wall of rock 'n roll. The bar was packed, the music pounding and Hyuuga's bones were jump'n jump'n in sync with the beat and base, trying to escape from their fleshy-prison
"Hmm, it's a bit quiet tonight," Aoba yelled. After nearly a decade of playing in bars and other assorted dives, a place like this like a home away from home. While his NERV job was important (it paid the bills, and the whole 'protecting the human race' thing had its appeal) here was where he was really alive. The fact that the ringing in his ears was getting louder every year was a small price to pay, in his honest opinion.
"Screw you," Hyuuga shouted. He didn't want to be here. He didn't know what had possessed Aoba to drag him along tonight. Pity? Loneliness? Malice?
"Seriously, Man. Do you see the floor?"
"Of course I do. What's your point?"
"When I play here on weekends, you can't. Too many people."
Hyuuga didn't bother to argue. Based on what little he knew, Aoba could tell him that at the strike of midnight everyone here would turn into pumpkins, and the only way for Hyuuga to find out the truth would be to wait till 12:01.
"So, now what do we do?"
"We drink and be merry. That's the gist of it, so I'm told"
"Smartass," Hyuuga replied, a mumble of words lost under the music. The two began to make their way through the crowd, Aoba navigating inbetween people with ease while Hyuuga had to jostle people out of the way just to keep up. They made their way over to the bar, which was even more crowded than the dance floor.
"Hey Juri!" Aoba yelled at one of the bar girls who was putting money into the till,
"Shigeru!" she squealed, quickly leaning over the bar to kiss him. Hyuuga politely turned away, not wanting to intrude into a personal moment. The fact that he was probably blushing had nothing to do with it. Aoba patted him on the shoulder a few seconds after he had
"Oh, my embarrassed friend here is Makato. Makato, met my new girlfriend, Juri."
"Hey there!" she said, smiling.
"A pleasure," he replied, nodding in a kind of semi-bow. He didn't know what else to say, although he did try to keep his eyes down. Friend or not, he could imagine how Aoba would react if he caught him staring at his girlfriend's large breasts.
"Cute, but is he always like this?" Juri said, leaning over even further to whisper in Aoba's ear. Before he had a chance to reply, another voice called out from down the bar.
"Hey, Aoba and Hyuuga! Over here!"
Hyuuga whipped his head around. Several metres down the bar, Misato was standing on the foot railing and waving to get their attention."
"My my… isn't this a coincidence?" Aoba said, smirking. At that moment, a number of things clicked in Hyuuga's head.
"You… you bastard! I'm not ready yet!"
"Time to sink or swim buddy," he said as he grabbed Hyuuga by the scruff of his jacket and dragged him over to Misato.
"I thought you only played on Thursday and Saturday, Aoba!"
"Yeah, and I normally get paid then. But the manager only got back from his Sendai yesterday, and owes me two weeks back pay. Speaking of which," Aoba said, eyes tracking a middle-aged man as he walked out from behind the bar and through a door marked 'Staff Only.'
"I'll see you guys around, okay?" he said as he followed the other man, turning around to give Hyuuga a thumbs up before disappearing into the crowd. Hyuuga groaned.
"What's the problem? Afraid to be seen with me outside of work?" Misato teased.
"Ah, no no! It's not like that at all!"
"Then loosen up a bit! Do you want something to drink? I'll shout you this time,"
"Thanks, but I don't think…"
"Hey Juri!" Misato called, already waving Yen at Aoba's girlfriend, "a Vodka and Orange for me and..."
She turned to him, "So, what are you having?"
"Ah…" he said, racking his mind for an alcoholic beverage. When none were forthcoming, he fell back on, "…beer?"
"A pint of Yebisu!" she added
"Coming right up Misato!"
Three Vodka and Oranges and only half a pint later, things were getting decidedly blurry for Hyuuga.
"Hey Juri! Another one," Misato yelled.
"Damn sister, haven't you heard of moderation!"
Misato blinked and turned to Hyuuga, who looked like he was really regretting opening his mouth.
"What did you say?"
"I don't know. The last time I got drunk was at university graduation. I was told by my friends that…"
"Told what?"
"Well, that I start speaking…jive," Hyuuga said, looking down into his beer glass.
"That's kind of neat, you know," Misato said, covering her mouth as she giggled.
"Yeah… neat," he muttered, taking another sip.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A robotic hand was raised aloft in victory and the crowd went wild. The Sumorizer stood triumphant over the mangled wreckage of Divine Wind Bot Mark III, marking the end of the Super Robot Wars deathmatch. "The Sumorizer continues it's three month winning streak!" the announcer yelled, "anyone who bet against it must be kicking themselves now!""Warrrrk!" PenPen replied, clapping his flippers at the TV.
