The next morning is spent packing and getting ready to return home. Before we leave, we have lunch with Sharon and Vicki in a quiet corner of the hotel's restaurant. As we're waiting for our food to come, I get to hold Vicki. The feeling of wanting a baby comes over me again.
"What is his name?" Grandmother asks rather sternly.
I look up from the little bundle of perfection in my arms.
"What's whose name?" I ask, totally confused.
"The young man you are in love with," says Grandmother.
"What makes you think I'm in love?" I reply. My heart is starting to race and I can feel my face warming up.
"You keep looking at Vicki like you want one for your own," she says. "Therefore, you must be in love."
"It is totally possible to want a baby and not be in love, Grandmother," I respond.
"Not in this family it's not," she replies. "So, what is the young man's name?"
I can see the grilling coming. I know she won't let up until I've answered all of her questions. I contemplate creating a hole under me so I can disappear, but I realize that it's just not feasible. I'm still holding the baby. Grandmother is staring at me. Sharon is trying not to laugh herself out of her seat.
"Abe," I say quietly, staring at the table. I feel like a little kid who's been caught doing something bad.
"Abe what?" she asks.
"Sapien. His name is Abe Sapien," I answer weakly.
"That's a rather unusual last name," she says. "Where is he from? Have you met his parents? Does he come from a good family? Does he work? What does he do for a living?"
With every question she asks, I realize that I don't know a lot about Abe. In fact, I know almost nothing about him.
"I don't know," I tell her. "We'd only just met before I came to New York."
"Have you Kissed him?" she asks.
"No," I say. Technically I'm not lying. After all, I didn't kiss him.
"Has he Kissed you?" she continues.
Drat. "Yes," I answer meekly.
"When?"
"A week ago," I answer quietly.
"Good," she says. I look up at her confused.
"Good?" I ask.
"Yes, that gives me nearly a whole year to plan the wedding," she replies.
"Wedding!? What wedding!?" Ok, now I'm starting to panic.
"You're wedding of course, child," she says smiling a self satisfied smile. I hate it when she smiles like that. I always feel like a mouse that's been cornered by a cat.
"Shouldn't we wait until he asks me first?" I ask barely controlling the panic.
"Of course not," she says. "He'll ask you, don't worry. Besides, you need to consummate your First Kiss exactly one year and a day after. I guess that means we'll have to have the wedding on a Monday, but that can't be helped. What time did he kiss you?"
"About 3:00," I tell her. Ok, now I'm starting to hyperventilate "Why do we have to consummate the Kiss one year and a day after it?"
"To increase your chances of having a baby, of course," she says smiling. "It's just the way things are, my dear. You're parents wouldn't have been able to have you if they hadn't had their wedding one year and a day after their Fist Kiss. Didn't you ever wonder why you were an only child?"
I stop panicking for a moment and stare at her.
"What do you mean?" I ask her.
"Think about it for a moment," she tells me. "Earth and Air are natural opposites. You're parents should never have been able to fall in love much less have a baby. It's just the way things are with our kind. But since they consummated their First Kiss exactly one year and a day after, they were able to have you. Now do you understand?"
I sit and think about what Grandmother has said. Vicki stirs in my arms and I look at her. Her birthday is June 1st. Then I look up at Sharon in shock. She was married less then a year ago. Sharon smiles at me and nods.
"Ron and I had our First Kiss on August 30th," she says. "That's why we were married on September 1st."
"Not only is the day important," continues Grandmother, "but the time as well. How could you have Kissed this young man at 3:00 if you were with me?"
"I never said we Kissed in the afternoon," I reply. The shock on Grandmother's face is almost worth the grilling I've been getting.
"Well, in that case," she says, quickly regaining her composure, "we'll just have to have the wedding on Sunday evening and have the reception go until about 2:00. 2:30 at latest."
Luckily for me, the server arrives with our meals. I eat my salad in silence while Grandmother starts planning the wedding and reception sites, caterers, music, flowers, and all the rest of the things that are required to make my wedding the social event of the year. I'm not sure how to tell her that Abe isn't exactly what she thinks he is.
Finally, lunch is over and we say our goodbyes to Sharon and Vicki. Grandmother and I climb into the limo and while Kirk drives me home, Grandmother starts making the guest list. I sit and idly wonder what Abe would look like in a tux. How would he get the tie around his respirator? I suppose we could tape it to the front of the thing. The absurdity of it almost makes me laugh out loud.
Kirk gets me home in record time and soon I'm watching the limo go down the driveway and out the main gate. I turn and go inside and wonder how I'm going to explain to Abe that we're supposed to be getting married in less then a year.