"Oh, shut up," Shinji replied, clenching his fist and imagining unethical uses of Evangelion Unit 01. Disgusted with both the Sumorizer and the bird, he began channel surfing for something better.
As he did so, Asuka walked into the lounge room with an evil grin plastered on her face. It could have been just a normal grin, but previous examples had always been a prelude to serious Baka-bashing. So for the sake of the argument, we'll call this one evil as well. PenPen leapt off the couch and bolted towards the sanctuary of his fridge, hoping to ride out the storm. Shinji remained on the couch, steeling himself for what was coming with his 'brave brave Shinji' face.
"Time for the second part of your education," Asuka said, eyebrow raised sardonically, "think you're ready?"
"I'll manage. What are we going to do?"
"We're going clubbing. Get dressed, it'll be best if we get there before the rush starts."
"I don't want to sound like a naysayer here…" Shinji began, aware of the displeasure now showing on Asuka's face.
"But?""We're under eighteen and tonight is a school night," he pointed out. She shook her head.
"You really are naive, aren't you?" she said, but Shinji just stared blankly at her. Asuka sighed, "Just let me handle this okay? I had some friends back home make some fake IDs for me, I can get us past the bouncers."
"Well, what will Misato say?"
"She won't know we're gone!"
"…if we bump into her at the bar?" Shinji finished. Asuka was silent, grappling with this unexpected valid point.
"Oh… Well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Lets go!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Touji and Hikari were sitting together in the concert hall, listening to the closing notes of Beethoven's 9th. Several of the society matrons sitting close to them were scowling at the two teenagers, who seemed more interested in each other than the music.
'It's been an hour and he hasn't made a joke about the poor fat orchestra conductor,' Hikari thought, 'for that matter, he hasn't said a word. Has he finally grown up?'
'I mustn't talk… I mustn't reopen sores on lips… But dear god, I want to make a joke about the fat conductor…' Touji thought, a cold sweat on his brow.
Hikari leant to her side and rested her head on Touji's shoulder. This got even more hostile glances from the elderly socialites
'She seems to be enjoying herself. I haven't seen her so affectionate since I got out of the hospital after the 13th…'
"Touji?" Hikari whispered.
"Mmmm?" he replied. She continued to whisper, so as not to disturb the audience around them.
"I know how much this must have cost you. I just want to say… thanks."
"Mhm mhm," Touji mumbled happily.
"I hope you're enjoying this. Beethoven is my favourite classical composer," she said. Touji had the foresight not to ask when they'll be playing the Star Wars theme.
'Well, she likes it, and I'm not completely bored stiffless. This was a good idea after all,' he thought, trying not to smile and cause further injury.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Misato drove through the streets of Tokyo-3 as recklessly as normal. Hyuuga sat in the passenger seat, watching the road streak by. Although Misato had had a lot more to drink, she could handle her liquor better than her adjutant could. Hyuuga should have prevented her from driving, but besides, it was hard to tell the difference between Misato's drunk driving and her 'regular' driving style.
"I never said thank you, you know," Misato said, drawing Hyuuga's attention away from the road.
"Thank you for what?"
"For rushing over to my place and picking up the sync test. If you hadn't, I would have had to rush back and get it myself, delaying the whole test by an hour. The Commander would have had my guts for garters..."
"It's nothing... "
"Still, I've been feeling sorry for jumping down your throat over it at first in order to cover my own ass."
"I said it was nothing!" Hyuuga said, sounding a bit more irate than he meant to. Misato was silent while Hyuuga mentally kicked himself.
"Ah… I had fun tonight," he said, trying to salvage the conversation.
"Really" said Misato, smiling a little again, "then I've got to drag you out from work more often then."
"Yeah, that would be nice," he replied.
"You're pretty cute for a shy guy, you know?" Misato said as she suddenly hit the brakes. Hyuuga didn't know what shocked him more- the comment, or being forcefully thrown forwards by inertia.
'I guess seat belts do save lives,' a part of his mind noted absently.
"This is your stop, I believe," she said. Hyuuga looked out the window. The car had come to a stop right outside his apartment. Like many before him, Hyuuga wondered whether he should be grateful for surviving a trip with Misato.
"Yeah, thanks," he said, undoing his seat belt and opening the door even as his heart screamed to stay there with her.
"Hey Hyuuga?" Misato called. He turned around just in time as she disengaged her seat belt and enveloped him in a bear hug.
'Is this a dream?' he thought as he tentatively wrapped his own arms around her.
"Want to go out on the weekend?" she asked.
'Yep, it's a dream,' he thought, 'the alarm clock will ring any minute now.'
"Sure," he replied, his voice narrowly disguising his joy. The two broke apart and Hyuuga stepped out of the car.
"See you at work, Makato," Misato said as she leant over to close his door.
"See you, Misato," he said, stepping back from the car as it pulled off the curb and accelerated down the street.
He stood outside his apartment building, alone and still stunned long after she had gone. His arm was dotted with little bruises, where he had pinched himself to make sure what had happened was real.
Makato Hyuuga had never been happier than he was now, feeling the sharp stinging pain on his arm.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Outside one of the many nightclubs in downtown Tokyo-3, the blaring dance music could be heard even at the near-end of the line, which was where Shinji and Asuka were located. Shinji smoothed out his jacket and wondered firstly how he had gotten himself into this mess and secondly, did he really look like his father? Off course, these thoughts were completely washed away when he turned to look at his companion. He did have to admit she looked good in her matching black blouse and miniskirt with knee high boots, and it certainly made her look older than what she really was. Leaning to the side in order to look down the line of people, he saw at least twenty people standing ahead of them, all in their mid twenties. He then looked behind him to see a man and woman kissing, making him blush deeply and turn back around.
"What is the matter with you?" asked Asuka, her tone obviously irritated.
"Nothing!" squeaked the boy.
Surely, Asuka didn't buy that.
"Then shut up, stop looking around like an idiot and try and look impassive, blend in."
"But all the other couples are…" argued Shinji, who promptly shut up when he realised what he was saying.
"I know… I'll take care of it when the time is right," snapped Asuka, before mumbling to herself, "the things I do to get into nightclubs."
Just before the couple in front of the teens was let though, Asuka picked up Shinji's arm and draped it across her shoulder, pressing herself against his side. Shinji meanwhile shifted into high alert, his whole body began to tremble as he feels Asuka's curves pressed snugly against him.
"Don't get any strange ideas Third Child, this is just to make us less conspicuous, and stop shaking!" hissed Asuka.
Shinji nodded, although still continuing to fidget, of course. Asuka was just using him to blend in. She meant nothing by it.
'Come on, this is my chance to show Asuka I'm not a total screw-up yet I'm blowing it!'
Shinji shut his eyes and straightened his shoulders, mimicking the impassive look he saw the other patrons.
"Good boy…" whispered the girl, making Shinji's knees go weak once again.
Maybe he wasn't.
The two stepped up to the very large bouncer standing in the doorway to the club. He peered at them through his dark sunglasses and gave a small smirk. Asuka just flashed a ditzy smile at him and snuggled back up to Shinji, who gave a knowing nod. As they almost reached the door the bouncer piped up.
"ID's please," said the man in a gruff voice.
Asuka uncurled herself from Shinji and reached into her purse to produce her ID. The bouncer nodded and opened the door.
"Have a good night, Miss Katsuragi," he replied.
"Thank you," cooed Asuka as she stepped inside, shaking her hips.
The man took a moment to savour the view before he turned back to Shinji, "Sir?"
Shinji gulped and reaches into his pocket and shows the fake card that Asuka had slipped him when they first got into line. The bouncer examined it for a second then lowers his glasses and read the card again just to be sure.
"Mr McGuinness, you must have had some wonderful cosmetic surgery, you certainly don't look 28…" he said, turning the card around to show Shinji the photo of the grinning red-haired Caucasian on the front, "or Irish."
'Goddamnit Asuka! I must run away, I must run away!'
Shinji started to turn, ready to flee the scene until the bouncer put a hand firmly down on his shoulder. At this point Shinji's mind had shifted into 'panic mode' and he began to ramble.
"Ididn'tmeantodoitbutAsukareallywantedtocomeandIdidn'twanttoletherdownandnotimpressherbecauseIcouldn'tlivewithmyself!"
"Woah, slow down! I don't need to hear your life story. But perhaps we could come to some kind of… arrangement."
Shinji reached for his wallet.
"Forget about money, I prefer entertainment. I'll give you two choices."
Shinji whimpered as he wondered what they were. He had seen enough Yakuza films to warp his view of reality.
"You can either dance an Irish jig for me, or I can shove this antique American Xbox controller up your ass."
Shinji cringed, feeling his body scream at him to take the first option.
"As tempting as number two sounds, I think I'll go with the jig."
The bouncer looked forlornly at his box of unused US version Xbox controllers next to the doorway.
"They always pick number one. I'm never gonna get rid of these things," he grunted, "so be it."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I'm home!" chirped Misato as she stepped into the apartment.
Misato listened for the telltale signs of teenage activity; TV – off, stereo – off, rooms – vacant, bathroom – vacant. Finding none her tactical mind quickly deduced a likely occurrence.
"Must have gone out," she shrugged, "they better be back before twelve though, it's a school night."
The woman shrugged of her outer clothes as she made her way to the bathroom, inside of which she stripped out of her remaining clothes and began to run a warm bath.
'I wonder if they went out together?' she asked herself as she sank into the warm water.
'No. I couldn't really see Shinji running off to clubs with Asuka, but then he's always done a lot of things he never liked when in her company… maybe…'
She chuckled to herself as she remembered when Shinji was coaxed, or forced into bungie jumping with Asuka during their vacation at Okinawa. Shinji was about to chicken out when she shoved him off the platform. All the attendants agreed that they had never heard someone scream quite so much even after been lowered to the ground. But the more she thought about it, Asuka was always getting Shinji to do crazy things with her, and Shinji kept agreeing.
Misato tilted her head back into the water looking straight up at the ceiling almost swearing she could see her two young charges staring back at her.
"I wonder what they're doing right now…"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"You are the lord of the dance!" chanted the bouncer.
"I-I am the lord of the dance," replied Shinji as he trotted around the sidewalk, his voice not the only thing weakening.
"You are the lord of the DANCE!" growled the bouncer, shaking his fist angrily.
'It sure is a big fist,' the boy noted. Fear drove him onward to redouble his efforts.
"I AM THE LORD OF THE DANCE!" cried Shinji.
The boy used what little knowledge he had gathered from the discovery channel on Ireland, river dance and TV commercials for Lucky Charm cereal to construct a very shaky jig that consisted of an awful lot of bouncing and prancing. It was obviously not a real Irish jig, but from the reaction he was getting from his 'audience,' they didn't really care. The bouncer clapped his hands together loudly, laughing his head off, along with half the other patrons of the club, some of which had even come outside to watch.
"Faster!" demanded the bouncer.
Panting and sweating Shinji had no idea how long he could keep the act up for but the guard's fist seemed bigger and stronger every time he looked at it… It was humiliating and it was all one person's fault.
'Damn you Asuka! DAMN YOU TO HELL!'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Misato emerged from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her body and her damp hair hanging limp behind her. She wandered over to the fridge and opened it to find a horde of half eaten meals, the ones containing fish completely gone.
"Strange, guess I'll have a beer instead," decided Misato, "whatever Makato says, I can drink a few more before needing a 'dang stomach pump…"
She opened the lower drawer expecting a shelf full of beer, but was instead greeted by a shelf of nothing, besides a few empty scans scattered on the trays.
"This is starting to get annoying."
Walking over to the other fridge, she opened it to find PenPen nestled in one of Asuka's blouses, quietly sleeping off his raid while surrounded by crumbs of food and empty cans. The woman's annoyed face curled up into a twisted smile as she looked down on her quarry.
"Bingo."
She reached down and clamped her hand over the penguin's beak, waking up the bird in a start. He tried to wark in alarm, but Misato's grip remained firm. Noticing his master's evil smirk, he struggled even harder before realising it was hopeless and resigned himself to his fate. Misato scooped the bird up in her free hand and hoisted him into the air… rather difficultly, considering his sudden weight gain.
"I think we need to have a little heart-to-heart talk, my feathery friend," stated Misato as she carried her pet into the kitchen mumbling under her breath how something made of feathers could be so heavy.
"Warkkkk," cried PenPen in a disheartened tone.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Completely humiliated but finally inside, Shinji stood at one of the side bars and looked dejectedly at his second glass of whatever he had ordered, a "Black Prussian" or something like that. Feeling the presence of another person in front of him, he turned around to see Asuka, who beamed at him. He turned back to gaze at his glass.
"Having fun?" grinned the girl as she sidled up to the bar.
"No…" grimaced Shinji.
"Look on the bright side, they let you in."
"Yeah but only by publicly humiliating myself," complained Shinji, although a look of relief washed over him briefly, "but then at least I didn't have to do the alternative."
"The old Xbox controller option huh?"
Shinji looked up from his drink. "What?"
"Never mind." Asuka quickly covered, not ready to reveal the wild nature of modern German raves at that time, "just loosen up a bit and have some fun."
Shinji threw Asuka a glance that crossed between curiosity and hostility. The girl was slightly started, to say the least.
"Fun? That's a strange way of describing all this."
Asuka then did something Shinji would never have expected. She walked over, put her hands on his shoulders and leaned down, her lips now right next to his right ear. Shinji shivered slightly as Asuka grinned.
"Okay, maybe we skipped a few chapters in your training. However, you'll look back on this one day and laugh, alright? So come on, finish your drink and I'll teach you how to dance."
'She's doing it again, she's manipulating me! For all I know, she was on the other side of those doors watching and laughing at me. But she's never been this open and forthcoming with me before. Maybe she's drunk? Maybe I'm drunk? No… it's got to be a trick, Asuka is only doing this for her own personal amusement.'
Shinji's veins began to course with a strength he never knew he had. Either that, or it was the high-alcoholic content cocktail mixing with his low tolerance body. He opened his lips and said something before his mind even caught on.
"I think I've already done enough dancing tonight. I'm sure you enjoyed it."
"What?" asked the girl, obviously confused.
"Watching me make a fool of myself outside just so I could go clubbing with you. Everyone always told me that you were a sadist, but I didn't believe them until now."
Shinji felt Asuka's hands leave his shoulders, but before he could miss their presence, his face was introduced to her fist, knocking his head hard to the left.
"You always were a fool," she growled, "I win this stupid bet, hope you and that damn penguin have a good date next week."
Shinji listened to the angry stomp of Asuka's boots as she made her way to the dance floor. The boy sipped the rest of his drink and then hung his head in shame until the bartender reached over to pick up his empty glass.
"Sir? Another Black Russian?" asked the bartender.
"Another Black Prussian please."
The bartender was a student of the Tokyo-3 Academy of the Arts, and of course had to do this night job to make ends meet, but it could have been worse. The work wasn't that hard and the pay was above the minimum rate. The only part of the job he hated was when he had to put up with the taunting and ignorance of obvious minors. It was insufferable!
"Of course, Mr McGuinness…" replied the man, menacingly.
'Do I naturally piss people off or something?' Shinji wondered.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"You know what your problem is? You're too civilised. You're a smart bird. You've been in the presence of humans for too long, and know you're beginning to think and act like us. Now I'm sure some biologist or researcher would probably go ga-ga over that, but the fact remains- you have human problems. I blame myself, it's my lifestyle that has corrupted you, but I'm going to change that right here and now!" stated Misato.
PenPen leaned his head to the side curiously.
"Waaarrk?"
Misato shook her head dismissively, "we'll have none of that cutesy poo acting, thank you. You're an alcoholic, an obsessive eater and a very lazy bird to boot."
"Warrrk!"
"Don't shoot the messenger!" said Misato, holding her hands up defensively, "you're out of control and if you want to act human then you also have to adhere to human rules and responsibilities. First we'll be phasing out your alcoholism and overeating, I'm tired of having to clean up your little messes and dealing with a hungover pet."
Misato paused to take a swig of her own beer. PenPen scowled as only a penguin can. Finishing her beverage, Misato help up an electronic lock and several plastic swipe cards that all strangely had 'Property of NERV security division' engraved on them.
"As such, I'll be installing a lock on the fridge that only works with this key card. We'll be able to control your alcohol and food consumption much better this way. This will help us solve problems one and two. For problem three, starting tomorrow Shinji will be taking you to the hot springs to do laps."
The penguin sighed, "wark…"
Noticing her pet's distress Misato scooped him up into her arms and hugged him tightly as he tried in vain to escape.
"Don't worry, you'll see. You'll be a better per… I mean penguin because of all this! Of course Ritsuko says I'm doing this because my maternal instincts are kicking in and you're the closet thing I have to a child, but I don't believe that for a second, hahaha!"
The torture was over when she released him from her grasp and he slid back onto his chair with his feathers literally ruffled. Satisfied, Misato grabbed the locking system and set to work installing it, however her vast knowledge of assembling do-it-yourself furniture with an alan key proved useless. After much screaming, cursing and the use of many screws that rendered the fridge looking more like a pincushion than a food storage device, it was done.
Wiping her brow, Misato looked up at the wall clock and gasped at the time.
"I'm going to miss the documentary about Julius Caesar's campaigns in Gaul!" the woman said, suddenly remembering.
In her rush to get to the TV, Misato dropped all her tools and more importantly, the keycards on the kitchen table. If she had remembered, she would have still been secure in the fact that PenPen couldn't fly, so he couldn't reach them.
PenPen looked up at the table from his position on the floor, then at the fridge, then at the chair Misato had been sitting on and then at the stack of old telephone books in the corner of the kitchen. Misato was about to get a cruel lesson from nature that human intervention was just a stall in every sense of the word.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Asuka threaded her way through the dancing crowd towards the relative safety of the bar, desperately in need of water.
God she was thirsty! Despite being in the peak of physical fitness (as if she, let alone NERV would accept anything less), dancing for half-an-hour nonstop had taken it out of her. She would normally have taken a few-minutes rest ages ago, but she couldn't bring herself to talk to Shinji again. It wasn't like she was running away from him, she reasoned. She was merely… keeping her distance.
"Some water please!" she yelled at the bartender when she finally got his attention. He handed her a glass and then demanded an exorbitant amount of Yen for what was basically tap water. Even if it did have one of those novelty paper umbrellas in it.
"You know, it's customary to drink alcohol at the bar," said a man who had suddenly appeared next to her. Asuka turned to look at him. He was pretty good looking and was well dressed, even if it was in a 'Wannabe Yakuza thug' sort of way. Normally she would have been happy to talk to him, but tonight she wasn't in the mood for flirting.
"I'll stick to my water, thankyou very much," she said coldly, hoping he would get the hint and leave.
"But where's the fun in that?" he asked, smiling sweetly, "I know, how about I get a shot for you while I…"
"No thanks," she said, resolutely, "I'll go and drink somewhere else now."
She made to get off her stool, but a hand on her right grabbed her and forced her back down onto her seat.
"Not just yet. It isn't very polite to refuse a drink, you know?" said the newcomer who had grabbed her shoulder. He grinned at the man who had been chatting her up, who smirked right back. Her blue eyes glared into his cruel, brown agates and Asuka could not help but think that they had met before.
"If those hands aren't gone in two seconds, I'll break them. This is your only warning," Asuka growled, barely suppressing the rage that had awoken in her. She surveyed her surroundings. She could fight both of them and wipe the floor with their asses. However, there were a number of other guys standing nearby, all who were watching what was unfolding at the bar with amusement.
'Crap, are those are all his friends! Not even I can fight them all at once, can I?'
"I doubt it Asuka. There's not much you can do without that big red robot of yours now, is there?" said the first guy.
"So my reputation proceeds me," she said, darkly. He leant closer to her, so that their faces were mere centimetres apart.
"Of course, Asuka. I've told all my friends about you, in quite some detail. But the question is, do you know me?"
A number of things clicked in her mind at that moment, as recollection finally made itself known.
"Well, what do you know," she said, "it's that guy I dumped at the amusement park years ago. Finally figured out I wasn't coming back, hey Keito?"
Keito scowled at the reminder of that long-hated day so many years ago.
"The great Asuka Langley Sohryudeigns to remember me. What a joyous day!" he said, laughing sardonically. A couple of the guys around him sniggered, but the rest were silent.
"The trip down memory lane has been nice, but here's a little advice- get over it. Now beat it, before I scream for help to the bouncers."
"I'm afraid not, my little forget-me-not friend. My dad owns the place, and they know which side their bread is buttered on."
Asuka looked to her side. The bartender was bending over the glass polisher on the other side of the bar, doing his best to look in any other direction but theirs. She could expect little help from any other of the clubs patrons either, as the loud music and Keito's surrounding friends would block all signs of a struggle.
'Damn, he isn't bluffing. It's all up to you, Asuka!'
She smiled warmly at her enemies, hoping to throw them off guard for a few seconds. Then, with absolutely no warning she whipped her head forward in a head butt, connecting solidly with Keito's nose. The young man fell backwards, clutching his broken nose as blood spurted out from around in between his fingers.
Unfortunately, the force of the blow was enough to daze Asuka momentarily as well. By the time she turned to deliver an uppercut to the member of Keito's gang near her shoulder, he had stepped far enough back that her punch went wild. As she tried to right herself, he stepped forward and slapped her with his full strength. Asuka slammed into the side of the bar, clutching her bruised cheek and wondering in her pained-bewilderment whether any of her facial bones had just broken. The man who had slapped her grabbed her by the hand and yanked her up.
"Fucking…German… BITCH!" Keito nearly screamed from behind his cupped hands, blood spilling down his face, "Take her to our guest room, and then we'll see whose fucking boss!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Oh great, not again," said the artistically-inclined bartender as he saw the signs of the scuffle developing over by the main bar, "That Keito punk wants the redhead gaijin as his new plaything"
"Quiet! If word gets back to Old Man Mizaka, you'll be lucky if you only lose your job!" said the glassie standing next to him, "Besides, shouldn't you be serving?"
"Yeah, yeah," he replied, picking up the cocktail he had just made a and putting it on the actual bar, "Here's your scotch and coke, Mr McGuin… AHH!"
The offered drink was battered aside with a force not becoming of the scrawny young man who had just bolted to his feet. The glass shattered against a Midori Promo poster, wet-glass shards bursting outwards like so-many pieces of crystal shrapnel.
All thoughts of self-pity, all thoughts of how Asuka had treated him tonight were gone from Shinji Ikari's mind. His entire being was concentrated on the bar at the other side of the club, where some sort of struggle seemed to be unfolding. There were a lot of them, and from what he had overheard, no one was going to help the 'red head gaijin'. Asuka.
Deep inside him, something he had thought long dead flared into life once more. Shinji sprinted forward from a standing start, legs pumping as he tried to get to her as quickly as possible. He didn't bother to duck and weave through the crowd. Those who didn't move out of the way of the maddened young man were knocked aside, social niceties be damned.
Shinji felt warm all over. Everything but the fight ahead was coloured in various shades of red. A trickle of saliva trailed from the side of mouth as he shrieked the hunting cry of the Third Child, Mecha-jockey extraordinaire.
Beserkergang.
Now, Shinji was not what you would consider a heavyweight in the strength/weight department. He would never be able to fight them fairly, one on one, mano-mano. Luckily, underneath the rage some shred of his combat training remained.
Misato had once told him that "a fair fight is for suckers". Victory does not go to the honourable, but to the one who will go the final mile, who will do what the other cannot or will not. He had to use every single moment to wound and hurt before they could do the same to him.
He was there. Springing forward, he landed on the back of the thug who had just slapped Asuka. With his fingers spread around the man's head and fingers looking to gouge his eyeballs, Shinji leant in and bit savagely at the man's neck
"He's biting me! For the love of God, he's biting me!" the man cried, letting go of Asuka and stumbling back. Just as he finally managed to get Shinji's hands away from his eyes, Asuka's high-heel encased foot made contact with his unprotected crotch.
As he fell to the ground with Shinji in tow, another one of Keito's more heavily muscled friends grabbed Shinji by the scruff of his neck and threw him over the bar, straight into the liquor display cabinet at the back.
Glass bottles rained down around him, many making contact with the sprawled form of Shinji Ikari. But despite the pain, he was still moving. What it did do, however, was snap him out of his berserker rage. Where once there was fury, now only steel cold determination remained.
With the grace of a gymnast, Asuka flipped backwards over the bar and landed in a handstand. With equal speed she kicked off her high-heels and flipped once again onto her feet, just in time to kick out at another of Keito's friend trying to grab her leg.
"He's my punching bag, so hands off!"
'It's just like fighting an angel in Unit 01,' Shinji thought, 'only not so bad.' This time, there was little chance of being boiled alive or dissolved into goo. As years of Eva training flooding back he reached over his shoulder and clasped a unbroken bottle of whisky that had somehow stayed on the shelf. It wasn't a prog knife, but it would do.
Target in the center, thrust forward. In one move, Shinji leapt to his feet and pushed off from the bar bench, hurtling towards his foes.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The security cameras never knew they were being hacked. Up against the full processing strength of SC Magi Casper, the small mainframe that ran the nightclubs security systems didn't stand a chance. Itesuna Watanabe, the man who was supposed to be watching the footage wouldn't have known either, even if he had been awake.
At that moment, the collection of hardware, software and wetware was relaying the images onto the main holographic projector of the Command and Control Bridge. While a team of janitors roamed the complex and a skeleton crew led by Lt Ibuki manned the secondary bridge, only two men watched the bar fight unfolding on the main screen.
"You may intervene if the situation becomes life-threatening, but only then," Gendou Ikari said coldly into the phone. On the other end of the line, the head of Shinji's security detail tried to argue a little longer, but Gendou was not a man who suffered people to disobey orders.
"Stand down. That is an order," he said with a note of finality in his voice before hanging up.
"Takes you back, doesn't it?" Fuuyutski said. Gendou allowed himself to smile… a little.
"That it does, old friend. That it does…."
"He handles himself well in a bar brawl, for an avowed pacifist."
"Off course. It seems he has inherited more than just my looks."
"The three years of combat training aren't hurting either. Looks like Section 2 were worrying about nothing, after all," Fuuyutski said.
Up on the screen, the fight had moved over to the pool tables. Now surrounded by a chanting crowd, Shinji had gotten his hand on a pool cue and was wielding it like a broadsword, striking all those who came towards him. He seemed to be aiming for the eyes, throat and groin in particular. Asuka was at his back, holding a chair by its leg and lashing out at any of the men who made the mistake of coming to close.
The two elderly men fell back into silence. Strangely, Gendou was the one who finally broke it, another strange departure from his normal persona.
"And all to protect the Second. It seems she will play an important part of this scenario."
"They do make a good team. I think we may have created a monster, Ikari."
"We have created many monsters in our time, old friend."
The two went silent again as they dwell on their unsavoury pasts. Up on the screen, Shinji has broken the pool cue over someone's head and was now wielding the two shards in his separate hands as bokkens.
"So, do you want some popcorn?" Fuuyutski asked.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The music has stopped and the lights of the club have turned on simultaneously, blinding those still on the dance floor. The majority of the patrons, however, were gathered around the fight. The added light meant that they could now watch the spectacle with greater clarity. Two of the girls who had also gotten into the club with fake IDs stood at the edges of the battle arena, watching the beer bottles and teeth fly.
"Look at that guy go!" Yume said in amazement.
"Wasn't he that Irish guy who did the jig to get into the club?" asked her friend Reiko.
"It looks like Lord Ironfist! Whatshisname, Shunji? Shinji?"
"Shinji's Irish?" Reiko asked.
At that moment, Shinji had been stamping down on someone's kneecap while slashing at someone else face with his bokkens. His eyes darted back and forth, looking for another challenger.
"He must be," Reiko said, heart fluttering, "he fights like the true Lord of the Dance!"
"A rabid monkey on crack, more like it," Yume said dryly
"Such emotion, such drive... No wonder he hangs out with Kensuke," Reiko said, sighing like the lovesick teenager she was. Yume ignored her, concentrating on the fight.
"Well, all that time spent alone in his room must have really improved his hand/eye coordination! Go Lord Ironfist!"
"Go Lord of the Dance!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Between the two of them, Shinji and Asuka had taken out all those who had opposed them. Keito was curled up in a ball on the ground, thought it wasn't enough protection from Asuka's additional kicks.
"No one fucks with a German and gets away with it, arschloch!" Asuka growled, spitting before kicking him once more for good measure.
"You… okay?" Shinji managed to get out in between gasps for breath. He wiped the froth that had gathered around his mouth with the sleeve of his dress-shirt.
"Better than them, at least."
"Then let's… go home," he said, dropping his 'progressive pool cue shards'. The bouncers were finally appearing out of the woodwork, and it didn't look like they would blame their boss' son for the burly brawl that had erupted in his nightclub.
In later years when Asuka thought back about that momentous night, she could never pick who had thrown the bottle. Was it one of Keito's friends who had managed to get to his feet without them noticing? One of the crowd who did it out of spite or just for a joke?
It was too late to dodge, but she shouted out a warning anyway. Up to that point, Shinji's Evangelion training had been more than just a boon. As he fought, at times it seemed like he was in Unit 01's cockpit. Pain was inconsequential, merely nasty feedback from a high sync ratio. However, as the bottle hurtled towards his head with remarkable accuracy, his training betrayed him. Sweeping his arm out wide, Shinji focused his mind and cried at the top of his lungs
"Spreading AT Field!"
In the brief second before contact, he finally remembered he wasn't in Evangelion Unit 01. But by then, it was too late.
To Be Continued…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author Comments
Rion:
Well we're back. Its been a long year for us both, final year of university for Seph and working my guts out 50 hours a week for a Japanese company that should have stuck to air conditioners rather than computers. Still the Ramen project marches on and as we approach the halfway mark its time for reflection of what we have done and what we still have to do. For all those who have been commenting about the shallowness of the material all I can say is keep reading and you will find more substance as the story develops, we are certainly nowhere near the peak yet. I would also like to acknowledge our newest pre-reader and editor Brie Cheeze for his work with us on this project and his efforts to help us bring you the most readable story we can. Also stay tuned for the halfway specials written by Seph and I, I was hoping to get mine out by Christmas but time does make fools of us all. But early in the new year you will see "Ramen part 5" and "Its a Rameny kinda Christmas". Best holiday wishes to all, and to all a good afternoon.
Seph:
Baka Seph was nowhere to be found at the posting of this chapter and will yet again remain as silent as the walls that keep him imprisioned.